Dismantle Repair
by shamrocker531
Summary: DM/HP - How a random meeting in a coffee shop can change everything. Non-magical. Draco/Harry, some Draco/Cedric, Harry/Oliver - Warning: Explicit sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling and various publishers including, but not limited to Bloomsbury Books and Scholastic Books as well as Warner Brothers, Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

_Music and lyrics to Dismantle/Repair belong to Anberlin. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

**Dismantle/Repair**

**Pairing**: Draco/Harry, some Draco/Cedric and Harry/Oliver

**Rating**: M (this is obviously a slash story – don't like, don't read)

**Warnings:** Mentions of abuse, violence; minor character death(s); infidelity; _explicit_ sexual content

**Genre**: Romance/Drama/Angst/Non-Magical

**Summary**: How a random meeting in a coffee shop can change _everything_.

**Author's Notes**: This story is completed and I should be posting new chapters every couple of days. I'm still breaking it up into chapters, but there should be somewhere between 20 and 25. Please enjoy!

_Hands like secrets are the hardest thing to keep from you_

_Lines and phrases like knives, your words can cut me through_

_Dismantle me down (repair)_

_You dismantle me, You dismantle me_

_Dismantle/Repair - Anberlin_

Chapter One

- March 12th -

Draco Malfoy did not usually frequent stores as…_common_ as the one he was currently in, but a frantic phone call from his best friend's wife had led him on a wild goose chase to find the newest book in a series that said best friend was _demanding_ for his 24th birthday. Draco had called around to every bookshop in the area and had finally found a place that was willing to hold their last copy for him. But that didn't mean he was at all pleased to be there.

_Who demands a _book _for their birthday? _he thought as he gripped the thick novel in his hands. He scanned the back as he walked; occasionally peeking up to be sure he didn't run over any small children or old ladies. He snorted softly to himself – _must not ever make _that_ noise again _– as he finished reading the overly enthusiastic summary on the back cover. _God…Blaise is a bigger idiot than I thought if he actually enjoys this drivel! Note to self…find better friends._

As he pushed his way through the crowd, he tried his hardest to keep his glaring to a minimum. Two months prior he had made a promise to his beloved mother that he would do his best to be a bit more polite to strangers. It had happened after a short shopping trip when she had pulled him aside and told him in her own words: "I am absolutely _appalled _that anyone could think that I would raise my child to be such an arrogant, disgraceful, egotistical person". She may have also used the words "crude", "abrasive" and "uncouth". Then she had gone on to tell him exactly how much like his father he was becoming and after recovering from the shock of her reprimand, Draco had instantly vowed to change his ways.

Lucius Malfoy was a force to be reckoned with. He was an astoundingly brilliant businessman and had one of the most intelligent, yet unethically deceitful minds Draco had known in his short lifetime. The younger Malfoy certainly had a fair amount of respect for his father, however, that in no way meant that he wanted to be _anything _likehim.

Still…despite his promises to his mother, he couldn't quite help his distaste with being forced to shop in a discount department store of all places. It had potential to ruin his entire day if he allowed it to, and three months ago it would have sent him into a week long bout of self pity. But this time, he was determined to be bigger than that, even if only on the outside. _Thank God father can't see me here._

He jerked to a stop as a small child ran directly into his legs and he cringed when he felt what he was sure were filthy, sticky hands clutching at the material of his dark grey dress slacks. He glared down into big brown eyes and he felt his upper lip instinctively curling up into a snarl, exposing his perfect white teeth.

"Jacob! Jacob…say 'excuse me'." A young red haired woman grabbed the child's arm and pulled him back to her side. She smiled up at Draco, but her face fell when she saw the menacing look that the well dressed man was directing at her and her son. "I…I'm so sorry, sir."

Draco raised an eyebrow at her look of fear. _Wow…so I really _am_ that intimidating? And I thought mother was exaggerating. _He forced his features to relax and gave the redhead a curt nod before stepping around them to continue on his way to the registers so he could just get the hell out of this God awful store.

But, before he could take another step, a soft, musical sound caught his attention and halted him in his tracks. He glanced around to see who could possibly be humming Christmas carols in March and his eyes fell on a black haired man who was currently leaning over a table, furiously scrubbing at a sticky spot while biting his lower lip and humming 'Carol of the Bells' under his breath. Draco was not one to stare (another lesson forced on him by his mother), but he found that his pale grey eyes were helplessly glued to the young man's profile.

He had shaggy black hair that was probably three to four months overdue for a cut, the complete opposite of Draco's slightly wavy, yet perfectly styled white-blond locks. The ends curled and stuck up in multiple directions, looking as if he had just rolled out of bed or had a good shag. His skin was a bit on the pale side, though not nearly as white as the blond's own alabaster skin. And the apparently second hand clothes the man was wearing… well they certainly left something to be desired. His jeans were faded and frayed and his tight red t-shirt had definitely seen better days, though it did cling nicely to his body. Draco's gaze fell to the man's feet and he cringed when he saw the scuffed and drawn on green converse high tops. There was a streak of silver around the toe of the right shoe. _Is that duct tape? _One shoe lace was green and the other one red and Draco wondered to himself if it was a continuation of the Christmas theme the boy seemed to have going or if it was merely a coincidence.

He found himself walking in the direction of the small coffee shop and wondered what he was doing. The café was very obviously getting ready to close, but the "open" sign still glowed in obnoxious red neon on the wall behind the register, so he sauntered over to the counter.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw when the dark haired man finally recognized that there was a customer waiting. He tossed the wet cloth into a tub of dirty dishes and started to turn towards the register where Draco was standing.

The blond set his book on the counter and tried to find a comfortable position for his restless hands. _Why the hell are you so bloody nervous? _He finally settled on resting them on top of the book in what he hoped was a casual manner. He heard footsteps behind him as the man approached and took a slow, deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

Concentrating on the soft squeak of the man's shoes, Draco was startled when the door to the back room suddenly flew open and a young boy of about sixteen stepped out and right up to the register. He waved a hand in the direction of the dark haired man. "It's alright, Harry…I've got it."

_Harry. _The name was a bit old fashioned and plain, but it seemed right. Draco forced a smile at the blond boy, trying hard not to show his irritation. He had only come into the café to speak with the dark haired man. _Harry_, he reminded himself. He didn't even drink coffee!

"Can I help you?" the blond boy asked as he ran his fingers through his curly, oily looking hair.

_Yes, you can wash your disgusting hands before you touch anything that's supposed to go in my mouth. _Draco sighed softly and looked up at the menu board. "Well…do you have hot chocolate?"

"All out."

Draco bit his lip, clamping down on the urge to curse at the teenager in front of him. "I suppose I'll just have a small coffee…black." It's not like he was going to drink it anyway, so why get all the frilly extras?

The blond boy nodded and turned to prepare his order.

Draco tried to maintain the casual act as he turned to the side and glanced over at Harry. He was still working on the stubborn sticky spot, but had moved on in his song selection and was currently humming 'O' Holy Night'_. Well, at least he has good taste in Christmas songs._

"Do you want a lid?"

Draco turned to face the boy behind the counter, raising an eyebrow at him. "Pardon?"

The boy held up a black plastic lid. "A lid?"

_Of course I want a lid you stupid git! _He just nodded - _politely_ - and reached for his wallet.

The teenaged boy snapped a lid onto the cup and slid it over to him.

Draco handed the money to him and watched in shock as the boy struggled to count out his change. _Holy hell…what kind of imbeciles does this place employ?_

As the boy finally handed him his change, Draco realized that the humming behind him had stopped. He glanced over his shoulder and his face fell when he saw no sign of Harry, though he wasn't entirely sure why he was so disappointed. He sighed softly and pocketed his change, then picked up his book and his unwanted coffee and spun on his heal, determined to get out of there as soon as humanly possible.

"Hey!"

Draco slammed into Harry's shoulder causing the tub of dishes to fall to the floor and shatter. His eyes widened in horror as he stared down at the mess of spilled coffee and broken glass littered around their feet. _Stupid fucking Blaise and his stupid fucking book demands!_

Harry didn't even look at Draco. He just stared down at the mess and sighed heavily as he crouched in front of the basin and began to pick up shards of ceramic and glass. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Draco's heart was racing and he felt the unfamiliar flush of embarrassment burning his pale cheeks. He swallowed thickly as he stared at the top of Harry's head. "Um…" He cleared his throat and crouched down beside the smaller man. He picked up a couple of the larger shards. "I'm really sorry about that," he said softly.

Harry started to raise his head, but his eyes settled on the sleeve of Draco's suit coat. "No bother," he said with a shrug. When Draco reached for more broken glass, Harry waved a hand at him. "It's alright…don't want you to get your suit dirty."

Draco chuckled softly. "I have at least twenty more at home."

Harry's brow furrowed at that and he quickly stood, lifting the basin and holding it in front of him.

"Can I at least pay for the damages?" Draco reached for his wallet again.

Harry set the tub on the counter and grabbed the broom and dust pan that his co-worker held out for him.

Draco pulled a generous sum of money from his wallet and held it out.

"The store will pay for it."

_Why won't he look at me?_ Draco opened his mouth to protest.

"It's alright…really. The store will pay." Harry turned away. "Out of my check," he muttered softly.

Draco felt his cheeks flush again and had to stifle his anger. _Rude, ungrateful little shit! _"But I insist."

"I don't need your charity," Harry snapped, his back still facing the blond.

Harry's co-worker took the tub of broken glass to the back room, switching the "open" sign off on his way.

Harry started to sweep up the rest of the glass then brushed it into the dust pan, stood and disappeared into the back room without another word.

Draco stood alone in the middle of the café, unsure of exactly what had just happened. He sighed softly, then took two fifties from his wallet and set them on the counter slightly under the register, secretly hoping that Harry's greasy looking co-worker wouldn't find and claim the money for himself. He grabbed his book and coffee and hurried away.

*.*.*.*

Draco was sitting in his car with his head back against the head rest as he stared out at the rain. He willed his heart to stop pounding, but none of his usual breathing exercises were working.

He had never been so humiliated in his entire life. Not only had he caused a scene in a public place, which in itself was enough cause for embarrassment, but Harry hadn't looked at him once and Draco Malfoy was not one to be ignored.

He jerked in surprise when his phone rang. After taking a moment to regain his composure, he pulled it from his pocket to see 'Blaise & Pansy' on the caller ID. He sighed and flipped it open. "Yes?"

"Are you coming or not?" Blaise asked.

"Of course. I just got a bit…side tracked."

"It's already after eight, Dray. Everyone is already here. We're only waiting on you."

"It's your birthday party, Zabini. Get started and I'll be there when I can." He flipped the phone shut, not waiting for a response from his friend. After all, it was his fault that he had been in that stupid store to begin with. He sighed heavily and pocketed the phone before starting the car.

As he was pulling out of his spot, he saw Harry exit the building, pulling a black jacket on and ducking his head from the cold rain. The boy seemed in no hurry though as he made his way across the parking lot to the bus stop bench where he dropped his bag on the sidewalk. He turned his collar up and dug his hands into his pockets before sitting down and tucking his chin in against his chest.

A small smile spread across Draco's face. _Well, we can't have that now, can we?_ He pulled the car up along side the bus stop and rolled down the passenger side window. "Hey," he called out. "Would you like a ride?"

Harry kept his head down. "No thanks."

Draco sighed and leaned over closer to the passenger side window. "When's the next bus?"

"'Bout thirty minutes," came the reply.

"You'll get sick."

Harry laughed softly and shrugged.

Draco put the car in park and got out, all the while wondering why exactly he gave a shit about this boy who just continued to so blatantly ignore him. He sat down next to him, trying to ignore the rain that dampened his hair and suit, making the material stick to him uncomfortably. "Bad day?"

Harry shifted away from him and shrugged. "Could say that."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Why do you care anyway?" Harry finally asked.

Draco shrugged. "You remind me of someone."

"Who?"

Draco laughed. "You know…I have no idea. Just…someone."

Harry turned to look at him, a small smile playing on his lips.

Draco's breath caught in his throat as he stared into the most intense green eyes he had ever seen. He swallowed and motioned to the car. "Come." He stood and grabbed Harry's bag which was lying on the ground by his feet. Without waiting for a response from the brunet, he tossed the bag into the back and climbed into the driver's seat.

Harry watched him warily for a moment before finally standing and climbing in. "Thanks," he said softly, staring down at his hands.

Draco nodded and slowly pulled the car out of the lot.

For the entire first ten minutes of their drive, Harry shifted nervously beside him.

Draco gritted his teeth. _Will you please sit still! _Fidgety people had always gotten on his nerves. "What?" he finally asked, masking his annoyance with a faint smile.

"Are you going to drink that?" Harry motioned to the still steaming cup of coffee.

"Help yourself."

Harry smiled gratefully and nodded his thanks as he took the cup in his hands.

"So…where do you live?"

The brunet laughed softly, but it faded quickly and was replaced with a frown. "Well…I suppose I should go to my godfather's house."

"You live with him then?"

Harry shrugged and looked out the window. "Hopefully."

Draco looked over at the smaller man, noticing the sad, haunted look in his eyes and the nervous wringing of his hands. "What happened?"

Harry cleared his throat and sat up straighter, but didn't say anything.

Draco let it go and concentrated instead on the road. "So…where am I going?"

"Well…he lives quite far from here, actually." A note of insecurity was noticeable in Harry's voice as he spoke. "It's about an hours drive. I understand if you can't take me that far. You can just drop me somewhere and I'll – "

"I'm not dropping you anywhere," Draco interrupted. _God…Blaise is going to be bloody furious. _"Just tell me how to get there."

A huge smile of relief spread across Harry's tired face and Draco felt his heart begin its fierce pounding once again at the sight of it.

After giving directions, Harry leaned back in his seat, trying to relax. "I appreciate this."

Draco nodded. "It's the least I could do after the mess I made in your shop."

There was no reply from Harry.

Draco sighed softly and reached for the center console and opened a compartment. "Smoke?" he asked as he pulled out a pack and a lighter.

Harry's eyes lit up. He let out all of his breath in one great whoosh and smiled in what appeared to be relief. "Oh my God, yes…thank you."

The nicotine seemed to calm Harry's fidgeting, and they drove in silence for a long while, both smoking and staring straight ahead. The rain had slowed and was now just a slight drizzle.

"We're getting close," Harry finally said, starting his nervous shifting again.

Draco handed the pack of cigarettes to the antsy boy. "Think he'll be happy to see you? You haven't said much about him."

"I don't know. I haven't spoken to him in months. Maybe I should have called first."

Draco saw the trepidation on Harry's face, so he pulled the car over to the curb and put it in park. "Here." He pulled out his cell phone and handed it over.

Harry's hand was shaking as he took the phone. He hesitated for a brief moment, staring blindly down at the numbered keypad before finally dialing.

Draco avoided looking at him. He could tell how nervous his companion was, so he averted his eyes, gazing out the driver's side window and trying to give him some semblance of privacy.

Harry cleared his throat. "Hey, Sirius," he said softly. "Yeah…it's me." There was a long pause as he listened to his godfather talk, then he relaxed a bit and slouched down in his seat. "I know…I miss you too."

Draco felt himself smile and a tension he had not previously been aware of vanished from his neck and shoulders.

"Oh…oh, no, nothing's wrong, I just..." Harry swallowed hard and, once again, cleared his throat. He shot a nervous glance at Draco before looking down at his lap and lowering his voice. "I was just wondering if maybe…well, I was hoping that you wouldn't mind if I stayed with you for a bit?" Harry closed his eyes and a moment later, Draco saw him tense up again. "We broke up." Harry sniffled and tried to hide it with a fake cough. "No, it just…it was time."

Draco lit a cigarette and gently nudged Harry with his elbow. When green eyes looked his way he motioned with his head that he was getting out of the car. "Take your time," he whispered.

Harry gave him a grateful smile and watched him leave.

Draco paced and smoked, occasionally glancing back at the car. He could see how agitated Harry was becoming. His hands waved about and his face was splotchy and red with anger. At one point he pulled the phone from his ear and covered his eyes with one hand, obviously displeased with whatever his Godfather was saying.

Draco felt the clenching in his chest return and once again found himself wondering why he cared. It wasn't like Harry had been all that civil to him in the beginning; though Draco was starting to think that there was a damn good reason behind the smaller boy's mood.

He stubbed out his cigarette and turned back to the car to see Harry sitting with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with sobs.

Draco stood frozen in horror for a moment, unsure of what to do. Comforting others was not something he was known for or had much experience with. In fact, it was usually his callous words that caused others to seek comfort elsewhere. Even before his mother's lecture, he had known that he wasn't the nicest man in the world. And he was well aware of his reputation for being a cold hearted bastard, but he couldn't very well leave Harry to cry in his car all night. Where else was he supposed to go?

With a heavy sigh, he made up his mind and headed back to the car, being sure to make as much noise as possible so Harry would have a chance to compose himself if he wanted to.

When he pulled the door shut behind him, he was greeted with nothing but silence. He glanced over at Harry, whose face was still buried in his trembling hands. His shoulders were still shaking, but he didn't make a sound.

Draco reached over and very carefully rested his hand on the back of the brunet's neck. The skin there was burning hot and clammy, but he forced himself not to pull away in disgust. He moved a bit closer to the boy and gently pulled him against his shoulder.

Harry let out a small whimper as he turned his face into Draco's neck. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe, but ended up choking. He dug his fingers into Draco's jacket and held on so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

Draco sighed softly and rubbed what he hoped were comforting circles on Harry's back. He didn't think there was much he could say to make things better, so he just held Harry and let him cry.

The shaking stopped after a couple of minutes. Harry's death grip loosened a moment later. Finally, after the tears had stopped and his breathing had calmed, Harry lifted his head and looked up into Draco's pale grey, almost silvery, eyes.

Draco found himself drowning in green and he couldn't look away. His hand was still resting lightly on the back of Harry's neck and he was suddenly aware of exactly how close they were to each other. He should have been unnerved by the smaller man's intense stare, but he wasn't. _Beautiful. _He flexed his hand and his fingers ruffled soft, dark hair.

Harry sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, obviously enjoying Draco's touch. Then without warning, he reached for the cigarettes and sat back in his seat, breaking all contact between them.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Draco faced forward and put on his seatbelt, struggling to calm his frazzled nerves. "Well…where are we headed then?"

"He's in France with his friend Remus," Harry said, sounding as if nothing had happened. "They won't be home for two more weeks and I don't have a key to get in."

"Right." Draco started the car and checked the rearview mirror before doing a U-turn and heading back the way they had come.

"Where are we going?"

"My flat."

Harry froze.

Draco tried not to be hurt by the panic that the boy obviously felt. _Can't say I blame him for being freaked out. He doesn't even know you! _"I have a spare bedroom. You can stay over and decide tomorrow what you're going to do."

Harry tried to relax as he nodded slowly.

Draco drummed his fingers lightly on the steering wheel as he desperately tried to come up with something to talk about. He had never been good with silences. "So, why did your…girlfriend leave you?"

Harry laughed bitterly. "My _girlfriend _didn't leave me. I'm the one who left."

_Damn it, he is straight. I knew it! _"Alright. Then, why did _you_ leave?"

"It was time."

"How long were you together?"

"Three years."

Draco was surprised. He couldn't manage a relationship that lasted longer than a week, but this boy had made it three years?

"What?" Harry asked when he saw the odd look on Draco's face.

"Oh, nothing." Draco smiled at him. "It's just…three years is impressive. I usually send them screaming within a week."

Harry laughed and Draco found that the sound of it sent a thrilling shiver up his spine. He wanted to hear more of it, especially if he himself was the cause of it.

"I find that very hard to believe," Harry said as he turned sideways in his seat to face the blond.

Draco chuckled softly. "You'd be surprised. The men I end up with…" Panic gripped him and he swallowed heavily when he realized what he'd inadvertently let slip. His long, white fingers clutched at the steering wheel and he looked at Harry out of the corner of his eye, trying to gage his reaction.

Harry's cheeks flushed and he turned to look straight ahead. "So…you're…gay?"

Draco nodded, but couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Harry was silent for a moment before finally speaking again. "So, is that why you asked me if I wanted a ride? Were you planning on…?"

"I wasn't planning anything," Draco insisted. "At best I thought I'd walk away with a phone number."

"Well, I don't have a phone," Harry said under his breath.

"Doesn't matter since you just broke up with your _girlfriend, _anyway. Obviously, you're straight."

Harry didn't respond. He started to chew nervously on his thumb nail and his leg started bouncing restlessly.

"Are you alright?" Draco eyed him carefully.

Harry managed a slight nod.

_Stupid fucking Malfoy…don't know when to keep your mouth shut. _Draco cleared his throat and pulled his car into the parking lot of a small diner. He shut the engine off and they sat there in silence for a while. "Listen…Harry…I think I've been rather patient with the mood swings and the crypticness – "

"That's not a real word," Harry said softly.

" – of this whole situation," Draco continued as if Harry had said nothing. "I'm trying quite hard to be nice to you…and believe me, being nice to _anyone_ is not exactly high on my priority list, nor is it an easy thing for me to accomplish. It's not something that I normally even _enjoy_, but…you seem like a good guy and I promised my mother I'd try." He cleared his throat and silently cursed himself for saying that last part. "So…if my being gay means you're going to get all…homophobic on me, well, I would rather - "

But Draco didn't get a chance to say what he would rather do because at that moment, he found himself with a lap full of Harry, whose mouth covered his frantically and refused to let him continue.

Draco gasped in surprise and groaned deeply as Harry's tongue invaded his mouth. He grabbed a handful of dark hair and tilted his head a bit more, deepening their kiss. It was rough and passionate and Draco's head spun at the intensity of it. It had been a long, _long_ time since he had done this sober and he was beginning to wonder why he had ever stopped in the first place.

Harry's fingers were knotted in Draco's no longer perfect hair and he pulled, forcing the blond's head back against the headrest. He attacked Draco's long, pale neck with his lips, tongue and teeth while he pressed his hips hard against him.

Never one to give up control, Draco grabbed Harry's hair and forced his mouth back to his. He nipped and sucked lightly at the brunet's swollen lower lip, then let his lips trail down to his neck, tasting the boy's slightly salty skin.

Harry moaned and ground his erection against him. "How far is your flat?"

"About forty minutes," Draco muttered, his lips still pressed to the smaller man's neck.

Harry let out a frustrated groan. "Can we get a room?"

Shocked by the request, Draco laughed into the boy's neck. He stopped kissing him and pulled back enough to look up at him. "Is that what you want?" He licked his lips at the sight of Harry's lust filled eyes and flushed cheeks.

Harry nodded and smiled down at him. "Unless you want to fuck right here in the car, but I'm thinking you're probably a bit too proper for that." He laughed at the affronted look on Draco's face before leaning in and capturing his lips in another kiss, this time soft and sweet.

Unable to think straight, Draco just kissed him back. He let his head fall back against the headrest and sighed when Harry's mouth found his collarbone. "I don't want to…take advantage of…someone who's hurting," he managed between moans and heavy breaths. He hissed in pleasurable pain as Harry's teeth bit down hard on his neck, though not hard enough to break skin, then relaxed again as the boy began to sooth the bite with his tongue.

"There's a motel right over behind the diner," Harry said before gently nibbling on Draco's earlobe.

Draco could hardly breathe. He nodded in response to Harry's statement, but made no effort to move away. In fact, he just pulled Harry closer to him.

Harry found the sensitive spot right beneath Draco's ear and sucked and licked softly while pushing his hips against Draco, grinding their erections tightly together.

"Christ," Draco moaned. He reached around Harry and started the car.

"Are we going?" Harry asked, finally pulling back with a playful smile.

Draco smiled back. "Well, we would be, but as fond as I am of this position, I can't very well drive with you sitting on top of me."

Harry kissed him again, but climbed off his lap. He sat close, never breaking contact until Draco suddenly threw the car into park in front of the motel.

"Stay here," the blond said as he jumped out of the car and ran inside to rent a room.

He rejoined Harry only minutes later and they drove to the room at the end of the building.

The rain had started again, but neither boy seemed to mind that they were completely drenched by the time they got inside. Wet jackets and bags were already being thrown to the floor before Draco could get the door shut.

He threw his keys on the dresser and switched on a small, dim lamp that gave off just enough light that they could see each other. Grabbing Harry by the collar of his shirt, he spun him around, pushing him roughly back against the now closed door. He licked his neck and pressed the entire length of his body against him, sliding a knee between the smaller man's legs and pressing it up against the hard bulge he found there.

Harry threw his head back and gasped as he rocked his hips against Draco's leg. "I'm not going to last if you keep that up."

Draco laughed softly. "Don't worry. This won't be the only time I make you come tonight. We can afford to be eager the first time." He took a step back and began unbuttoning his shirt, while at the same time, kicking his shoes off. "Take off your shirt."

Harry pulled the thin red t-shirt over his head and tossed it away, quickly followed by his own shoes.

As soon as they were both shirtless, Draco pressed himself against him again, the feel of bare skin and hard nipples against his chest sending his arousal into overdrive. He growled softly as he slid his hands down Harry's back and dug his fingers into the firm muscles of his arse, almost lifting him off his feet as he walked him back towards the bed. He stumbled slightly and reluctantly let go in order to regain his balance, but when Harry made to move away, Draco pushed him back into the dresser and pinned him there. He kissed him hard while quickly unbuttoning his raggedy jeans. As soon as the button was freed, he shoved his hand into the brunet's boxers, wrapping his fingers around him and squeezing tightly.

Harry moaned loudly and bucked his hips, his fingers pressing almost painfully into Draco's shoulders as he held on.

Draco ignored the pressure of Harry's fingertips against his skin and concentrated instead on stroking him fast and hard.

"I…_fuck_…I'm…" Harry whimpered softly as he gripped Draco's shoulders and pushed down, trying to force the taller man to his knees.

Draco laughed and resisted Harry's not so subtle signs as he drew a hard nipple into his mouth and sucked. "No," he said sternly, and then pulled gently with his teeth.

"Please!" Harry shouted as he thrust his cock into Draco's hand.

Draco laughed again; excited at the eagerness he was drawing from the previously quiet boy. Oh, how he wanted to make him scream. He stopped stroking him and took a step back.

Harry groaned at the loss of contact and sent a halfhearted glare in the blond's direction. "That's not fair."

Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked at the childish statement. "Is that so?"

Harry nodded.

Draco looked him up and down for a moment, his eyes lingering on his now exposed cock, the head shiny and wet with precum. He licked his lips as he brought his grey eyes up to meet green. "Get on the bed."

Harry hurriedly moved across the room and climbed onto the bed, pushing his pants and boxers off on the way. He toed his socks off then stretched himself out on the blankets, completely naked.

Draco's breath caught as his eyes moved over one of the most perfect bodies he had ever seen. He was painfully hard and growing even harder by the second as his eyes roamed over soft looking skin, small brown nipples and a firm, flat stomach. He unbuckled his belt and pulled it from the loops on his pants, throwing it to the side. His eyes never left Harry's as he undid his pants and pushed them down over his hips to be followed quickly by his boxers and socks. He took himself in hand and stroked slowly as his mind raced, trying to come up with what he wanted to do first.

Harry's eyes were wide as he stared at Draco's cock. His breaths came faster and he bit down on his lip and moaned at the site of the blond touching himself.

With a predatory smile planted firmly on his face, Draco moved to the bed and kneeled at the edge. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer, so he pounced on Harry, straddling his hips and pushing their cocks together, moving fast and hard and giving the brunet no time to adjust.

Below him, Harry's cheeks were flushed and his eyes half closed as he frantically thrust up against him, trying desperately to match the blond's rhythm.

Draco reached down between them and took them both in his hand, holding them together to create more friction. He moaned softly and leaned in to kiss Harry. He scraped his teeth over the other man's chin, and then licked a line down his throat and over his Adam's apple as he squeezed a bit tighter and pumped his hips faster.

Harry was panting heavily beneath him and his eyes were screwed shut tightly. Suddenly, he stilled and arched his back, his mouth dropping open in a silent gasp. His hand shot down between them to wrap around Draco's and force the blond's hand to stroke faster as he let out a choked cry and came all over both of them.

At the feel of Harry's release spilling over his cock and hand, adding to the slick heat and pressure, Draco followed quickly with a sharp cry of his own. Jolts of pleasure ripped through him and he couldn't remember when he had ever come so hard just from rubbing against someone. He let go of their softening cocks and lowered himself onto Harry, continuing to thrust lazily against him, drawing out the pleasure for them both. He looked down into dazed green eyes and smiled as he brought his hand to his mouth and began to slowly lick the come from his fingers, moaning at the mingled taste of himself and Harry.

Harry whimpered softly beneath him, and then raised his head to suck one long, pale finger into his own mouth.

Draco was amazed to feel a stirring in his groin so quickly after coming so hard only moments before. But, watching and feeling Harry lick and suck at his fingers was the most erotic thing he had experienced in a long time and he was glad that they weren't going to have to wait long for round two.

Harry finished cleaning his fingers, then lay back on the bed and smiled a soft, lazy smile up at him. "That was nice," he said quietly.

Draco couldn't help but return the smile. "You haven't seen anything yet." With a gentle nudge of his knee, he forced Harry's legs apart and settled himself between them. Now that his initial desires had been satisfied, he wanted to take his time with this. He leaned in and claimed Harry's mouth in a slow, deep kiss that only grew more intense as the moments passed.

Calloused hands moved slowly over his back, fingertips tracing muscles and bone and leaving a trail of heat in their wake that caused a pleasant shiver to run up Draco's spine. He pulled back from their kiss and sat back on his heals, examining the body that he was so anxious to bury himself in.

Brilliant green eyes were staring at his cock again. Harry's black lashes fluttered and his breath seemed to stop for a moment when he reached out a hand to touch Draco.

Draco stayed completely still, allowing the curious boy to run fingertips down his length and slowly back up again. He was already fully hard and he felt himself twitch when Harry's touches became a bit more forceful. Fingers wrapped around him and gripped him, causing what little blood was left in his brain to immediately head south. "Do you have anything…_useful_…in that bag of yours?" Draco asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Harry finally pulled his gaze from Draco's erection and looked up at him. He stared into his eyes for a moment before removing his hand and nodding slowly. "Front zipper."

Draco kissed him quickly, then jumped off the bed to grab Harry's bag from where it had been thrown by the door. Crouching beside it, he opened the front zipper and rummaged through a few items. Pens, a small notepad, receipts from the café, a few loose coins. He smiled when his hand finally closed around a few small, squishy packets that he recognized simply by feel. Pulling them free, he raised an eyebrow and smirked to himself, somewhat shocked, though mostly thankful, that Harry carried individual lube packets with him. _I definitely misjudged his character._ He straightened up and slowly made his way back to the bed, holding up the small packages and smiling down at the now blushing boy on the bed.

"In case of an emergency?" Draco asked as he crawled up next to him.

Harry gave a jerky nod and his blush spread from his cheeks down to his neck.

_Gorgeous._ Draco licked his lips as he leaned in for a gentle kiss. "I've wanted to be inside you since the moment I first laid eyes on you."

Harry's hands were trembling as they came up to rest again on his muscular back. His fingers gripped him, pulling him closer as he kissed him urgently.

Draco pulled away, ignoring Harry's mumbled protests, and straddled the boy's legs. He licked trails over his neck and throat, down to his chest where he spent a few minutes teasing his nipples. He loved the feel of Harry's hands in his hair, pulling gently and tangling themselves within the silky strands. With no warning, he bit down on a nipple.

Harry arched his back and groaned even louder when his erection pressed into Draco's stomach.

"Patience love," Draco whispered against his heated skin. He returned to his task, moving down further while simultaneously opening one of the packets of lubricant. He squeezed some onto his fingers and rubbed them together to warm it up. His tongue trailed down Harry's ribcage and to his hip, where he sucked and nipped until there was a small purple love bite. Feeling the brunet begin to writhe beneath him, he finally gave him what he so desperately wanted and licked a slow circle around the head of his cock.

Harry let out a harsh breath and dropped back onto the bed, pushing his hips up at Draco, silently begging for more.

Draco held him down with a hand on his hip, then wrapped his lips around him and slowly began to suck. He brought his lube covered fingers to Harry's entrance and stroked lightly.

Harry's breath caught and he stilled.

Draco pushed the tip of his slicked finger inside and at the same time, slid his lips down over the brunet's pulsing erection, taking him deep into his mouth. He sucked hard as he pulled back, until just the head was in his mouth. With a quick swipe of his tongue along the underside, he pressed his finger in a bit further.

Harry's hips gave an involuntary thrust and he let go of Draco's hair. Clutching tightly to the blankets instead, he tilted his head back, letting out a groan unlike anything Draco had ever heard in his life. The sound shot straight through him and made his cock throb painfully. He slowly thrust his finger in and out of the squirming brunet before adding a second finger.

A piercing cry, a combination of pleasure and pain, echoed through the room as Harry pushed himself down on Draco's hand. He held his breath, then let out a quiet whimper and took in a deep, stuttering breath.

"Relax," Draco whispered. He placed a gentle kiss on Harry's thigh and very slowly began to move his fingers. "You are so fucking _tight_." He growled softly to himself and closed his eyes as he imagined that tight heat finally enveloping his cock.

Other than the sounds of his rough breathing, Harry was silent for a few moments. His body slowly began to loosen and relax, but when Draco added a third finger, he hissed softly and clenched his muscles down around his hand.

"Fuck," Draco groaned at the thought of what those muscles were going to do to him. He pumped his fingers faster, getting impatient, and sat back on his knees to watch.

Again, Harry's eyes fell to Draco's cock and he swallowed convulsively. "You're really…big," he finally said, voicing the concern that had been written all over his face since the moment Draco took his pants off.

"I know," Draco said with a smug smile. He leaned over to kiss his new lover and pushed his fingers deeper. "I'll go slow."

Harry nodded frantically against him.

Draco finally pulled his fingers free and positioned himself between Harry's legs. He grabbed the open lube package and squeezed the rest into his hand. Being sure to coat himself thoroughly, he lowered himself, guiding his cock to Harry's hole.

Harry bit his lip and stared up at Draco.

Draco could see the slight look of apprehension on Harry's face and he leaned over, running his lips over his brow and his cheeks and his nose, trying to kiss it away. "Trust me," he finally whispered against his lips.

Harry nodded and settled back onto the bed, spreading his legs a bit wider.

Draco couldn't help the affectionate smile that spread across his face as he looked down at him. He reached out a hand to brush away the dark hair that had fallen over Harry's forehead, then he let his hand trail down to cup the brunet's cheek.

Smiling brightly, Harry turned his face to kiss Draco's palm.

Draco's breath hitched at the simple gesture. Harry turned back to look at him, his green eyes wide and sparkling with trust. Trust for _him_. He felt his heart swell.

Slowly, Draco pushed just the head into Harry's now relaxed body. His arms shook and threatened to give out from the almost painful tightness, but with effort, he held himself up.

Harry's emerald eyes grew impossibly wide for a moment and his whole body tensed.

Draco hissed as muscles clamped down around him. "Harry…you have to relax." He lowered himself onto his elbows and kissed him, trying to soothe him.

"Can't…I never…you're so fucking _big_." Harry pressed his face into Draco's neck.

Draco felt a sharp twinge of desire in his stomach and he laughed as he nuzzled Harry's hair. "Are you trying to make me come?"

Harry laughed softly as his head fell back against the pillow. "No."

"Then stop saying that." He kissed him slowly, his actions silently urging him to relax, and he pressed further into him.

"Shit," Harry whispered, pulling away from their kiss and burying his face against him again. His teeth gently bit down on Draco's pale neck and he moaned, sending vibrations running along the blond's skin.

Draco's eyes fell shut in pleasure and he continued to push slowly into him. _Almost there…almost… don't rush…almost…_

He inhaled sharply. "_Fuck_." He was in.

Harry was silent beneath him, his face still pressed tightly into Draco's neck.

"Breathe," Draco whispered, though he wasn't sure if he was reminding himself or Harry. He pressed his lips to Harry's sweaty temple and kissed him gently.

He felt the shaking of Harry's hands as they moved slowly up his back then down again. Warm breath was blowing in quick huffs against his neck and it took all of his control to stay still, giving the smaller man time to adjust.

"Alright?" Draco managed to whisper.

Harry nodded against him and sucked in a deep breath. "It's just…been awhile," he muttered softly.

Draco smiled in understanding, though the other man was not looking at him to see it. "Just tell me when you're ready."

Harry nodded again, his hands still roaming over his back. His fingers slid down and brushed lightly over the curve of Draco's arse then back up to come to rest at the small of his back. He sighed softly, then moved his mouth to the blond's and kissed him gently.

"You feel amazing," Draco said softly against his lips. He raised himself up onto his hands and looked down at the flushed and panting man beneath him.

A smile spread over Harry's face as he stared up at Draco in awe. "I'm ready," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

Draco nodded and almost sighed in relief. He very slowly pulled back, sliding almost all the way out, before pushing back in with an equal amount of care. _Holy…fuck._

Harry let out a heavy breath, but made no sounds of pain or discomfort.

So he did it again, this time a little harder.

Harry's hands moved to his waist, his fingers clenching and unclenching in time with Draco's slow, easy thrusts. He was biting down hard on his lower lip and his eyes were shut tight as he breathed deeply in and out through his nose.

Draco was sure that he had never experienced such bliss. His hips moved faster, each stroke longer and deeper and it wasn't long before he was fully seated inside, swallowed whole by Harry's hot, tight body. "Open your eyes," he said, his voice low and husky.

Harry's long, thick lashes fluttered softly before he finally looked up at the man above him.

"Is it too much?" Draco asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"No…perfect," Harry said with a breathless smile.

Draco smiled and eased himself down onto his forearms. They shared an intense, heated kiss, breathing in each others air and both of them moving faster, harder against the other.

Harry moaned desperately into Draco's mouth as his hands had made their way into Draco's hair and held him tightly to him. He wrapped one leg around Draco's waist, slightly changing their position and threw his head back with an ecstatic cry when the blond's thick cock suddenly brushed his prostate.

Draco chuckled softly and kept his thrusts steady.

"More," Harry begged. "There…harder…_please_."

Draco's hips moved faster, pounding almost brutally into the smaller man. He felt the tightening of Harry's muscles around him and knew that the brunet was falling swiftly over the edge. But he wasn't ready for it to be over, so he clenched his teeth hard and willed himself not to come.

"Oh God…" Harry's back arched and his fingers scrabbled across Draco's sweat slicked back, trying to hold on as his orgasm approached.

Draco licked a slow line from Harry's shoulder to his neck, then further up to suck lightly on his earlobe. "Come for me, Harry," he whispered.

Harry screamed. His legs locked tightly around Draco's hips and his nails dug into the hard muscles of his back as he shuddered violently beneath him, hot strings of pearly white come exploding onto their over heated bodies.

Despite his best intentions, Draco felt his own climax overwhelming him. Harry was so tight that he wanted to cry at the pleasurable sensation, but he never got the chance as he collapsed on top of the smaller man, pumping his hips faster and faster, fire burning through his veins. He buried his face in Harry's neck and cried out in ecstasy as he rode out wave after wave of bliss until all he could do was close his eyes and breathe.

*.*.*.*

Draco was lying on his back, breathing deeply and trying to calm his frantically beating heart. _That was so much fucking better than some lame birthday party._ He glanced over at the boy lying on his stomach beside him. Even in the dimness of the room, he could make out those eyes.

Harry smiled at him and reached over to rest his hand on Draco's chest. After a moment, his fingers began to gently tap out the rhythm of Draco's heartbeats. "Boom-boom, boom-boom," he said softly, the smile on his face growing as he stared into silver grey eyes.

Draco smiled back and rested his hand over Harry's. He tried to ignore the fact that he didn't do this. He couldn't remember the last time he had had sex on a bed. Shoving someone up against a wall, or bending them over a desk, or taking them on the floor…he was used to those situations. He was _comfortable_ with those situations. Thinking about it, he assumed that he should be feeling very uncomfortable at the moment and was shocked to find that nothing could be further from the truth.

Harry wiggled his fingers until they slid up between Draco's, linking their fingers together.

Draco couldn't pull his eyes away from Harry's. "Harry," he whispered. "That was…" He couldn't even come up with a word to describe it.

Harry's smile grew into an ear to ear grin. "Yeah," he agreed. He moved closer to Draco and draped and arm and leg over him. "It's been awhile for me, but that was definitely worth the wait."

"Me too." Draco reached up and tucked a stray black curl behind his new lover's ear.

Harry captured the slim, pale hand in his own and turned to place a gentle kiss on his palm. "You are beautiful," he whispered before leaning down and placing a soft, chaste kiss on Draco's lips.

Draco blushed. He knew he was attractive, but he wasn't used to being told as such. His experiences usually involved a quick shag and very few words, if any. If there was a 'goodbye' he was shocked.

"So are you," he finally said.

Harry kissed him deeply, and then sat up. "I need the bathroom. I'll be right back." He turned to crawl across the bed and froze as his feet hit the floor at the same time that the bedside light turned on.

Draco was sitting, his hand still on the lamp switch, frozen as he stared at the large deep purple bruise on the lower left side of Harry's back. "Shit," he said softly. "Oh, Harry…I didn't…" He remembered roughly pushing the boy against the dresser just a few hours before, but he hadn't thought he was that rough. His stomach clenched and he felt sick.

Harry didn't face him. He was silent as he grabbed his jeans, pulling them on quickly.

"I didn't mean to…my God. I _hurt_ you." Draco scrambled out of bed and gently took Harry's arm.

"It wasn't you," Harry told him, avoiding his gaze. He pulled his arm away and reached for his shirt.

"You're…_boyfriend_?"

Harry managed a small nod.

Draco took his hand, stopping him before he could finish dressing. "You don't have to get dressed," he said softly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of." _This explains so much._

Harry stood still, allowing Draco to continue holding his hand, but he refused to face him.

Draco's eyes moved slowly over the expanse of Harry's back. Now that the lights were on and he was actually looking, he could see a few traces of yellow and blue, where bruises had almost healed, but not quite. His eyes narrowed and his grip on Harry's hand became a bit tighter when he took in the faint finger shaped marks on the brunette's upper arms.

Harry finally sighed and turned to him. "What are you thinking right now?" he asked softly.

Draco felt a frown take over his face. "I'm thinking that I'd like to kill him," he said as he let go of Harry's hand and stepped closer. He lightly rested his hands on the other man's hips. "You don't deserve that. _Nobody _deserves that."

Harry looked down and laughed softly when he noticed that Draco was still naked. His laugh faded though and he rested his hands on the broad white chest in front of him. "You have the softest skin," he whispered. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Draco's shoulder.

Draco's eyes closed and he sighed in pleasure. "Are you trying to change the subject?" He ran his fingertips lightly up Harry's back and smiled to himself when he felt the brunette shiver.

"Just trying to forget," Harry murmured before pressing a hard, bruising kiss to Draco's lips.

Draco let out a soft cry of surprise and stumbled backwards, pulling Harry with him as he fell on the bed.

Harry straddled his waist and pinned his hands down against the mattress. He stared down into Draco's eyes.

Draco blushed at the intense gaze that was directed at him. _He makes me feel like a fucking teenager. _"What are you doing?"

Harry continued to stare at him for another moment, many emotions flickering in his emerald eyes, then he kissed him again. There was nothing rough or hurried about this kiss. It was slow and sweet and Draco felt every bone in his body melt.

"I've never been with anyone like you," Harry whispered against Draco's mouth before kissing him again. He ghosted his lips over pale skin as he continued to talk. "All I saw at first was an expensive suit and perfectly manicured hands." He traced Draco's ear with his tongue and smiled when the man beneath him began to squirm. "I never imagined what those hands could do to me." He laughed softly and moved his mouth to Draco's throat.

"Harry," Draco breathed as he flexed his hands, wanting desperately to grab the man's face and kiss him senseless. But Harry's grip on his wrists never faltered.

Harry ignored him as he licked a trail over Draco's chest, pausing to gently bite a pale pink nipple. "I could stay here with you…in this room…forever." He raised his eyes to look at Draco.

Draco's breath caught at the honesty he saw in the others eyes. _This can not be real. I never get this lucky. _He stared into Harry's piercing green eyes. "Harry."

Harry let go of Draco's wrists and started to sit up, but he suddenly found himself on his back, pinned by the weight of Draco's body. He couldn't help the ear to ear grin that spread over his face and he laughed as Draco's hands roamed down his chest and to his waist. "What are you doing?"

"Taking your pants off."

*.*.*.*

It was silent and dark when Draco opened his eyes. He could see through a crack in the curtains that the sun had yet to rise. He yawned heavily and reached for his watch on the night stand. He could just make out the time. 5:05 am.

He set the watch down and rolled over towards Harry, but was surprised when he found the space empty, the sheets cold to the touch. He frowned to himself as he crawled out of bed and switched on the bedside lamp.

Harry had obviously been up for some time and had done some cleaning. The ashtray that had been spilling over with butts and ash had been washed and set on the dresser next to a coffee pot that was currently full. Draco smiled to himself. _He made me coffee. Too bad I loathe coffee, but I suppose it's the thought that counts. _The clothes that had been thrown haphazardly around the room in their desperate struggle to get undressed had been picked up and were now draped neatly across the back of the arm chair by the window. And Draco found his expensive, Italian shoes sitting on the floor by the heating vent. He smiled again at Harry's thoughtfulness. _This could really work._

He grabbed his boxers and pulled them on before pouring a cup of coffee, which he did not intend to drink, but which did wonders in warming up his perpetually cold hands. He made his way to the closed bathroom door and knocked softly. "Harry?" When there was no answer, he opened the door and was confused to find the room empty. _What the fuck? Where the hell is he?_

Draco backed up into the main room and glanced around, his sleep clouded mind slowly clearing and leaving him with a sense of dread as it came to some obvious conclusions. He set his coffee on the dresser and looked around slowly. All of Harry's things were gone. His confusion and dread swiftly morphed into anger. _He fucking left? Well, of course he left, you bloody stupid sentimental fool!_

He stomped over to his clothes and began to dress quickly, hating the ridiculous feeling of helplessness that was threatening to suffocate him. So _this_ was why his father told him to keep a cold heart.

He roughly pulled on his pants and belt, angry at the shaking of his hands. _Get a fucking grip Malfoy! _He eventually got the button and zipper done up and grabbed his suit coat. A folded piece of paper fluttered to the ground.

Draco felt his chest tighten and he momentarily debating leaving it there and not giving Harry a second thought. But curiosity got the better of him, so he picked up the letter and began to read.

"_I couldn't begin this letter with 'Dear _' because as I lay awake this morning, watching you sleep, it occurred to me that I don't know your name. How strange is that? We had (mind-blowing) sex three times, you held me and let me cry on your shoulder (which is not something I look lightly on, so thank you), and yet, I don't know what to call you. When speaking of you to my friends, I'll probably refer to you as 'the devastatingly handsome blond that pounded me into the mattress'. Hope you like that title. You certainly lived up to it._

"_Anyway…I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed being with you. No one I've ever been with has been as kind and attentive with me as you were. No one ever said my name like you did. Being with you was an experience that I will treasure always. I'm fairly certain that no one will ever compare and I know that every time I see white-blond hair or silver-grey eyes or long, pale, slender hands, I will think of you and my heart will race. I look forward to it._

"_I know you didn't feel it, but I kissed you goodbye this morning. I didn't wake you because I thought you might ask me to stay. And I knew that if you asked, I would have. But I couldn't stay, so I let you sleep. You're so beautiful, especially when you sleep._

"_So, I'm sure you're waiting for the explanation as to why I left. Well, I snuck out and made a phone call this morning and as much as I'm sure you probably don't want to hear it, I'm going home. Things are going to be different this time. We talked for twenty minutes and he apologized and I really think that you've given me the confidence to stand up for myself should any trouble arise in the future. For the first time in a very long time, I feel hopeful. Thank you for that._

"_Well…I have loads more that I'd like to say, but I can't really seem to put it into words. I hope your life goes well and that you're happy. Someone should get to bask in the glow of that brilliant smile. I just hope that whoever he may be, he deserves it._

"_I'll see you in my dreams…Harry. xxx"_

Draco just stared at the letter for a few moments before crumpling it up in a tight ball and throwing it across the room. He grabbed his shoes and pulled them on, then his jacket. _He doesn't even know my fucking _name_? _He slapped his watch onto his wrist and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He settled his bill and pulled out of the lot, squealing his tires.

"Stupid fuck," he muttered as he gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his fingers cramped and his knuckles turned white. He took deep breathes, trying to stop the painful throbbing in his chest. _Damn it…why does this hurt so badly? _Finally, when he could stand it no longer, he did a u-turn and headed back to the motel.

"Oh, hello again, Mr. Malfoy," the desk clerk said as Draco stormed into the rental office.

"I forgot something in my room," he told her. He held his hand out for the key.

"I can retrieve it for you, sir." She pulled the key from the hook behind her. "Just tell me what I'm looking for and-"

"Can I just get it myself?" he asked, a deep blush staining his cheeks. "It's…it's private."

She gave him a funny look, but reluctantly handed the key over. "Of course."

He hurried out of the office and ran to the room he had shared with Harry only hours earlier. He threw the door open and sighed in relief when he saw the crumpled paper in the corner. He breathed deeply before picking it up and smoothing it out on the dresser. He reread every word and this time, when he folded it neatly, he saw the P.S. at the bottom of the page.

"_P.S. You'll find the change from your generous tip in your jacket pocket. I only took what was necessary for a taxi and a pack of smokes. I told you I didn't need your charity. – H"_

*.*.*.*

Draco braced himself as he knocked softly on the door frame of his best friend's kitchen.

Blaise Zabini looked up from his paper and coffee and narrowed his eyes at the blond. His dark eyes looked over his friend from head to toe, lingering momentarily on his neck, before meeting his eyes. "You're alive, I see." He turned back to his paper.

Draco sighed and ran his hand through his disheveled hair.

"Sit," Blaise said, still not looking away from the paper. "I'll have Pansy make you some breakfast."

"I'm not hungry, but thanks." Draco sat down on the chair across from this dark haired friend and folded his arms tightly over his chest. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Blaise just snorted and rolled his eyes.

"That was a charming noise, dear," Pansy laughed as she walked into the room. She stopped briefly behind her husbands chair and waited for him to tilt his head back.

"Morning, love," Blaise said with a warm smile. He leaned his head back and gave her a sweet, but lingering kiss.

Draco shifted and looked away. He had been watching Pansy and Blaise kiss for close to eight years now and he had never felt this jealousy before. _Damn Harry. _He had been perfectly content with his life of one night stands and living alone, but to his surprise and horror, he found himself suddenly aching for what his two best friends had with each other.

"And I'm not making you breakfast," Pansy said with a wink.

Draco forced a smile up at her. "I would never expect you to dirty your hands for me."

She went to the kettle and prepared two cups of tea. She brought them to the table and sat down beside Blaise before pushing a cup over to Draco. "Where were you?" Her smile faded and her blue eyes narrowed as she glared at the blond sitting across from her.

Draco fiddled with his cup and kept his eyes on the table. "I met someone," he said softly.

"So…you missed my birthday for the first time in thirteen years so you could go off and fuck someone that you'll probably never see again?" Blaise folded the paper and leaned back in his chair.

Pansy leaned against Blaise's shoulder and rested her hand on his knee. "At least that explains that disgusting mark on your neck."

"Huh?" Draco touched his neck and felt the sensitive spot where Harry had bitten him the night before. He blushed as he remembered exactly how the boy had driven him crazy. "Oh…well…he was… enthusiastic."

Pansy laughed.

Blaise snorted again and shook his head.

"It wasn't…planned." Draco took a long drink of his tea and tried to will away the heat in his cheeks.

"It never is with you." Blaise stood and went to the fridge. He pulled out the eggs and a bowl from the cupboards. "You need to settle down, Dray."

Draco watched his friend cook for a few minutes. "No. I don't want to be attached. Last night just reaffirmed that." He slouched down in the chair and began picking at his nails.

The kitchen was silent but for the sounds of eggs cooking and dishes clinking.

Pansy stood and began to help her husband. After a few long minutes, she brought a plate to Draco and set it down in front of him along with a glass of grapefruit juice and silverware.

Blaise brought his and Pansy's dishes to the table and they all sat down.

"I've never seen you look so…unfulfilled after a one night stand," Pansy said softly as she watched her friend pick at his breakfast.

Draco shrugged and stared down at his food. It was a perfect egg white omelet with onions, green peppers, mushrooms and a sprinkle of cheddar cheese. It amazed him how well these two knew him. They were the only people in the world that he let into his heart. And they were the only ones who had never hurt him. At least not intentionally.

Pansy and Blaise shared a concerned look.

"Where's the spoiled, egotistical Draco that I love?" Blaise asked as he reached across the table and took his friends hand.

Pansy reached over and rested her hand on theirs. "Tell us what happened."

Draco pulled his hand away and began to eat in silence, never looking at his friends. Just thinking about Harry was making his stomach flutter and his hands shake. He couldn't do this right now.

Pansy watched him for a moment then sighed and began to eat. "At least tell us his name."

He set his fork down and picked up the napkin from his lap. He wiped his mouth then set the napkin on his plate to cover his barely eaten omelet. "His name was Harry." He looked up at Blaise, then at Pansy.

"Are you going to see him again?" Pansy asked.

He shook his head and pulled out the letter Harry wrote him. He hesitated then slid it across the table.

Pansy kept eye contact with him as she took the letter and unfolded it. She read the first line, then raised an eyebrow and glanced back up at him before continuing.

Blaise leaned into his wife and read along with her.

Draco watched their reactions. "His boyfriend hits him," he said softly.

Pansy pursed her lips as she let go of the letter, letting Blaise finish. She always had read faster than him.

Draco swallowed heavily. "He didn't even think to ask me my name," he said, his voice barely audible.

Blaise sighed softly as he folded the letter and slid it back to him. "I'm sorry, Dray."

Draco nodded as he took the letter and tucked it back into his pocket. The pain was returning and he suddenly felt the urge to get out of there. He stood. "I should go."

Pansy, who had always been able to read him like an open book, was at his side in a flash, wrapping him up in her arms and holding him close to her. "You did nothing wrong, love," she whispered. "Despite what your father says, opening your heart to someone you just met…it's brave. You are so very brave." She pulled back from him and cupped his face in her hands. "I am so sorry that it didn't work out this time, but I promise you, Draco Malfoy…it will be worth it when it does." She gently kissed his cheek.

"Yeah, mate," Blaise said as he placed a hand on Draco's shoulder. "Don't close up again. It's not good for your soul."

Draco squeezed Pansy, then let go before turning to Blaise. "I'm fine. I just…I need to go into the office for a bit. I think some mindless paperwork will help clear all these silly romantic notions from my mind." He flashed them a smile, though they both noticed that it didn't reach his eyes. "Thanks for breakfast." He walked out the door before they could say anything else.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_Author's note: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think…_


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and favorited! You made my day!_

Chapter Two

- June 5th -

"Damn it, Draco, it's your birthday!" an exasperated Pansy Parkinson-Zabini shouted as she yanked on his arm. "Stop being so stubborn and let's go have fun for once."

Draco frowned and pulled himself from her surprisingly strong grip. "I swear to God, Parkinson…if I bruise or if you rip this shirt, I will kick your scrawny arse."

Her eyes sparkled with delight as she raised her eyebrows at him. _This _was the Draco she knew and loved.

"Don't threaten my wife, you git." Blaise smacked Draco across the back of the head.

Draco growled softly as he smoothed down his hair then straightened his clothing. "Well, tell her to stop man-handling me."

"Pansy, love, stop groping the birthday boy."

Pansy laughed and kissed Blaise's cheek. "There's only one person I want to grope."

"Oh, Christ," Draco groaned as he pushed passed them and towards the club. He smirked and raised an eyebrow at the looks he got as he stormed towards the door, bypassing the line that went halfway around the building.

"Mr. Malfoy," the large bouncer said with a smile as he opened the door for him.

Draco nodded his reply.

He really didn't want to be here. He wanted to be home, in bed, alone. But he was tired of moping about Harry. The pain of being left had faded, but his loneliness had only increased day by day. So his friends decided he needed to get laid. He could find no fault in their logic and was slightly horrified when he realized that it had been three months since his night with Harry. He was becoming pathetic and that was not something that he could allow to continue.

So, he had agreed. He was now standing in a club that he had frequented on a weekly basis while in school and on an even more regular basis since then. The music was the same, the people were the same… _everything_ was the same. It was comfortable. He could breathe here.

Draco's eyes scanned the crowd. _Just choose one and take him home._

"See anything you like?" Pansy giggled beside him.

He rolled his eyes and moved towards the bar. "Whiskey…double," he said once the bartender looked his way. He looked back at Pansy. "What is it about this place that turns you into an adolescent gay boy?"

She giggled again and looked to the bartender. "I'll have a martini."

Blaise hopped onto the stool next to his wife. "Water, please."

Draco took the drink that was set in front of him and swallowed it down in two gulps. He placed it back on the bar and motioned for the bartender to refill it. He downed the second glass just as quickly then took Pansy's arm and pulled her with him as he headed closer to the dance floor.

"Fuck, Dray! You made me spill my drink."

Blaise put his arm around his wife and kissed her cheek, trying to sooth her.

Draco grabbed her martini from her and swallowed it down, ignoring the look of death she shot at him. "Are you two dancing?"

"No," they said in unison.

"Then you don't have to stay." He pushed his way onto the dance floor, dodging bodies until he was at the center.

"Let's sit," Blaise suggested. He led his wife up a flight of stairs so they could sit at the railing and observe Draco without his knowing.

Draco unbuttoned his thin, white dress shirt. He was already beginning to sweat. He pulled the shirt off and let it fall to the floor, leaving him in a tight white t-shirt.

He had eaten nothing that day, so the alcohol had hit him hard and fast. He began to sway to the music, enjoying the heat of the lights and the smell of the people around him.

He smiled when he felt hands on his waist. _Ah…that didn't take long. May even be a new personal record._ He leaned back into the body behind him and began to move again.

Warm breath blew lightly against his ear and he let his silver eyes fall shut as he soaked up the familiar pleasure of being touched by a stranger. He pushed back against a broad chest and shivered as hands slid around his waist and up to rest on his flat stomach. Lips brushed his neck and he tilted his head to the side, giving the anonymous man behind him better access.

Fingers dug harder into his skin as he was pulled tighter against the other man. "You smell good," a deep voice whispered before the man's tongue began to lightly trace the shell of his ear.

Draco moaned softly. _My God…I missed this._

The man let go of him and turned him around.

Draco stood eye to eye with a gorgeous stranger. They were about the same height, 6'1 and their builds were similar, though this man was a bit more muscular in the chest and arms. His hair was dark and his eyes a bright blue. His mouth turned up in a slight smile as he pulled Draco into a deep kiss.

_Yep…he'll do._

"He's with me."

Draco ignored the angry voice behind him and continued kissing his (hopefully) soon to be lover.

"Hey!"

Draco raised an eyebrow in annoyance, but the man he was currently attached to moved his mouth to the blond's neck and he promptly lost track of why he had been irritated in the first place. He closed his eyes and moaned.

"I said 'he's with me'," the voice spit out in anger.

"Well, he's with me now," Draco's dance partner said, his lips still pressed to pale white skin.

Draco was confused. He had thought that the man with the angry voice belonged to the blue eyed man who was currently doing wicked things to his neck, but obviously that was not the case. _Who the hell is claiming to be with me?_ He gently, albeit reluctantly, pulled back from the dark haired man and turned around.

He froze as he stared into furious green eyes.

Draco collected himself after a brief moment and turned away from Harry's piercing stare. "In his dreams I'm with him," he joked. He slid his arms around the other man's shoulders and hoped that the shaking in his body wasn't noticeable, especially to Harry. He held tighter, thankful for some kind of physical support.

Harry came up beside him and grabbed Draco's arm.

"Stop it!" Draco suddenly shouted, jerking his arm away as if he had been burned. He pulled away from the other man and shoved a finger into Harry's chest. "You have no right to claim me."

Harry swallowed heavily and tried to take Draco's hand.

Draco pushed him away. "Don't!"

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped by a rough shove from Draco's partner.

"Don't," Draco said again, this time to the blue eyed stranger. He took the man's arm and started to pull him away from Harry.

"Wait," Harry begged, reaching for Draco again.

The blue eyed man pulled free from Draco's grip and punched Harry in the jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground.

"No!" Draco yelled as he pushed Harry's attacker away. "Just…leave it alone."

"But he-"

Draco gave him a light shove and a stern look. "Just go."

The man glared down at Harry and then at Draco before pushing his way through the crowd.

Draco sighed heavily as he looked down at the brunet on the ground. Seeing Harry get hit after knowing what he had been through had sent a jolt of unease through him. He crouched down beside him. "You alright?"

Harry nodded and carefully felt his jaw.

"Let me see." Draco took Harry's chin gently in his hand and sighed when he saw a bruise already developing. He took the smaller man's arm. "Come on…let's get some ice on that." He pulled Harry to his feet and steered him to the bar where he made him sit. He went behind the bar and found a clean rag which he filled with crushed ice and brought to Harry.

Harry raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't you think they might have a problem with you being behind the bar?"

Draco gently pressed the ice to Harry's jaw then guided Harry's hand to hold it in place. "Not if they want to keep their jobs." Draco pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He took a long hit and exhaled heavily before offering it to Harry. "I own this place."

Harry paused and stared at him in shock. He took the cigarette and just held it for a moment. "You're a bit young to own a club like this."

Draco shrugged. He was happy that they were on his turf this time. It calmed his nerves, though it did nothing for the painful thumping of his heart that had returned as soon as he had looked into Harry's deep green eyes. "My father is very wealthy. I asked him for this place, so he bought it for me when I graduated university."

They fell into a long, uncomfortable silence. Draco waved over the bartender and ordered another whiskey.

"Aren't you going to buy me a drink?" Harry asked with a smirk. He set the melting ice on the bar.

"Thought you didn't need my charity," Draco snapped. Even he was surprised by the amount of anger in his voice.

Harry's smile faded, but he didn't take his eyes from Draco's. "I hurt you," he said softly, his voice tinted with a bit of surprise. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

Draco stood and smoothed down his hair and shirt, desperate to retain some sort of dignity after his childish outburst. "I should go find my friends." He glanced over and tried to smile at Harry, though he could feel that he had failed miserably. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Wait…please." Harry stood and gently took hold of Draco's wrist. "Can't we at least talk?"

Draco pulled his arm free and spun around to glare at the green eyed man. "I thought you were dead, did you know that?"

Harry frowned and took a step back. "Why would you think that?"

Draco stepped closer so they were only inches apart. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I decided I needed to see you again, just to prove that you were alright. So I went to the café a few weeks later and they told me that you hadn't shown up for work since that night and that you had never picked up your last paycheck." Draco was amazed at how quickly the pain returned with the memories. He felt the same clenching in his chest that he had felt when he had found out that Harry hadn't returned. His hands shook and began to sweat like they had when Harry's boss had told him that no one had gone to see if Harry was alright. And the anger…he couldn't remember being as angry as he had been when they refused to give him contact info so he could check himself. "The one night I spend with you, I find you covered in bruises from your so called 'boyfriend' then you go running back to him claiming things are going to be different. What the fuck was I supposed to think other than that he killed you?"

Harry reached out and touched his hand. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just thought…well, I thought we were only having a bit of fun." He tried to smile, but it didn't take.

Draco pulled his hand away and scowled at him. "That's a bunch of shit and you know it! We both know there was more to that night than a 'bit of fun'. I thought…" He sighed and took a deep breath. "You know what? It doesn't matter what I thought." He cleared his throat and looked around to make sure no one was listening to their heated exchange. He leaned in closer to Harry. "Just know…you put me through hell and I hate you for it."

They stood in silence, staring each other down, until Harry finally looked away. "I-"

"Harry! There you are! We've been looking everywhere."

Draco looked over as an attractive brunette girl hurried over to them, dragging a tall, lanky redhead by the hand. She leaned in and kissed Harry's cheek, not seeming to notice the flush of his cheeks or the vacant look in his eyes. She turned and flashed a brilliant smile at Draco, then looked back at Harry. "Harry, I didn't know that you knew Draco Malfoy."

Draco watched as Harry's brow furrowed, then his green eyes opened a bit in surprise. He shot a quick look at Draco before looking back at his friend in confusion.

Draco smirked softly to himself, amused by Harry's confused expression. _He's heard my name before. Not that that's a surprise._

The brunette girl turned to him. "Your mother works with some wonderful charities. I read an article not too long ago when she was working on that fund raiser for the homeless shelter last year. She had a lot to say about you."

Draco laughed at her enthusiasm. "Hopefully you don't believe everything you read in the paper, Miss…?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Hermione Granger," she said as they shook hands. She pulled the redhead to her side. "And this is my fiancé, Ron Weasley."

"Pleasure," Draco said as he shook Ron's hand. _Weasley, Weasley…why do I know that name?_

"My father works for your father," Ron said softly with a frown.

Draco smiled softly. _That's why…he must be that Arthur Weasley's kid. _"My sympathies to your father, then."

Ron laughed and visibly relaxed as he nodded.

"Can I get you all a drink?" He turned and waived down a waitress to order a round.

"Draco…I see you've made friends," Pansy said as she guided her husband to join the small group at the bar.

Draco introduced Hermione and Ron before motioning to Harry. "And this is Harry."

Harry had been looking at his feet, but he finally raised his head, just in time to see Blaise and Pansy exchange an "oh" look. He straightened up and cleared his throat. "Harry Potter," he said as he shook hands with them.

"So, are you all here to celebrate with us?" Blaise asked.

"Celebrate?" Harry looked from Blaise to Draco.

Draco ignored Harry's questioning look and started to pass out the drinks that the waitress had brought over.

"It's Draco's birthday today," Pansy told them as she took the martini from her best friend.

Draco glared at her.

Hermione raised her glass. "Well, happy birthday, Draco."

Blaise, Pansy and Ron joined her in raising their glasses.

"To…Draco," Harry said softly. "Happy birthday."

Draco stared him down for a moment, then nodded slightly and downed his drink.

The six of them stood in a semi-circle, chatting for a while about nothing in particular. A new round of drinks was ordered and conversation flowed easily through the small group.

After fighting his instinct to do so, Draco let his eyes settle on Harry's profile. The dark haired man was standing across from him, but had turned to talk to Pansy about some old black and white movie that they were both obsessed with.

_Why am I so angry with him? He wrote a letter, said goodbye…it could've been much worse._

Harry suddenly burst out laughing at something that Pansy said, his green eyes sparkling with amusement.

An irrational flash of jealousy jolted Draco from his silent perusal, but he quickly shook it off and turned to Hermione, hoping to distract himself.

Hermione was looking at him, her eyes shining knowingly as a small smile crept onto her pretty face.

He took a step back and frowned down at her. "What?"

"You're him, aren't you?"

"I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about."

She moved closer to him. "You're _him_. The 'devastatingly handsome blond who-"

"Don't finish that sentence," he interrupted, his face flushing a deep pink.

Hermione threw her head back and laughed.

Draco raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat. "He really called me that?"

She nodded. "He gave us way too many details about that night." Her face softened as she looked at him. "He really did like you, you know."

He laughed bitterly and glanced at Harry. "Not enough, obviously." He turned to the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. He filled his glass then motioned to Hermione's empty glass. "Drink with me?"

She smiled and held out her glass. "How could I resist?"

He smiled as he filled her glass, then he set the bottle down and raised his glass to her.

"You trying to steal my girl, Malfoy?" Ron stepped up and slid an arm around Hermione's waist.

Draco grinned at Ron. "I could certainly do much worse than the lovely Miss Granger." He winked at her and clinked his glass against hers. He glanced over at Harry before sipping at his drink.

Harry was standing there with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, staring straight at him.

Draco fought back the fluttering in his chest. "Problem, Potter?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Harry's face flushed and he looked away.

"Draco," Hermione said as she gently took his arm. "Don't call him that. He doesn't like it."

"Oh? And why's that?" Draco hoped he sounded as casual as he had tried for.

"That's what that fucker Oliver calls him when he gets angry. Which is all the fucking time." Ron's face was flushed with anger and he was clutching his bottle so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Draco was shocked by the intensity of Ron's anger. _Things must be much worse than I thought. _"Who's Oliver?" he asked.

"Harry's boyfriend," Hermione said as she cast a nervous glance at her green eyed friend.

"_Ex_-boyfriend," Ron clarified.

Draco let out a breath that he didn't realize he had been holding.

"Yes, but for how long this time?" Hermione asked her fiancé. "You know they'll just end up back together." She sighed sadly. "They always do."

Draco took a long drink of his whiskey, glancing over the edge of his glass at Harry. He hoped if he stayed quiet Ron and Hermione would continue talking about Harry and his relationship with Oliver.

"I think a hospital stay was a bit more than enough for Harry to finally let go for good this time." Ron downed the rest of his beer and set the bottle on the counter.

Draco's eyebrows shot up in alarm. "Hospital stay?"

Hermione blushed and nudged Ron. "It was no big deal," she insisted.

"No big deal?" Ron exclaimed. "I think a fractured skull and three broken ribs is a pretty fucking big deal, Hermione."

"Yes, but if Harry says he fell down the stairs, who are we to not believe him?"

Draco's cheeks were flushed with rage. He bit his lip and looked back at Harry who was currently sitting at the bar, isolated from their small group. Draco ignored the frantic whispering from Hermione who was obviously lecturing Ron about not telling people about Harry's personal life.

Harry finished off his beer and slid the bottle a bit away before pulling out a cigarette and feeling around for a lighter.

"Excuse me," Draco said to Hermione as he slipped by her. He pulled out some matches and lit one, then cupped it behind his hand and raised it to Harry.

Harry muttered a soft "thanks" as he leaned forward to light his cigarette.

Draco shook out the match and dropped it into an ashtray.

The two men were silent as they looked each other over from head to toe, neither of them bothering to hide their obvious appreciation for the others body.

"I like your hair like that," Harry finally said as he propped his head on his hand and smiled at the blond.

Draco climbed up onto the barstool beside him, but sat backwards, leaning back on his elbows.

"You look older," Harry continued.

Draco smiled softly and looked over at him. "You look exactly the same as I remember."

"That's a good thing, yeah?" Harry gave him a small, hesitant smile.

Draco didn't answer. He just winked at him and turned to look at the dance floor.

He kept his eyes on the mass of people jumping and writhing in front of them, but he couldn't help being hyper-aware of Harry's presence beside him. Every time Harry shifted or sighed, Draco felt it like a punch to the gut. _Christ…he is so fucking beautiful._

Harry slid off his stool and took a few steps towards the crowded dance floor. He glanced over at his and Draco's friends who were now sitting at a small round table and were chatting happily amongst themselves. Then he turned back to Draco.

Draco raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" He shifted a bit in his seat, but made sure to keep eye contact.

Harry walked up to him and gently rested his hands on Draco's legs. "I want to dance with you," he said softly. He stepped closer so he was standing between the blond's knees.

Draco's heart pounded so hard that he thought he might pass out.

Harry's hands slid slowly up Draco's thighs and over his hips before coming to rest on his waist as he leaned in closer.

"Is there any particular reason why you're invading my personal space?" Draco said, though he made no effort to pull away.

Harry moved closer and shrugged. "You didn't have any complaints last time."

Draco forced himself to breathe. Harry was so close to him that he could feel his warm, whiskey scented breath on his face.

"Draco," Harry whispered.

Hearing Harry say his name like that finally sent him over the edge. He slid a hand up into that thick, silky hair that he had been dreaming of for months and fisting his hand in it, he pulled Harry's face closer to his. "Just because I want you doesn't mean that I don't hate you," he said, his mouth only inches from Harry's.

Harry licked his lips and nodded, his eyes set firmly on Draco's mouth. "I understand." He closed the remaining distance and claimed his lips in a scorching kiss.

Draco slid an arm around the smaller man's waist and pulled him tighter against him, deepening their kiss. He roughly bit down on Harry's lip and smiled to himself when the brunet gasped then moaned loudly and pushed his hips into him.

"Damn," Harry muttered as he pulled back, just enough to look up at Draco.

Draco smirked down at him. He kept one hand on Harry's slim waist while his other hand gently stroked the back of his neck. "Forgot how good I was, huh?"

"Never," Harry said in complete honesty. "Not a day goes by when I don't think of that night." His fingers were clutching at Draco's tight t-shirt, bunching up the material and exposing just a tiny bit of the blond's creamy white skin. Harry let his fingers brush against the smooth, silky flesh and leaned forward to kiss his neck.

"Then why did you leave?" Draco asked, his voice soft and breathy. He let his eyes close when he felt lips on his ear.

"I had to," Harry whispered, his breath blowing warm on Draco's face. "Can we stop talking and go somewhere where I can touch you like I want to without getting arrested?" He pulled back to look up into lust filled grey eyes.

Draco laughed softly. "I don't have a bed, but my office upstairs has a nice leather sofa that I can pound you into."

Harry smiled and pulled Draco to his feet. "Lead the way."

Draco glanced at their friends and saw Hermione smiling right at him. He smiled back and gave her a wink before dragging Harry up the stairs and through the door.

As soon as they reached the short hallway that led to the office, Harry grabbed Draco and pulled him against him, kissing him roughly, his hands eagerly sliding up the back of the blond's shirt to feel his skin.

For a moment, Draco was immersed in the pleasure of it. He had lost count of how many times he had dreamed of this mouth kissing him and these hands touching him and he had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that Harry was finally there.

"Draco," Harry whispered as his tongue traced a fiery path over the blond's long neck.

Draco groaned at the sound of his name and wondered how he had missed the fact that Harry hadn't said it the first time they were together. The sound of it in his ear and the vibrations of it against his skin were making him lightheaded and already tight pants were becoming uncomfortably tight.

They stumbled down the dim hallway, arms around each other, mouths pressed firmly together in a desperate kiss. Draco reached blindly for the doorknob and after a minute of fumbling, finally found it and threw the door open. He pulled back from Harry, grabbed him by the arm and hauled him into the office, kicking the door shut behind them.

Before he could catch his breath, Harry was already tugging him back against him and their mouths smashed together painfully, teeth clicking together and biting down on swollen lips. He guided the smaller man back towards the desk, lifting him up onto it once they reached their destination. Grabbing tightly to a fistful of dark hair, he pulled hard, forcing Harry's head back, his mouth sucking and licking at the smooth skin of his exposed neck.

Harry moaned as his legs came up around the blond's waist, his ankles locking together to pull him closer.

Draco groaned at the feel of Harry's erection grinding against his. No one had ever made him so hard before. Struck with a sudden need for more, he placed both hands on Harry's chest and pushed, forcing him onto his back. He shoved his shirt up and took a nipple in his mouth, biting and sucking as his shaking hands moved quickly to release the button and zipper of Harry's jeans. He yanked them down around his knees, followed quickly by the boy's red boxer briefs.

Draco's mouth watered and he licked his lips at the sight of Harry half dressed and hard, lying across his desk, his chest heaving as he stared up at him, waiting.

"Draco," Harry whispered. "Please touch me."

Draco groaned and leaned forward to take Harry's cock deep into his mouth. Thankful for his lack of a gag reflex, he swallowed him down, feeling him pressing into his throat.

Harry gasped and threw his head back, smacking it against the desk, though the pain never registered through the intense and sudden pleasure. He grabbed handfuls of Draco's hair, pulling sharply and forcing his head up and down, faster and harder as he pumped his hips. He raised his head from the desk so he could watch and he groaned deeply at the site of Draco's pink lips stretched around him, his hand wrapped around the base, stroking him firmly.

Draco loved how he tasted, how he smelled, the smoothness of his cock against his tongue. He opened his eyes and looked up to see Harry watching him, his mouth hanging slightly open and his emerald green eyes half lidded with passion.

Harry propped himself on an elbow so he could keep eye contact, his other hand moving to rest on the back of Draco's neck, cradling his head. He tried to stop bucking his hips, but as the suction increased and Draco's tongue and hand moved faster, he lost control of his body. "I'm…coming…I'm…"

Draco sucked harder and gripped tighter. He hummed softly and watched as Harry's eyes shut tight and he jerked, his hot, salty-sweet come spilling into his mouth and down his throat. Draco moaned at the taste of it, his tongue licking slow lines up and down before dipping into the slit, being sure to capture every last drop.

Harry fell back onto the desk with a bone weary sigh. His hips finally stilled and he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Draco's mouth and tongue moving slowly over him.

"That didn't take long, huh?" Draco stood and smiled down at him.

Harry groaned softly and smiled back at him as he stretched his arms up over his head. "Fuck…you're really good at that." He struggled a bit with weak limbs, but finally managed to sit up. Grabbing the front of Draco's shirt, he pulled him closer, kissing him softly and tasting himself on his tongue. He slowly slid his hands up under Draco's tight t-shirt, his fingers instinctively finding his nipples and stroking them. "I want you."

Draco sighed and let his head fall back as Harry's lips traveled over his throat. When the brunet began to pull at his shirt, he obediently raised his arms over his head to aide in its removal. Realizing that Harry still had his shirt on, Draco pulled it over the man's head, creating an even bigger mess of his already chaotic hair, and tossed it in the corner to join his own.

He took a slight step back and let his eyes roam over Harry's chest, his hands quickly following the same path. "You are so sexy. You have no idea how badly I wanted this to happen again." He moved back against him and kissed him hungrily.

Harry laughed. "I think I have a fairly good idea, actually."

Draco continued to kiss him, simultaneously reaching over to one of the desk drawers and opening it. He pulled out a bottle and set it on the desk next to Harry.

Harry glanced at the bottle and smirked. "So, I don't get to lay claim to christening your desk?"

"No." Draco ran his hands through Harry's hair then smiled as he leaned in to kiss him. His lips moved slowly across Harry's flushed cheek, over his jaw line and to his ear which he traced with his tongue.

"I want you," Harry said for the second time, his impatience starting to show. His hands gripped Draco's arse, pulling him against him as his lips and teeth ran over his shoulder, biting and sucking at his skin.

"You'll have me shortly," Draco promised, doing his best to hold back a laugh. "No need to rush."

Harry grunted in frustration and fell down onto his back in a huff.

Draco couldn't contain his laugh as he watched Harry pout. He leaned over, placing a hand at either side of Harry's head. "I love your mouth." He kissed him again.

"Draco…please…"

He shivered at the sound of his name coming from those soft, kiss swollen lips. _This will be my downfall._

"I need to feel you inside of me."

Draco groaned and closed his eyes, his fingers digging into the edges of the desk hard enough to make the wood creak under the strain. His mouth devoured Harry's, sucking, licking, biting…no matter what, he just couldn't get close enough.

Harry smiled a triumphant smile then reached between them to undo Draco's pants. Once the button and zipper were undone, he kicked off his own pants, which were still pooled around his ankles, and used his feet to push the material down over Draco's hips. He pulled back and reached out beside him to grab the bottle of lube, flipping open the cap.

Draco raised an eyebrow and gave him a smug smile. "A bit excited, are we?"

Harry smirked and his eyes fell to Draco's rock hard cock. "I'd say we are."

Draco growled softly and stepped back, grabbing Harry by the ankles and dragging him closer to the edge of the desk.

Harry poured some of the lube into his hand and looked up at Draco, keeping eye contact as he reached down to stroke him, coating him in the fluid.

Draco's breath caught at the feeling of a warm, slick hand around him. He grabbed the back of Harry's neck and pulled him in to a deep kiss while his other hand slid down between them to his cock, collecting some of the excess lube from the other's hand. He stepped back and pulled Harry with him, dragging him to his feet and motioning for him to turn around.

Following Draco's silent command, Harry turned his back to him. He pressed himself back against the blond, teasingly rubbing his arse against his erection.

Draco moaned at the friction and allowed it for a moment before placing both hands on Harry's hips and forcing them to be still. "Bend over." When Harry didn't immediately comply, he placed his hand on his back and pushed him down onto the desk. He breathed deeply, trying to keep control of himself as his fingers traced over the strong muscles of Harry's back and down to the soft curve of his arse. He used his foot to kick his feet further apart, then he leaned over and ran his tongue from the small of his back, all the way up his spine to his neck.

Harry trembled beneath him and let out a long, quiet moan as he pressed his forehead to the desk and closed his eyes.

Draco bit down gently on the back of his neck, holding him in place while a finger pushed its way inside.

The sudden breach of his body made Harry's entire body jerk, causing Draco's teeth to clamp down harder. He thrust his hips back, forcing the finger deeper and let out a soft hiss of pleasure.

Draco gently slid another finger inside and at the same time, brought his other hand around to begin slowly pumping Harry's cock.

Harry grunted and thrust against him. "Draco," he whimpered.

Draco's cock twitched at the deep, throaty sound that Harry made as he writhed against him. His jaw was beginning to ache so he gently removed his teeth and licked at the indentations he had left in the pale skin.

Harry turned his face to rest his cheek on the cool wood of the desk. He bit his lip and whimpered softly as he ground himself shamelessly against the fingers inside of him.

"You're beautiful like this," Draco said, then placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder.

"Shut up and fuck me."

He could barely remember letting go of Harry's cock or pulling his fingers from his body, but he was suddenly surrounded by the breathtaking heat and tightness that had haunted his dreams of late. He opened his mouth to cry out, but couldn't get a sound passed his lips. Aching for more, he had to hold himself back from pushing too deep, too fast.

Harry grunted and pushed back, allowing Draco's cock to slip in further. A low hissing sound escaped his lips as he exhaled slowly. "Don't stop," he choked out as Draco became still behind him.

"Just give me a minute." He was completely surrounded, buried to the hilt and the warm pressure that was squeezing him almost sent him over the edge. He closed his eyes and nuzzled the hair at the back of Harry's neck, breathing deeply and trying to pull himself back from early completion.

Harry groaned and thrust his hips back. "Damn it, Draco…move!"

At the sound of Harry's command, his hips snapped forward roughly, pushing the smaller man tighter against the desk and causing a low growl to escape his lips, the sound muffled as he buried his face into his shaking arms.

Draco held tight to his slim hips, watching the muscles in Harry's back flexing as he pushed his body back against him and mumbled incoherently to himself. He ran his hand up his side and over his shoulders, relishing in the feel of trembling muscles and skin slick with sweat. He pushed deeper, though he hadn't thought it was possible, and let out a quiet moan when Harry tightened around him. _There is no fucking way I'm letting go of this again._

Harry raised himself up onto his elbows and looked back over his shoulder, watching Draco's face as he moved inside him.

When their eyes made contact, Draco felt something in his chest tighten and he bent forward, pressing himself against Harry's back, suddenly desperate to have their bodies as close as possible. He kissed him, though the angle was awkward, and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him tighter to him.

He felt more than saw Harry's breathing hitch at the new position and he slowed his hips, tracing his tongue over the now bruised bite mark at his hairline. "You close?"

Harry nodded, but didn't make a sound other than his frantic breathing.

Draco brushed his lips over the brunet's neck as his thrusts gained momentum. His grip on his waist tightened into an almost painful hold.

Harry bit his lip and groaned as he groped for the hand that Draco had wrapped around him. He pried it from his waist and guided it to his cock, their fingers entwined as they stroked him together.

Draco kissed the back of his neck and straightened, moving his free hand to Harry's shoulder. He gripped it tight and pulled Harry back every time he thrust forward, slamming their bodies together.

Harry let out a loud gasp and he guided their hands faster over his leaking cock.

"I want you to say my name when you come," Draco whispered.

Harry whimpered and squeezed his fingers tighter around Draco's hand. "Draco…" He let out what sounded like a sob and pumped his cock faster. "Draco…Draco…Dra-" His voice caught in his throat and he came hard, his come spilling out over their hands and onto the desk.

"Harry," Draco muttered softly as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead into his neck. "Oh, _fuck_." His hips stilled and he shuddered convulsively on top of the smaller man as his orgasm rocked through him, stealing his breath. He leaned heavily against him, fearful that his legs would give out without the support.

Neither said a word as they struggled with their breathing and tried to gain control of their trembling bodies.

Harry was the first to move. With a deep breath, he slowly lifted his head and turned to look over his shoulder. "Incredible," he said softly, then pressed his lips to Draco's flushed cheek.

Draco nodded, but couldn't speak so he just kissed him back and buried his face in his hair. He sighed heavily and slowly pulled out. He put an arm around Harry's waist and guided him over to the couch where he collapsed onto it, pulling the smaller man into his arms.

Harry curled his body around him. His leg tucked between Draco's and an arm draped over his waist. He sighed contentedly and kissed Draco's chest, right over his heart.

Draco smiled a sleepy smile and stroked Harry's hair. "I'm glad you found me."

Harry gave him a dazzling smile and stretched up to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Me too."

*.*.*.*

- June 6th -

When Draco woke, he felt the warm silkiness of Harry's cheek against his skin. His smiled to himself, but did not yet open his eyes, fearful that it would all be a dream.

He was lying on his back and Harry was pressed tightly to him, his head rested on Draco's shoulder and their legs intertwined. His hand lay curled in a loose fist, right over the blond's heart.

_Oh, thank God he didn't leave!_

Draco sighed softly and let himself begin to drift back to sleep, pulling the other man just a bit closer, if that was even possible.

Just as he was about to fall into oblivion, Draco felt Harry stir briefly before becoming completely still. Even his breathing ceased. Harry's body tensed and he let out a sigh that was so quiet, Draco probably wouldn't have known about it had he not felt the heat of his breath blow softly against his skin. The dark haired man slowly and gently untangled himself from the blond's arms and legs and got to his feet, not making a single sound.

Draco debated whether or not to let Harry know that he was awake, but he finally decided to feign sleep and see what the other man would do.

Harry scratched at his perpetually messy hair as his squinting eyes darted around the dim room. He found his glasses on the desk and put them on before locating his discarded jeans and quickly pulling them up over his hips. He crept quietly through the office, gathering the rest of his possessions. He slipped on his ratty Converse, not bothering to tie them, and then pulled on the black shirt that reeked of smoke and whiskey.

Draco felt his heart thumping painfully against his ribs. He watched Harry through barely open eyes, but he could see well enough to know that he was being left behind once again.

Harry felt his pockets for his keys and wallet and once he knew he had everything, he stopped and stared down at the pale, naked man sleeping in front of him.

Draco tried to keep his breathing steady as Harry moved towards him. Though he was unsure as to why he was still playing this game, he continued to fake unconsciousness.

With another soft sigh, Harry sat down on the edge of the couch and gazed down at Draco's face. He reached out and tucked some hair behind his ear, though it didn't hold and the blond strands again fell over Draco's forehead.

Harry's hand trembled slightly as he stroked Draco's shoulder and neck. "You are so beautiful," he whispered. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the blond's shoulder.

Draco was sure that the frantic pounding of his heart would give him away, but Harry didn't seem to notice.

Harry took one of Draco's hands in his and held it tightly as he leaned in again. He gently pressed his mouth against the softest lips he had ever kissed, letting his lips linger for a long moment.

Draco's breath hitched and he felt the unfamiliar sting of tears in his eyes.

Harry finally pulled away, still holding Draco's hand in his. "Goodbye, Draco Malfoy," he whispered. He placed another kiss on Draco's forehead, then letting go of his hand, he stood and quickly moved towards the door.

"Don't," Draco softly said as he sat up.

Harry froze with his hand on the doorknob.

"Harry?" Draco stood, wrapping the throw he had been covered with around his bare shoulders.

Harry finally turned back to him, though he wouldn't look him in the eye. "What?"

Draco tried to ignore the coldness in Harry's voice and instead concentrated solely on the sweet, loving goodbye the boy had given him when he thought no one was aware. "Where are you going?"

"Home," Harry said as he turned for the door again.

Draco grabbed his jeans and pulled them on. "Why are you running away…again?"

Harry snorted as he pulled the door open and walked out into the hallway. "I'm not running away, Draco. I'm just leaving. Don't be so bloody melodramatic."

"You're a fucking coward," Draco spat at him as he followed him down the stairs and out into the empty club.

Harry spun around to face him. "A coward? You think so?" His eyes were narrowed and angry and his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides.

"I know so," Draco insisted. _I can't fucking believe he's doing this again! _He folded his arms over his bare chest and glared hatefully at the smaller man. "You know, I woke up the minute you stirred in my arms." He took a few steps closer. "I heard every word you said…" He moved so close that they were nearly touching and he could feel the heat radiating from Harry's body. He lowered his voice into an almost whisper. "I felt every touch…every kiss."

Harry's face softened as he looked into stormy grey eyes. "I was…I was saying goodbye."

Draco nodded slightly. "Yes, I know. But I asked you 'why'?"

Harry swallowed heavily as he shook his head. "I just…have to."

Draco held eye contact as he took Harry's hand. "But _why_?"

"Why does it matter?" Harry asked as his shoulders slumped and he hung his head. "You told me yesterday that you hate me. It shouldn't matter to you if I stay or not."

"Do you make a habit of sleeping with people that you hate?" 

Harry looked up at him with his brow furrowed in confusion. "What? Of course I don't."

"Do you think _I _do?"

Harry pulled away and flung both hands in the air dramatically. "How the bloody hell would I know?" he asked, frustration in his voice. "I don't even know you!"

Draco shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the bar. "That's not my fault."

Harry glared at him. "But it's _mine_?"

Draco gave him a long, considering look before nodding. "You are the one who keeps leaving."

Harry just stared at him for a long moment. His eyes darted over Draco's naked chest, lingering on the small bite marks on his left shoulder.

Draco's eyes followed Harry's to see the purplish bruises that Harry had left earlier that night. His heartbeat spiked, but he managed to contain his pleasure at being marked once again by the man in front of him. He raised an eyebrow and looked up at the dark haired man. "Must you continually mar my flawless skin?"

Harry couldn't help but chuckle. But as soon as he realized what he was doing, he forced it back and cleared his throat.

Draco laughed bitterly. "Why do you fight _everything_ that you feel? What is so wrong about laughing when you think something is funny? Surely if you can share a bed with me, you can share a joke as well. So why don't you, for once, just stop fighting yourself. Be who you are, Harry…there's nothing wrong with it."

Harry scowled at him. "Stop talking like you know me."

"Stop trying to fool yourself into believing that I don't."

They stared at each other in silence, neither man wanting to be the first to break down.

Draco decided to have some mercy on Harry and broke the silence. "Are you going back to him again?"

Harry flinched noticeably. "I don't really see how that's your business."

"Well, you're wrong." Draco lit a cigarette and held out the pack to Harry who took one without a word. "Why do you keep going back to him if he hurts you?"

Harry stilled for a moment, then exhaled heavily. "That's what you think? That he hurts me?"

Draco shrugged. "Should I think differently?"

"He doesn't," Harry said, his voice icy and hard. "Things just…happen when we're together. It's never on purpose."

Draco let out a loud laugh. "If you say so."

"You don't know him, so don't you dare judge him!" Harry snapped.

Draco held up his hands in mock surrender and raised his eyebrows. "Care to explain how one ends up with a fractured skull and ribs by _mistake_?"

Harry's cheeks flooded with color and he averted his eyes. "I fell down the stairs."

"Ron and Hermione seem to think-"

"Well, they weren't there!" Harry shouted. "And neither were you, so shut your fucking mouth Malfoy."

Draco's eyes narrowed, more at the use of his last name then at the tone of Harry's voice. "So, you are going back." He shook his head slowly, then motioned to the door. "Well…by all means."

Harry just looked at him for a long while, his green eyes swirling with emotion, then he tossed his half smoked cigarette on the floor and stomped it out. He turned for the door.

In one last act of desperation, Draco grabbed him roughly by the elbow and spun him back into his arms. He gripped the smaller man's hair in his fist and crushed their mouths together in a brutal kiss. He pushed Harry up against the bar and nibbled at his lower lip, before sliding his tongue into his mouth, trying to force every ounce of passion he could muster onto the other man. He smirked into the kiss when he heard Harry moan and felt him clutching at his naked shoulders. Draco suddenly pulled away and gave Harry a push. "If you walk out that door…don't even think of coming back here again. You will no longer be welcome."

Harry struggled to get his breath back, but nodded once. He opened his mouth to say something, but he blushed and changed his mind. He tried to smile at Draco, then turned and hurried out the door.

Draco stood in the middle of the empty club and stared at the door Harry had just vanished through. "God damn it," he whispered as he ran his hands over his face. He kicked the stool next to him, sending it flying across the tiled floor, then he headed back upstairs to get dressed.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_Author's Note: Please let me know what you think. Thanks again for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Oops…I posted this and saw that I uploaded the wrong version…sorry all! This is the correct version…hopefully you didn't already start reading._

_I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to all your wonderful reviews this time around, just please know that they were all read and greatly appreciated! I'm a bit nervous about this chapter for some reason, so, let me know what you think._

_Also, I wasn't planning on posting again until tomorrow at the earliest, but I loved King of All Loser's review so much that I decided to post earlier. So, KoaL, this is for you. __ Hope it doesn't disappoint!_

Chapter Three

July 30th

Draco and Pansy were strolling slowly down the street, hand in hand, both of them immensely enjoying the summer weather.

The petit blonde woman occasionally squeezed her friend's hand and gave him pitying looks out of the corner of her eye. "Why do you let this one get to you so much?"

Draco stared at the ground as he shuffled his feet. He managed a one shoulder shrug and a heavy sigh.

Pansy let go of his hand and slipped her arm through his, holding it tightly. "Perhaps you should give Theo a call. I'm sure he would be happy to help you get your mind off Harry."

Draco made a face of disgust. "I'm not that desperate, Pans."

She laughed and smacked his arm. "He isn't that bad."

"Believe me, if you had ever been slobbered on by that boy, you would never think to push him on _anyone_." He shuddered overdramatically.

Pansy laughed again and tugged his arm to pull him in another direction. "I want ice cream."

Draco rolled his eyes, but followed her lead to the ice cream parlor across the street. "I'm not eating that. It's bad for you."

"They have frozen yogurt, too." She continued dragging him into the small shop.

They ordered their desserts – a sundae for Pansy and a small cup of strawberry yogurt for Draco – and sat down outside on the patio.

Pansy watched her moody friend as he picked at his yogurt. "Theo would marry you if you asked." 

Draco sighed softly and looked up at her with a sad smile. "I don't love him. I never have and I highly doubt I ever will. That would be a bit unfair, yeah?"

She nodded. "But at least I wouldn't worry about you all the time."

He laughed softly. "There's nothing to worry about." He squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "I'm only twenty four, Pans…it's not time to worry yet."

"But Harry-"

"Don't," he interrupted. "Harry isn't…he doesn't…he has nothing to do with my mood."

She gave him a disbelieving look.

"It's true!" he insisted, somewhat offended that his best friend didn't believe him. _She would probably be more apt to believe you if you could spit out a sentence without stuttering all over yourself like a love sick fool. _He sighed heavily. "Alright, fine…he's the one that got the ball rolling on the whole 'I don't want to be alone forever' thing, but _that's all_. If anything, I should thank him for putting a stop to all the one night stands."

Pansy laughed softly and sat back in her chair to finish her sundae. "You enjoyed the one night stands."

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"Pansy! Draco!"

The two blonds turned to see Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley walking across the street. Hermione was waving at them and dragging Ron by the hand behind her.

"He's like twice as tall as she is and he can still hardly keep up," Draco laughed as he waved at Harry's friends. "I can't imagine being surrounded by that…pep everyday."

Pansy smacked his arm. "I think she's fantastic." She turned and flashed a brilliant smile at the energetic girl hurrying their way. "Hello, darling! How wonderful to see you again." She stood and pulled Hermione into a quick hug.

"You too." Hermione smiled at her.

"Hello, Pansy," Ron said as he set Hermione's bags down.

She smiled at him. "Hello, Ron."

Draco stood and extended a hand to the redhead. "Ron," he said with a nod and a smile.

Ron shook his hand and returned the greeting.

Hermione slid around Ron and gave Draco a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. "He's here…with Oliver," she whispered before pulling away from him.

Draco froze for a split second before casually glancing around and taking his seat again. No one, except Hermione, even noticed his unease.

"So, what did you buy?" Pansy asked as she eyed the brown bag Ron had set on the table.

Hermione and Pansy started an in depth discussion on the books Hermione had purchased, leaving the men to talk amongst themselves.

Ron leaned back in his seat, balancing it on two legs, as he looked Draco over from head to toe.

Draco glanced around again, but his eyes narrowed when they fell on Ron. He raised an eyebrow at the redhead. "Yes?"

"I can see why he likes you," Ron said with a slight nod.

Draco shifted nervously in his seat. "Stop looking at me."

Ron continued as if Draco hadn't spoken. "You're not his usual type…which is good. You're charming enough, I suppose and you've got style, money and a sense of humor. Oh, and you've got a nice head of hair."

Draco gave him a look. "Are you sure _you_ aren't trying to get in my pants, Weasley?"

Ron blushed and looked to make sure the girls were still occupied. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and lowered his voice. "I want him away from Oliver."

Draco sighed softly and mirrored Ron's position. "Don't know that I can be much help there, mate. Besides…he's a grown man. He'll make his own decisions."

"Yeah…_bad_ decisions," Ron mumbled as he rested his head in his hands.

Draco laughed softly and patted Ron's shoulder.

"What's going on here?"

Ron looked up over Draco's shoulder and forced a smile.

Draco could feel Harry's presence behind him, but he didn't turn to face him. "Hello, Potter," he said, no emotion in his voice.

Harry was silent for a moment, but Draco could feel those brilliant emerald eyes burning into the back of his head. "Malfoy," he finally said, though he sounded incredibly nervous.

Draco took the dark sunglasses from his head, where they had been perched in order to keep his hair out of his face, and put them on as he stood. He smoothed down his dark blue polo shirt and checked for his wallet and keys. He knew Harry was watching his every move, but he was determined not to look at him. "Pansy love…are you ready to go?"

Pansy looked up at him with a pout. "But I'm talking to Hermione," she complained.

Draco glared at her, which of course she couldn't see due to his dark glasses.

"Why are you hanging out with my friends, Malfoy?" Harry said, his voice a bit sharp.

Draco cocked an eyebrow and turned to face the smaller man. "_Excuse_ me?" he said, his jaw clenched tightly. _I'll be damned if this little shit will tell me who I can be friends with. _

"Harry, you're being rude," Hermione said softly.

Draco delighted in the fact that he could see the many emotions running through Harry's eyes, but that Harry couldn't see the anger and hurt in his own.

"You're only doing this because I don't want to date you." Harry folded his arms over his chest and glared at Draco.

Draco let out a mirthless laugh and ignored the sharp pain in his chest at Harry's statement. He forced a smirk onto his face. "What are you, five?"

"Why else would you be here?"

"Give your friends some credit, Potter. Is it so very hard to believe that I enjoy their company?" 

Harry flushed and shifted nervously. "I know you're doing this because of me." He sounded less sure of his convictions.

"Oh, get over yourself, Potter," Draco growled out, his anger finally overwhelming him. "It isn't like this city is in short supply of men like you. You don't have an original bone in your scrawny body and I already know that I can do better than you and _have_ done better dozens, if not hundreds, of times. So why don't you get off that bloody pedestal you've put yourself on and quit imagining that people feel more for you than they do? After all, sometimes a fuck is just a fuck." _Ouch…a tad bitter are we?_

Harry flushed bright red and couldn't keep the look of hurt from his face.

"Draco," Pansy said, her voice heavy with shock and disappointment.

But he was on a roll. "Don't 'Draco' me, Pans," he snapped, never taking his eyes from Harry's face. "He thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants without giving a damn how it affects other people. Well, I think it's time everyone stop coddling little Harry and start expecting him to act like a fucking adult!"

Ron, Hermione and Pansy were silent as they looked back and forth at the two angry men.

"Stay away from my friends," Harry said, his voice low and rough.

Draco laughed softly. "They came over here, Potter. Maybe you should tell them to stay away from me. Then maybe I'll get my wish of never having to see your face again." _Yep…that was mature. _He pushed in his chair hard, slamming it into the table. "Hermione." He nodded at her and turned to Pansy. "I'm going home. Phone me later." He kissed the top of her head.

"Draco, don't go," Pansy said as she reached for his hand.

He squeezed her hand and let go, ignoring her pleas. He turned and nodded at Ron. "Later, Weasley." He extended his hand, which Ron took.

"Harry, stop this," Hermione said as she stood. "You're being a jerk."

Harry snorted. "Don't defend the enemy, 'Mione."

"How did he become the enemy?" Ron asked.

Draco spun around to face Harry. "Yes, Potter, how exactly did I become so _vile_ in your eyes?" He folded his arms over his chest and waited to hear why Harry suddenly hated him with such passion. He couldn't believe how badly it hurt.

Harry's eyes were glued to Draco's face. "Take those stupid glasses off."

Draco hesitated and tried to push away the pain and anger that he knew were written all over his face. He took the glasses and pushed them up onto his head. He swallowed heavily as his grey eyes met green and a jolt of electricity shot up his spine. "Better?"

Harry breathed deeply and gave a jerky nod.

"So are you going to tell me why you hate me so much or am I going to have to guess?"

"He probably hates you because you're a spoiled rotten little git who thinks he's better than everyone else because his daddy has money."

Draco was paralyzed with anger. _No one talks about my family! _He spun around to face the unfamiliar voice behind him.

He found himself face to face with a rather attractive man that he instantly knew to be Oliver. They were the same height and build, but this boy had light brown hair and dark brown eyes. His lip was curled in disgust as he looked at Draco.

Draco's blood was pounding in his ears as he stepped closer to this man that he hated more than was probably healthy. "You don't know _anything_ about my family," he said between clenched teeth.

Pansy was now standing right behind Draco and she tried to take his arm.

Draco pulled away. "Pansy," he warned.

She stepped back.

Harry went to Oliver's side and slid his hand into his. "Come on, baby. Let's go home."

"Harry, don't." Oliver pulled away from the smaller man, but didn't take his eyes from Draco's. "I don't like how he was talking to you."

Draco rolled his eyes and laughed.

"He isn't worth your time or mine," Harry said as he took Oliver's wrist in his hand.

Draco glared at Harry, hoping the anger would push away the dropping feeling in his stomach. Though he highly suspected that the hurt he felt was too deep to cover.

Harry glanced at him, but looked away immediately.

Hermione stepped up to the two men and cleared her throat. "Boys, I don't think-"

"Shut the hell up, Granger," Oliver snapped. "This is between me and him. So, for once why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

"Watch it, Wood," Ron growled as he put an arm around his fiancé.

Draco took a step closer to Harry's boyfriend. "Do not talk to her that way."

Oliver gave him an evil smile as he stepped so close, they were almost touching. "I'll talk to her however the fuck I want. You should stop sticking that pointy nose of yours in places it doesn't belong."

Draco's fist was clenched and it took all his will power not to swing.

"Draco…let's go home please," Pansy begged him from where she stood aside with Ron and Hermione.

Draco glanced over at Harry and saw the embarrassment that was overwhelming him, making him appear smaller than he already was. _God damn you, Harry Potter._ He sighed and took a step back from Oliver. "Come on, Pans." He held his hand out to her.

She grabbed his hand in both of hers and let him lead her away.

"You fucking wanker! Don't you walk away from me!" Oliver yelled after him.

Pansy felt Draco tense and she held tighter. "Ignore him."

Draco's face was burning in anger…and not just at Oliver. _I'm not worth his time? Well fuck him then! _

Oliver was following closely behind them, his steps hurried to keep up. "Yeah, go run to your prick of a father and your whore of a mother, you bloody useless piece of garbage."

Draco spun around so fast that he almost knocked Pansy to the ground.

"No, don't," she begged.

Draco pulled from her grip and rushed at Oliver. "Don't you _ever_ talk about my mother!" he spit out

as he pulled his arm back to hit the smug brunette.

Oliver laughed and easily blocked Draco's attempt at a punch. He elbowed the blond in the face, then grabbed him by the neck and shoved him hard against the wall.

Draco groaned when his head hit the brick wall. His vision went a bit fuzzy and he had to hold back the urge to be sick. After a moment his head cleared, but he began to panic when he realized that he couldn't take a breath.

"Oliver, stop!" Harry yelled as he hurried to them and grabbed his boyfriend's arm.

Oliver roughly pushed Harry away and tightened his grip on Draco's neck.

"Stop!" Pansy yelled as she tried to pull away from Hermione who was holding her back. "He can't breathe! Stop it!"

Draco struggled for breath and clawed at the calloused hand that was crushing his windpipe. His eyes darted around frantically and eventually rested on Harry, silently pleading with him to do something.

Harry's face was pale white with terror as he stared at his boyfriend and his (sometimes) lover.

"Damn it, Harry!" Pansy yelled between sobs. "Do something!"

Ron pushed Harry aside and made his way over to Draco and Oliver. He grabbed Oliver's arm and tried to pull it back. "Let him go," he said, his voice angry and cold. "Now!"

Oliver kicked back, hitting Ron in the shin and causing him to stumble. "Not your fight, Weasley, so get the fuck away!"

"Oliver," Ron warned once he regained his balance.

Oliver glared at Ron, but suddenly howled in pain and dropped Draco to the ground. He looked down at the bleeding gashes that ran down his forearm, courtesy of Pansy's fingernails.

Pansy roughly pushed him away and stood between her friend and his attacker, almost daring him to hit her.

Draco slumped against the wall, coughing and gasping for breath.

"Get out of here before I call the police!" Pansy screamed as she crouched beside her friend and pulled him into her arms.

Hermione was standing to the side with her hands over her mouth, staring at the two blond's on the ground.

"I will kill you, you bitch!" Oliver yelled, still clutching at his bleeding arm.

"Come on," Harry said as he led his furious boyfriend away.

"Oh my God." Hermione crouched in front of Draco and Pansy. "Are you alright?" She dug through her bag until she found a few clean tissues which she handed to him.

Draco pressed them to his bleeding lower lip and winced. "I've never been hit in the face before."

Pansy was holding his hand so tightly that he was starting to lose feeling, but he didn't complain.

"I'm so sorry, mate. I should've done something as soon as I realized how angry he was," Ron said as he crouched next to his fiancé. "He's never been easy to calm down."

Draco gave him a shrug. "Not your fault that Harry is dating a psychopath."

Pansy buried her face in his shoulder as she clung to him. "How's your head?"

"I'm okay, love," he insisted. He turned and kissed her temple as he raised a hand to check the bump on the back of his head. Luckily it didn't appear to be bleeding and as far as he could tell, he wasn't showing any signs of concussion.

Pansy held tighter. "I wish Blaise had been here."

Draco gently pulled away and climbed to his feet with Ron's help. "It's a good thing he's not or Oliver would have been a dead man and you'd be planning weekend visits to the local prison." He put his arm around his trembling friend and led her back to the table.

"I hate that fucker," Ron said softly as he and Hermione followed them.

The four of them sat in silence for a few minutes, no one really sure what to say and all of them a bit shocked that what had just happened had happened.

"He won't let us throw a party for Harry's birthday," Hermione finally said as she watched Draco dab at his lip with a tissue. "He's so controlling and…and…"

"Mean," Ron said.

She nodded.

"When's his birthday?" Draco asked.

"Tomorrow." Ron sighed heavily and sat back in his chair, putting his arm around Hermione's shoulder. "But they've been together for two months now. Since the day after your birthday, Draco. They're due for a breakup soon."

"Well, I'm sorry to say that Harry is an idiot for going back to him again and again." Draco's lip had finally stopped bleeding so he crumpled up the used tissues. "It's hard to feel bad for someone who continues to put himself in the same situation over and over again."

"He doesn't know any better," Hermione said in defense of her friend. "Oliver was the first guy he was ever with and, well…there's only ever been him." She blushed as she looked at Draco. "Well… him and…"

"Me," Draco said softly. _Huh…I never would have guessed that._

She nodded.

"We were shocked when he told us about you," Ron said. "And he didn't even admit to it until a month after it happened. We got drunk one night and it all came pouring out. And once he started talking, he couldn't stop himself."

Hermione smiled sadly. "I had never seen him as happy as he was when he talked about that night."

"Then why does he go back to him every time? I've tried to offer him more. I've tried to get him to stay with me." Draco stared down at his hands.

"I think he punishes himself by going back," Hermione said. "Like he doesn't think he should be happy. He gets a small taste of it whenever he's with you and he immediately runs back to Oliver to remind himself that he has no right to be happy."

"That's ridiculous," Draco said, eyes wide with disbelief._ Does make a weird sort of sense, though._

Hermione shrugged. "He hasn't had an easy life."

They fell into an awkward silence before Pansy composed herself and sat up straight. "Enough of this Harry Potter pity party," she said with a smile. She nudged Draco. "We've made two new friends from the whole mess and I say we take advantage of it."

Draco raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you on about?"

"I want to shop."

"Oh, me too!" Hermione perked up.

Ron rolled his eyes and looked at Draco. "I'm up for it if you are."

Draco laughed and shrugged. "Lets go then." He stood and he and Ron followed the girls around for the rest of the afternoon.

*.*.*.*

- July 31st -

"You pull it off well," Blaise said with a smirk.

Draco glared at him and touched his tender and swollen lip. "I don't look like some common thug?"

Blaise laughed and pulled himself up onto the edge of the desk. "You're wearing Armani. You couldn't possibly be a thug. And you know there's nothing 'common' about you."

Draco leaned closer to the mirror. He had a bit of bruising developing below the nasty gash on his split lower lip. His entire lip was puffy and red.

"Looks kind of sexy," Blaise finally said.

Draco laughed and turned to face his best friend. "Thought we got rid of those tendencies so you could marry Pansy."

Blaise blushed and looked down at his hands. "I love her with everything that I am," he said softly. "But there will never be a day that I don't look at you and realize how beautiful you are."

Draco looked at his friend with a soft smile. He went over to him and took his face in both of his hands. "I love you, you know that?"

Blaise smiled a bit and nodded.

"Good." Draco pressed a soft kiss to his best friend's lips. "Now, let's get out of here."

The two friends shut off the light and locked up the empty club.

"What time is it?" Draco asked as they headed towards their cars.

"Almost four," Blaise said. "Pansy's going to kill me. I told her I'd try to be home by two."

"She knows how it goes. She'll just…" Draco slowed until he was standing still, staring at his car.

"Dray?" Blaise turned back to his friend, then followed his stare to the blond's car.

Harry was sitting on the hood with his elbows on his knees, smoking a cigarette and staring at the ground.

Draco schooled his features and adjusted his shirt as he continued walking Blaise to his car.

"Dray?"

"Go," Draco said softly. "I'll be fine."

Blaise gave him a look, but finally agreed and got into his car.

Draco stood motionless next to Blaise's car and watched Harry carefully. The smaller man appeared to be completely lost in thought. His cigarette had burned halfway down and it didn't look like he had taken a single hit.

Blaise started his car and turned on his headlights, flooding Harry in light.

Harry looked up and shielded his face from the light, his eyes falling on Draco as the blond made his way towards him. Harry slid off the car and tossed his cigarette away. "Draco," he said softly.

Draco ignored him and went around to the driver's side to open the door.

Harry hurried over to him and pushed the door closed. He pressed his back to it so Draco couldn't open it. "Draco…please…"

"Move, Potter."

"No."

Draco glared at him.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Harry tried to make eye contact but Draco refused.

"I distinctly recall telling you that you were no longer welcome here."

Harry shrugged. "You said nothing of the parking lot."

Draco laughed a bitter laugh. "Get it through your thick head, Potter. I don't want to see you." He turned to go back to the building and when he did, the light from the street lamp hit his skin, showing off the bruises on his pale neck.

"Jesus," Harry whispered as he grabbed the blond's arm. He reached out and gently touched the black and purple marks.

Draco growled softly as he pushed Harry's hand away. "Don't touch me."

Harry swallowed hard and nodded. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Draco snorted softly. "Sorry? You're fucking _sorry? _About what exactly? That you let your abusive fuck of a boyfriend talk to your friends like they're below him? Or are you sorry that you let him talk shit about my family? Or that you told him that I wasn't worth your time? Or that you just stood there while he tried to choke me to death in front of my best friend and yours? What exactly are you sorry about, Potter? Which fucking part?" He had tried to keep calm, but was almost embarrassed to find that he was shouting at the end.

Harry, who had backed away during Draco's rant, took a step forward. "All of it," he said in a small voice. He looked at Draco's split lip and he frowned and lowered his eyes, only to have them settle again on the faint bruises that covered the blond's neck. Harry's eyes filled with tears. "I didn't know he would do that."

"You didn't _know_?" Draco yelled.

Harry flinched and looked away.

"Get out of my way." He tried to push Harry away from the car.

"I left him," Harry said, his voice sounding desperate. "Please, Draco…I didn't want him to hurt you and I was so afraid of what he was going to do and I didn't…I just…I froze." He wiped at his tears then grabbed Draco's hand. "Please…it's my birthday today. I don't want to be alone."

Draco roughly pulled his hand away. "So, that's what this is about. You don't want to be alone on your birthday." It wasn't a question.

"That's not all," Harry insisted. "I wanted to be with you."

"Why?"

"I haven't felt safe in a very long time. But I feel safe when I'm with you."

Draco looked down into teary green eyes and was shocked to see how open and hopeful they looked. _How could he possibly feel safe with me? I can't protect him. I can't even protect myself._

Harry was crying softly as he slowly moved closer to the blond. "Draco…can you just…" He cautiously slid his arms around Draco's slim waist and buried his face in his chest. When he realized that he wasn't being pulled closer, his tears came harder. "I know you hate me, but please… hold me."

Draco stood still for a long time, his arms at his sides, not really holding Harry, but not stopping him from holding on.

Harry turned his face up into Draco's neck. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss to the bruises on his throat. "I am so sorry. Please forgive me." He kissed him again. "I can't take it. Everyone in the entire world could hate me and I'd be fine…but not you." He let out a shaky breath which blew across the blond's ear. "Please, _please_ forgive me."

Draco's hands were shaking as he let out a heavy sigh and finally wrapped his arms around Harry.

Harry let out a stuttering breath as he choked back a sob.

Draco swallowed hard. Harry's tears felt like fire on his skin. He stroked his thick, dark hair and held him tighter. "It's alright," he finally said, then he kissed Harry's head.

Harry clung tighter to him. "Thank you," he whispered into his neck. He sighed and his body began to relax as Draco continued to stroke his hair.

Draco was surprised to feel his own eyes tearing up. _Damn it! Stop being a fucking baby! Malfoy's don't cry!_ He cleared his throat and stepped back from Harry's embrace.

Harry stared up at him with sad eyes.

Draco was pretty sure that his own eyes looked the same. "What now?" he asked with a slight shrug.

Harry shoved his hands into his pockets and gave a shrug of his own. "We could go get some tea," he suggested. "Or…we can go back inside." He motioned to the club.

Draco shook his head. "No…I don't think I'm ready to be alone with you again."

Harry looked away, hurt radiating off of him, but nodded in agreement. "I…I understand."

They stood in silence for a while, though it wasn't exactly uncomfortable.

Draco suddenly sighed.

Harry looked up at him, waiting for him to speak.

"When you told him…" Draco paused and cleared his dry throat, trying to rid his voice of any emotion. "When you said that I wasn't worth your time…"

Harry bit his lip and stepped closer.

Draco held up a hand. "No, let me finish."

Harry nodded and reluctantly stepped back.

"It's been a very long time since I've allowed someone to hurt me," Draco told him. "And my God, Harry… that _really_ fucking hurt."

Harry looked away and nodded.

"Oliver could have done anything to me and it wouldn't have compared to the pain of knowing that I…that I don't matter to you."

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he looked back at Draco. "No," he said softly. "You matter, Draco. You matter _so much_. You have to believe that." He reached out and took the blond's hand in his.

Draco gave him a small, sad smile. "Can you really blame me for questioning it?"

Harry couldn't speak, so he just shook his head.

They fell into another silence.

Draco eventually let go of Harry's hand and motioned to the car.

They got in and situated before Harry finally spoke. "Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure," Draco admitted. "Do you want me to take you to Ron and Hermione's house?"

Harry slouched down in his seat. "They're angry with me at the moment. Don't think they'd be all that thrilled with me waking them at four a.m."

"How about your parents?"

Harry just shook his head and stared down at his hands.

Draco sighed softly and pulled out of the lot. "My flat then," he said softly.

"Thank you," Harry said, his voice hardly a whisper.

"Don't mention it."

They drove in silence for awhile before Draco's phone started vibrating against his hip. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID to see Blaise & Pansy on the screen. He flipped it open. "Yes?"

"Draco, have you heard from Harry?" Pansy asked, her voice dripping with concern.

"Yes, he's here with me now. Why?" 

She breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "Hermione called and said that Oliver called her in a rage because Harry ran out on him during a huge fight. She's worried sick about him."

"I'll have him call her."

"Thank you. Oh…Blaise is home so I'm hanging up now. I love you, darling."

"You too. Night." He turned the phone off and handed it to Harry. "Call Hermione. She's worried sick. And tell her that I'm bringing you over there right now."

Harry's face fell a little at hearing that they would not be going to Draco's flat. But he nodded and called her anyway.

It was almost 4:30 when Draco pulled the car up in front of the small cottage that Ron and Hermione owned together.

"This place is adorable," Draco said as he got out of the car and stretched.

The front door flew open and Hermione came flying down the steps in her pajamas and slippers. She threw her arms around Harry's neck and hugged him tightly.

"Hermione," Harry gasped. "I can't breathe."

Draco laughed softly. _She's so much like Pansy, it's scary._

They made their way inside and sat down around the fire, each with a cup of tea.

"You can stay as long as you need to," Hermione told Harry as she gently rubbed his knee. "Ron will be so glad for the company."

"Where is he?" Draco asked.

"Ron could sleep through a hurricane," Hermione laughed softly. She looked at Harry for a moment and became completely serious again. "He worries…so I didn't want to wake him. He would've just paced a hole through the carpet." She tried to smile again, but it was full of sadness.

Draco sipped his tea as he watched Harry. The smaller man hadn't said a word, nor had he touched his tea since they sat down together. He just stared at his hands as he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt.

Hermione suddenly stood. "Since I'm up, I might as well make breakfast." She turned to Harry. "Well birthday boy, what would you like?"

Harry looked up at her and faked a smile. "Anything is good, thanks."

A half hour later, Harry and Draco were sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Hermione to return with Ron.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked him.

Harry nodded, but said nothing.

Draco reached across the table and touched his hand. "What's wrong?"

Harry looked up at him. He stared into Draco's eyes for a long time before opening his mouth to speak. "It's just-"

"Happy birthday!" Ron cried as he entered the kitchen behind Harry.

Harry flinched and jerked his hand away from Draco, but he schooled his features and turned to his friend with a smile. "Why are you so happy this morning? It's only 5:30."

"And thanks to you, I'm getting a big fancy breakfast instead of my normal oatmeal and toast." Ron smiled and sat down next to Harry. He looked over at Hermione. "Not that your breakfasts aren't always great. You make the best oatmeal and toast I've ever had."

"Thank you, love." Hermione leaned over to kiss his head then began to serve the food.

There were eggs, bacon, toast, fresh fruit and hash browns. The three boys dug in as Hermione sat back and watched them and occasionally picked at slices of melon and strawberries.

"This is perfect, 'Mione," Harry said through a mouth full of eggs.

Draco frowned at his lack of manners. "You are disgusting."

Hermione snorted into her coffee.

Harry finished chewing and swallowed. He glared at Draco playfully, then turned to his friends and smiled.

When they were finished eating, Draco and Harry shooed Hermione away and cleaned up the kitchen while she and Ron got ready for work.

"I should go," Draco said once the last dish was dried.

Hermione grabbed her bag and keys. "I'll walk out with you."

"Oh…okay," Harry said softly. Breakfast had finally put a smile on his face, but that smile now vanished.

Ron grabbed his keys. "Happy birthday, mate." He gave Harry a one armed hug and a thump on the back, said goodbye to Draco and headed outside.

Hermione watched as Harry and Draco stood about a foot apart in the kitchen and just stared at each other. "I'm late…I should go," she lied. She wished Harry a happy birthday and kissed both of their cheeks before running out the door.

Draco smiled as he watched her hurry away. He looked back at Harry. "This was nice," he said as he stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.

Harry nodded against his shoulder. "You don't have to leave." His fingers held tightly to the back of Draco's shirt.

Draco pulled back just enough to look down at him. "But I should," he said softly. He brushed a few strands from those green eyes that he loved so much. _Love? Watch yourself, Malfoy._

"But you don't _have to_," Harry said again, his lips curling slowly into a smile.

Draco couldn't help but smile back. "No…I don't _have to_," he admitted as he rested his forehead against Harry's.

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. "Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

Draco hesitated briefly before nodding once. He inwardly rolled his eyes at himself. _Weakling! Way to give in. You couldn't even last a fucking day? _ But his thoughts were silenced by the feel of Harry's hands moving over him.

Harry slid his hands back to Draco's shoulders then brought them up to cup his face. His eyes fell on the cut and bruise on his lower lip. He leaned forward and gently kissed the wound then looked back up at Draco's eyes for any signs that he should stop.

Draco's hands were suddenly in Harry's hair and he pulled him into a deep, forceful kiss. _God…it's been way too bloody long. _He walked forward, pushing the smaller man against the wall and moving his lips to his neck.

Harry laughed. "This was my birthday wish," he said softly, then hissed as he felt Draco's teeth sink into his neck. His hiss of pain turned into a moan of pleasure as the blond began to suck lightly and lick at the small red mark he had made.

Draco pulled back and smiled as he examined his work. He lightly ran his fingertips over the bruise and looked into Harry's eyes. "I never really understood your fascination with marking me before. But I can see why now. There's something appealing about knowing that people will look at you and see a tangible sign of our passion." He leaned in and kissed him again.

"I want you so bad," Harry whispered as he wrapped his arms around the taller man's shoulders. "Take me to bed."

Draco laughed and nodded. "I suppose since it's your birthday, I really can't refuse you."

Harry smiled. "It would be rude."

Draco tucked Harry's hair behind his ears. "You need a haircut."

"No way. If I cut it, then you won't be able to always push it out of my eyes and tuck it behind my ears. I love when you do that."

Draco saw the honesty in Harry's green eyes and he felt the angry wall around his heart begin to melt. "You have no idea what you're doing to me, do you?" He took a step back, but never looked away from Harry's gaze.

Harry looked confused for a moment. "What does that mean?" He took Draco's hand and squeezed it. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No…not exactly." Draco gently pulled his hand away and folded his arms across his chest. "You have the strangest effect on me. I don't actually know yet whether it's a good thing or not, but when I'm with you, you're all that matters."

Harry smiled up at him, but still looked a bit unsure.

Draco reached out and stroked his cheek. "There are days that I wish I had never met you…that I had never stopped to buy coffee that I didn't even want just to talk to a boy who hummed Christmas songs in March."

Harry's smile grew into an ear to ear grin. "That's why you stopped in that day?"

Draco nodded and pulled his hand away from Harry's blushing face. "You intrigued me. Still do, to be honest."

Harry's smile faded. "But…why is that a bad thing?"

Draco shrugged. "I'm not sure that it is, really. I just don't like how I keep letting you hurt me." He looked into Harry's eyes and tried to smile. "I don't think I could handle you walking away again. Especially not to go back to him."

Harry stepped forward and took both of Draco's now trembling hands. "What just happened? You were two seconds away from dragging me to bed and now you're…sad?"

Draco squeezed Harry's hands. "I'm not really sad," he said softly. "I'm just…I'm trying to be cautious."

Harry gave him a small smile. "How about this…I'm going to the bedroom." He let go of Draco's hands and headed down the hall. He didn't look back when he next spoke. "I would love it if joined me, but if you can't do that, I'll understand." He disappeared into the room at the end of the hall.

Draco stood unmoving for a few minutes before mumbling a curse under his breath and making his way down the hall.

Stopping in the doorway, he groaned softly to himself as he looked at the now naked man who lay sprawled on his stomach on the bed.

Harry's arms were folded, his head resting on them as he looked at Draco. He smiled. "Hello."

Draco struggled to breathe. He briefly considered turning around and walking out the door, but he knew he was already done for. Just the sight of Harry's perfect arse had made him instantly hard. He licked his lips and swallowed. "Hi."

Harry rolled his hips and sighed softly to himself as the smooth quilt brushed over him.

Draco closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Think Ron and Hermione want you soiling their blankets like that?" He returned his gaze to Harry's body, his eyes moving slowly over his strong back and down his legs.

Harry laughed softly. "This is my blanket. I got it from Mrs. Weasley and I left it here so Oliver wouldn't destroy it during one of his fits of anger. He's been known to destroy the things I love most."

Draco frowned. "Nice guy."

Harry shrugged. "I never claimed he was a nice guy."

"Yet you let him fuck you regularly?"

Harry shrugged again. "He's not who I want fucking me right now, so why does it matter?" He rolled onto his side and propped his head on an elbow, exposing his hardness to the blond. "Are you joining me or am I doing this alone?"

Draco stared at Harry's cock as he finally entered the room and shut the door behind him. He slowly started removing his clothes, never taking his eyes from the other's body.

Harry reached a hand down and began stroking himself.

A low, rumbling moan was released from Draco's lips before he even realized he was making a sound. He finished undressing a bit more quickly, then climbed onto the bed, slowly crawling towards the brunette who waited for him.

Harry got to his knees and moved to him, meeting him in the middle of the bed. He reached out to touch Draco's face, tracing his fingers slowly over his high cheekbones, over his pink lips and smooth chin and down to gently caress his bruised neck. A flash of sorrow went through his eyes as he bit down on his lower lip and looked away.

Draco sighed and took Harry's face in his hands. He moved closer until their bodies were touching, their erections pressing together, trapped between them.

"I missed you," Harry whispered.

Draco smiled softly and finally kissed him. Their lips moved slowly together, each of them savoring the others taste and feel as roaming hands touched and eager bodies pushed closer together.

Draco gently pushed Harry down onto his back. His tongue pressed deeper into the smaller man's mouth as his fingertips lightly ran down his chest, over his stomach and hip and finally brushed against his cock.

"No," Harry said against his lips. He pushed Draco's hand away and sat up.

Draco's heart gave a violent lurch in his chest as he stared up at Harry in confusion.

"This is about you this time," Harry said with a reassuring smile. He pressed Draco down onto the bed and straddled him. He moved their hips together as he kissed and licked at the blond's bruises.

"But it's your birthday," Draco protested halfheartedly. He closed his eyes and grunted as Harry gave a particularly hard thrust.

Harry chuckled against his neck. "You forgave me. That's present enough." His green eyes came up to meet silver and he smiled sadly, all sense of playfulness gone. "I want you to forget that pain." He ran his fingertips over his split lip and bruised neck. "I want you to be happy."

Draco stopped breathing. He had no idea how to respond to that, so instead he craned his neck, capturing Harry's lips in a gentle kiss.

Harry sighed into his mouth and ran his knuckles slowly down the length of Draco's arms. He entwined their fingers, bringing their hands up to rest on either side of Draco's head and slowly increased the depth of their kiss, while still keeping it soft, yet passionate.

Draco's fingers clenched tighter around Harry's as the brunette slowly trailed his lips over his face and down to his throat. He placed feather light kisses along his collarbones and shoulders, his tongue darting out occasionally to lick softly at his pale skin.

"Harry," Draco whispered.

He felt Harry smile against his shoulder and the soft touches moved back up to his neck, unerringly finding that sensitive spot right below his ear. Harry licked and sucked and rocked his hips, but it was never hard or fast, always slow and gentle.

Draco wasn't used to such tenderness in bed. Never had he had someone touch him so gently or kiss him so affectionately; it was almost too much to bear and it scared him. Part of him wanted Harry to bite him, or scratch him, or increase the speed of his thrusts. Anything to remove these..._emotions_ he was feeling.

But a larger part of him never wanted this to end. His heart was racing faster than he could ever remember it racing before. There were butterflies in his stomach and a tightness in his chest that was indescribable.

Harry's mouth moved languidly down to his chest. He still gripped Draco's hands in his, though he brought them down to his sides, pinning them to the bed. His tongue lapped at a nipple, circling it slowly as he watched Draco's face from below dark lashes. Once satisfied, he moved on to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the first.

Draco sighed as he watched him. His cock was throbbing, aching to be touched, but Harry's body was no longer pressed tightly against him. He raised his hips, pushing himself into the brunette's stomach and moaned at the feel of the soft hairs below Harry's naval brushing against the head.

"I'm getting there, love…promise," Harry whispered against his heated skin. His thumbs stroked softly over the backs of Draco's hands, matching the pattern that his tongue and lips made on his body.

Draco was almost horrified when he heard himself whimper at the sensation of Harry's breath finally blowing over his painfully hard erection. He bit down hard on his lip and lifted his head, watching as Harry's lips brushed up and down the sides of his cock. He groaned deeply and dropped back on the pillow, closing his eyes and finally giving in to Harry's ministrations.

He felt Harry's tongue slowly circle the head and he longed to bury his fingers in his hair and guide him faster. But Harry's grip on his hands never faltered.

Lips sucked lightly at the head and his tongue flicked out, licking up a few drops of precum. Harry moaned at the taste and took him in further, pressing his lips tighter against Draco's hardness. His teeth scraped gently and slowly over the sensitive skin then he clamped his lips down and sucked hard as he pulled up.

"Christ," Draco whispered as his hips gave an involuntary jerk. "You're killing me, Harry."

Harry chuckled softly around Draco's cock, causing pleasant vibrations to run up through his groin. Draco cried out and flexed his hands, silently begging Harry to do it again.

Instead of chuckling, Harry began to hum.

When Draco heard the first notes of 'Carol of the Bells', he started to laugh. But his desire to laugh was quickly replaced by a deep moan and a desperate desire to come, which he knew was not far away.

Harry gently squeezed both of Draco's hands and unexpectedly, let go.

Draco tried to keep his hands still and at his sides, but one hard suck from Harry's mouth and his fingers were buried deep in soft, thick hair. He made sure not to pull, instead he gently massaged Harry's scalp, hoping he wouldn't stop whatever this was that he was doing to him.

Harry released Draco from his mouth and his lips moved lower, caressing his balls and licking them slowly. His fingers drew invisible patterns on his trembling thighs, then slid up to his cock and began to stroke him.

Draco's breath caught and he thought he was going to come right then, but Harry's hand was suddenly at the base of his cock, squeezing tightly to contain his orgasm. Draco gave a quiet sigh, half in disappointment and half in pleasure that this moment would continue, even if only for a few more minutes.

Then Harry looked up at him and smiled.

Draco knew at that moment that he had never seen anyone more beautiful.

Harry held eye contact as he changed his position and leaned back in to take Draco fully into his mouth. His licks came a bit faster and he sucked harder and deeper. Every time Draco moaned, Harry increased the pressure until it was almost too much for the blond to handle. But he still didn't want Harry to stop.

Draco panted as he struggled not to thrust up. He was close, so very, _very_ close and the last thing he wanted was to ruin the moment. "_Harry_," he moaned loudly. "I can't…take it…_please_…"

Harry moved his mouth faster in response to Draco's begging. He wrapped his lips tightly around the head and pressed the flat of his tongue to the underside. He alternated between licking and sucking and he felt the shaking in Draco's legs that signaled his quickly approaching climax. He hummed again and gave one last suck.

Draco gripped the sheets and arched his back. He let out a loud, strangled cry as he pumped his hips up into Harry's warm mouth and came so hard that his vision started to go a bit fuzzy on him. He continued to thrust as Harry continued to suck and he felt the sting of tears in his eyes as pleasure overwhelmed him. When it finally became too much, he dropped back onto the bed and placed a hand on Harry's head, silently asking him to stop.

Harry slowly sat back on his knees and smiled at him.

"What…the bloody hell…was that?" Draco managed between heaving breaths.

Harry's smile grew into an ear to ear grin. "Did you like it?"

Draco reached out a hand to him. "What do you think?"

Harry crawled up into his arms and buried his face in his neck. "You deserved it." He kissed his shoulder and looked back up at him.

For the second time that day, Draco found himself speechless. He turned his face and kissed Harry's forehead, his hand sliding down between them to stroke him.

Harry stopped his hand. "I came when you did," he whispered.

Draco looked up at him in surprise. "What? But, how?"

Harry laughed and kissed him, this time a bit harder than his earlier kisses. "Watching you like that… seeing the expressions on your face and listening to the noises you made..." He shrugged. "I just… came."

Draco laughed and held him tighter. "Thank you for that, by the way. It was…astonishing."

Harry beamed at him and jumped up, straddling his hips again. He sat back on Draco's thighs and just stared down at him. "Now for my birthday present."

Draco's eyes grew wide. "You're going to have to give me a bit of time to recover after…whatever that was you just did."

Harry smirked at him. "If I recall correctly, you really don't need much recovery time."

"That was a fluke!" Draco argued, though he couldn't help returning Harry's smile as he remembered their first time together. "It was the excitement of the idea of buggering that perfect arse of yours."

Harry crawled to the edge of the bed, making sure his arse was directed at Draco the whole time. He glanced over his shoulder and laughed at the lustful expression on the blond's face, then he reached over the side of the bed and grabbed his bag.

"Ah, good…you brought your bag of lube."

"Shut up." Harry pulled out a few packets and tossed them over his shoulder to Draco.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "I seriously doubt we need three packets Harry."

Harry tossed his bag onto the floor and crawled back over to him. He smiled at the sight of Draco's growing erection and laid his body across the blond. "You never know."

"I haven't gotten it up four times in a day since I was sixteen."

"Well, I'll just have to make you feel sixteen again." He took Draco's half hard cock in his hand and began to stroke it slowly, knowing he was probably still sensitive.

"You are evil. First you do that warm and fuzzy thing that almost made me pass out and now you're so eager to have my cock in you that you're…" His words trailed off as Harry's hand twisted at the end of a stroke, causing a jolt of pleasure to run up his spine and a soft moan to escape his lips.

"I knew you couldn't resist me," Harry whispered. He kissed him hard, the complete opposite of their other kisses, and rapidly stroked him to full hardness.

Draco prepped him quickly, no longer able to contain the desire to have Harry wrapped around him.

"I'm ready," Harry argued.

"No, you're not."

Harry pushed his hands away and pressed him back into the mattress. "Yes, I am." He climbed on top of him and guided him to his opening. He held his breath as he lowered himself and cried out softly as Draco sank deep inside of him.

"Of fuck…Jesus, Harry…"

"Good?"

Draco nodded as his hands gripped Harry's thighs. "Yeah."

Harry smiled as he began to ride him slowly. "I've never…done it…like this." He experimentally shifted his hips and threw his head back, moaning softly when he finally found the right angle.

Draco had to fight his eyes rolling into the back of his head as Harry increased the speed. He had thought he had been deep before, but this…this was something completely different.

When Harry found his rhythm, Draco started pushing his hips up into him. He ran his hands over his tense thighs, scratching lightly with his nails, leaving long, pink marks. He was still sensitive from Harry's amazing blow job and he could already tell that he wouldn't last long this round. "Wait… Harry…I'm not…" He arched his back and moaned as the brunette slammed himself down against him. "_Shit_…I won't last…unless…slow down…"

"Can't…_fuck_…" His eyes grew wide and he moved faster. He leaned forward slightly, resting his hands on Draco's chest to balance himself. "Oh God…Draco…" He squeezed his eyes shut and pushed down harder against him.

Hoping to make Harry come first, Draco took his cock in hand and pulled fast and hard while pumping his hips up into him in an almost violent manner.

Harry's body trembled and a fine sheen of sweet broke out over his brow. His mouth fell open and he dropped his head, resting his chin on his chest. "Draco," he whimpered softly.

Draco pulled him down into a desperate kiss, his hips still moving and his hand still stroking his erection.

Harry wrapped his arms tightly around Draco's neck, pulling him up into a sitting position. He buried his face in the blond's neck and panted heavily as he wrapped his legs around Draco's waist and thrust his hips against him.

Draco's hand gripped Harry's arse, guiding their frantic motions. He bit down lightly on Harry's shoulder then started sucking and licking, anything he could think of to help the brunette get there before he did.

Harry's mouth was pressed right under his ear and Draco shivered at the sound and feel of his heavy breathing. "Lean back on your hands," he whispered.

Harry reluctantly let go of Draco's neck and leaned back, placing both hands flat on the bed. He gasped and bucked at the new angle and a smile broke out over his tired face.

Gripping Harry's hip tightly with one hand, Draco began to guide him forward and back, slamming deep into him with each thrust.

Harry's arms began to shake and he squeezed his eyes shut. A frantic flood of quiet begging started to spill from his mouth.

Draco was sweating with the strain of holding back his orgasm. Harry was growing tighter and tighter around him and he cursed softly when he felt the tingling in the soles of his feet and the almost painful tightening of his balls. _Not yet…not yet…not yet…_

Harry's arms gave out suddenly and he collapsed onto his back with a wordless shout. Draco continued to guide him back and forth and watched in awe as Harry came all over himself, thick spurts of come splashing over his chest and dripping down his stomach. Harry trembled with pleasure and exhaustion. He ran his fingers over his chest, coating them in come, then brought the fingers to his lips and sucked them into his mouth.

Watching Harry taste himself was all it took and Draco came with a loud shout of his own, only he managed to say Harry's name before he collapsed onto the bed, out of breath.

*.*.*.*

He was sitting on the windowsill, half hanging outside, while he smoked his third consecutive cigarette. He heard rustling in the bed behind him, but he didn't turn around.

"What time is it?" Harry said through a yawn.

"Just after ten," Draco said. He flicked the butt out the window and turned to his raven haired lover.

Harry stared at Draco's bare chest as he pulled his boxers up over his hips. "You are so sexy." He walked over to the blonde and kissed him slowly while trailing his fingertips over his skin.

Draco smiled into the kiss, then pulled away and went back to the bed. He crawled in, pulling the sheet over him, then held an arm out to Harry in silent invitation.

Harry crawled up next to him and slid under the covers. He buried his face in Draco's neck and took a deep breath. "I love how you smell," he whispered then kissed his ear. "It's like fresh air and honey."

Draco ran his fingers over Harry's back and sighed in contentment. _This is nice. I like being this way with him._

"Can I ask you something?" Harry asked as he rested his cheek over Draco's heart.

"Of course."

"You said it had been a long time since you allowed yourself to get hurt."

Draco nodded for him to continue.

"What happened? Who was he?"

Draco was still and silent for a long moment before his hand went back to stroking Harry's shoulder and neck. "It was Blaise," he said softly.

Harry became still as well. When he realized he was holding his breath, he exhaled slowly. "What did he do?"

Draco untangled himself from Harry and lay down on his side. "He didn't mean to do anything."

Harry mirrored Draco's position so they were lying facing each other.

Draco took one of Harry's hands and played with it while he spoke. "He's been my best friend since we were seven. I loved him. I was _in_ _love_ with him."

"You told him?" Harry asked as he watched Draco run his fingertips over his palms.

Draco nodded. "I couldn't stand it any more, so after graduation, before I left for university, I just blurted it out one day."

"What did he say?"

"That he already knew. Pansy told him when we were fourteen. I don't know how she knew at that time, but she did." Draco smiled softly and looked up at Harry. "I hadn't even admitted being gay yet."

Harry gently ran his fingers over Draco's mouth, then leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. "Go on."

"He and I talked for a long time that night. He was so supportive and understanding, but he was with Pansy and he knew that they were going to get married some day. He said that he had never looked at me like that and then he held me for hours while I cried."

Harry gently kissed Draco's hand.

"He proposed to Pansy a few weeks later. A lot of people thought they were too young to be married, but if you could have seen them, Harry…" He smiled a wide smile. "There was no reason for them to wait. They were just meant to be." He shifted closer to Harry and rested his head on his shoulder. "They set a date for late October of that year, just four months after graduation. I was Blaise's best man, so I drove in the day before and we stayed in a hotel so Pansy could stay at their flat. So, the night before the wedding, he snuck into my room claiming to have the jitters. We lay in bed for an hour before he suddenly kissed me. I tried to resist. I knew it was wrong. Pansy has been one of my best friends for almost as long. But I couldn't help it. We…we had sex…and I cried the entire time because as perfect as it was, I knew it was never going to happen again."

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's shoulders and kissed the top of his head. "Did Pansy ever find out?"

Draco was silent for a moment then nodded. "She knew immediately. She never said anything to Blaise, but she and I discussed it. She said that it had to happen in order for her and Blaise to be happy. That he would have always wondered about it." He laughed softly. "She actually _thanked_ me and refused my numerous apologies and she said if I disappeared from their lives, they would hunt me down and kill me. And that was that."

Harry smiled. "She's amazing."

Draco nodded. "She really is."

Harry took Draco's chin in his hand and tilted his head up. "So are you," he said softly. He kissed him deeply. "You better be careful or next thing you know, I'll have fallen in love with you." He kissed him again, then rolled on top of him, straddling his hips. "I just can't get enough of you."

Draco sighed softly as Harry's lips brushed over his neck. "Would it really be so bad to fall in love with me?"

Harry just kept kissing his neck as he mumbled something.

"What was that?" Draco took Harry's face in his hands and forced him to look at him. "Would it? Would falling in love with me be a bad thing?"

Harry stared into his eyes and smiled. "Yes," he said then kissed him again.

Draco felt like his heart was being torn from his chest, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to make Harry stop kissing him.

Draco couldn't sleep. He was physically exhausted from his morning in bed with Harry, but his mind wouldn't shut down. _You are such a fool Malfoy. Letting yourself be used like this. Whatever happened to your sense of pride?_ He looked down at the mess of black hair that was resting on his chest and felt a pang of sorrow deep inside of him.

Harry was sound asleep, his mouth slightly open and a soft snoring sound escaping with every breath.

Draco stroked his dark hair as he thought about their last conversation. _It would be a bad thing to love me. And he said it with a smile on his face._ He frowned at the thought.

Harry stirred a bit and whimpered softly in his sleep, his mouth tightening into a thin line and turning down at the corners. "Stop," he said softly.

"Hey," Draco whispered as he pulled the shaking boy closer. "Shh…it's just a dream, Harry." He stroked his back and hair and kissed his head. "It's alright. It's only a dream."

Harry struggled weakly against him, then rolled off of Draco and onto his back before falling back into a peaceful sleep.

Draco used the opportunity to get out of bed and get dressed. He watched Harry sleep for a few more minutes before grabbing a pen and paper from the desk by the bed. He sat down and thought hard about what he wanted to say before beginning.

"_Dear Harry, _

_I didn't wake you because I have a few things that I need to get off my chest and for some reason, I can't seem to say them when you look at me. So I'm taking the cowards way out and writing you this letter. But if I'm not mistaken, you know how that feels._

_First…this has to stop. As much fun as we have in bed, it's the out of bed part that worries me. We seem to fight an awful lot for two people who have only spent a grand total of about 24 hours together. I'm sure if you think about it, you will see it the same way. Simply put, you and I don't work._

_Second…please, please, please don't go back to Oliver. Even though I'm telling you that I no longer wish to continue seeing you, that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. I care more than I probably should, which is part of the problem. Oliver is like poison and if you go back to him, I fear you will die. And that might just break me. Call me selfish if you want to, just please don't go back._

_Third…be careful with your future lovers. Remember their feelings before you speak, even if it's only one small word that seems completely innocent. You never know what it is that will finally shatter someone's heart, especially one already fragile._

_I guess that's it really. I know it's not a lot, and these things may not seem too important, but they were things I had to say before it was too late. I hope life is better to you than it has been so far. Hold on to Ron and Hermione with all your might. They'll never let you down._

_All my love, Draco."_

He reread it a few times before folding it up and propping it on the nightstand by Harry's glasses.

He sighed softly and tried to shake off the almost unbearable sadness that seemed to be overwhelming him. He grabbed his keys and phone, placed a quick kiss on Harry's forehead and slowly backed out the door. He turned the knob before pulling the door shut to keep the 'click' from waking his dozing lover. _Ex-lover_ he reminded himself. He stood there with his hand on the knob and his forehead pressed against the smooth wood, squeezing his eyes shut and forcing himself to breathe. _You can do this Malfoy…just walk away._

Draco jumped when he heard a throat being cleared behind him. He spun around to find Hermione standing at the end of the hall with her arms folded. She looked at him in confusion.

Draco held a finger to his mouth as he silently made his way to her side.

"Where are you going?" she asked as she followed him into the living room.

"Why are you home?" Draco ignored her question and sat down on the couch to slip on his shoes.

"A late lunch, thought I'd come check on the two of you and see if you had surfaced for air yet." She sat down beside him. "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving."

"Why?"

"Because I have to." He stood and headed for the door.

"Draco-"

"No, I have to, Hermione." He stopped and forced himself to face her. "I have to leave him before he leaves me."

She stared at him in silence, and then slowly nodded her head when she realized that she could come up with no reassurances for the blonde. Her brown eyes filled with tears as she took a step closer to him. "Oh, Draco."

He hurried to her and hugged her tightly. "Don't."

She clung to him. "I'm so sorry that you got hurt," she mumbled into his chest.

He kissed the top of her head and released her. "Thank you for breakfast."

She managed a small smile and nodded.

He slipped quietly out the door and hurried to his car before he had a chance to change his mind.

As he quietly shut the car door, he glanced up to see Harry standing at the open window of the room they had shared. He was reading Draco's letter, a frown plastered on his face.

Draco started the car and watched as Harry looked up at him, his green eyes wide and confused. He leaned out the window. "Draco!" he yelled.

Draco ignored him and pulled away. He managed to drive the half hour to his flat, walk upstairs, change into his pajamas and climb into bed before he finally, for the first time in six years, allowed himself cry.

TBC

_AN: Thank you all for reading! Hope you enjoyed it. Til next time…_


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Hello everyone! Thanks for the lovely reviews! This chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but I promise I'll get the next chapter posted as soon as possible._

_Also, this chapter is a little heavy on the secondary characters, though there's still plenty of Draco and even a little Harry thrown in. It was necessary to set up the next chapter. And I tried combining this one and the next, but then it was way too long. So…hope you enjoy!_

Chapter Four

- August 20th -

"I'm worried about him," Pansy said softly into the phone. "He isn't eating enough."

"I can hear you, you know," Draco snapped as he rolled over to face the back of the couch. "I'm depressed, not deaf."

"Shut up," Pansy snapped back. "I'm talking to Hermione, not you."

He sat up and glared at her. "How about you stop talking _about_ me at all and get the hell out of my flat. I didn't ask you to come here and coddle me like a fucking baby, so go away." He threw himself down onto his back, completely aware of his ridiculous theatrics, but he really didn't care at the moment. _It would be a bad thing to fall in love with me. _He covered his head with his arms and ground his teeth together, trying to shut out the thoughts that had plagued him for weeks.

Pansy sighed, said her goodbyes to Hermione and went to stand over Draco. "Why'd you leave if it's tearing you up so badly?"

"Can we please, for the love of all that is holy, not talk about him for one bloody day?"

"Hermione said he's hardly speaking to them. He's been at their house for three weeks and he hasn't left once, not even to go sit outside. She's not sure, but she thinks he was crying last night."

Draco jumped to his feet and gave her the hardest glare he could muster. "Stop trying to guilt trip me." He turned and stormed off towards his room.

"Where are you going?"

"To get dressed. I have a date."

Pansy's jaw dropped but she quickly followed after him. "You do?"

He rolled his eyes and started flipping through his closet. "Relax…it's no big deal. It's only Theo."

Pansy gasped. "But you said-"

"I am well aware of what I said, but I may have been a bit…harsh. We only slept together a couple of times after all. It's been years. I figure he deserves a second chance and he certainly jumped for one when I phoned him." He pulled off his t-shirt and slipped on a pale blue button up dress shirt. "I do hope he's worked on his kissing technique…I'm really not in the mood to be drooled on."

She ignored his attempts at lightening the mood. "Don't use him to get over Harry."

Draco threw his hands in the air and growled softly at the ceiling. "Can I do nothing right in your eyes?" He looked over at her.

Her face softened as she looked into her best friends dull grey eyes. They had been that way since he left Harry almost a month ago and she was willing to do most anything to bring back some spark of life.

"Dray? Pans?" Blaise called from the living room.

"Bedroom," Pansy called back to him, though she never took her eyes from Draco's.

"I need to do this," he told her, his voice soft. "I have to prove to myself that I don't…need him."

"What's wrong with needing him?" Blaise asked as he leaned against the door frame.

"I'm a Malfoy. Malfoy's don't 'need' people," Draco said, though his voice was less than convincing.

"You need us," Blaise reminded him.

Draco rolled his eyes as he pulled on a pair of black pants. "That's completely different."

"How?" Pansy asked as she sat down on his bed.

"You two are family." He tucked his shirt in as he moved to stand in front of a full length mirror.

"Any lover you have will eventually become family as well. I don't see the difference." Blaise went to the closet and picked out a darker blue tie and brought it to his friend. He draped it around Draco's neck and began to tie it for him.

"Eventually, yes," the blond agreed. "But Harry and I hardly know each other. He is not now, nor will he ever be, family."

"He could be," Pansy said softly.

"No," Draco snapped. "You don't get it so just drop it."

Pansy jumped to her feet. "You think you know everything Draco, but I happen to know that you are a lonely, bitter, _angry_ person and you should be glad that someone as loving as Harry would let you into his heart!"

"Loving? You don't know what he said to me!" Draco protested. _ I can't believe she's taking the side of that git! Betrayal!_

"So what? People say shit, Dray…get over it!"

"I can't 'get over it'! It fucking hurt, Pansy, and I'm sorry, but not all of us can just shut off our emotions like you can!"

She snorted. "Oh, that's rich coming from the Ice Prince himself. Do you really think Blaise and I would still be together if we split up every time one of us said something stupid or hurt each others feelings? Relationships take work, Draco, and you and Harry need to work on yours or-"

"We don't have a _relationship_!" Draco yelled at the top of his lungs. He slapped at Blaise's hands which were fiddling with his collar and stepped back. "Will you just please mind your own business?"

"You are my business!"

"I am _not_ your business nor do I want to _be_ your business so go pay attention to someone else for once because I'm sick of the hovering and the mothering and I just want to be left the fuck alone!"

Blaise and Pansy stood staring at him in silence for a moment.

Pansy stepped closer to him. "You're going to get your wish if you don't stop talking to your friends like you have been. We're not to be treated as your personal punching bags and I can't speak for Blaise, but I refuse to put up with your childish tantrums any longer."

Draco's mouth fell open in shock as he stared at the small furious woman in front of him. "I'm not being childish," he said, his voice low and angry. He turned back to his reflection and started to fix the tie that Blaise had only been able to half finish. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart and ease the burning in his cheeks.

"Why are you so upset about this if it doesn't matter to you?" Pansy's voice was soft and calm.

"Why are _you_ so upset about it? That time of the month?"

Blaise took in a sharp breath next to him. He looked at his wife as her eyes began to tear and she turned to hurry out of the room.

Draco's jaw dropped as he turned to Blaise. "What the hell…?"

Blaise stared at the empty doorway, then sighed heavily and sank down to sit on Draco's bed. "We're having some…trouble," he said softly.

Draco forgot about his tie and his anger at Pansy and went to his friend's side. "What kind of trouble?" 

"You know we've been trying for a baby?"

Draco nodded. "But it's only been like six months. I've heard it can take up to a year."

Blaise shook his head. "Pansy won't be able to carry a baby," he said softly. "She had a doctor's appointment the other day and they confirmed it. Something about the car accident she was in as a kid and scar tissue and..." He scratched his head. "I didn't ask too many questions. Didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was." He rested his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

Draco was dumbfounded. He dropped onto the bed beside Blaise and stared blankly at the door. "Well, fuck."

Blaise rubbed his eyes. "I think you were her project. You know how she gets when she's upset about something. She finds something to replace it with and if I'm not mistaken, you were that something. She wanted to take care of you so she didn't have to take care of herself."

"Jesus, Blaise…why didn't either of you tell me?"

He sighed heavily. "She didn't want you worrying about her on top of everything else."

"Well…I feel like an absolute git."

"Would you…do you mind checking on her? When she sees me upset, she just cries harder."

Draco nodded and stood. He squeezed Blaise's shoulder, cleared his throat and shook off his shock, then went to find his friend.

Pansy was sitting on a chair on the balcony, her knees pulled up to her chest and her face pressed into them.

Draco swallowed hard. He had never seen her look so vulnerable. For thirteen years, Pansy had been the one to do the comforting in their small group, she had been their rock. He wasn't quite sure what to do with the role reversal. He took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the sliding glass door. "Pans?" he said softly as he stepped outside.

She straightened herself up and wiped her face with the palms of her hands. "Hey," she whispered back, trying to force a smile onto her face.

Draco crouched in front of her and rested his hands on her knees.

She looked anywhere but at him.

"Pansy…love…" he squeezed her hand.

She finally looked at him and burst into tears. She slid off the chair and into his waiting arms. "Dray," she cried softly.

He had to hold back his own tears as he rocked her and stroked her hair. "I know, love…I know."

She gasped for air between sobs. "It's so unfair!" she cried, choking on her tears. She took a deep breath and pulled back to look up into his eyes. Her own eyes were flooded with fresh tears and her lower lip trembled. "I know I'm being rather selfish, but why did this have to happen to _me_?"

Draco gave her a weak smile as he wiped her face with his thumb. "I don't know. And I won't try to pretend that I know how you feel." He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her again. "I can't even begin to imagine."

"I'm only twenty four. I'm not supposed to have these problems." She buried her face in his neck to muffle a sob. "He's going to leave me," she whispered.

"Pansy, no!" Draco said, a little more forcefully than he had meant. He pulled back from her so he could see her eyes. "That isn't true. You know how much he loves you."

She nodded. "But would you really blame him if he did? To have a…a broken wife…at such a young age? How could he not consider it?"

"You are not _broken_ and I never want to hear you say anything like that again. Do you hear me?"

She nodded and looked away.

"There are ways, Pans. There are always ways and I promise you, we will figure this out."

"He wants children so badly. A big family…that's what we agreed to." She sniffled softly, but her sobs had calmed. "I really wanted to give him a baby."

"I know you did. And as much as you're making it about what he wants, I know that you want it too."

She nodded into his shoulder. "I really do."

With a little effort, Draco managed to move them both to a chair without letting go of her once. He continued to stroke her hair and back until he felt her body relax as she fell asleep.

"Is she alright?" Blaise asked as he joined them on the balcony.

Draco sighed and nodded. "She's just angry…and scared."

"I won't leave her," Blaise promised as he leaned on the railing and gazed lovingly down at his sleeping wife. "She's perfect for me in every way and I know I could never live without her."

Draco smiled. "How'd you know that was what she was thinking?"

Blaise laughed softly. "Sometimes I think I know her better than she does." He looked up at Draco. "Just like she knows you better than you know yourself."

Draco blushed and looked away from Blaise as he shifted Pansy in his arms. "I take it she hasn't been sleeping much?" He stood and motioned for Blaise to go inside.

"Not for a few days now." Blaise grabbed a pillow from the couch and a blanket from the chair in the corner. He set the pillow on the chaise in the other corner and covered her once Draco set her down.

Pansy stirred and opened her puffy eyes. She looked up at her husband and smiled a sad, but loving smile.

Draco stepped back and watched them for a moment as they bent close together, talking softly. _They'll be just fine…they always are._ "I have to finish getting ready. You know you are welcome to stay as long as you like." He leaned over and kissed Pansy's forehead. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No." She smiled up at him and brushed his hair from his eyes. "You deserve to go have some fun."

"If you're sure." He kissed her forehead once more.

She grabbed his hand before he could pull away. "I'm sorry I called you lonely, bitter and angry."

He smiled and kissed her hand. "You were only speaking the truth." He squeezed her hand and let go. He kissed the top of Blaise's head and went to finish getting dressed.

*.*.*.*

The restaurant was nothing too fancy, but it was quiet and dim, the atmosphere romantic with its white roses and candles on every small round table. It wasn't overly crowded at five on a Wednesday, but it would only be a half hour or so before people were lined up outside.

Draco sat at the table, drumming his fingers on the wooden tabletop. He was already on his second glass of red wine, trying hard to drown out the nervousness that was eating at him. _You've known him for years. Get a fucking grip._

"Draco."

Draco looked up into the smiling face of Theodore Nott and couldn't help but smile in return. They had been great friends while in school…until they had slept together that is. And Draco had to admit now that he had missed him.

The blond stood and extended his hand to his date. "Theo…you look good."

Theo shook his hand and leaned in to place a lingering kiss on the corner of Draco's mouth. "You look amazing," he said softly. "As always."

Draco was disappointed to find that he didn't feel anything when Theo kissed him.

They sat down and looked at the menu in silence. When the waiter came, they ordered – steak for Theo, fettuccini for Draco – and finally settled back in their seats to look each other over.

Theo wasn't what one would necessarily call handsome, but he had good features that Draco appreciated. His eyes were a soft brown which almost exactly matched his hair. And though there was nothing special about them or his nose or his skin, he had a smile that could light up a room and that brought out a strange sort of beauty in his plain face that was surprising.

"God…I've missed you," Theo said softly. He leaned his elbows on the table and reached over to cover Draco's hand with his. "I was so surprised when you called."

Draco laughed softly and concentrated on not pulling his hand away from Theo's touch. "I figure it's been awhile and it might be nice for the two of us to catch up."

Theo squeezed his hand and let go. "That's all this is then? A chance to 'catch up'?" He gave Draco a suggestive look and licked his lips.

Draco felt his heart pound and a stirring in his groin and he almost sighed in relief that he was able to feel something for someone other than Harry. He gave his old friend a smile and raised an eyebrow. "You better eat fast, Nott…I've already lost interest in dinner." _Well, that's certainly an exaggeration, but we might as well do this before I lose my nerve._

"We could get the food to go," Theo suggested.

Draco laughed, though he hated how awkward it sounded to his own ears. "We could. Excuse me." He stood and walked over to the bar where he had a quick conversation with their waiter. The waiter nodded and went off to bag up their food.

Draco smiled as he turned to go back to his table. He stopped in his tracks when he almost ran directly into Ron Weasley.

"Malfoy," Ron said in surprise as he extended a hand. He smiled.

Draco was hesitant, but shook Ron's hand anyway. "Weasley…is Hermione with you?"

Ron nodded. "We tried to get here early enough to avoid the lines, but I had to work a bit late. 'Mione ran to the ladies room."

"You should have made reservations," Draco told him.

Ron laughed. "That may work when you're Draco Malfoy, son of millionaire entrepreneur Lucius Malfoy, but I assure you, it doesn't work when you're Ron Weasley, primary school teacher." He blushed softly and looked away.

Draco couldn't help but laugh. "How long did they tell you?"

"About an hour."

Draco took Ron's elbow and guided him over to the hostess.

"Mr. Malfoy," a young woman said as she hurried to them. She looked at Ron with suspicious eyes. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"Yes," Draco began, his voice quiet, yet commanding. "My good friend Mr. Weasley and his lovely fiancé," he motioned to Hermione who had wandered over to them, a look of confusion on her face, "were told they would have to wait an hour for a table."

The hostess's face paled and her eyes went wide. "Mr. Malfoy, I'm sorry, we didn't-"

He held up a hand to silence her. "No apologies…just get them a table immediately. And their meal is to be complimentary."

"Draco, no," Hermione protested.

The hostess nodded and hurried off to find them a table.

"You shouldn't have done that," Hermione said softly.

Draco shrugged and smiled. "My father owns this place."

Ron snorted. "Of course he does." He grinned at Draco and slapped him on the shoulder.

"Hello, by the way," Draco said as he turned to Hermione and held out his arms for a hug.

She couldn't help but return the smile. "Hello," she finally said as she stepped into his arms.

"How are things?" Draco asked once she had released him.

"Wonderful," Hermione said as she slipped her hand into Ron's. "Today is our anniversary."

"Four years," Ron said as he smiled down at her.

Draco bit back his jealousy, but couldn't help but wonder how Harry was doing. "How is – "

"Draco, did you forget about me?"

Draco turned to see Theo standing behind him with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't look amused.

_Well, actually, yes I did. _"Theo…I just ran into some good friends of mine and was helping to get them a table. I'm sorry it took so long." He felt his cheeks flooding with color and tried to stop it as he looked back at Harry's friends.

Hermione's mouth was open a bit as if she were about to speak and Ron's brow was furrowed in confusion.

Draco desperately clung to his composure. "I'm sorry," he said again as Theo joined them.

Theo extended his hand to Ron. "Hello, I'm Theo, Draco's date."

Ron raised an eyebrow at Draco before shaking Theo's hand. "Ron Weasley."

"Hermione Granger," Hermione added as she also shook his hand.

Theo looked at Draco and smiled. "Are you ready to go? Here comes the waiter with our food."

The waiter brought the bag and handed it to Theo before nodding to Draco and walking away.

"You got take out?" Ron asked.

Draco blushed and nodded.

Theo laughed. "Someone was a bit impatient to get home, so we had them bag it up." He laughed again as he winked at Ron and Hermione and slid an arm around Draco's waist.

Draco's face was burning. He chanced a look at Hermione and found her biting her lip and avoiding eye contact with him. He felt a sharp pain in his chest. _She thinks I'm a slut. Oh God…she's going to tell Harry._

Ron's face was a bit red and he was staring at the floor.

"Ready to go, love?" Theo asked, his impatience growing.

Draco couldn't move or speak. _Love? Did he just call me love? Say something Malfoy! Just open your mouth and tell him no, damn it!_

"Draco?" Hermione said softly, concern in her voice.

Theo leaned in closer to him and squeezed Draco's hip to get his attention.

Draco let out a slight squeak and stepped away. "I…I can't, Theo. I'm…fuck…I'm so sorry." Draco couldn't make himself look away from the suddenly fascinating floor.

"What do you mean?" Theo's eyes narrowed as he took a step back.

Draco managed a small, helpless shrug. "I just…can't. I know you don't understand, but I'm just not ready for this. I am so sorry." He turned and hurried out of the restaurant. _Stop panicking! What the hell is wrong with you? Malfoy's do not panic!_ He couldn't breathe, so he stopped and leaned back against the side of the building, hanging his head and resting his hands on his knees.

"Draco?"

He held his breath for a moment before looking up to face Hermione. "I couldn't do it," he said softly, running his trembling hand through his white-blond hair. "I had all these grand plans of getting drunk with an old friend and then fucking until neither of us could see straight, but…" He sighed heavily and shook his head.

She blushed at his statement, but smiled sympathetically as she pulled him into her arms. "He's not okay either," she said softly.

He held onto the small brunette and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Follow your heart?" she suggested with a small laugh.

"He'll break me, Hermione…you and I both know it. I can't go back to him."

She sighed sadly and nodded. "I know that, sweetie." She rubbed his back in slow circles.

"Oliver will always win over me and…the idea that he could even look at someone who hurts him as the love of his life…" He shook his head and held her closer.

"Did he tell you that Oliver is the love of his life?"

Draco was silent for a moment then he let go and looked down at her. "Well, no, but I just…I thought…"

"He's never told me that he loves him at all," she said as she took his hands in hers. "And I don't think that he does. I think it's more of an addiction."

"One that he's not willing to give up in order to be happy." He squeezed her hands. "Pansy said you told her that he hasn't left the house…does that mean – "

She shook her head. "No, he finally caught up with the rest of civilization and got himself a cell phone. He's been talking to Oliver every day. He just refuses to see him. I've tried to get him to stop the calls too, but he gets so defensive."

"It's a step in the right direction at least." He sighed heavily and leaned back against the wall. "What a bloody mess."

They both looked up when they heard foot steps coming their way. Ron smiled and waved as he made his way towards them.

"Thanks for leaving me with your very angry date," he said, smirking at Draco. "He called you some very interesting names."

Draco blushed and looked away.

"Leave him alone," Hermione said as she smacked her fiancé on the arm.

"Ow! You've been spending too much time with Pansy." Ron rubbed his sore arm.

Draco laughed. "Pansy _is_ a hitter." His laughter faded as he thought about the condition his friend had been in when he had left. "Have you spoken to her about…?" He looked up at Hermione, unable to finish his sentence.

Her face fell and she nodded. "Yes, the poor thing. It's quite tragic and unfair, really. I've been doing a bit of research on the subject and once she's calmed down some, I will talk to her about her options."

"You're a great friend." Draco leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"Still in the mood for dinner?" Ron asked.

Hermione looked at Draco. "Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded and managed a smile. "You two run along and enjoy your evening. It's your anniversary for fuck's sake. The last place you should be spending it is in a parking lot with me."

"Don't say that," Hermione said. She grabbed his hand and gave a reassuring squeeze.

"I've never even made it to a _first_ anniversary," Draco said with a forced laugh.

"You've got plenty of time, mate." Ron patted his shoulder and held an arm out for Hermione. "Shall we?"

She kissed Draco's cheek and gave a smile. "Call me please. We'll do lunch."

He agreed and watched them walk away to celebrate something he was sure he was never going to have for himself.

*.*.*.*

- September 18th -

Draco scanned rows and rows of books. He had no idea what he was looking for; he just hoped that something would pop out at him and scream "Hermione".

_What the hell do social workers read?_ He picked up a self help book, something about breaking through to your inner hero. He scanned the back and rolled his eyes. _I should buy this for Blaise, knowing his crap taste in reading materials._ He slid the book back onto the shelf. "Can never go wrong with a gift card," he muttered to himself as he shoved his hands into his pockets and headed for the front of the store.

He grabbed a card from the greeting card section, a blank leather bound journal and a gift certificate and went to get in line. He smiled to himself, quite pleased with his selections.

"I'm sorry sir, your card has been declined."

Draco looked up towards the front of the line. He stepped back to see around the incredibly tall blond man in front of him and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw Harry standing at the counter, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

"Oh…well, I think I may have some money on me…hold on." Harry dug through his pockets. His blush deepened when he looked at the enormous blond man staring down at him. He quickly looked away and continued to rummage through his pockets. He pulled out a few crumpled bills and began to straighten and count them.

The tall blond sighed heavily and stomped off to a different register.

Draco took Harry's side, though the brunet was too overcome with embarrassment to notice.

"Would you like me to hold your items and you can come back for them later?" the cashier asked, sounding highly annoyed.

Draco frowned as he watched her snap her gum. He slid his items up next to Harry's and pulled out a credit card. "That won't be necessary," he said with a sharp look at the cashier.

Harry flinched and turned to look at Draco in surprise.

Draco didn't look at Harry. He watched the cashier ring up their items and place them in two separate bags. He scanned his credit card, signed his name and grabbed both bags, then headed for the doors. "Coming, Potter?" he called over his shoulder, never breaking his stride.

Harry caught up with him outside. "Why'd you do that?"

Draco finally stopped and turned to him. "Why wouldn't I?" He held out Harry's bag.

Harry shrugged and took the bag.

Draco couldn't help noticing the bruises around Harry's wrist and he bit down hard on his tongue to keep quiet about it. _Should've known he'd eventually go back. But, it's not your business Malfoy. Move along._

"Thank you," Harry said softly. He noticed Draco eyeing his wrist and quickly pulled down his sleeve. "You really didn't have to do that."

Draco turned and headed for his car. "I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't known that it was a gift for Hermione."

Harry followed him. "How did you know it was for her?"

Draco shrugged again. "Lucky guess."

"Her birthday is tomorrow. She's having a party."

"I'm aware," Draco said. "I'll be there."

Harry looked surprised. "Oh…I didn't know she invited you."

"Yes, well…maybe she figured it wouldn't matter to you now that you're back with what's his name." Draco pulled out his keys and pressed the 'unlock' button. He stopped and looked at Harry. "Will your charming boyfriend be gracing us with his presence tomorrow?"

Harry's cheeks flushed and he gave a jerky nod.

"Excellent," Draco said between clenched teeth. "Tell him to keep his hands to himself and we'll all get along just fine." He turned to open his door. "Oh, and if he so much as looks at Pansy, I will fucking murder him."

Harry nodded.

Draco moved to get into the car.

"What about you?" Harry suddenly asked.

Draco raised an eyebrow as he looked back at him. "What about me?"

"Are you bringing a date?" Harry looked down at his feet and kicked at a small stone.

Draco also looked at Harry's feet, gleefully watching the brunet's awkwardly shy mannerisms. "Do you really think I'd show up at a social event, no matter how small, without a date?"

Harry shook his head, but didn't look up.

Draco turned again for his car.

"Will you bring Theo?" Harry's voice was barely audible.

Draco sighed softly and opened the car door. "Hermione told you about him?" He set his bag on the driver's seat and looked over his shoulder.

Harry shook his head. "Ron."

Draco laughed, genuinely amused at the idea of Ron Weasley gossiping about him. "Should've known." He turned around to face Harry.

"Is he…" Harry finally looked up at the blond. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I don't really think that's your business…do you?"

Harry blushed again. "Not really, but I was only asking."

Draco leaned against the door of his car and folded his arms over his chest. _My God, it's fun to make him squirm._ "Since you asked so nicely…no, Theo is not my boyfriend."

Harry visibly relaxed, though he tried to hide it.

"And it won't be him that I bring to the party." He climbed into the car, done with the conversation.

"Oh, okay…I'll…" Harry raised his hand in a half wave. "Goodbye, Draco."

Draco felt that familiar tightness in his chest that he had hoped would never return. But all it took was Harry saying his name to bring it back. "Bye, Harry." He gave him a small smile then shut the door and quickly drove away.

He growled softly to himself as he pulled out his phone and dialed Blaise. "We have some work to do. I _am_ _not_ showing up at Hermione's party without a date, and no, I'm not calling Theo. Figure something out fast. I'm on my way over." He hung up the phone and gripped the wheel as he sped down the road.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Thanks for reading everyone! I'm working diligently on the next chapter. There's a slight chance it will be up tonight, but most likely it will be tomorrow. In the meantime…please let me know what you think!_


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Okay, two in one day should make up for the shortness of the chapters…at least I hope so. So, here we go…_

*.*.*.*

- September 19th -

"You know what you're doing, yeah?" Draco looked over at the tall, sandy haired man that stood in front of him. _Blaise has pretty good taste, I must admit._

Cedric Diggory smiled as he straightened Draco's tie. "I've got it under control, I promise. No one will suspect a thing."

Draco took a deep breath. "I really appreciate you doing this."

Cedric laughed softly. "It's really not much of a stretch to pretend that I'm completely smitten." He smoothed down Draco's shirt and stepped back. "You are stunning, Draco. Being your date is definitely my pleasure."

Draco blushed lightly and smiled. He had been a bit wary when Blaise had told him of Cedric, who worked with Pansy at the museum downtown. He had expected a boring, antisocial geek to show up at his door, but was pleasantly surprised by the attractive man with the heart stopping smile and shining hazel eyes who had appeared instead. Cedric had easily agreed to Draco's plan of feigning a two month relationship. And Draco couldn't help but think there was some promise there. He did not, however, feel the need to tell him about Harry and their past.

"Shall we get going?" Cedric asked as he headed for the door.

Draco grabbed Hermione's gifts and started to follow.

Cedric stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned back to Draco. "You know, I've been thinking," he said softly as he took Draco's arm. "We should probably kiss in front of people if we want them to believe that we've been dating for awhile."

Draco tried to hold back the smile that threatened to overtake his face. "You think so?"

Cedric nodded and stepped closer to Draco. He put his hands on the blond's waist. "We've spent pretty much all day together, getting to know one another and perfecting our stories, but we haven't perfected the most important part. And I don't know about you, but I don't really fancy having our first kiss in a room full of your friends."

"That could be awkward."

"So, we might as well get the first one out of the way. Don't you agree?"

"I see no flaws in your argument."

"Good." Cedric leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Draco's lips.

Draco's breath caught momentarily. He sighed softly and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. _This is good. This is very, _very_ good._

Cedric eventually pulled back and gazed down at the shorter man. "That was nice." He licked his lips and smiled. "Think there will be opportunity for more of that in the future?"

Draco smirked and led Cedric out the door. "I think we can probably work something out."

*.*.*.*

Draco pulled the car into the lot and put it in park. He glanced at the clock on the dash. 7:40 pm. Ten minutes late wasn't late enough to be rude, but he didn't want to be any later than necessary. He grabbed the gifts from Cedric's lap and jumped out, slamming the door behind him. "Come on, we're late."

Cedric caught up to him in front of the restaurant and grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop. "Calm down," he said with a soft smile. "Don't you want to make an impression when you walk in?" He smoothed out Draco's disheveled clothes and tucked the stray blond locks behind his ears.

"I always make an impression," Draco said with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sure you do." Cedric leaned in and kissed him gently. "Now…why so nervous?"

Draco swallowed hard. He couldn't tell Cedric that he was nervous about seeing Harry. This was the first social event that both he and Harry had been invited to. It was the first time he was given advanced warning about Harry being somewhere that he would also be._ I think I like being surprised better._

Cedric took Draco's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Relax. Tonight will be perfect, I promise." He kissed the pale hand that was gripping his, then guided him into the building.

Hermione's birthday dinner was being held in a small private room at the back of the restaurant, so they bypassed the hostess and made their own way there.

Draco hung back in the doorway for a moment in order to observe his friends – and enemies – and prepare himself for anything that may come.

Even though it was a small dinner party of only twelve people, Hermione had made little name tags and set them out at each seat. Every seat at the long table was taken, except two, which Draco knew were for him and Cedric.

Hermione and Ron sat next to each other at the middle of one side. At Hermione's left sat Harry and then Oliver. To Ron's right were a couple that Draco had never officially met, but had seen a few pictures of at Hermione and Ron's house. Luna Lovegood was next to Ron and Neville Longbottom sat at the end. _Ugh… what unfortunate names._

Pansy was sitting across from Hermione and Blaise across from Ron. Next to Blaise was Seamus Finnigan, who Draco knew through his father. Seamus was the manager of one of the many high class restaurants owned by Lucius Malfoy. Next to Seamus was his girlfriend, Lavender Brown. Draco recognized her from her picture in the paper. She was the city's most popular gossip columnist.

The only free seats at the table were directly across from Harry and Oliver.

Draco sighed softly to himself as he finally looked at the two people he least wanted to see. He tried to keep the look of surprise from his face as he watched them interact, unaware of his observations.

The two dark haired men were turned slightly towards each other and Oliver was holding one of Harry's hands in both of his. Harry had a huge smile on his face as he talked low, so only Oliver could hear what he was saying. Oliver started laughing and leaned forward, pressing his face into Harry's neck. He whispered something and Harry started laughing with him, which sent a jolt of electricity up Draco's spine. The blond let go of Cedric's hand and adjusted his jacket before looking back at the seemingly loving couple.

Oliver lifted his head and his eyes were sparkling as he looked at Harry. He smiled softly as he lifted his hand and stroked Harry's cheek. "I love you," he mouthed, then leaned forward to give him a long, slow kiss.

Draco suddenly felt nauseous and quickly looked away.

"Draco!" Hermione squealed as she jumped up from her seat.

Draco's face colored and he glanced quickly at Harry, who was now sitting back in his chair, his back rigid as he stared down at his and Oliver's entwined hands.

Draco composed himself and held his arms out to the small brunette who was bounding towards him. He let out a soft grunt as she threw herself into his waiting arms. "Happy birthday," he laughed, then kissed her head.

She stepped back and smiled up at the blond before turning to his date. "You must be Cedric," she said as she extended her hand to him.

Cedric smiled as he took her hand and brought it to his mouth. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hermione. Pansy has told me all about you."

She squeezed his hand and let go. "And aren't you two quite the lovely couple?" She winked at Draco.

Draco blushed and glanced at Harry and Oliver again.

Oliver had turned and was talking to Seamus who was crouched down beside him.

But Harry was sitting, his arms folded tightly over his chest and a deadly glare was being directed at Cedric. The brunet saw Draco looking at him and gave him a long, hard stare before finally looking away, his cheeks flushed pink.

Draco's breath caught at the obvious jealousy that was radiating from Harry and he almost regretted his plan to bring Cedric along. Almost.

"Come sit," Hermione said as she led them to the end of the table. There were quick introductions given to those that didn't know the two of them.

"Potter," Draco said with a sharp nod.

"Malfoy," Harry said with a nod of his own.

Draco finally let his eyes settle on Oliver. He fought against every instinct he had and tried to keep in mind the scene he had witnessed just moments earlier. In that one moment, he had seen a small glimpse of what Harry must see in him; not that that excused any of Oliver's past behaviors. Draco plastered a fake smile onto his face and extended his hand, eager to be the bigger man in this situation. "We never officially met. Draco Malfoy."

Oliver managed a smile of his own and stood. "Oliver Wood," he said as he took Draco's hand. "I apologize for any prior…misunderstandings."

Draco had to hold back a bitter laugh. "Forgiven," he said as the let go of each other's hands. He turned to Cedric and took his hand. "Potter…Oliver…this is Cedric Diggory."

Harry raised an eyebrow and stood, though he didn't seem happy about it. "Nice to meet you."

Cedric gave Harry a huge smile as they shook. He then shook Oliver's extended hand. "You two make a lovely couple."

Draco bit down hard on his tongue and managed to disguise his cringe as a cough.

They all sat down, Draco across from Harry and Cedric across from Oliver.

Pansy leaned into Draco and lightly kissed his cheek. "Are you alright, darling? You look pale."

Draco nodded and turned his head so his lips were close to her ear. "Why'd she sit us by them?"

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "I told her what was going on and she decided to keep you close to Harry. She's rooting for the two of you harder than anyone else, I think." She laughed softly at the look on his face and took his hand in hers. "She just wants you two to spend some time together."

"But with Oliver?" He glanced across the table just in time to see Harry kiss Oliver's cheek and lean his head on his shoulder. His stomach flip flopped and he looked back at Pansy.

"Her theory is that they are due for another breakup very soon. If you're there to pick up the pieces and the both of you manage to stay put and don't run out on the other, then maybe you can have your happily ever after."

Draco snorted. "This is not a fairy tale, Pans…and maybe I don't want to be there to pick up the pieces. Maybe I just want to see what happens with Cedric."

She gave him a look of surprise. "Really?"

He nodded, though he didn't really believe it himself. "He's a nice guy…attractive…good kisser."

Her eyebrows shot up and she gasped. "You already kissed him?"

He smiled and nodded.

"Wow…well then…good for you!"

Draco laughed and kissed her hand before turning back to face Cedric. "How are you doing?"

Cedric took his hand. "I'm fine. You?"

Draco nodded. "I'm fine as well."

Cedric smiled and leaned in to place a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. "Good to hear."

Draco couldn't help but smile back at him.

"So, how long have you two been together?" Oliver suddenly asked.

Draco looked up at Harry's boyfriend and cleared his throat. "Well, it's been about two months now." He didn't look directly at Harry, but from his peripheral vision, he could see the look of shock on his face.

Draco had chosen two months because he knew that Harry would quickly come to the conclusion that they had been dating when he had run into Hermione and Ron while out with Theo. He wanted Harry to think he had been easily replaced and by multiple men. It was a childish and ridiculously immature plan, but it was already doing wonders for his battered ego.

"How did you two meet?" Oliver leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.

"I work at the museum with Pansy," Cedric told them. "She brought Draco in one day to see some of the restorative work she was doing and I was immediately smitten." He gave Draco an adoring look and kissed his cheek.

Draco saw Harry's face turn pale as he looked away.

"What about you, Draco?" Oliver asked. "Were you immediately smitten as well?"

Draco's eyes were still on Harry, who turned to look at him, waiting for his answer.

He nodded as he stared into bright green eyes. "I was," he said softly. "It was his eyes."

A small smile tugged at Harry's lips and he blushed and looked down at his hands.

Draco turned and smiled at Cedric, hoping that no one had caught on to the moment he had just shared with Harry.

Cedric squeezed his hand and gently bumped Draco's shoulder with his.

Oliver, who had clearly started drinking already if the glassiness of his eyes was any indication, leaned back in his chair and put his arm around Harry's shoulder, pulling him close.

Harry allowed himself to be pulled closer, but he couldn't stop glancing at Draco.

They ordered their food and drinks and Ron gave a toast to his fiancé. They dug into their meals and went through many bottles of wine.

By the time dessert came, Oliver was pretty tipsy, if not completely wasted, and he had dragged Cedric to the other end of the table to talk to Neville and Seamus about something that Draco had absolutely no interest in.

The blond sat back in his chair and watched his friends. Pansy and Hermione were heavily in conversation, as usual. Ron and Blaise were sitting at the table talking to Luna about her most recent art show. And Lavender had cornered Harry and was drilling him about his knowledge of old films.

Draco stood and made his way out of the private room and down a dim hallway to the bathroom. He relieved himself, washed his hands, checked his appearance in the mirror, then opened the door to leave.

Harry put his hands on Draco's chest and pushed him back into the room. He locked the door behind him and shoved Draco into the wall, attacking his lips with his own and sliding his tongue into the other's willing mouth.

Draco moaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around the brunet, pulling him as close as possible.

"I hate when he kisses you," Harry hissed at him as he brushed his lips over pale skin.

Draco groaned and slid his hands to Harry's arse, pulling his hips tighter against him. "So, now you know how it feels."

Harry pulled back the collar of Draco's shirt and licked at his collar bone before biting down, hard.

Draco let out a soft cry as he buried his hands in Harry's thick hair and pulled him up into a deep, rough kiss. He sucked on the brunet's lower lip as he walked him backward until he was pressed against the sink. He let go and forcefully turned Harry around so his back was to his chest. He pinned him against the counter and began to kiss his neck, looking up into the mirror to watch the other man's facial expressions as he moaned and ground back against him.

"I want you," Harry mumbled. "God Draco…I need you…_now_."

Draco turned Harry around and started undoing the man's pants. "We have to make it fast," he said as he leaned in to press their lips together in a sloppy, desperate kiss.

Harry nodded his agreement and frantically tugged at Draco's belt, pulling it from the belt loops and tossing it on the floor. "I've been waiting for almost two months to have you inside of me again, believe me, it's going to be fast." He attached his lips to Draco's neck, though he was careful not to leave any incriminating marks above the neckline, and pushed the blond's pants down over his hips. He shoved Draco away and hurriedly pulled his own pants down. Turning back towards the sink, he leaned forward on his elbows and looked back over his shoulder. "Do it."

"I don't have any lube." Draco ran his hand over the small of Harry's back and the slight curve of his hip. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not going to hurt me. Just do it!"

Draco pressed himself against Harry's back and brought his hand up to the brunet's mouth, holding up three fingers. "Suck."

Harry took Draco's fingers into his mouth and began to suck and lick at them, liberally coating them with saliva.

Draco kissed the back of Harry's neck, soothing away the small whimpers and groans as he prepared him. He looked up into the mirror to see Harry's eyes were shut tight, his mouth open as he panted and pressed himself harder against Draco's fingers. "Harry…look at me."

Harry opened his eyes and held eye contact as Draco spit into his hand and coated himself before pushing into the smaller man's body. They both moaned loudly.

"Harry," Draco gasped.

Harry pushed back against him and grunted as he slapped a hand against the mirror, bracing himself. He never took his eyes from Draco's. He whimpered, then moaned again as Draco slid all the way inside him. "Oh, fuck," he cried, his shaking hands moving to clutch at the edges of the counter. He let out a long, deep moan.

Draco clamped a hand over Harry's mouth to quiet his moans as he began thrusting slowly in and out of him. _So perfect. _"My God, you always feel so…fucking…good," he moaned as he picked up the pace.

Harry reached up and behind him, resting a hand on the back of Draco's neck. He turned his head and kissed him hard, groaning and gasping into his mouth.

Draco pulled back, desperate for breath and began pushing faster, in and out. He looked into the mirror and into wide, green eyes and felt his orgasm coming faster than he had expected. "Shit," he gasped as he buried his face in Harry's neck.

"Harder," Harry begged him.

He returned his hand to Harry's mouth and thrust faster and harder while sliding his free hand down to grip Harry's cock. He tried to time his strokes to match his thrusts, but he was quickly losing control.

Harry suddenly stilled, then his body jerked and trembled beneath him. He cried out loudly into Draco's hand as he came. He mumbled Draco's name and leaned his head back against the blond's shoulder, turning his head and kissing his neck.

Draco squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Harry's muscles spasm and clench around him. He turned and pressed his lips against Harry's and cried out into his mouth as he came harder than he had ever come in his life. He stilled, but his grip on the smaller man didn't lessen. "Harry," he breathed softly.

Harry buried his face in Draco's neck and took a deep breath. "That was incredible," he said as he pulled Draco's arms tighter around him.

Draco kissed Harry's neck again and again, not wanting to let go. He sighed softly. "I guess we better get back." He reluctantly let go.

"I need to clean up first." Harry continued to lean on the counter for a moment before finally forcing himself to stand up straight. He made his way into a stall on shaky legs and shut the door.

Draco cleaned up quickly and straightened his clothes. He heard Harry hiss softly from the stall. "Are you alright? Was I too rough?"

Harry opened the door a moment later and smiled at his blond lover. "No, you were perfect. I just may have some trouble sitting for the next couple days." He laughed softly. "It's…it's been awhile."

Draco gave him an odd look. "Do you and Oliver not have sex?"

Harry blushed and went to the sink to wash his hands.

Draco walked up behind him and slid his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on his shoulder and smiled at his reflection. "It's okay if you don't. I've heard of gay couples that never have sex. They survive off of hand jobs and blow jobs. I know it sounds mental, but it has been known to happen."

"I don't bottom for him," Harry said softly as he looked up at him in the mirror.

Draco stepped back in shock. "You mean…never?"

"Until you…no." Harry dried his hands and turned back to face him.

"Why didn't you tell me? That first night I was…a bit rough." He tucked Harry's hair behind his ear.

Harry shrugged. "I like the way you do it."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

Harry wrapped his arms around his neck. "Positive." He kissed him. It was a long, sweet kiss that almost made them both forget where they were.

They jumped apart when a knock came at the door.

"Oh, fuck," Draco said softly.

Harry looked nervous, but he went to the door and unlocked it. He opened it and sighed in relief as Ron came inside.

"Jesus…it smells like sex in here," Ron said with a frown. He followed Harry's eyes and saw Draco standing there. "Oh, hey, Malfoy." His face turned bright red as he realized what had happened only moments before his arrival.

Draco laughed and slapped Ron on the back.

"Oliver is looking for you," Ron told Harry.

"Is he angry?" Harry asked, looking slightly nervous.

"No, he just wants to tell you about the invite that Cedric gave him."

"For what?" Draco asked in dread.

Ron laughed at the look on Draco's face. "No worries, mate. It's for all of us, actually. He wants to go to some club. Says he knows people there. Oliver is all about it and surprisingly, so is 'Mione."

"Do I look alright?" Harry asked as he turned in a circle for them to examine the state of his clothing.

"Fine," Ron said with a shrug.

"Perfect," Draco said.

Harry stopped and smiled at Draco. He took a step toward him, but then stopped and looked at Ron.

"Don't stop on my account," Ron said. "I like you two together."

Harry grinned at his best friend, then leaned in to give Draco a short, but passionate kiss. He turned and hurried out of the bathroom.

"So…" Ron said with a smirk as he leaned against the sink. "You really dragged my best friend into a bathroom to have sex? At my fiancé's birthday dinner?"

Draco's face was burning with embarrassment. "I didn't drag him in here. He followed me."

"Think Cedric will be okay with it?"

"Didn't Hermione tell you that it's all fake? I just didn't want to show up alone since Harry was bringing Oliver. Cedric and I aren't really a couple."

"Could have fooled me. He's been talking about you all night. And that kiss earlier wasn't pretend, if you ask me."

Draco looked down at his hands, which were still shaking from his earlier pleasure. He frowned and shoved them in his pockets. "I thought you liked me and Harry together."

Ron smiled softly and patted Draco's shoulder. "I do…just be careful with people's feelings, Malfoy. You have way more of an affect on people than you think you do." He vanished into a stall.

Draco slowly made his way back to the private room, Ron's words playing repeatedly in his head. It reminded him so much of his owns words he had written to Harry and he found himself ashamed of his actions.

As soon as he walked in to the dining room, he felt two pairs of eyes on him, green and hazel. He ignored Harry, who was standing and talking to Oliver and looked at Cedric and smiled.

Cedric smiled and waved, then turned back to talk to Lavender and Seamus.

_What the fuck are you doing, Malfoy? Harry will never let go of Oliver, but Cedric…say the word and he's yours._ He felt a smile taking over his face as he took in Cedric's eyes and smile and the way he moved his hands when he talked. _Gorgeous…and he won't disappear on you._ He glanced over at Harry and felt that horrible sinking feeling in his stomach.

Oliver had Harry pressed against the wall and they were kissing, Harry's hands were bunched up in Oliver's shirt as he pulled him closer.

Draco felt sick. To think that only moments ago, they had needed each other so desperately. He shook his head and forced himself to forget about Harry. He went to Cedric and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Are you ready to leave? I'm feeling a bit ill."

Cedric turned to him, concern written all over his face. "Are you alright?" He took Draco's hands.

Draco managed a weak smile and nodded. "I just don't feel well. Maybe I had too much wine."

"You do look a bit flushed," Hermione said as she reached out to touch his forehead. "Oh, Draco, you're warm." She looked at Cedric. "Why don't you take him home? We can all make plans for another day."

Cedric agreed and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Happy birthday. And thank you so much for making room for me at the last minute."

"Anything to make Draco happy," she said softly. She smiled at the blond and hugged him tightly. "I'll kill him if he hurt you again," she whispered.

"No, no…it's fine, 'Mione. He didn't do anything wrong." He squeezed her and let go before taking a quick glance at Harry.

He and Oliver were still against the wall, but now Harry was holding him almost like they were dancing. His chin was resting on Oliver's shoulder and he gave Draco a questioning look.

Draco raised his hand in a slight wave. "Bye," he mouthed to him.

Harry's eyes grew wide and he went to pull away from Oliver, who was by now completely wasted, but Oliver refused to let go. Harry's face fell into a frown and he raised his hand to wave back.

Draco said a quick goodbye to the rest of the party, promised to call Pansy and Blaise, then he dragged Cedric quickly out of the restaurant.

*.*.*.*

"You don't have to leave," Draco told Cedric as they stood in the doorway of his flat.

Cedric smiled and stroked Draco's cheek lovingly. "Why didn't you tell me about you and Harry?"

Draco froze and averted his eyes.

Cedric laughed softly. "Come sit down. Let's talk."

Draco didn't really feel much like talking, especially not about this, but he followed him into the flat. They went into the kitchen and Draco sat down, watching as Cedric filled the tea pot and set it on the stove to heat.

"You can start wherever you would like," Cedric said kindly.

Draco stared at the wall, unable to face the other man. "I don't know where to begin."

Cedric sat down beside him and was silent for a long moment. "It's quite obvious that there is a heavy attraction between the two of you. I think it's obvious to everyone…well, except Oliver." He fell silent again, but only for a short time. "You were lovers?"

Draco nodded, but still didn't look at him.

"Do you love him?"

Draco stopped breathing. It was a question that he had never really allowed himself to dwell on, because the answer terrified him. "I might," he finally said, then took a deep, stuttering breath. "I don't know."

Cedric reached over and took Draco's trembling hand. "Where did you go today when you disappeared?"

Draco tried to pull away, but Cedric held tightly to his hand. He moved his chair closer to Draco and held his hand in both of his. He lightly stroked the blond's palm with his fingertips, trying to calm him. "Relax, Draco," he said with a smile. "I'm not going to judge you." He squeezed Draco's hand. "I can just tell that you need someone to talk to. You can tell me anything."

Draco finally looked up into Cedric's eyes and he felt his own eyes welling up. "We…he followed me to the bathroom." He shifted nervously and cleared his throat. "I didn't mean for it to happen, but… but he was suddenly kissing me and I couldn't…" He looked down at their joined hands. "Fuck…I'm sorry."

Cedric laughed softly and leaned over to pull Draco into a hug. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I knew my part tonight and granted, I may have wanted more once I met you, but you didn't owe me anything, certainly not any sort of fidelity." He pulled back and stroked Draco's cheek. "What happened that got you so upset that you had to leave?"

Draco felt a tight knot developing in his throat and he swallowed hard, trying to clear it. "Every time we're together, I start to think 'this is the time that things will work out for us'." A tear slid down his cheek and he quickly brushed it away with the back of his hand. "When we came back to the room, he immediately went to Oliver and when I looked at them…they were kissing, and…" He hung his head as his tears came faster and took a deep, shaky breath. "It's like…it's like he was trying to erase what had happened." He let out a soft sob, no longer trying to hold it back. "And I started wondering if that's why he always goes back to Oliver after we've been together." He looked up at Cedric and sniffled. "He regrets being with me."

Cedric pulled the crying blond tightly to his chest. "No…Draco, I'm sure that's not true."

"What else should I think?" he mumbled into Cedric's shoulder. "He's ashamed of being with me. He is only ever with me in private and…he…he will never love me." He pulled away and covered his face with his hands as he tried desperately to hold back from sobbing. The pain in his chest was becoming unbearable. _This is so much worse than Blaise._

Draco let Cedric pull him to his feet and into his arms. Part of him hated this almost stranger for making him say out loud what he had refused to even think about for so long. But the other part of him was just thankful for the comfort.

"He'd be a fool not to love you," Cedric said as he stroked Draco's hair and back and held him even tighter. "I wasn't lying when I told Oliver that I was immediately smitten." He pulled away just enough to look down into red rimmed grey eyes. "I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever met and if Harry bloody Potter can't see that, then what good is he anyway?"

Draco gave a small smile at Cedric's outburst. "You're cute when you're angry," he laughed softly.

Cedric kissed Draco's forehead and led him over to the couch. "Sit with me." He sat down on the plush, overstuffed sofa and patted the spot next to him.

"Actually…I think I'm going to go to bed."

Cedric's face fell a bit as he stood. He forced a smile back onto his face and nodded. "Right then…I should probably get going anyway."

Draco stepped closer to him and took his face in his hands. He kissed him gently then rested his forehead against his. "Thank you," he whispered.

Cedric rested his hands lightly on Draco's waist and smiled. "For what?"

Draco pulled his face back. "For everything you've done and said today. You went along with my stupid plan even though you didn't know me." He smiled a soft, sad smile. "You made getting hurt a little less painful. I can't imagine if I had to be alone while feeling what I'm feeling."

Cedric blushed and nodded. "You're welcome."

"Will you stay here with me tonight?" Draco suddenly asked.

Cedric gave him a look of surprise. "Um…sure…but, I'm not ready-"

Draco laughed and held up a hand. "Me neither," he admitted. "I realized today that I haven't been with anyone but Harry since the first time we were together. That's the closest thing I've ever had to a long term relationship." _And God…isn't that fucking depressing?_

Cedric smiled. "Are you sure you want me to stay?"

Draco's face became serious again. "I would just like someone to hold me for one night without the fear that they will be gone in the morning." He blushed lightly and his eyes filled with tears again. "I am so, so tired of being lonely."

Cedric nodded and kissed his cheek. "Let's go to bed then." He led Draco to the bedroom where he held him the entire night and into the morning.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: So, I'm super nervous about this chapter…be honest and let me know what you think!_


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: Hello again, everyone! This one is chock full of angst and drama (surprise!). It also has some major time jumps. Okay…on with the show…_

*.*.*.*

Chapter Six

- October 9th -

Draco was sitting in the window seat of his bedroom with his knees pulled up to his chest and his back pressing against the cool glass.

His hands trembled very slightly as he lit a cigarette and glanced over at the sleeping form of Cedric._ He's such a good man and you're just going to hurt him._

Cedric had stayed with him almost every night since that night three weeks earlier. Draco had enjoyed having him around and was comforted by his strong arms wrapped around him at night. They had taken their time to get to know one another, but tonight, they had finally done it. They had finally given into their desires and had sex. _ Really, really fucking fantastic sex._

What disturbed Draco though was his inability to look Cedric in the eye while he was inside him. He had almost bitten a hole through his lip in order to keep himself from saying Harry's name when he came. Luckily, Cedric himself had been crying out at the same moment, so he hadn't noticed the strangled "Har – " that had escaped Draco's lips before he had been able to stop himself.

Guilt was eating at him and he couldn't believe how violently ill he felt.

"Dray?" Cedric whispered as he stirred. He propped himself up on his elbows and stared at the empty side of the bed where Draco had been lying when he had fallen asleep.

"Over here," Draco said as he lowered his feet to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees.

Cedric rolled over and sat up to face him. He smiled at the blonde and scratched at his messy hair. "Hi," he said softly.

Draco gave him a warm smile. _God…he's beautiful._ "Hi."

Cedric stretched and yawned before leaning over to grab his boxers from the floor. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked as he pulled them up over his hips.

Draco shook his head and looked down at the carpet. "You alright?" he asked, his voice hardly more than a whisper.

Cedric laughed as he walked over and sat down next to him. "I'm a lot better than alright," he said as he lightly bumped Draco's shoulder with his own. He was silent for a moment and when he spoke again, his voice was soft and full of concern. "How about you? How are you doing, love?"

Draco took a long hit from his cigarette and exhaled slowly. "I'm good," he said softly.

Cedric reached out to stroke Draco's hair, letting the baby fine strands slip through his fingers again and again. "You know…it's only been three weeks. Maybe it was a bit too soon?"

Draco looked over at him, a silent apology written all over his face. "Maybe."

Cedric cupped Draco's chin and gently ran his thumb over his lower lip. "There's nothing to regret," he told him. "Don't beat yourself up over your feelings. You feel what you feel and there's nothing you or I can do about it."

Draco smiled and was surprised by the relief he felt. He loved the fact that Cedric had just seemed to know what he was thinking without making him say it aloud. "You always know exactly what to say to me. How do you do it?"

Cedric shrugged and leaned in to kiss him gently. He stood and headed for the door. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." Draco stubbed out his cigarette and followed his new lover to the kitchen. He smiled to himself as he watched him cooking and singing softly to himself._ He really is perfect. As long as he has a little patience with me, this may just work out._

*.*.*.*

- December 21st -

Blaise smiled as he watched his best friend of many years examine himself in the large mirror that hung on the wall behind his desk.

"Have I put on weight?" Draco asked as he turned to the side and placed a hand on his perfectly flat abdomen.

Blaise laughed and shook his head. "I don't think it's possible for you to gain weight. You're probably the same size now as you were when we met."

Draco turned away from the mirror and looked over his shoulder to examine the reflection of his butt. "Are you sure? It's just, Cedric has been cooking for me almost every day for about three months now and I'm afraid I'm going to end up a fat cow and he'll never want to touch me again."

Blaise snorted. "Are you drunk?"

Draco glared at him. "I just want to look good for him."

Blaise walked over to him and wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. "I really don't think Cedric cares what you look like. He loves you just as you are. We all do." He kissed his friends cheek and squeezed him tightly before letting go.

Draco stared at himself in the mirror and couldn't help the smile that developed at Blaise's comment.

He and Cedric had had a rocky start, but they had both held on and within two months they had settled into a happy, fulfilling relationship, complete with a very active sex life that did not include thoughts of Harry Potter. Well, mostly anyway.

Draco knew that Cedric was in love with him, though he had only ever said it when he thought the blonde was asleep. The thought of it usually made Draco happier than he could remember being in years, but he still had days where the guilt ate at him when he realized that he did not love him back. He had very, _very_ strong feelings for the other man, but just knew that it was nothing like what he had felt for Harry._ That's not necessarily a bad thing. _

_Damn it, Malfoy! Don't think about him, not today._ His smile fell and he smoothed down his clothes and turned away from the mirror.

"You alright?" Blaise asked as he looked up from his computer. "You look a bit pale."

"I always look pale," Draco snapped.

"Whoa…what's up with the mood swings?"

Draco sighed and collapsed into the chair at the desk across from Blaise. "Christmas Eve is in three days."

"I'm aware."

Draco fell silent and started straightening up his desk, trying to ignore his best friend's eyes that seemed to follow his every move._ Why is he watching me? Stop it! _"Did Pansy invite Potter to dinner?" he finally asked.

Blaise was silent for a moment. "Would that make you change your mind about coming?" he eventually asked.

Draco forced a laugh. "Of course not. Don't be ridiculous." He went back to straightening his desk, hoping with all his heart that Blaise would say that Harry would not be there. He knew he could control his feelings as long as he didn't have to face him.

"He'll be there," Blaise said softly.

Draco hung his head and breathed deeply, trying to control the racing of his heart. "Why'd she have to invite him, anyway? She knows how I feel."

"Yes, she does," Blaise agreed, though he was sure to keep his voice calm and soft so as not to provoke a fight with his sometimes volatile best friend. "But she also knows that Ron and Hermione are his best friends. Since we are having them to our house this year, we can't really leave him out of it. He's their family."

"I'm weak around him," Draco admitted, though he couldn't bring himself to look at his friend. "I used to be a strong person. I don't know how the hell it happened, Blaise, but he knocked down all my walls. All he has to do is say my name and I'm screwed."

"Literally," Blaise laughed.

"Shut up." Draco glared at him. "What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't get him out of my fucking head and I think it's driving me insane."

Blaise stood and went to Draco's side. "Dray…breathe."

Draco took a deep breath.

"All you have to do is remember that Cedric is there with you. He knows your past and he's not going to let Harry get too close. Between him and me, we'll keep you in line."

"But it shouldn't have to be like that. I'm not a hormonal teenager for fucks sake, I'm an adult and for whatever reason, I don't seem to remember that when he's around. I should be able to control myself, especially since I have Cedric."

"Do you love Cedric?"

"No," Draco said, though he wasn't harsh about it. "But I'm pretty damn close. If Potter would just stay the hell away from me, maybe I could finally let myself fall completely." He looked up at his friend. "I really, _really_ want to fall completely."

Blaise smiled and patted his arm. "Well, this will be the first time that you are around Harry while you have a boyfriend. I bet once he sees that you two are still together, he'll back off completely."

Draco shrugged. "Maybe."

"Speaking of boyfriends…isn't yours supposed to be picking you up on his way home from the airport?"

Draco glanced at the clock which read 3:22 am. "Shit…I'm late." He grabbed his jacket and pulled it on, then wrapped a long plaid scarf around his neck. "Don't forget to lock up," he yelled as he hurried down the stairs. He ran to the door and burst outside to find his boyfriend parked just twenty feet away.

He felt a wonderful tightness in his chest when he looked at Cedric. He was leaning against his car, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. He was wearing a red, hooded sweatshirt and a black scarf, but no coat. His cheeks were red from the cold and his hair was full of snowflakes.

"You're going to catch your death," Draco said as he hurried over to the other man and threw his arms around his neck.

Cedric smiled and opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped by a deep, passionate kiss.

"Mm…I missed you," Draco whispered as he wrapped his arms tighter around the taller man's shoulders. He buried his face in his neck and breathed deeply.

Cedric held him tighter. "I missed you, too," he said as he stroked the blonde's back.

Draco pulled back and smiled up at him. "No more trips out of the country." He kissed him again and let go. "Not even if they want you to examine the Mona Lisa."

Cedric smiled and touched his boyfriend's cheek. "How about next time I just take you with me?"

Draco beamed at him, loving the idea of time away with his man. "It's a deal."

They climbed into the warm car and immediately leaned towards each other for another kiss. Draco rested against Cedric's arm and sighed contentedly. "I'm glad you're here."

Cedric kissed his head. "Me too." He put the car in drive and started the drive home.

"How was your flight?"

"Fairly uneventful."

Draco looked over at him and for the first time noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "You look so tired. You really didn't have to pick me up. Blaise would have driven me home." He rested a hand on Cedric's knee. "I can't imagine how exhausted you are."

Cedric shrugged. "I knew if I went straight home I would fall asleep and then I wouldn't have gotten to see you until morning. And I _really_ wanted to see you." He looked over at Draco and gave him a wink.

Draco moved even closer. "Sure you're awake enough for that, Mr. Diggory?" He ghosted his lips over the other man's neck. "I have eight days of pent up frustration to work my way through. I don't know if you'll be able to keep up with me." He ran his tongue lightly over the shell of Cedric's ear and smiled to himself when he felt his boyfriend shiver against him.

"Oh believe me, I'll manage to stay awake." Cedric stopped the car at a red light and turned to Draco. He pulled him roughly against him and kissed him hard.

Draco moaned softly as his heart thumped painfully against his breastbone. He was grateful he was sitting, because he knew if he had been standing, his knees would have given out. Cedric had never kissed him like that before. It was full of desperation and yearning and love and it made Draco's entire body scream for the other man._ Maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder._

And that was the moment that Draco Malfoy fell in love with Cedric Diggory.

Draco was propped on his elbow as he gazed lovingly down at his sleeping boyfriend. He lightly traced the man's features with his fingertips. His strong jaw. His perfectly shaped lips. His nose, which was just a tiny bit crooked from having been broken a few years earlier. He even traced the shell of his ear and his Adam's apple.

Cedric stirred and sighed heavily in his sleep, the corners of his lips turning up into a slight smile.

Draco's heart swelled as he leaned over to kiss him.

There was a quiet moan as Cedric woke to the brush of soft lips against his. He eagerly kissed Draco back as he slid his arms around the blonde's slim frame and pulled him closer.

Draco sat up straight, straddling Cedric's hips. "Good morning," he said with a smirk. He licked his lips as he stared down at his boyfriend's mouth.

Cedric ran his hands slowly up Draco's legs and to his hips as he smiled back at him. "That it is." He glanced at the clock on the nightstand and laughed as he looked back up at Draco. "Love…it's only 6:30. Have you even slept yet?"

Draco shook his head. "I had better things to do." He leaned in to kiss him again.

Cedric rested his hands on Draco's bare back, holding him close. "What kind of things?" he asked against his lips.

"Watching you sleep…" He kissed Cedric's neck, licking and sucking softly at the sensitive skin. "Listening to you breathe..." He kissed his jaw. "Feeling you next to me…" He kissed him hard on the mouth. "I didn't realize how intensely I missed you until you were back here with me…where you belong." He ran his fingers over his love's mouth before stealing another quick kiss. "I am never letting go of you."

Cedric's hazel eyes were wide and shining with unshed tears as he looked up into sparkling silver-grey eyes. "What has gotten into you? You're never this…sentimental."

Draco smiled and lowered himself to his elbows so their chests were pressed together and their faces were only inches apart. "I need to say something," he whispered, his breath blowing soft and warm over the other's face. "I didn't want to wake you, but I got restless."

Cedric laughed. "That's alright…I never mistook you for a patient man."

Draco grinned and kissed him quickly.

"Go ahead," Cedric urged as he brought a hand to Draco's face.

Draco closed his eyes and pressed his face harder against his lover's hand, loving the feel of his rough fingers against his cheek. He sighed softly and opened his eyes.

Cedric smiled warmly as he waited.

Draco leaned in a little closer, until their lips were almost touching. "I love you," he whispered. "So much." He pressed his lips to Cedric's and kissed him soft and slow, trying to illustrate just how true his words were.

Cedric whimpered softly and clutched at Draco's shoulders, holding him closer and deepening their kiss.

Draco tilted his face back enough to look at his boyfriend and was surprised when he saw a tear rolling down his face and into his messy hair. He smiled as he gently wiped it away.

"Do you mean it?" Cedric asked, his voice shaky and quiet.

Draco raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend's sudden insecurity. It made him a bit uneasy, but he brushed it aside. "I've never been more sure of anything. And I would never have said it otherwise." He sat up. "I love you, Cedric…I really do."

Cedric swallowed hard as he just looked at him.

Draco's good mood was swiftly leaving him to be replaced by a sense of dread. "What?" he asked quietly.

Cedric looked down at his hands. "What about…?"

Draco just stared for a moment, then folded his arms tightly over his chest. _When did it get so fucking cold in here?_ "What about what?" he asked when Cedric didn't continue.

"Never mind." Cedric shook his head and forced a smile onto his weary face before making eye contact again.

"What about what?" Draco repeated, his voice sharper than he had meant it to be.

Cedric turned his head towards the wall and did not respond.

Draco snapped and scrambled to his feet. "What the fuck is going on? I spill my guts out to you and you have nothing to say about it other than that you don't believe me?" He pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed his boots. He sat down on the window seat and slipped them on, not even bothering with socks._ I knew he was too good to be true. Should have kept my mouth shut instead of spouting off all this ridiculous romantic nonsense. I should know better by now._

Cedric sat up and pulled the blanket up around his shoulders. "I never said that I didn't believe you," he said softly.

Draco stood and grabbed a hooded sweatshirt and pulled it over his head. "Maybe not in so many words. But you certainly didn't say that you love me, did you?"

"But I do!" Cedric jumped to his feet and reached for him.

Draco pushed at his boyfriends desperate hands. "I need to go for a walk. Maybe when I get back we can talk about whatever it is that's bothering you." He grabbed his jacket from the chair in the corner.

"Wait!"

He stopped in the doorway with his back to Cedric.

"I…I was going to ask…what about Harry?"

The room was silent for a long time. All Draco could hear was the rush of blood in his ears. "What about him?" he finally managed, though he thought he knew what Cedric was going to say.

"You love him." Cedric's voice was quiet, but he had regained the calm, confident tone that had been one of the first things that Draco had noticed about him.

Draco slowly turned around to face him. "Why do you say that?"

Cedric stared right into his eyes and took a step towards him. "The night I left for Japan…"

Draco nodded for him to continue.

"You called me Harry when you came."

Draco's stomach dropped and he froze in horror, speechless. _No! No, no, no! Not this again, I'm supposed to be past this!_

Cedric finally looked away when Draco's silence became too much. "I tried to brush it off and pretend it didn't happen, but I…couldn't."

Draco cleared the painful knot from his throat. "Understandable," he said softly._ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

"And…I don't think it was the first time either." Cedric sat down on the side of the bed and looked down at his hands. "You fell asleep right after so I just kissed you goodbye and left for the airport. I had hours on the flight to think about it and the hurt and jealousy just ate at me and I became so… angry."

Draco raised his eyebrows. Cedric rarely got angry, and he had certainly never gotten angry with him.

"When I got to my hotel room, I called you immediately and I tried to tell myself that the whole thing had been my imagination, but-"

"It wasn't," Draco admitted as he sat down on the window seat across from him.

Cedric nodded. "I know."

"I'm sorry," Draco whispered. _How do I fix this? I have to fix this before he leaves. I won't be able to bear it if he leaves me._

Cedric nodded again. "I know…me too."

Draco looked up. "What for?"

Cedric's cheeks were burning as he leaned his elbows on his knees and hung his head in shame. "I was with someone else…in Japan."

Draco suddenly couldn't breathe. It was as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the room and he struggled to take in a breath, but couldn't. His lungs and throat burned with need. _This isn't real…it's not happening! He's not supposed to do that to me. Not him. My Cedric would never do that to me._

"I regretted it immediately," Cedric continued, his voice back to the insecure tone that Draco had just heard for the first time a few minutes ago.

_Was that really just a few minutes ago? It seems like forever._

"I hardly slept the entire time I was there. I made myself sick with worry and shame and I couldn't wait to come home to you so I could make things right." Cedric wasn't looking at him, he just kept picking at his fingernails.

Draco watched Cedric's picking, desperate not to think about what the other man was actually saying. _What a horribly repulsive habit that is. I'll have to work on breaking him of that._

"I should have told you immediately. I shouldn't have let you…we shouldn't have made love when I got home. Not without telling you first."

"Why _are_ you telling me?" Draco tried to keep his voice as calm and indifferent as he could, but he could hear the slight tremor and he knew that Cedric could hear it as well._ Harry didn't do this to me. He may have hurt me again and again, but he never made promises and he always admitted when he was leaving._

"Because I love you." Cedric looked up and into steely grey eyes. "I wasn't going to tell you. But when you said that you loved me…I wanted so badly to believe it and I knew we could never be happy unless I told the truth." He wiped quickly at his tearing eyes.

"I think I would have preferred you'd lied," Draco said softly as he stood. "I would still be happy. After all, what I don't know can't hurt me."

"Dray…I'm so sorry," Cedric whispered. He covered his face with his hands and began to cry harder.

Draco rubbed his tired, burning eyes, refusing to cry in front of him. _Never again. I won't cry in front of him and especially not _over_ him. _"I think I'll sleep in the guest room for a bit. I'm suddenly quite tired." He let his shoulders slump as he made his way to the rarely used room down the hall. He didn't bother undressing. He just climbed under the covers, boots and all, and buried his face in a pillow as he began to sob silently.

- December 24th -

Draco woke up on the morning of Christmas Eve hating the world. He hadn't slept in the same room as his boyfriend in three days and tonight he was to face Harry again for the first time in three months.

He sighed and turned onto his side to look out the window. It opened onto a large empty field that was currently covered in a blanket of snow. He closed his eyes to block out the beauty…he wasn't in the mood.

"Knock, knock," a soft, feminine voice came from the doorway.

He kept his eyes closed and feigned sleep. _Go away, go away, go away._

He heard light footsteps across the wooden floor, then felt the dip of the bed. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as fresh tears stung at his raw, burning eyes. He had known that the minute she showed up, and he was sure she would show up, he would lose it again.

"Dray?"

He started to cry softly and quickly wiped at his face.

Pansy pulled the blanket back and slid underneath. She pressed herself against his back and slid an arm under his head to cradle him to her. She wrapped her other arm around him and held him tightly, resting her cheek against his.

Draco took deep breathes and tried to blink away the relentless flood of tears.

"Blaise is worried," she said softly as she stroked his arm. "We're all worried."

Draco pulled her arms tighter around him. "I can't stop crying," he whispered, his voice sounding hoarse. He laughed softly. "I feel so stupid. With the way I'm carrying on, you'd think someone had died." He took a deep breath, filling his senses with the smell of her. He had always loved how she smelled.

She kissed his head and held on tighter. "It's better he told you, yeah?"

"I wish he hadn't." He untangled himself from her arms and turned to face her.

"Oh, Draco," she said softly when she finally saw his face. She reached out to gently wipe away tears from his puffy, bloodshot eyes.

He moved closer to her so they were sharing a pillow and their foreheads were almost touching. He gripped her small hand in his and cleared his aching throat. "I want to forgive him. I know that he was deeply hurt by what I did and I honestly believe that he regrets it and would change it if he could, but I just can't bring myself to say the words. I can't bring myself to talk to him at all."

She kissed his forehead and stroked his dirty, disheveled hair. "Take your time, love. Don't think you have to do this on anyone else's schedule. It's completely up to you this time. Not even Cedric expects you to forgive him so quickly."

"Did you talk to him?"

She nodded.

"How is he?"

She shook her head. "Not very good. But he understands why you don't want to talk to him. He says he'll stay here until you tell him to leave."

Draco rolled onto his back with a great sigh and stared blankly up at the ceiling.

"Was he right?" Pansy asked as she propped herself up on her elbow.

He looked at her in confusion.

"Do you love Harry?"

He looked back at the ceiling and didn't respond.

"If you don't want to come to dinner tonight, I completely understand."

"No, of course I'll be there, just don't sit me by…him."

"I won't." She lay down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Pans?"

"Yes?"

"Am I completely unlovable?" He sniffled softly and turned his face into her hair.

Pansy bit her lip as she rolled onto her side and hugged him. She blinked back tears of her own. "How could you even think that?" she said softly.

He shrugged, but kept his face hidden from her. "Maybe I'm just no good at all of this. Maybe my father was right and love really is just an emotion for the weak."

"Your father is wrong, Draco. That whole 'Malfoy's don't' nonsense of his has to stop. I know that this is painful for you and it's killing me to see you like this, but it's going to get better. And you're going to be so happy, I know it."

He snorted bitterly. "Right."

She sighed softly and kissed his head. "I love you so much."

He managed a small smile. "I love you too."

"And I'm proud of you. You let yourself fall in love so soon after being hurt so badly. There are a lot of people who would have stayed bitter and alone, but you tried to move on."

"And I just got hurt again." He rubbed his face and breathed deeply before sitting up. "Enough of this. I'm up now. I'm going to go take a shower, then I'll force a smile onto my face and I'll be at your party at 6:00 sharp where I'll mingle and be my normally charming self. I'm going to get really, _really_ drunk and I'll just pretend that nothing is wrong and I won't think about it again until tonight." He nodded to himself, pleased with his plan, even though he knew there would be no forgetting anything.

Pansy tried to smile. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

He nodded and climbed out of bed. "Now scoot. Don't you have an animal to cook or something?"

She raised an eyebrow at his forced cheeriness and straightened her clothes. "Alright…I'm trusting you to be okay. So you better tell me if you're not."

He kissed her head and pushed her towards the door. "Go."

She blew him a kiss and closed the door behind her.

He dressed quickly, despite the fact that he was in no hurry to see Cedric. Even though he was planning a shower, he combed out his hair and made sure every strand was in the right place. There was no reason to continue being lazy after all.

"You can do this," he said softly to himself. _Just breathe._ He opened the door and walked out into the hallway, feeling like an intruder in his own home. He paused briefly and stood up straight, shoulders back and head held high before making his way into the kitchen and to the sink. He filled the teapot and set it on the stove.

"Draco."

Cedric's voice hit him in the gut like a lead weight. He swallowed heavily before glancing casually over his shoulder in his direction, though he didn't make eye contact. "Morning," he said with a fake smile. He went to the cupboard and pulled out a mug. "Tea?" he asked, his hand still on the cupboard door.

"Um…sure."

_The insecure voice. I don't like that voice._

Draco pulled out a second mug then leaned against the counter and stared at the stove, waiting for the water to heat.

"I…" Cedric took a tentative step into the kitchen and cleared his throat. "I wanted to give you your gift before I go." He set a small blue box with a white ribbon on the kitchen table.

Draco raised an eyebrow at the gift. "Where are you going?" He still couldn't make himself look at him.

"Well, I uninvited myself from Pansy and Blaise's dinner. I figure I'll spend the day with my sister and her family."

"You hate them," Draco reminded him as he turned to pull the whistling kettle from the stove.

"Yeah…but I don't hate them nearly as much as I love you, so I thought it would be better if I didn't come to dinner. You'll have a better time without me there."

_Stupid watery eyes!_ Draco blinked rapidly and sniffed, though he tried to cover it with a cough. "You really don't have to do that."

"I want to," Cedric insisted, though his tone of voice indicated otherwise. "I just want you to have a nice Christmas."

Draco sighed softly and set the kettle on the counter. He rubbed his eyes and turned around to finally face his boyfriend. "If you don't come, I'll spend all night wondering how miserable you are and I won't be able to have a good time." He folded his arms over his chest and looked at the floor.

"Um…well…don't you want me to be miserable?"

Draco gave a one shoulder shrug. "I thought I did," he said softly as he looked back up at him.

"I'm really, _really_ sorry," Cedric said, his lower lip trembling.

Draco was across the room in a flash, holding Cedric in his arms while the taller man cried. "I'm sorry too," he whispered.

Cedric sobbed into his neck and clutched at the back of his shirt. "I miss you so much I can hardly breathe."

Draco pulled back and gave him a small smile before hesitantly pressing his lips against his.

Cedric's hands were immediately in his hair, holding tightly and pulling him closer as he tried desperately to deepen their kiss.

Draco kept his hands on Cedric's waist as he allowed the kiss for just a moment. Then he pulled away gently and turned back to finish preparing their tea. His heart was in his throat and his hands were shaking as he poured the water, but the crushing pain that had been plaguing him for the last two days was finally easing. It was still there, it was just less.

"Do you…still love me?" Cedric asked in a small voice.

"Yes," Draco said without hesitation. _It wouldn't hurt so badly if I didn't._ He took two tea bags and dunked them in their mugs, then carried them to the table to sit.

Cedric took the seat across from him, his eyes glued to Draco's face. His shoulders were slumped forward and he fiddled nervously with the place mat in front of him. "I should have just said that I love you too."

Draco glanced up, but looked back at his tea to stir in some sugar.

"I ruined it. I've been waiting so long to hear you say you love me and I couldn't just be happy about it." He took the cup that Draco handed him.

"Let's not talk about that right now," Draco said with a frown.

They fell into silence as they sipped their tea and occasionally shot nervous glances at each other.

"How was your day yesterday?" Draco asked. _God…I hate feeling so uncomfortable with him._

Cedric shrugged. "I didn't go to work."

"Then where were you all day?"

Cedric was picking his nails again. "I just walked around for most of the day. I did some shopping then I sat on the bench across the street and just…thought."

"About what?"

Cedric looked up at him. "What I could do to make you forgive me."

"What did you come up with?" Draco asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," Cedric admitted. "What I did was completely unforgivable."

"I wouldn't go that far," Draco said softly. "I'm partially to blame."

"Saying someone else's name during sex doesn't excuse what I did."

"No, it doesn't," Draco agreed. He looked up at his boyfriend and gave him a sad smile. "But if I had said anyone else's name, we wouldn't be here right now, would we?"

Cedric just stared at him in silence before slowly shaking his head. "No. We wouldn't."

Draco sat back in his chair. "Why is that, do you think?"

Cedric's cheeks colored and he shrugged.

"Have I ever given you reason to be jealous or to think that I might leave you for him?" He leaned forward to take Cedric's hand.

"I've been jealous of him since the day we met and I saw how you looked at him. Then you went and had sex with him in the bathroom…" He looked away.

Draco frowned and let go of his hand. "You said at the time that you wouldn't judge me."

"I'm not judging you, I just hate the effect that he has on you."

Draco sighed. "So do I."

"So all we have to do is avoid him for the rest of our lives. Easy." Cedric laughed softly.

Draco laughed, but it faded fast. "He's going to be there tonight."

Cedric nodded and stared down into his tea. "I know." He tapped at the side of his cup with his fingernail. "Are we going to get through this?"

Draco stood and took his cup to the sink. "I really don't know," he said softly as he left the room.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Please review!_


	7. Chapter 7

_AN: Here's a short, somewhat sappy, somewhat angsty one for you guys to go along with this morning's post. Tomorrow's chapter will be much longer and will be all sorts of trouble for our boys…Happy reading!_

*.*.*.*

Chapter Seven

- December 24th -

Pansy opened the door and flashed a brilliant smile at her best friend. Her eyes darted over to Cedric and the smile started to falter, but she schooled her features, pretending to be pleased to see him as well.

Draco followed her down the hall, his heart in his throat and his palms sweating profusely. He discretely wiped them on his dark grey pants and plastered a smile onto his face as they entered the sitting room.

"Breathe," Cedric said softly as he placed a hand on the small of his back. "You'll be fine, love…I know it."

Draco gave him a shaky smile, lifted his head and went to say hello to his friends.

Blaise hugged him tightly in relief when he saw him. He shot angry looks at Cedric, who paled and smartly backed away. Draco explained the situation, calming his friend's fierce protective urges before he took Cedric's hand and led him towards Hermione and Ron.

Draco could tell based on the friendly greetings that they gave that Pansy and Blaise were the only one's to know of Cedric's indiscretions. And he was immensely thankful for that fact.

Cedric and Ron started talking about a game they had both watched on television. Hermione and Draco quickly lost interest in the conversation and wandered away, arm in arm.

She rolled her eyes as she squeezed Draco's hand. "Let's get a drink." She led him to the kitchen.

Draco stopped in the kitchen door, frozen at the sight of wide emerald eyes staring back at him. Of course, he had known Harry was going to be there, and he had mentally prepared as best he could, but he wasn't expecting to see him so soon.

Harry was standing just five feet from him, holding a glass of wine. He gave Draco a quick once over, then looked into his eyes with a soft smile. "Hello, Draco," he said quietly.

It had been three very long months since Draco had looked into those eyes. Three months since he'd heard that voice say his name. His head spun with the intensity of his emotions and he found himself gripping tightly to the back of a chair as his stomach churned. He took a few deep breathes, trying to clear his head and calm his racing heart.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked in alarm. He set his glass down and hurried to Draco's side.

Draco nodded and slowly lowered himself into a chair. "Just a bit light headed," he said softly. _Why am I so dizzy?_ He rubbed his now pounding temples and rested his head in his hands.

"You look pale," Hermione said as she brought him a glass of water.

Despite the utter feeling of sickliness that had hit him, he managed to wait until she turned away to roll his eyes._ I am so sick of hearing that._

Harry chuckled softly at Draco's expression.

Draco looked up at him and couldn't help but smile back. He glanced at Hermione. "I haven't eaten much today." _Or yesterday. Or the day before that._

Harry went to the counter and grabbed a plate. He filled it with a few squares of cheese, some grapes and a couple crackers. "Here, eat this. You'll feel better."

Draco reached for the plate and noticeably shivered when his fingers brushed Harry's. He quickly jerked his hand away, almost toppling the plate in the process.

"Do you want me to get Cedric?" Hermione asked.

Draco stared up at Harry for a minute before clearing his throat and tearing his eyes away. He nodded at Hermione and began picking at the cheese cubes.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Harry asked as he sat down in the chair beside him. He reached out and pushed a few stray strands of hair from Draco's eyes.

Draco nodded and quickly shoved more cheese into his mouth.

"You don't look the same." Harry's eyes were filled with concern. "You've changed. What happened?"

"Nothing," Draco insisted. "I'm the same as always."

"You're not. You look so…sad."

Draco didn't answer. He popped a couple of grapes into his mouth and ignored Harry, concentrating instead on chewing.

Harry's face fell. "He's not making you happy, is he?"

Draco glared at him. "You don't know him, Potter, so fuck off."

Green eyes grew wide for a moment. "What did he do to make you so bitter?"

"Maybe it wasn't him." Draco snapped. "Maybe it was _you_."

Harry stared at him in shock.

"Dray?" Cedric said as he hurried through the door. He stopped and eyed Harry cautiously before looking back at his boyfriend. "Are you alright, love?" He crouched in front of him and placed his hands on his knees.

Draco nodded. "Just got dizzy and a little nauseous for a moment there. I haven't really eaten much in the last few days…so…" He blushed and shifted in his seat, surprisingly uncomfortable with all the attention.

Cedric looked down, unable to keep the look of shame from his face, but he clutched Draco's hand tightly in his.

Draco glanced at Harry and saw the look on the brunette's face as he stared at Cedric. _Shit. He knows something is not right. He can't see our cracks or he'll break his way through. I can't let him break through._ He squeezed Cedric's hand and stood. "Let's get back to the party." He let go of Cedric and hurried into the hallway, letting the door swing shut behind him in his desperate urge to just get away.

"Stay away from him," Cedric hissed from the other room.

Draco froze for a moment and anger flashed through him at the sound of Cedric's words and tone. He moved closer to the door and leaned against the wall to listen.

Harry laughed softly. "Give it a rest, Cedric. Green's not a good color on you."

"Well maybe if I didn't have to worry about you following him to the bathroom, I could just ignore your presence and enjoy my evening."

Draco felt his cheeks flush as he glanced around him, hoping no one else had heard that.

Harry laughed again. "What the fuck is your problem? I know you weren't really dating back then, so it's not like he cheated on you. _He_ would never do that."

Draco held his breath. There was no way that Harry knew. _Pansy could have told Hermione, but she would never…Ron! I'll fucking kill him._

"How do you know about that?" Cedric's voice was almost inaudible.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. "You just told me," Harry finally said, no sense of satisfaction in his voice. If anything, he sounded angry. "How could you do that to him?"

Draco tried really hard not to be pleased with Harry's defense of him, but he couldn't deny that it was a good feeling.

"The same way you did when you dragged my boyfriend into a bathroom to fuck." Draco had never heard such anger in Cedric's voice. "So don't you dare give me your holier than thou bullshit, Potter. I cheated and it's eating me alive with guilt. But you never even _thought_ to feel guilty about what you did to Oliver, did you?"

"There's a difference," Harry said sharply.

"How? You had a boyfriend and you fucked mine while he and I were both there! How is that so different?"

Harry was silent, but when he finally spoke, the intense anger in his voice sent shivers down Draco's spine. "First…he wasn't your boyfriend then. I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I didn't for one second believe that you had been with him for two months. It was obvious that you didn't know him at all. Still don't if you ask me."

"I didn't ask-"

"I wasn't finished," Harry snapped. "Second…don't you ever…_ever_ compare Draco and Oliver. They are not even in the same league."

Cedric snorted. "You think Oliver is that much better than Draco? You're fucking delusional."

"Did I say that?" Harry said softly.

Draco leaned heavily against the wall. His heart was racing again, thumping painfully against his ribs.

"You can't do what you did to someone like him," Harry said, his voice softer. "He deserves better than that."

"You don't understand," Cedric said, his voice also softer. "And it's none of your business anyway, so just keep out of it."

"It is my business because he's my friend." Harry's voice was low and threatening now. "So don't you dare think to tell me to stay away from him. You don't have the right. The only person who has that right is Draco."

Draco was standing frozen in awe when the kitchen door swung open and Harry stormed through. The brunette paused and looked at him, surprised to see him standing there.

Draco gave him a small smile and a nod before pushing off the wall and heading back into the kitchen.

Cedric was leaning back against the counter with his arms folded tightly over his chest. His head was down and his eyes closed as he breathed deeply.

Draco walked over to him and slid his arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly.

"I hate him," Cedric said softly.

Draco laughed and rubbed his boyfriends back. "I can tell." He stepped back and took Cedric's face in his hands. "But you know he's right."

Cedric looked up. "You think you're in a different league as well, huh?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Draco smiled at him. "I am something special, you know." He winked and leaned in to kiss the taller man.

Cedric linked his hands behind Draco's back so he couldn't escape. He kissed him harder.

Draco let himself forget everything and just enjoy the kiss, but it wasn't long before his thoughts got the best of him and he had to pull away. He ran his hands over Cedric's broad chest then brought a hand up to stroke his sandy hair. "You can't tell me who I can be friends with," he said softly.

Cedric made a face. "I know, he just makes me so angry." He rested his forehead against Draco's. "I love you, you know."

Draco smiled and kissed him quickly. "I love you too. But make sure you remember…you can trust me. I promise that Harry is nothing to be jealous of. I won't promise you that there are no feelings there, but you can be assured that they won't affect the feelings that I have for you. Harry and I had our chance and it didn't work out." He kissed him again. "You are who I want," he whispered as his lips brushed lightly against his.

Cedric sighed and his entire body relaxed into Draco's embrace. "I trust you," he whispered then pulled him closer for a long, tight hug.

They separated when someone cleared their throat behind them.

Pansy smiled at the two blushing boys. "Let's eat," she said as she turned back towards the dinning room.

Draco followed Pansy and Cedric into the large room where everyone else was already finding spots at a long, elegantly decorated table.

Blaise was sitting at the far end with an open seat next to him for Pansy. Across from him was Ron, then Hermione. Neville and Luna sat at the other end, leaving one empty eat between them and Hermione and three empty seats on Pansy and Blaise's side of the table.

Harry sat down next to Pansy's seat and set his hand on the back of the chair next to him. He caught Draco's eye and motioned to the chair.

Draco hated the disappointed look in Harry's eyes when he ignored his silent request and sat down at the end of the table. Cedric sat down between them and turned his chair slightly towards his boyfriend and away from Harry.

"Draco…it's so good to see you," Luna said with a dreamy smile as dishes were passed around.

Draco was rather quiet during the meal, choosing instead to just listen to the conversations around him. He noticed with a heavy heart that Harry hardly spoke a word to anyone.

After dinner, Draco leaned into Cedric, who was talking to Luna. "I'm going to step outside for a smoke."

Cedric nodded and continued talking to Luna.

It was almost silent outside. Draco smoked slowly and lit a second cigarette when the first was spent. His eyes roamed the frozen trees that lined the property, hiding them all away from the rest of the world.

"Beautiful night."

He turned to watch Harry walking down the steps to join him. He had a slight smile on his face as he hummed softly under his breath.

Draco couldn't help smiling. "'Carol of the Bells'?" he said with a raised eyebrow. He let his eyes drift back to the snow covered yard. "That brings back memories."

"Seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?" Harry reached out and plucked Draco's cigarette from between his lips and took a long hit. He sighed as he exhaled.

Draco took it back and took another hit. "You seemed so young then."

"So did you," Harry said softly. "Give me a smoke."

Draco dug out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it before handing it over. "Don't you ever have your own?"

Harry shrugged. "Oliver didn't like me to smoke. He said I tasted like an ashtray."

Draco laughed softly. "Where is he?"

Harry shrugged. "I really don't know. We broke up a few weeks ago."

_That's why he seems so healthy._ Draco couldn't make himself say he was sorry, because he wasn't.

"It was time," Harry said softly.

They stood in silence even after they were both done smoking.

Draco sighed and turned to head back inside.

"Was it really my fault?" Harry's quiet voice broke the peaceful silence.

"Was what your fault?" Draco turned back to him.

Harry took a step towards him. "Did I really make you so bitter?"

Draco stared into his eyes. "Are we ready to be completely honest with each other?"

Harry nodded, though he looked wary.

"I really felt something for you, Harry," Draco began as he moved closer. "Something that I had never felt before and had not even known was possible. You threw my entire world out of alignment and then when I needed you most, you were nowhere to be found." He stopped moving when they were only inches apart. "You broke my heart again and again and again and I let it keep happening because being away from you was the worse of the two options."

"Draco, I-"

"No…let me finish before I lose my nerve."

Harry swallowed heavily and nodded.

"You used me, Harry." He could feel the first signs of tears pricking at his eyes and had to hold back a sigh of frustration over his recent emotional instability. "I tried to figure out what I needed to do in order to have you, what I could say to make you stay, but it never was enough. I could never say the right thing or do the right thing. Every second that I spent with you was fucking torture because I was constantly trying to figure out what I could do so you wouldn't leave again."

"You left the last time," Harry reminded him.

"Yes. I left because you said it would be a bad thing to love me."

They stared at each other in silence, neither moving. Just breathing.

"I didn't say that," Harry whispered.

Draco nodded. "Yes, you did."

Harry shoved his hands in his pockets and stared down at the ground, digging the toe of his shoe into the snow. "I didn't mean it."

"But you said it."

"And that was enough to shatter your heart," he quoted softly to himself. "Your already fragile heart." His confusion seemed to fade as he thought about it and Draco saw the moment that the brunette finally realized his reason for leaving that night.

Harry looked up at him, his green eyes wide and filled with tears. "Do you love me, Draco?"

Draco just gazed at him, his face growing softer as he watched tears spill from his ex-lovers eyes. "Would it make a difference either way?" he asked. He reached out and cupped Harry's face with both hands and wiped his tears away.

Harry closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into Draco's cold, pale hand. "It might," he whispered.

Draco stepped closer to him, sliding an arm around his waist to rest on his back, his other hand still cupping Harry's tear streaked face. "I'm sorry, Harry…that's not good enough."

Harry opened his eyes and nodded. He rested his hands on the blonde's shoulders. "I'm really sorry," he said honestly. "About everything."

"I know you are." Draco pulled him against him and rested his cheek against Harry's soft hair. He held him tightly, a part of him not wanting to ever let him go.

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and pressed his face tighter into his chest.

Draco was proud of himself for finally saying everything that he had wanted to say to this man. He held Harry tight and breathed in his scent, but he knew he could walk away if he wanted to._ But do I want to…that's the difficult question._

The two boys held each other for a long time until the peaceful silence was interrupted by a loud squeal, followed by another loud squeal and then shouts and bursts of laughter.

Harry raised his head slowly from Draco's chest to look at the house.

Draco's eyes followed. "What do you suppose that's all about?"

Harry shrugged and reluctantly let go.

Draco immediately missed the warmth of the other man's body and he wrapped his arms around himself to try to ward off the cold.

"Let's go see." Harry hurried up the walkway with Draco following closely behind.

They stood in the doorway and watched as Pansy jumped up and down, squealing and clapping her hands. Tears streaked down her face, but the smile she wore was blinding.

Hermione was currently engulfed in a hug by Blaise, who had lifted her off the ground and was holding her tightly while mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.

Blaise put her down and turned to Ron. He shook his hand, then pulled him into a hug, smacking him roughly on the back in glee.

Pansy bounced over to Hermione and wrapped her arms around her neck. She kissed the smaller girls cheek again and again as Hermione squirmed and tried to escape.

Luna and Neville were standing to the side laughing softly as they watched their friends.

Draco and Harry exchanged an amused look. "Guess we missed all the fun," Draco said.

Cedric came from the kitchen with a tray of glasses and a fresh bottle of champagne.

"What's going on?" Draco finally asked.

"Draco!" Pansy shouted then flung herself into his arms. "Hermione just told us that she's going to have our baby!" She squealed again and hugged him tightly around the neck.

"You're pregnant?" Harry cried, looking confused and a bit hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Hermione laughed. "No, I'm not pregnant yet. I'm going to be Pansy's surrogate."

Harry's mouth hung open in surprise, but it slowly grew into a smile. He hugged his friend and kissed her head. "You're an amazing woman, Hermione Granger."

She blushed and swatted at him. "It's nothing. Any of you would have done the same if you could."

Ron put an arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"Let's celebrate!" Blaise helped Cedric pass out flutes of champagne, then they toasted and celebrated well into the night.

"Maybe this is why I spoke to you that day." Draco sat down next to Harry and they watched as Pansy and Hermione sat huddled together in the corner, both of their eyes shining and their mouths moving a mile a minute.

"Maybe," Harry agreed with a sad smile. He looked over at the blonde sitting next to him. "When am I going to see you again?"

Draco looked at him in shock. "You've never asked that before." He shifted awkwardly in his seat and scratched at his head.

Harry tucked both hands under his legs to keep himself from fidgeting. He stared at the women in the corner. Pansy was crying again. "I wish we could be friends," he said softly. "Like them. Talking and laughing."

"I'm not carrying your child for you, Harry," Draco said with a smile, trying to relieve the tension between them.

Harry laughed and gently elbowed him. "You know what I mean. Spending time together… going to the movies or dinner. I have a phone now, so we can talk whenever we want to." He finally looked at Draco with hopeful eyes. "What do you think? Friends?"

Draco looked over at Cedric who was standing in the corner talking to Ron. Cedric looked at him, then at Harry, then back at Draco. He gave the blonde a hesitant smile.

Draco winked at him, then finally looked at Harry. "I'm in love with him," he said softly.

Harry's breath caught, then his cheeks turned a bright pink and he looked away. "Oh," he said softly.

"He's a good man," Draco said as he touched Harry's arm. "But he's insanely jealous of you."

"Jealous enough to cheat on you?" Harry mumbled, more to himself than to Draco.

"That's not fair," Draco said softly. "We've had our problems, but he's always been there for me. He's good to me. And he's good _for_ me."

"And I'm not," Harry stated matter-of-factly.

Draco didn't respond to that. "So, I just think it's best that you and I keep it casual. We'll see each other a few times a year. Holidays and birthdays…the occasional wedding."

"That's not enough for me." Harry was staring into the fireplace, a look of pure devastation on his face.

Draco put his arm around him and kissed the side of his head. "I'm sorry, but it's going to have to be." He squeezed the smaller man's shoulder then stood and made his way to his boyfriend.

"What was that at all about?" Cedric asked with a raised eyebrow.

Draco smiled and tilted his head up. "I was saying goodbye to him," he said before giving Cedric a soft kiss.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Please review! Thank you for reading!_


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: Hello again everyone! Three in one day! That's what your reviews prompt me to do. Hope you all appreciate it._

_A quick note about the point of view in this story in response to a review that I received. The entire story is already written and it will all be from Draco's point of view. I know it can be frustrating not knowing what Harry is thinking, but I personally think that's part of the fun. Hope you all enjoy it anyway!_

*.*.*.*

Chapter Eight

- April 22nd -

Draco loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt. He had already lost the jacket due to the surprising warmth of the reception hall. No one had expected such a warm sunny day in late April, but if anyone deserved such pleasant weather on their wedding day, he was sure it was Ron and Hermione.

He smiled as he watched Cedric twirling the bride and swinging her around. Her smile was radiant and her cheeks were flushed, her laughter ringing out through the large ball room.

"Reckon she's pleased not to have me stepping on her toes anymore," Ron said as he dropped into the seat next to Draco.

Draco laughed and patted his friend's arm. "You are possibly one of the most uncoordinated dancers I've ever seen. It really was quite brilliant."

Ron glared at him playfully. "I don't see you doing any dancing, Malfoy."

The blond shrugged. "I only dance at gay bars. I've been told I'm obscene and we wouldn't want to scare the children." He drank down his seventh glass of champagne.

His eyes scanned the crowd, searching for a head of messy black hair and intense emerald green eyes. _Damn it, Malfoy! Stop looking for him._

"I don't know where he is," Ron said softly.

Draco looked at him. "I…what?"

Ron flagged down a passing waiter and took two glasses of champagne from the tray he was carrying. "You've been looking for him for two hours now. I was just saving you the trouble of asking where he went."

Draco snorted and shook his head, the alcohol making his head spin a bit. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Weasley." He couldn't help the blush that heated his face. _I'll just blame it on the alcohol if anyone asks._ He set his eyes back on Cedric, who was now dancing with Ron's little sister Ginny.

"He vanished after we cut the cake. Didn't say a word to me or Hermione." He handed one of the glasses to Draco.

"I don't really care what he does," Draco said softly. He swallowed down the entire glass in two gulps. _I really need to slow down._

"I saw him eyeing one of the waiters earlier. Maybe he got lucky."

Draco frowned at the thought. He had done so well over the prior four months. He hadn't seen Harry since Christmas Eve and he told himself daily that he was pleased with that. It had taken some time for his relationship with Cedric to even out and become strong again, but by January they had started sleeping in the same bed again and by February, they had started having sex again. He had everything that he wanted…or so he told himself. He didn't allow himself to dwell on it, because when he did, he became painfully aware that something was missing from his life. Something that he was beginning to think was very necessary.

Draco stood. "I'm going to go outside and have a cigarette. Tell Cedric if he asks."

He walked out of the reception hall and into the dim, quiet corridors, but he didn't head straight outside. He wandered the halls with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

There were a pair of French doors at the end of a long hallway and he made his way towards them and out onto a balcony. He closed his eyes as the breeze brushed his hair across his forehead and neck and cooled his alcohol heated skin.

"Beautiful night," a quiet voice said behind him.

His heart leapt into his throat and he turned, expecting to see Harry.

Blaise was leaning against the door frame with his arms folded over his chest.

Draco sighed and turned around, leaning on the railing and looking down the two stories to the ground.

"Are you alright?" Blaise rested a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Too much to drink," Draco said with a soft laugh.

"Dray…don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"I love Cedric," he said softly as he tilted his head back and looked up at the star filled night sky. "I really, _really_ love him."

"I know you do." Blaise turned around and leaned back against the railing. "_But_…"

Draco took a deep breath. "But…I have this unhealthy obsession that's keeping me from being truly happy."

"An obsession named Harry Potter."

Draco nodded. "Even you saying his name…it feels like someone grabbed my heart and squeezed."

Blaise laughed.

Draco sighed heavily and walked over to a bench in the corner where he sat and leaned his head against the cool stone of the wall. "I worry about him all the time. I have dreams about him. There are times when I have to make myself be silent during sex because I know if anything comes out of my mouth, it will be his name, and I never want to go through that again." He looked down at his hands. "Don't get me wrong, it's not all the time, but not a day goes by where I don't at least think about him."

"It'll fade with time," Blaise promised as he sat down beside him.

"No. I really don't think it will." Draco rested his head on Blaise's shoulder and closed his eyes. "When I saw him walking down the aisle today, I almost passed out."

Blaise laughed again and took his friends hand.

"He looked so beautiful. I don't even remember the vows or anything. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him."

"Hope you paid better attention at my wedding."

Draco laughed. "All I could think at your wedding was how good it felt when you were inside of me."

Blaise blushed heavily and squeezed Draco's hand.

"You're the only person I ever let do that to me, you know." He kissed his friend on the cheek then settled his head back on his shoulder. "You're the only one I trusted enough."

"Not even Cedric?" Blaise asked in surprise.

"No…though he has hinted that he'd like to."

"Would you with Harry?"

Draco was silent for so long that Blaise was beginning to wonder if he had fallen asleep. "Do you think Harry loves me?" His voice was so soft and quiet that Blaise almost didn't hear him.

"I really don't know. Do you think he does?"

"Sometimes I think he might. Then other times I'm fairly sure that he doesn't." He cuddled closer to his friend. "He probably hates me anyway. I chose Cedric over him and all but told him he was no good for me. When I close my eyes at night, I just see his sad eyes staring back at me and see the hurt I caused in them."

"He hurt you too."

"I know." Draco sat up and put a hand on the wall to steady himself when his head began to swim. "I haven't drank this much in a really long time." He slowly climbed to his feet and went back to the railing where he lit a cigarette. "I forgot that I was an emotional drunk." He laughed softly, but there was no humor in it.

"I should get back to Pansy. Are you going to be alright out here by yourself?"

Draco nodded and shooed him.

Blaise kissed his friends head then went off to find his wife.

Draco looked over at the bench and spotted the half full bottle of champagne that his best friend had left behind. He flicked his cigarette over the railing and grabbed the bottle. He took a long drink, then wandered away, clutching the bottle tightly to his chest.

A half hour later, he had almost finished off the entire bottle and all he could think about was a place to lie down. "Hark to the bells," he sang softly to himself. He stumbled, but caught himself at the last minute. "Hark to the bells…sweet silver bells…" He hummed a couple more lines then stopped at the staircase that led up to the third floor of the large banquet center.

He sniffed the air, hesitant to believe that he smelled what he thought he smelled. _Is that pot?_ He hadn't smoked in years, but he had a sudden craving. So he set his now empty bottle on the bottom step and slowly started up the stairs.

When he reached the top, he tripped on the last stair and fell onto his hands and knees. He giggled as he got to his feet, not even noticing the rug burns on his palms. "Throw cares away…" he continued singing as if nothing had happened. "Ding dong, ding dong." He giggled again to himself, then let out a soft snort which made him laugh even harder. "Ding dong," he said softly, laughing again.

He heard a muffled snicker behind him and spun around quickly, looking for the culprit. "Who's that?" he mumbled. "Are you smoking pot?" He slowly walked forward, his head spinning. He swayed a bit before stumbling into the dark room he had been headed for.

Strong arms grabbed him from behind and righted him before he managed to fall flat on his face. The smell of marijuana was much more distinct in this room and he inhaled deeply, filling his senses with the scent.

The second thing he noticed was the fact that he could not see a thing. There were no lights on in this room and the hallway was too dim to make a difference. But he didn't care. All he cared about were the strong arms that held him tightly and the warm breath that was blowing lightly in his ear. He wasn't sure why, but he felt himself tearing up. He bit his lip and let out a quiet moan as he turned himself around and wrapped his arms around the neck of the man that held him. "Touch me," he whispered before pressing his mouth to theirs in a clumsy, awkward kiss.

There was a groan as he was pushed up against the wall. Hands were frantically tearing at his shirt and pants, desperately seeking the skin hidden beneath. Cedric had never touched him like this. Cedric had never needed him so badly. _This isn't Cedric._ He suddenly realized that he didn't care.

Draco gasped as a hand slid into his pants, tightly grabbing his rapidly growing erection and stroking him fast and hard. "Oh, fuck," he moaned as he thrust his hips against the strong hand that gripped him.

The other man kissed him again and Draco sucked at his lips and tongue, savoring the taste of whiskey and smoke. _Not like Cedric. Cedric always tastes so clean._ Draco gripped the man's thick hair and kissed him harder, biting down on his bottom lip. He felt a tear rolling down his cheek, but tried to ignore it since he had no idea why he was crying.

He tilted his head back and whimpered quietly as a mouth latched on to his nipple, sucking and nibbling gently. The hand that stroked him slowed.

"No…fuck, no, please don't…don't stop." He tried to reach down between them to help speed things along, but his hand was pushed aside. "_Please_," he begged, then cried out as teeth bit down on his overly sensitive nipple, sending ripples of pleasurable pain through his body.

He reached for the other mans shoulders to pull him back up into a kiss, but the man dropped to his knees and pulled Draco's pants down around his ankles. Rough hands roamed up his thighs and between his legs, cupping him and stroking him.

Draco gasped and bucked when he felt a warm tongue slide up his length. Then a hot, wet mouth was swallowing him whole and he was in heaven.

His whole body trembled with desire and his legs were growing weak beneath him. He gripped at the kneeling man's hair, desperate for something to hold him up. Tears still streamed down his face and onto his hands, some even landing in the others hair.

All too soon, he felt the tingling in the soles of his feet and an almost painful tightening in his groin. His body tensed as he began to pant heavily. _So close…so…fucking…close. _"Harry," he whispered. "Harry, please…"

The frantic sucking and licking stopped for only a moment before the kneeling man returned to his task with renewed vigor, humming softly and cupping Draco's balls. He took Draco all the way in and sucked hard as he slowly pulled back.

"I'm coming," he gasped. "Fuck…_Harry_…" His breath hitched then he cried out as he tightly gripped the other man's hair and thrust hard, emptying himself into his mouth while his body shook violently. He groaned as the man's tongue gently caressed him, trying to draw out his orgasm for as long as possible. "Jesus." When the man finally pulled away, Draco slumped and let himself slide down the wall into a sitting position, his legs sprawled carelessly in front of him. He breathed deeply as he tried to remember the last time his heart had raced like that. _Hermione's birthday dinner. The last time with Harry._

He could hear the quiet sounds of shifting beside him and reached out a hand blindly to find the faceless man who had given him so much pleasure. He searched for a moment before his fingers came in contact with a solid chest. He let his hand slowly move up until he was touching the other man's face. He ran his thumb over a full bottom lip then he leaned forward and kissed him, tasting himself on the others tongue.

"Why are you crying?" A trembling hand stroked Draco's face.

Draco began to sob openly when he finally heard the voice he had wanted to hear. He moved forward on his knees until he was pressed flush against Harry. "I missed you," he whispered as he hugged him around the neck and buried his face in his shoulder. "My God, Harry…I missed you so much." He squeezed him tighter. "Harry, hold me."

Harry stroked his back and hair as he whispered nonsense into the blond's silky hair. Draco wasn't sure what he was saying, but the soft sound of Harry's voice soothed him and his tears finally stopped.

Draco lifted his head and tried to make out Harry's face in the darkness. He ran his fingertips over the brunet's lips and nose and cheek bones, marveling at the softness of his skin and the smooth contours of his face. "I need to see you," he whispered.

Harry kissed him gently, then pulled away just enough to reach a table lamp. He flipped the switch and dim light shone on him, revealing the concerned look on his face.

Draco's eyes filled with fresh tears as he stared up at the man he hadn't spoken to in almost four months. "Harry," he said softly, his voice filled with relief.

Harry took the blond's hands and pulled him to his feet. He helped him with his pants then stood there with one hand on Draco's waist and the other on his cheek. "Are you alright?"

Draco gave him a dazzling, watery eyed grin then nodded slowly. "I was looking for you," he told him, unable to look away from those deep green eyes. "Everywhere…you vanished."

Harry took Draco's hands and the blond suddenly became aware of the carpet burns he had received when he fell on the stairs. He looked down at his palms. "I fell," he said softly, then hiccupped.

Harry smiled and nodded. "I saw." He brought both of Draco's hands to his face and kissed each palm softly.

"I'm…" He hiccupped again and laughed softly. "I think I'm pretty drunk." He took a deep breath to try to stop the hiccupping.

Harry nodded and his face fell as he backed away. "I know. And that just makes what I did even more wrong." He sank down onto the couch and sighed heavily.

Draco swayed where he stood, partially due to the large quantities of alcohol he had consumed, but also due to the trembling that still wracked his entire body. He stumbled over to the couch and sat down heavily beside Harry.

Harry was rubbing his face with both hands and his whole body was tense. "I'm so sorry, Draco. I saw you coming and then suddenly, you were in my arms…I couldn't help myself."

Draco put a hand on his knee. "I don't regret it," he insisted. He moved closer and sighed happily when he felt Harry's arm drape across his shoulder and pull him closer.

"What about Cedric?" Harry asked.

The room fell silent.

Draco knew that he should feel bad. He had just done the same thing Cedric had, but this was worse in some ways. There had been no feelings involved when Cedric had been unfaithful, but there were definitely feelings involved now. But he couldn't force himself to feel guilty, even though he had a sneaking suspicion that it would all catch up with him in the morning.

Harry kissed his cheek and stroked his hair. "We should forget this ever happened."

"No!" Draco sat up and looked at him. "Harry…no." He looked away and blushed. "I don't want to forget. This is the first time I've felt peaceful in months."

Harry looked at him in confusion. "What is going on with you? Hermione and Pansy both told me that you and Cedric were doing better than ever. If that's the truth, why are you so upset? And why are you here with me instead of downstairs with him?"

Draco could tell Harry was angry, though he wasn't really sure why.

"You love him, don't you?"

Draco nodded, but he still wouldn't look at him.

"He loves you? And he treats you well?"

Draco nodded again and wrung his hands tightly together in his lap._ What is he doing?_

"He makes you laugh and loves your friends and wants to spend the rest of his life with you?"

Draco started to cry again as he nodded.

Harry took both of Draco's hands in his. "Then let him take care of you. Let him love you." He wiped away Draco's tears and tried to smile.

"I love him," Draco said softly, finally bringing his grey eyes up to Harry's green. "I love him, but my God, Harry…I _need you_." He pulled the brunet closer and brushed his lips against his.

After a slight moment of hesitation, Harry took Draco's face in his hands and increased the pressure of their kiss.

Immediately, Draco's hands moved to the buttons of Harry's shirt. His coordination was a bit off, but he managed to get them undone eventually. He slid his hands over Harry's chest, stopping to stroke hard nipples with his thumbs.

Harry moaned softly and let his head fall back. "I've missed this…I missed your hands."

Draco smiled and moved his mouth to Harry's neck where he licked a slow line from his shoulder to his ear. "What else did you miss?"

"Your mouth," he breathed as he turned his head to capture Draco's lips in his.

"What else?" Draco asked, his lips still brushing against Harry's.

Harry pushed damp blond locks from Draco's forehead. "I missed your voice." He kissed him again and slowly pushed him down onto his back. Harry straddled his waist and propped himself up with a hand on either side of Draco's head. "I've never come as hard as I do when you're moaning on top of me."

Draco smirked and reached up to pull the smaller man down on top of him, loving the feel of his body pressing down against him. "I want to be inside you," he whispered. He slid his hands to Harry's belt buckle and slowly started to remove the rest of his clothing.

"We haven't don't this in…" Harry stopped to think.

"Seven months," Draco finished for him, suddenly feeling a bit more sober at the thought of what was about to happen. He stared at Harry with lust filled eyes.

Harry stilled and looked at him. He stroked a pale cheek and white blond hair as he smiled sadly at him. "Seven months," he said in disbelief.

"I won't be able to go another seven," Draco told him. "Tell me now if this is the last time, 'cause if it is, I can't do it."

Harry traced Draco's lips, then kissed him softly and stood up. He went over to the door, which still stood open a crack, and shut and locked it.

Draco, for the first time, looked around the small, windowless room. There were a couple of couches, a coffee table, a couple lamps and a small bar.

"Sitting room," Harry explained as he walked back to the couch. "I needed somewhere to hide."

"From what?"

Harry stared down at the blond who was lounging on the couch, his shirt open to reveal a smooth, pale chest. "I couldn't stand to watch Cedric all over you."

Draco laughed softly. "He was rather affectionate tonight."

"I don't blame him. If you were mine, I would never take my hands off of you." Harry climbed back on top of his once again lover, straddling his hips.

Draco sat up and wrapped his arms around Harry's slim waist. He kissed his chest, his neck, his jaw, his lips.

"I wish we could be like this always," Harry whispered as he closed his eyes.

Draco shifted them, then lowered Harry onto his back and lay on top of him, pressing their erections together.

Harry moaned softly and pulled him into a long deep kiss as he rocked his hips against the blond's.

Not wanting either of them to finish too soon, Draco forced Harry to still his hips. He trailed light kisses up his neck and over his chin until their lips finally met in a short kiss.

Harry smiled brightly up at him. "Does it feel different this time?"

Draco nodded. "It does. I don't feel as frantic as I used to feel. I don't feel like I need to prove myself to you."

"You never had to prove yourself. I've always thought you were amazing."

Draco kissed him deeply. It was a long, slow, gentle kiss and Draco was surprised to find that he had never felt so wanted before.

They undressed slowly and Draco took his time preparing Harry. It had always been so rushed and urgent, even in the beginning. So he made himself go slowly, kissing every inch of the other man's body and gently sliding one finger then another inside of him.

Harry gasped and arched his back when Draco's fingertips brushed his prostate. "Draco," he whispered as he pushed himself harder onto the blond's fingers. "More…it's not enough."

Draco smiled and leaned down to kiss him. His fingers moved faster inside Harry and the brunet let out a long, deep moan as he pulled his mouth away. "Christ…Draco, please."

Draco laughed softly at his pleading, but didn't relent; he was having too much fun. He moved his mouth to Harry's neck and licked at his pulse point while pushing deeper.

Harry was whimpering and writhing beneath him, pressing himself desperately against Draco's hand. "Close…Draco…don't want…" His breath caught as the blond twisted his fingers inside him. "Not yet…don't want…to come…without you."

Draco slowed his fingers to a torturous pace and moved so he was kneeling between Harry's bent legs. He pulled his fingers free and slid his cock in with one long, slow push.

Both men gasped and moaned as they became still, their arms wrapped tightly around each other, relishing the feel of each others bodies.

Draco buried his face in Harry's perpetually messy hair and forced himself to breathe. "You feel better than I remembered," he whispered. He raised himself onto his forearms and looked down into Harry's eyes. "Are you okay?"

Harry nodded and breathed deeply through his nose, forcing his body to relax. He raised a trembling hand to Draco's face and stroked his cheek. "Move," he whispered.

Draco slowly pulled back, then slid back in.

Harry's head fell back on the cushion and he moaned loudly. "Again," he said as he pulled his legs up further.

Draco raised himself onto his hands, arms extended fully, then pulled out and thrust back in again, this time a little harder. He couldn't contain the small gasp that escaped as Harry clenched around him.

Harry sighed heavily as his eyes fell shut.

Draco's thrusts were steady, but unhurried. He wanted this to last as long as possible. He breathed deeply, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

"Harder," Harry begged him. He opened his green eyes and stared up at the blond.

Draco's thrusts became a bit more forceful. He ran his hand over Harry's chest and neck, feeling the frantic heart beat that he knew matched his own. He pushed even deeper.

Harry made a choking sound, then threw his head back and rocked his hips upward. "Yes…yes, right there…God…Draco…" One of his arms was flung over his head, his hand clutching at the arm of the couch. His other hand moved slowly down his chest and took his swollen cock into his hand, stroking fast.

Draco slapped Harry's hand away, stopping him from touching himself.

Harry whimpered. "Draco…"

Draco held tightly to Harry's wrist and pinned it to the couch next to the brunet's head. "I don't want you to come yet," he told him.

"But I'm close," Harry cried.

"No, not yet." Draco's thrusts slowed and he lowered himself onto his elbows. "Wait for me," he whispered.

Harry pulled his wrist free then ran both hands up Draco's chest, over his shoulders and into his hair. He pulled him down into a rough, bruising kiss.

Draco's hips stilled as he was lost in the intensity of the almost painful joining of their mouths.

Harry snaked his hands down Draco's sides, causing goose bumps to break out over the blond's flushed skin. His hands moved down to Draco's hips, then around to clutch at his arse. His fingers kneaded the flesh, then gripped him tightly and pulled him down hard on top of him.

Draco groaned deeply and buried his face in Harry's neck. He licked the salty skin and brought his mouth up to Harry's ear. "You asked for it," he whispered.

Harry smiled, almost shivering in anticipation. "I'm looking forward to it." He shifted himself a bit then wrapped his legs around Draco's waist, locking his ankles together.

Draco stared down into his eyes before he suddenly began to pound fast and hard into the smaller man.

Harry gasped and his hands shot up to clutch at Draco's shoulders. His mouth fell open into a silent scream of pleasure and he arched his back, trying to get even closer.

The sound of skin hitting skin and the harsh breathing of the two men echoed through the small room.

Harry's nails were digging into his back, but Draco didn't care. He had never felt so alive before. And he couldn't tear his eyes from Harry's face.

Harry's eyes were half shut and he was biting his lower lip hard to keep from screaming. His cheeks were flushed and his chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath.

The couch creaked slightly as Draco lowered himself a bit, trapping Harry's ignored cock between them. The brunet moaned at the sudden friction and thrust his hips faster.

"Don't scream when you come," Draco said then ran his tongue over Harry's ear. "Someone will hear." He nipped at his earlobe, then sat back on his knees, lifting Harry's hips from the cushions. He held tight to his hip with one hand and with his other hand, he wrapped his fingers around Harry's cock.

"Don't think…can't control it…" Harry managed between thrusts.

Draco could feel his orgasm coming and was almost disappointed that their encounter would soon be ending. His disappointment was quickly forgotten as his legs tensed and his toes curled. It felt like a fire was burning in the pit of his stomach. "Shit… Harry…I can't…"

"Wait…wait…wait…" Harry chanted softly. He locked his legs tighter around Draco's thrusting hips.

Draco repositioned himself, pulling Harry's legs free from his waist and bringing them to rest over his arms. His hands held tightly to Harry's thighs as he pushed in and out, faster and harder, watching himself slide in and out. "I can't…shit…oh _fuck_…_Harry_!" He thrust deep and held himself there as his cock pulsed, spilling his seed inside his lover. Gasping as waves of white hot pleasure burned through his body, he thrust again, hoping to extend it.

Harry took his cock in hand and gave it a couple quick strokes. "Draco," he whimpered. "Don't stop."

Draco thrust his hips, moaning at the feel of Harry's muscles clamping down around his spent cock. He pushed deep, trembling violently and easing himself through one of the most incredibly intense orgasms of his young life. "Harry," he said softly.

At the sound of his name, Harry's eyes rolled back and he yelled out Draco's name as thick spurts of come erupted from him, splashing over both of their chests. His body jerked again and again as Draco continued to move his softening erection inside him. When Draco finally stopped moving, Harry collapsed back onto the couch, his eyes closed while he breathed heavily.

"You're beautiful," Draco whispered once he had caught his breath. He leaned over and licked up a few drops of Harry's come before pressing their lips together in a gentle, loving kiss.

Harry had one hand on Draco's arse, holding him inside him. The other hand stroked the sweat dampened hair at the back of Draco's neck.

Draco pressed his chest to Harry's, trapping his sticky release between them, but he didn't really mind. He rested his forehead on Harry's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Harry kissed Draco's temple before finally letting go of his arse and allowing him to slip out. He wrapped his arms around the blond and nuzzled his hair with his nose.

"I don't think I can move," Draco said softly. He yawned and cuddled closer.

"I think I passed out for a few seconds." Harry laughed softly. "If that's what waiting seven months feels like, imagine what it would feel like if we waited a year."

"Don't even joke about that," Draco mumbled into his neck.

"Hey, don't fall asleep. We'll wake up stuck together." He shoved lightly at Draco's shoulder, forcing him to roll onto his side.

"Alright, alright." Draco sat up and looked around the room. "What are we supposed to use for cleanup?"

Harry looked around the room, then stood and slowly limped his way to the cooler behind the bar.

"You have the greatest arse," Draco said as watched him.

Harry pulled a bottle of water from the cooler and a clean rag from the sink. "Well, you'll have plenty of time to look at it since I don't think I'll be able to sit for a month." He smirked at the blond as he brought his supplies over to the couch. He knelt down in front of Draco and poured some water onto the cloth before gently wiping away the milky fluid that coated their chests.

Draco sat back and smiled as he watched Harry remove all signs of their lovemaking from both of their bodies.

Once they were thoroughly cleaned, Harry threw the rag in the trash and grabbed his boxers and pants. He began to dress slowly. "How did you know it was me?" He glanced over his shoulder and watched the pale blond dressing behind him.

Draco buckled his belt, then flopped back onto the couch, resting his head on the arm. "I didn't know for sure. I smelled pot, so I wandered up here and then suddenly you were blowing me."

Harry laughed. "So, technically, you were getting your dick sucked by a stranger."

Draco smiled and shrugged.

"But you said my name." Harry climbed over Draco and tucked himself between the blond and the back of the couch. He rested his head on Draco's still bare chest and sighed softly.

"Yeah," Draco said quietly as his arms automatically wrapped around the smaller man and pulled him closer. "I was really drunk and I just…I really wanted it to be you." He kissed the top of Harry's head.

Harry ran his fingertips over Draco's chest and stomach. "Why were you crying?"

Draco shifted nervously then pulled Harry so close that he was almost lying on top of him. "I think it was a combination of a lot of things."

Harry raised his head and looked down at him. "Like…?"

"Anger…bitterness…jealousy…sadness." Draco looked away, but his hand blindly found Harry's where it rested on his chest and he held it tightly against his heart. "Confusion." He looked back at the raven haired man and smiled softly.

Harry squeezed his hand, then let it go. He brought his fingers to Draco's swollen lips and traced them slowly. "Confusion about…?"

"You and me." Draco rolled onto his side so they were lying face to face, their legs entwined. "And me and Cedric." He sighed softly. "I don't want to hurt him."

"I know." Harry kissed him softly and brushed his hair from his eyes.

"And I don't want to hurt you either." Draco sat up and leaned against the arm of the couch.

Harry sat up and faced him. "You're not going to hurt me," he laughed.

"I don't know if I want to leave Cedric," Draco admitted nervously. He looked down at his hands and silently cursed their shaking.

Harry laughed another soft laugh. "I'm not expecting you to."

Draco looked up in surprise. "You're not?"

Harry shook his head. "You're with Cedric, I'm with Oliver." He shrugged. "That's just how it is and I think it's best we keep it that way."

Draco stared at him in shock. "You're back with him?"

Harry nodded.

"Why isn't he here?"

"He's in Germany for a few months. I only stayed in town because of the wedding. I'm leaving tomorrow."

Draco frowned. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Harry raised an eyebrow at him. "Why should I have? Does it matter?"

"That you're leaving the country for a few months? Yes, it fucking matters!" Draco stood and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on roughly.

Harry stood and folded his arms over his chest. "Why are you acting like this? We always go months without seeing each other or talking to each other. What's different this time?"

Draco stopped and let his shoulders slump. "I don't know," he said then sighed and sat down with his head in his hands. "It's the alcohol talking, I suppose."

Harry laughed as he sat down and put his arm around him. "You're jealous. And that's okay."

Draco looked up at him and managed a small smile. "I wish I could split myself in two so I could be with both of you."

"What if we got tired of each other?"

"I don't think we would." He leaned back against the arm again and motioned for Harry to come to him.

Harry moved over so he was sitting between Draco's legs with his back to the blond's chest. He sighed happily as Draco held him tightly against him.

"Did you realize that before today, we only ever had sex on people's birthdays?" Draco asked.

Harry laughed. "Really?"

Draco nodded and kissed Harry's ear. "The first time was Blaise's birthday, then mine, then yours, then Hermione's."

Harry laughed. "I hadn't realized."

"When you didn't show up for Blaise's birthday this year, I was so ridiculously disappointed." Draco laughed.

"I wanted to be there, but I was working."

"I know, Pansy told me. So how's the job working out?"

"I quit," Harry said with a shrug. "I love animals and all, but pet shops are gross and unsanitary."

"Well, why didn't you come to the club after work?"

Harry looked down at their joined hands. "I had just had a huge fight with Oliver and I wasn't in the mood."

Draco sighed heavily and kissed Harry's head. He held him tighter and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself. "I have to say this and please don't get angry with me," he said softly.

Harry gave him a small nod.

"Why do you let him hurt you?"

As he expected, Harry immediately stiffened in his arms. "I don't _let_ him. You've met him. You know what he's like."

"Yes, but you keep going back to him."

Harry was silent.

"Why haven't you ever gone out and tried dating someone else?"

"He loves me," Harry whispered.

Draco's heart broke for the boy in his arms. "That's not love, Harry."

Harry roughly pulled away and jumped to his feet, quickly gathering the rest of his things. He pulled on his shirt and jacket and draped his tie around his neck while at the same time trying to slip his shoes on.

"Don't go," Draco said as he watched. "We always leave on bad terms and I don't want that this time."

"The reception is about over and I'm sure your _boyfriend_ is probably wondering where you are." Harry's voice was sharp and loud and his face was burning with anger.

"Don't be angry," Draco pleaded as he stood and took Harry's hand in his. "I just want you to be safe."

"He doesn't do that anymore," Harry said softly. "He's seeing someone and it's going to get better. It _has _gotten better."

"Okay." Draco took Harry's chin in his hand and made him look up.

"Is it such a bad thing that I want someone to love me?" Harry asked.

Draco couldn't answer, so instead he just kissed the boys forehead and stepped back from him, giving him space. "Let's change the subject, shall we?"

Harry's eyes were filled with tears. He blinked furiously and nodded his agreement.

Draco pulled him into a long hug. "Have a good time in Germany."

Harry looked up at him and smiled sadly. "I'm going to miss you."

Draco grinned and cradled Harry's tear streaked face in his hands. "Me too." He kissed him gently, but when he started to pull away, the brunet dragged him closer and kissed him passionately.

"Wow," Draco said softly as he pulled back. "What was that for?"

Harry shrugged. "I just can't help myself. You have the most beautiful mouth I have ever seen." He kissed him once more then reluctantly stepped back. "We should go."

Draco nodded and finished dressing then glanced around the room. "Why don't you go on ahead and I'll straighten up in here."

"You sure?"

Draco nodded and walked him to the door. "You've been gone for three hours now. I've only been missing for one."

Harry smiled and kissed him again. "I'll see you in a couple months."

"Will you be back for my birthday?"

"Wouldn't miss it." He pulled Draco to him and rested his forehead against the blond's.

Draco closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying being close to Harry. "Alright…go." He kissed him and pulled back, opening the door.

"Bye," Harry said, squeezing his hand. He smiled and winked then slipped out the door.

Draco watched him walk away then hurried around the room, making sure to erase all signs of their presence. He found Harry's half smoked joint in an ashtray and lit it up, taking a few quick hits before stubbing it out and pocketing the rest.

He stood dazed for a moment, amazed at the intensity of his high and wondering how Harry, who never had a job, could afford such good pot. He rubbed his face and downed the rest of the bottle of water that Harry had pulled from the cooler, hoping to clear his head just a bit before grabbing his jacket and heading back downstairs.

He froze at the bottom of the stairs when he saw Cedric sitting on a bench with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

_Oh shit…did he see Harry? Bloody hell…here comes the guilt._

Draco took a few steps forward and awkwardly cleared his throat to alert Cedric of his presence.

Cedric looked up at him with tired eyes and gave him a small smile.

"Everyone gone already?" Draco sat down on the bench next to him.

"Mostly. Ron and Hermione just left. Most of the Weasley's are still here. And Harry…he's still here. But you already knew that." Cedric glanced over at him, then looked down at his hands.

Draco didn't know what to say. He stared at his boyfriend in quiet confusion, trying to figure out if he was angry or upset…but Cedric's facial expressions were not giving anything away.

Draco was startled when Cedric suddenly stood. "Are you ready? I'm really tired."

"Sure." Draco also stood. He opened his mouth to speak again, but was instantly cut off.

"Don't," Cedric said, a bit of desperation and anger in his voice. He finally turned and looked into Draco's glassy grey eyes. "You're high?"

Draco nodded, not the least bit ashamed.

Cedric just sighed and scratched at his hair.

Draco reached out and took his hand. "You always want me to be honest, don't you?" He didn't know why he had such an urge to confess.

"Not about this," Cedric said as he let go of his hand and wrapped his arms tightly around himself. "Just…don't say it Dray. If you don't say it, then…then I can pretend that nothing's changed and since I'm…I don't want to let you go. I'm not ready and…" He covered his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. "I love you, you stupid, selfish git."

Draco's heart throbbed painfully as he pulled him into his arms and held him against him. He didn't regret being with Harry, but God…he knew how Cedric felt and there was nothing pleasant about it. It was killing him that he was the cause of such distress. His chest tightened as he felt Cedric press closer to him, holding tighter to his jacket. "I love you," Draco whispered as he rubbed Cedric's back. "Cedric…I love you, baby. So much. Are you listening?" He stroked his sandy hair and kissed the side of his head.

Cedric nodded and pressed his face deeper into Draco's neck.

"I will always love you," Draco continued as he tightened his grip on the slightly taller man. "No matter what, remember that." He kissed his head again and buried his nose behind his ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and…let's just go home and…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Let's go home."

"You're not leaving me?" Cedric asked, almost sounding confused.

Draco pulled back, holding him at arms length. "Of course not! Don't be absurd." He was surprised how much the idea of them breaking up panicked him. He took Cedric's face in his hands and made him look him in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want to share you," Cedric said. "But I'm starting to think that's the only way I can keep you." His cheeks flushed when he admitted his feelings, but he managed to hold Draco's stare.

Draco stared back in shock._ I'm a bad, bad man. Look what I've done._

Cedric slowly moved closer to Draco and wrapped his arms around the blond's neck.

"You deserve better than me," Draco whispered, then pulled his boyfriend closer, his arms around him in an almost painful embrace.

"I don't want better." Cedric gently kissed his neck then rested his head on his shoulder. "I was… afraid that you wouldn't be coming home with me tonight."

"I'll always come home to you," Draco promised.

"That's all that matters to me." Cedric finally relaxed in the blond's arms. "As long as I have you there to hold, everything will be okay." He kissed Draco's jaw. "I don't think I could sleep without you in my arms."

Draco sighed softly and pulled back to look at him. "Why aren't you yelling? Or hitting me? Or…or breaking up with me?"

Cedric smiled sadly as he stroked his boyfriend's cheek. "I just want you to be happy. And as long as I know you love me and that you will keep coming home, I'll be okay."

"Do you understand what you're saying?" Draco frowned and stepped back from him, breaking all contact. "How messed up it is?"_ Has he lost his fucking mind? _

Cedric cocked his head and pressed his lips together in a tight line. "It's either accept it and we go on being happy, or let it break my heart like I did yours."

"You're doing this because you think you deserve it after what you did." Draco was getting angry. How had this loving, confident, self sufficient man turned into someone who was suddenly willing to allow his boyfriend to keep a lover? _Easy answer…because I'm a bastard and I broke him._

Cedric shrugged. "I'm just trying to say what you obviously want me to say."

Draco was confused and his face showed it. "You…what?"

Cedric straightened his shoulders. "Obviously you want someone who puts your wants and needs first and cares nothing of their own happiness." He gave his own fake, confused look. "You mean, you don't want me to just roll over and let you fuck whoever you want to?"

Draco's face was burning, a mixture of shame and anger. "Stop it. You know I don't want those things."

"Really?" Cedric snapped. "And how the _fuck_ am I supposed to know that when I can smell him on you right now?"

Draco flinched as if he had been struck. He swallowed hard. "Cedric, you don't-"

"No! You don't get to tell me what I do or don't understand or what I feel or don't feel or how much you love me or that you're fucking _sorry_! Not until you can be honest and just admit that I'm not enough for you. Maybe then I'll listen to you. Say it, Draco…say it and it'll be done and you won't have to feel guilty anymore and I'll walk away and you can go get your perfect lover and live happily ever after with him. 'Cause I don't want to do this if this is how it's going to be. I love you far too much for that."

"What do you want me to say? I said I was sorry. It won't happen again. I promise."

Cedric snorted. "You promised once that it wouldn't happen in the first place. Look where we are now."

Draco just stared at him helplessly. "Tell me what to say and I'll say it," he said, his voice small.

Hazel eyes gazed thoughtfully at him for a while. "We should change the rules of our relationship if you're not happy."

Draco's brow furrowed. "I never said I wasn't happy."

"No, but actions speak louder than words, love." Cedric looked away for a moment. "I've been doing some thinking anyway and I've recently come to the conclusion that monogamy is…not a practical expectation."

"But it should be!" Draco yelled, gripping his hair with both hands. "Why don't you expect more from me?"

Cedric raised an eyebrow as he watched Draco's mini-fit. "Why do you think? I know the temptation to stray, Draco. I don't hate you for it. As long as you won't hate me for it."

Draco stared at him with his mouth hanging open.

Cedric cleared his throat and straightened his jacket.

"You want us to see other people?"

"No…no dating. But maybe we should…_allow_ certain other things."

Nausea overwhelmed him. He didn't want Cedric to be with other people. The thought of another man touching him made his face flush with jealousy and rage. _Bloody hypocrite._

Cedric laughed softly, but there was no humor there. "I take it you don't like that idea?"

Draco clenched his jaw to the point of pain and shook his head. "I can't stand the idea of anyone else touching you." He couldn't look at him, so he stared at the floor between them.

There was a long, drawn out silence. The only sound was the faint music coming from the ballroom down the hall.

"So…you don't want me sleeping with strangers?"

Draco shook his head.

"Then imagine if I wanted to sleep with someone that you knew. Someone that, despite your discomfort, you had been forced to spend holidays and birthdays and weddings with. Someone that you knew that I _loved_."

Draco's breath caught and he finally looked up to see Cedric staring at him, his eyes dangerous and angry. He struggled to breathe. "I-"

"You promised…_promised_ that he was nothing to be jealous of!"

"He's…he's not," Draco stammered.

Cedric snorted and folded his arms over his chest, all signs of insecurity, weakness and begging gone from his voice and expression. All that was there was anger.

"You're the one I love," Draco said softly, reaching for his hand.

Cedric took a step back and avoided Draco's reach. "How am I supposed to _not _be jealous?"

Draco let his hand drop and looked back at the floor. "I don't know."

Cedric sighed heavily and leaned back against the wall. "We have to figure something out. If you're going to continue seeing him, then I'm not staying. I can't just sit around and wait for you to be with me when it's convenient for you. I'm no one's consolation prize."

"I never thought you were." Draco felt like he was going to be sick at any moment and he had to fight himself not to bolt to the nearest restroom. He had to stick out this conversation if he wanted Cedric to stay.

"It's either all or nothing, Dray. You're either with me or you aren't. And if we are together, there will be absolutely no room in our lives for Harry Potter. It's him or me."

_I knew the time would come when I'd have to choose, but I didn't think it would be so soon._

"Well?"

"You," Draco whispered and he was sure that something inside of him broke at his words. A rush of tears flooded his eyes and he choked as his throat closed up and the enormity of his answer crushed him. _I can never see him again._

Cedric watched as his boyfriend collapsed onto the bench in a sobbing, hysterical mess, but he didn't move to comfort him. He just waited.

Draco's hands were shaking violently as he wiped at his tears and tried to stop the overwhelming grief that crushed him. He was tired and sad and relieved and heartbroken and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a week.

_This isn't how it was supposed to happen. _

Draco was so lost in his thoughts that he flinched in surprise when he felt someone take his hand and pull him slowly to his feet. He brushed his tears away again before looking up at his boyfriend.

Cedric managed a small, heartbreaking smile. He gently wiped away Draco's tears then gave his arm a gentle tug. "Come on. Come dance with me." His hazel eyes were shining with unshed tears and Draco felt his heart give another painful lurch.

They made their way to the ballroom in silence, stopping just inside the doors to look at the few people who remained.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were standing in the corner talking to Mr. and Mrs. Granger. Fred and George Weasley were behind the DJ booth, chatting with the DJ. There were a few other people scattered throughout the room that Draco didn't know. And the only people on the dance floor were Harry and Ginny Weasley.

Cedric guided him to the opposite side of the dance floor and pulled him into his arms.

Draco buried his face in Cedric's neck and closed his eyes. He was feeling weak from both alcohol and marijuana use, along with his activities with Harry and the emotional roller coaster of the last past hour and a half.

"I just want to go home," he whispered softly against his boyfriend's skin.

Cedric rubbed his back and kissed his head, not hearing his quiet request.

They danced slowly, barely moving, even through the faster paced songs.

Draco eventually relaxed and felt himself falling asleep in Cedric's arms. He forced his eyes open and turned his face from Cedric's neck. His eyes immediately fell on Harry, who was sitting at a table at the back of the room, watching him closely. The dark haired boy gave Draco a sad smile as he stood and pulled on his jacket, his eyes never looking away from him. He blew a kiss to the blond and rested a hand over his heart before turning and hurrying out the door.

"Are you ready love?" Cedric whispered, his soft lips brushing Draco's ear.

Draco nodded and lifted his head to kiss him deeply.

Cedric sighed and pulled him closer, kissing him harder. Then he pulled back and kissed his forehead before motioning to the door. "Let's go."

Draco nodded and sighed in relief.

*.*.*.*

_AN: So…how was that?_


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: I'm not sure if I got back to you all to say thanks for your lovely reviews, so if I missed you, I am truly sorry and appreciate you more than you will ever know!_

_As for this chapter…I know I put these boys through a lot and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how much you love angst and drama) this one is sort of a doozy…hope you all stick with me and continue to enjoy it. But don't be afraid to tell me if you don't!_

_Also, a warning for some Draco/Cedric lovin ahead. missblackeyeliner, I thought you especially might like this one. Enjoy!_

*.*.*.*

Chapter Nine

- May 29th -

Draco Malfoy was dreaming. Well, dreaming wasn't really the right word for it. It was more like a memory…a really, _really _good memory. It just so happened to be occurring while he was asleep.

_Draco sighed softly as he stirred, finally waking after almost twelve hours of unconsciousness. He moaned at the wonderful, warm pressure engulfing his cock and opened his eyes to see a messy head of sandy hair between his legs._

"_Cedric," he gasped. He dug his fingers into his boyfriend's thick hair, gently massaging his scalp and trying hard not to pull. He groaned and arched his back as he was swallowed completely. "What… what are you…fuck!" As hard as he tried to resist, he couldn't help but buck his hips when teeth gently scraped over the head. He abandoned the thought of questioning Cedric's motives and concentrated instead on not gagging the other man._

"_Mm…you taste good," Cedric muttered as he moved his mouth from Draco's cock to his thigh. He licked and sucked, leaving a light mark as his hand slowly continued to pump the blond's erection._

"_Morning," Draco breathed as he looked down into bright hazel eyes._

_Cedric lifted his face from Draco's thigh and answered with a smile. He sat back on his knees, revealing his own pajama covered arousal to his lover. "Feeling better this morning?"_

_Draco's face fell at the memory of the night before and he turned his face away._

"_Hey, none of that," Cedric said as he crawled up his lover's body. He lowered himself onto his elbows so their chests pressed together, his hips quickly following suit._

_Draco let out a soft hiss at the feel of Cedric's clothed erection pressing against his. "How can you want to touch me after what I-"_

"_How could I not want to touch you?" Cedric interrupted. He forced Draco to look at him and pressed his lips to his. "I love you." He lowered his mouth to Draco's neck, instantly finding the spot below the blond's ear that he knew drove him wild. He slowly began rocking his hips._

_Draco closed his eyes and moaned at the intense pleasure he was being treated to. He didn't understand it, but he wasn't stupid enough to question it any further._

_Cedric's hips moved faster and he licked at the area where Draco's neck met his shoulder. One hand snaked up between their bodies to pinch lightly at a small, pale nipple._

_Draco grunted and thrust his hips harder. He grabbed Cedric's hair and pulled him into a deep kiss, his mouth sucking at the other's tongue. _

_Rolling onto his side, Cedric pulled Draco with him, continuing to kiss him while simultaneously trying to get his pajama bottoms off. He grunted in frustration when the material became tangled around his legs and he couldn't free them._

_Draco laughed into his mouth, but didn't pull away, unwilling to give up the warm press of his boyfriend's lips. He reached down and helped Cedric remove the offending article of clothing, then once they were both naked, he pulled him back on top of him._

_Cedric straddled his hips and sat up. He thrust forward again and again and smirked when Draco's fingers dug into his hips, silently begging him for more._

"_I woke up craving you," Cedric said as he leaned over and opened the drawer of the nightstand. He pulled out a small bottle of lube and grinned when he looked back to see Draco's eyes darkened with lust. The blond licked his lips as he stared at the bottle. Cedric sat back on Draco's thighs and gazed longingly down at the rock hard cock below him._

"_Why are you taking so long?" Draco whined when nothing had happened._

_Cedric snorted softly and opened the bottle to pour some of the slick fluid into his hand. He tossed the bottle onto the bed beside them and rubbed his palms together, warming it up. He couldn't help but smile at the desperate look on his boyfriend's face._

"_Cedric," Draco whimpered as he squirmed beneath him. "Don't torture me."_

_Cedric leaned over to kiss him quickly before sitting up and wrapping both hands around Draco's erection. He slid his hands down slowly to the base, squeezing gently, then back up to the head. He ran his thumb up underneath, forcing a long, deep moan from Draco's mouth._

_Draco was panting with need, his cock aching to be inside this man who was slowly driving him insane. "You're going to make me come if you don't stop," he warned._

_Cedric chuckled softly and reached again for the bottle of lube. "Give me your hand," he said as he opened the bottle._

_Draco moaned softly at the rough sound of Cedric's voice and raised his hand to him._

_Cedric dripped a few drops onto Draco's pale fingers, enough to coat them thoroughly, but not so much that there would be an excess amount. It was just enough to please them both without taking away the feeling._

_Draco rubbed his fingers together to warm up the fluid, then used his other arm to pull Cedric down on top of him. He rolled them over so he was on top and kissed him furiously. He had always been a big fan of morning sex._

_Cedric took Draco's hand and forced it between his legs. "Hurry…I don't think I can wait much longer."_

_Draco laughed softly and kissed him before propping himself up on his elbow to watch his lover's face as he prepared him. He nudged his legs apart further, then slowly pressed a finger into him._

_Cedric's eyelids fluttered and he held his breath as his body was breached. His nostrils flared as he waited for the initial sting to pass, then he opened his eyes and gazed up into silver grey eyes that were watching him intently._

"_You make me so hard," Draco whispered against his mouth as he slid in a second finger. He kissed him, quieting the soft moan that escaped his lips._

_Cedric threw his head back and gasped as Draco's fingers found their target. His cock twitched with the extra pleasure and it quickly became obvious to both of them that he was ready. "Now," he begged softly._

_Draco gently removed his fingers then started to roll onto him, but was surprised to feel himself being pushed onto his back. His heart knocked painfully in his chest and he smiled wide as he lay back on the pillows, allowing his boyfriend to climb on top of him._

"_I like watching you from this angle," Cedric explained. He reached behind him and took Draco in his hand, giving him a gentle squeeze before guiding him to his entrance and slowly lowering himself onto him._

_Draco let out a soft growl of pleasure as the almost unbearably tight warmth of Cedric's body engulfed him._

_Cedric's eyes fell shut as he became still, adjusting to the sizable, yet welcomed intrusion. He breathed deeply, waiting for his body to adjust. "I love how hard you get," he breathed softly. He opened his eyes and looked at Draco, then began to move._

_Draco couldn't take his eyes off of him. Cedric knew exactly how to move and exactly where to touch him to give him the most pleasure and this morning, he was pulling out all the tricks. Draco's breath caught as he looked down to watch himself disappear again and again inside of him._

_He slowly reached out and ran his fingertips down the length of Cedric's cock, his thumb catching a few drops of precum. He looked up into his eyes as he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked it clean._

_Cedric bit his lip and moved faster as he watched him. _

_Draco took Cedric's hand and pulled him down on top of him. He kissed him in time with their thrusts, pushing his hips up as Cedric pushed down, trying to get as deep as possible._

_Cedric ran his tongue up Draco's jaw and nibbled gently on his earlobe, pulling on it with his teeth._

_Draco gripped the other man's hips and thrust up harder._

_Cedric grunted and pushed down just as hard. "Dray…" he moaned softly._

_Draco wrapped both arms around him and quickly rolled so he was on top. He raised himself to his knees and guided Cedric's legs to his shoulders. He leaned forward, resting all his weight on his hands and began to move faster._

_Throwing his head back onto the pillow, Cedric fisted the sheets on either side of him, giving up all control and letting Draco lead. "Harder," he whispered._

_Draco obeyed, but he sat back on his knees again and lowered Cedric's legs to wrap around his waist. "Touch yourself," he begged him. "I want to watch."_

_Cedric took his cock in hand and slowly began to stroke it. He bit his lip and breathed harshly through his nose, trying to keep control._

"_Faster," Draco whispered. He felt the beginning signs of his orgasm and he really wanted Cedric to get off first. Watching him like this was just a bonus._

_Cedric's hand moved faster and his mouth fell open as he gasped for breath. "Close. So close."_

_Draco's thrusts were becoming erratic and he knew he was losing control and fast. He pushed deeper and held back a triumphant grin when Cedric let out a strangled cry and came, squeezing his muscles tightly around him._

_Draco threw his head back and his eyes slammed shut as his orgasm rocked his body. "Fuck!" His thrusts slowed, but he continued to rock slowly, easing himself through it._

_Cedric stared up at him with a half smile on his face. His eyelids drooped as he brought his hands up to his boyfriends shoulders and – _

Draco woke with a low moan, his cock throbbing painfully, pinned between himself and the mattress. He rocked his hips a few times and sighed at the pleasure of it, then turned to initiate a new round of morning sex.

Cedric wasn't in bed.

Draco groaned and fell back against the pillows. He momentarily debated taking care of it himself, but he longed for his boyfriend's touch, so he climbed out of bed to go find him.

Draco knew how unbelievably lucky he was. They had never again spoken of the wedding incident and Cedric seemed content to pretend it had never happened. The blond was surprised at how quickly the other man had blown it off, but he was thankful every day that he had. It seemed that making the choice of Cedric over Harry had calmed his urges for the raven haired man. And it certainly didn't hurt that he was no longer in the country.

Draco walked into the kitchen and smiled to himself as he watched Cedric cooking. He was humming and tapping his foot, eggs and bacon sizzling in pans in front of him.

"Morning," Draco finally said after watching him for a few minutes.

Cedric smiled over his shoulder. "Morning, love."

Draco wrapped his arms around Cedric's waist and kissed his neck and jaw. He pressed his erection against him and smirked into his neck when he felt his lover's breathing hitch.

"That can be very dangerous in front of an open flame," Cedric said softly as he tilted his head, giving Draco's mouth better access to his neck.

Draco continued to kiss and lick while at the same time, reaching around him to turn off the burners.

"Breakfast will get cold," Cedric protested halfheartedly.

"Don't care."

Cedric laughed and pressed back against him. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing. I just can't get enough of touching you."

Cedric turned himself around and pulled Draco into a rough, passionate kiss. He guided him backwards until he hit the counter. "Right here?" he asked as he lifted Draco up, setting him on the counter top.

Draco nodded and quickly started to undo the other man's pants.

The phone rang, startling Cedric, though Draco didn't seem to notice.

Cedric stepped back from his flushed and panting boyfriend.

"Ignore it," Draco begged, reaching for him.

Cedric laughed and grabbed the phone from the table. "Yes?" He never took his eyes from Draco's.

Draco huffed to himself, slightly irritated that Cedric had chosen answering the phone over having sex. But he snapped back to reality when he realized that Cedric was holding the phone out to him and that the playful smile he had been wearing just moments before had faded from his face.

"It's the hospital," Cedric said softly. "They wouldn't tell me anything."

Draco hopped down from the counter and buttoned his pants before taking the phone. "Hello?"

"Draco Malfoy?"

"Yes, this is."

"My name is Dr. Ramsey and I'm calling from St. Mungo's emergency room."

Draco's heart raced. "What happened?"

"We have a Harry Potter here and he was brought in with multiple injuries sustained during a domestic dispute. He has been in and out of consciousness and is being prepped for surgery, but while awake, he asked for you. We found your phone number in his cell phone. He couldn't tell us if he had any family. And he only asked for you."

"What happened? Is he going to be alright?" His mouth had gone dry and he had to force himself to breathe. He hadn't even known they were back from Germany yet.

Cedric took his arm and led him to a chair, forcing him to sit, but Draco didn't even notice that he had been moved.

"We're hopeful that he will be just fine, though he will have a bit of a recovery ahead of him."

"What…" Draco stopped to clear his burning throat. _Breathe Malfoy…breathe. _"What were his injuries?"

"Some broken bones, bruises and lacerations. I can go into better detail when you come down here."

"Did they arrest him?"

"If you're talking about Mr. Wood, well, he's here as well, though his injuries are nowhere near as severe. But Mr. Potter put up one hell of a fight. The police are already here and Mr. Wood will be arrested after his treatment."

"Good…that's good." Draco blinked away the tears that stung his eyes. "Why does he have to have surgery?"

"We're going to have to go in and set his arm. It's a pretty bad break."

"How long until he goes into surgery?"

"He'll be taken for prep in about two hours. Maybe a little sooner."

"Can I come see him first?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, doctor." Draco hung up the phone and set it down on the table. "Can you take me to the hospital?" He didn't look at Cedric for fear that he would lose control of his fragile emotions.

Cedric nodded and helped him stand. "What happened? Is it Harry?"

Draco didn't have the presence of mind to be surprised that Cedric had known so he just nodded.

"I'll be right back." Cedric kissed his head and hurried out of the room.

Draco wrapped his arms around himself and waited for his boyfriend to return.

Cedric brought him clothes and helped him dress, then he led him out of the flat and to the car.

*.*.*.*

Draco stood nervously in the doorway of Harry's room. Cedric had agreed to stay in the waiting room, but Draco partially wished he was there for support.

_Just don't let him see how bad it is. Don't cry…remember to smile. Don't let him see how upset you are. _He took a deep breath then walked inside.

Harry was lying in bed, completely still. The only sounds were the beep of the heart monitor and the soft drips from his IV.

Draco covered his mouth as he looked down at an unrecognizable Harry Potter. "Jesus, Harry…what the bloody hell did he do to you?" he whispered as he sat down on the edge of the bed and gently took his hand.

"Beat me with a bat," came a soft, mumbled voice.

Draco looked from their joined hands to Harry's face and his breath caught in his throat. He swallowed heavily. "Hi," he managed to say.

Harry tried to smile, which showed off the wires that held his broken jaw in place. "Hi," he said softly, then he winced.

Draco's heart clenched. "Do you need a nurse?"

"No." Harry squeezed his hand and looked up at him. His left eye was black and purple and completely swollen shut. The other was bruised and the white of his eye was stained red, the blood vessels completely broken.

"It seems stupid to ask how you are." Draco held tighter to Harry's hand.

"He tried to kill me," Harry said as tears began to pour from his eyes.

Draco stretched himself out on the bed beside him. "It's okay," he whispered as he stroked Harry's heaving chest. He kissed his temple and carefully slid an arm under his head so he could hold him closer.

Harry turned his face into Draco's neck and sobbed against him. His good hand, which was between them, came up to clutch at a handful of Draco's shirt.

"It'll be okay," Draco whispered again as he rocked him gently, trying not to jar his injured body. "He's never going to touch you again." He continued to hold him and mutter nonsense to soothe him.

Harry's sobs subsided after a few minutes and his grip on Draco's shirt lessened, though he didn't completely let go.

Draco pulled back just enough to look down at him. He smiled and gently wiped at his tears.

"I was so scared," Harry whispered, then squeezed his good eye shut.

Draco kissed his forehead. "You're going to be just fine."

Harry reached up and gently brushed the back of his fingertips against Draco's cheek. "Thank you for coming."

Draco smiled sadly. "Of course…but where are Ron and Hermione?"

"Late honeymoon," Harry mumbled. "Just left for Australia two days ago. Didn't want to worry them." He continued to stroke Draco's cheek then suddenly let his hand drop to his stomach. "I'm very tired."

"You go to sleep then." Draco kissed his forehead, then climbed out of bed, adjusting Harry's blankets around him.

"Don't leave," Harry begged, his hand shooting out to weakly wrap around Draco's wrist.

"I'm not going anywhere," Draco said with a soft smile. He pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down.

Harry reached for his hand and held tight. He gazed at Draco with a small smile on his lips until his eye fell shut and he was asleep.

"He looks much more peaceful now."

Draco looked up at the nurse who was standing at the foot of the bed and reviewing Harry's chart.

"He's been very agitated since he arrived. He kept crying and saying your name in his sleep. You are Draco, right?"

Draco nodded and looked back down at Harry.

"It's nice to see he has someone who cares so much about him after what that other man did to him."

Draco rubbed small circles on Harry's palm with his thumb.

"The doctor will be in soon to get him ready for surgery. You can stay until then."

"Thank you," Draco said softly.

She did a quick check of all the machines then left them alone.

Draco finally let himself cry. He moved the chair closer to the bed and held Harry's hand in both of his, leaning his head to rest on top of their joined hands. He closed his eyes and listened to the soft sounds of Harry's breathing.

"You'll be fine," he whispered. "I promise you will be fine." He kissed the pale hand that was still gripping his, even in sleep.

"Dray?"

Draco quickly wiped away his tears and sat up straight, though he didn't let go of Harry's hand.

"Fuck," Cedric said as he stopped at the end of the bed and looked down at Harry. "Is he going to be alright?"

Draco nodded, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Cedric.

Cedric stared down at Harry and his face softened in sympathy. "Oliver did this?"

Draco nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat.

Cedric sighed softly, then walked over to his boyfriend, stepping up behind him. He rested his hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing and stroking his tense muscles. "Don't hold it in Draco. God knows I want to cry, so I can't even imagine what you're feeling."

"I just feel so…helpless," Draco whispered, his tears returning with a fury.

Cedric pulled a chair up next to him and sat down. He put his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close.

Draco clung tightly to Harry's hand, but turned his face into Cedric's neck as he cried himself to sleep.

*.*.*.*

The sound of quiet voices and a slight vibration woke Draco from his sleep. It only took him a moment to recognize the two voices, so he kept his eyes closed and forced himself to relax as he listened.

"I'm sorry I interrupted your Saturday," Harry said softly, his words a bit mumbled from his broken jaw. "I just didn't know who else to call."

"Stop apologizing," Cedric said, his voice equally as soft as Harry's. "You need to rest. There's no reason to get yourself so worked up."

"I didn't think you would come with him."

"He was too upset to drive himself."

There was a long silence between the two men.

"I don't hate you, Harry. Not anymore."

"You don't?"

"No. Actually, if it weren't for this one here," he said, pulling Draco a little closer, "I'm sure we'd get along just fine, if not actually be friends."

Harry laughed softly. "Maybe."

Another long, awkward silence.

"Do you love him?"

"Oliver?"

"No…Draco."

Silence.

Draco's heart was pounding as he waited for Harry to answer Cedric's question. He finally got impatient and opened his eyes to see Harry staring at the ceiling, his face pale.

Harry opened his mouth to speak.

"Okay, Mr. Potter," a nurse said as she hurried into the room. "It's time to get you ready."

Draco pushed away the slight disappointment he felt and faked a large yawn as he sat up straight. He rubbed his itchy, burning eyes, then looked down at Harry.

Harry's eye was filled with tears when he finally looked back at Draco.

Draco smiled reassuringly and reached out to stroke Harry's hair. "It's going to be just fine." He kept saying it, but he wasn't sure if it was for Harry's benefit or his own.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" Harry asked nervously.

Draco nodded and leaned over to press a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead.

Cedric took Draco's hand and gently pulled him back. "He'll be here," he promised Harry.

Harry managed a small smile and a nod. "Okay."

Cedric slid an arm around Draco's waist as they watched Harry be wheeled away.

"Thank you," Draco whispered as he rested his forehead against his boyfriend's temple.

"For what?" Cedric turned so they were facing each other.

"Being nice to him." Draco slid his arms around Cedric's waist and pressed his face into his neck. "I know this can't be easy for you."

Cedric sighed and held Draco tight. "It's not," he admitted. "But I'm fairly certain that this had been harder on him, so who am I to make things worse?"

"You're a very good man, Cedric Diggory." Draco kissed his cheek.

Cedric blushed and pulled away. "Let's go eat. We missed breakfast." He took Draco's hand and kissed it before leading him away.

*.*.*.*

It had been two hours since Harry had come out of surgery and Draco was sitting in a chair by his bed, watching him sleep and waiting for him to wake up. He had been told the surgery went smoothly, but until he actually spoke with Harry, he knew he wouldn't be able to relax.

"Knock, knock."

He looked up as Pansy and Blaise entered the room and smiled in relief, glad for the company. "He's still asleep. The doctor said he should wake up soon." He turned his attention back to Harry.

Pansy set a vase of lilies on the table beside the bed. She looked down at Harry with sad eyes, then sat down in the chair next to her best friend, linking her arm with his. "How about you? Are you alright?"

He nodded. "I'm fine…just…worried."

Blaise stood motionless at the foot of the bed, his eyes slowly roaming over Harry's prone form and taking note of his injuries. "He's tough. He'll pull through just fine."

Draco nodded his agreement, though he wasn't so sure that he believed it himself. "Have you seen Cedric?"

"We sent him home," Pansy said. "He looked pretty tired, so I told him we would drive you home."

"I'm not leaving."

Blaise sighed. "He told us you'd say that."

Feeling a slight twinge of concern, Draco looked up at them. "Is he angry with me?"

"No. I think he's just worried that this is going to be what finally pushes you and Harry together for good." Pansy leaned against Draco and squeezed his hand.

Draco looked down at his and Harry's entwined fingers and didn't reply.

Pansy and Blaise exchanged a look. Neither of them had to say a word to know what the other was thinking.

"Pansy?"

All three visitors looked up to see Harry's face turned toward the small blonde woman.

"Hi," Harry said, his voice sounding hoarse. His eye closed for a moment and he cleared his throat.

Pansy stood and quickly wiped at her tearing eyes before sitting next to Harry and taking his hand from Draco. "Hello, darling." She gently stroked his hair and cheek. "How are you feeling?"

Harry opened his eye again. "I'm still so tired, but it doesn't hurt so much anymore." He managed another small smile and his eyes moved over to Blaise. "Blaise," he said softly.

"Hi, Harry." Blaise walked up behind Pansy, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Harry sighed softly and closed his eye again. "Draco?"

Draco quickly stood and looked down at him. "I'm here."

"I dreamed about you," Harry mumbled, his eye still shut. "It was a nice dream."

Pansy moved and allowed Draco to take her place at Harry's side.

Draco sat down and gently took the drowsy brunet's hand between both of his. "What kind of dream?"

A joyful smile spread across Harry's face and he opened his eye. "We had a dog. A big black lab named Chuck. I thought it was a silly name for a dog, but you liked it." He closed his eye and squeezed Draco's hand. "Doesn't that sound nice?"

Draco cleared a lump from his throat and nodded. "Yes," he whispered.

"He would sit with us outside in the summer while we had tea and in the winter he slept on our feet at night so they wouldn't get cold. You snuck him food under the table when I wasn't looking and we took him for long walks every night."

_I want that. My God…I want that life with him._ He gently stroked Harry's hair and smiled down at him.

"I know how cold your feet get," Harry said with a sigh.

Draco smiled. "They do get pretty cold."

"I feel so fuzzy and warm." Harry sighed again and mumbled something under his breath that the others couldn't hear before continuing, more clearly. "I always feel warm when you're with me."

Draco glanced up at his friends. Pansy was standing with a hand over her mouth as she leaned into Blaise, who was biting his lip as he waited for Harry to continue. Neither of them seemed to notice him looking, their eyes were glued to Harry.

Draco turned back to him. "Go to sleep, love," he said softly. He leaned over and pressed his lips to his cheek.

"Draco?" Harry muttered sleepily.

"Yes?" He gently nuzzled his nose against the hair at Harry's temple.

"I love you, Draco," Harry whispered.

Draco pulled back in shock and stared down at the now sleeping man. "What did you just say?"

Harry didn't respond.

Draco's eyes were burning with unshed tears as he looked up at Pansy and Blaise. "What…did he…?"

Blaise nodded. "Yes. He said that he loves you."

Draco stared blankly at his friends, then suddenly stood and hurried from the room, looking for a private place to break down. His chest was tightening and he felt his breaths coming faster and harder, the beginning signs of a panic attack.

He ducked into a bathroom and went to the sink, turning on the cold water and splashing himself in the face. _Breathe, breathe, breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Just breathe._ When the cold water did nothing to calm him, he turned his back to the wall and slid down, burying his face in his knees and wrapping his arms around his legs. He squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that it hurt, but somehow, the tears still escaped.

He was dizzy. His heart was beating so fiercely that he feared it might actually kill him this time. _Harry doesn't love you…it was the drugs talking. He was completely out of his mind and had no idea what he was saying. He only said what he said because of the dream. He loved you in the dream, that's all. It means nothing. Get over it and get your cheating arse home to your boyfriend._

At the thought of Cedric, the flow of tears increased. _How is it possible to love him as much as I do and still be tempted to leave? What the hell is wrong with me? I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want this…I never wanted this…_

"Dray?"

He didn't look up when he heard Blaise's concerned voice.

"Draco, talk to me." Blaise crouched down in front of him and placed a hand on his head, stroking his soft blond hair and trying to comfort him. "Tell me why you're so upset. I thought you wanted to know if he loved you."

"I thought I did too," Draco cried softly into his knees. He lifted his head and used his palms to wipe the tears from his face. "Now it's just…worse. It's more real now and more…"

"Tempting?"

Draco nodded. "It would be completely unfair of me to leave Cedric just because Harry…loves me." The words almost stuck in his throat.

"You can't stay with him out of obligation," Blaise said as he sat down next to and put and arm around him.

"But if I leave him…people will think that I was only using him while I waited for Harry."

"Is that what you did?"

"No!" Draco lifted his face to scowl at his friend, but it came off more like a pout. "I love Cedric so much that it hurts. When I'm with him, I only want to be with him. Well…mostly." He blushed and looked away. "There was that whole calling him Harry during sex episode." He lowered his head. "And the wedding." His stomach clenched with guilt.

"Do you love them both?"

Draco sighed heavily. "I know I love Cedric. That's the one thing I'm absolutely, one hundred percent sure about. But when Harry is near me, I can hardly breathe and I certainly can't think straight, as my prior actions have shown. He's like a drug and I can't tell if he's good or bad for me. And I've never felt anything like it, so I don't know if it's love or obsession."

"I saw the look on your face when he was talking about his dream."

Draco nodded. "I can't deny that a part of me wants that. I want the dog and the long walks and the sleeping together every night. I just don't want to leave Cedric in order to have it."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe staying with Cedric is hurting you both more than leaving would?"

Draco nodded and buried his face back in his knees. "Maybe I should be alone for awhile. Leave them both?" He looked at up at Blaise. "Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I don't have the strength to make this decision."

"I'm not deciding that for you," Blaise said kindly. He rested his hand on the back of Draco's neck and gently ruffled his hair. "But maybe you should talk to Cedric about it. Explain to him how you feel about both of them and let him help you make the decision of whether or not it's worth it for the two of you to continue to fight for what you have."

"Maybe I should move out of the country. I hear Iceland is nice this time of year."

Blaise laughed softly. "You're not going anywhere and you know it."

Draco rested his chin on his knee and sighed. "I hate this, Blaise. I spent twenty four years blocking out this kind of emotion. I never let myself fall in love before and I'm beginning to think I had the right idea all along. My father was right and I never should have doubted him. This whole love thing is way more painful than it's worth."

"That's not true. You just have to get through all the bad to get to the good."

Draco snorted in disbelief. "You'll excuse me if I'm having a hard time believing that."

"You'll make the right decision, Dray. I know you will." Blaise stood and held out a hand to his friend. "And just know that whatever you choose, Pansy and I will be behind you no matter what. We just want you to be happy."

Draco took his hand and let himself be pulled to his feet and into a tight hug.

"I love you," Blaise told him.

"Love you too." Draco squeezed him and let go. He stood in the middle of the bathroom and glanced at the door. "I don't think I want to go back in there right now. I don't think I can handle seeing him right now. I think…maybe I just need some rest."

"Why don't you go home for a while? It's been a long day for you. I promise that Pansy and I will stay with him for a while and make sure he's alright."

Draco nodded. "Thank you." He kissed his friends cheek and hurried downstairs to catch a taxi, desperate to be away from the hospital and the memory of Harry's whispered words.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Thanks for reading everyone!_


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: Happy Saturday, everyone! Thanks for sticking with me and the ridiculous situations I tend to put these boys in. Hope you're all still enjoying it. _

_And now…on with the drama._

*.*.*.*

Chapter Ten

- June 2nd -

"Don't be ridiculous!" Draco shouted as he stormed out of the bedroom, pulling a pale blue shirt over his head and messing up his hair in the process. It really said something about his mood that he didn't even bother to fix it.

"Think about it, Dray," Cedric said calmly as he followed his boyfriend into the living room. "Ron and Hermione will be in Australia for another two weeks, Pansy and Blaise have family staying with them, Luna and Neville live in a one bedroom flat and Seamus and Lavender share a house with another couple. No one has any idea where his Godfather is or how to track down any of his family. We are the only option that makes sense."

"He's not living here!" Draco was sure that he was on the verge of passing out, his blood pressure was so high. _I can't believe he wants him here! Is he doing this to punish me?_

"What is the matter with you?" Cedric folded his arms over his chest and stared at the blond in confusion. "Isn't this argument a bit backwards? Shouldn't you be the one fighting to have him here instead of me?"

Draco shot him a dirty look. "Oh, I see…I was wondering how long it would be before you started throwing _that_ in my face. You think I'm so eager to have my 'lover' here under my own roof. Easy access and all."

Cedric sighed in frustration and scratched his head. "I didn't say that, did I?" He cautiously approached the irate blond and took his arm, forcing him to turn around. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Why are _you_ acting like this?" he snapped.

Cedric couldn't help but roll his eyes.

Draco's jaw dropped. "Don't you _dare_ roll your eyes at me!"

"Then stop acting like a petulant child. I'm actually waiting for you to stomp your foot and threaten to tell your father on me."

Grey eyes narrowed into angry slits as Draco tried to shake off the hand that was holding his wrist. "This is my flat, Cedric, and if I say I don't want him here, then he's not staying."

"This is _our_ flat and I think you should reconsider."

"No!"

"You're being a bastard, you know that?"

Draco shoved Cedric away and grabbed his keys. "I'm going to see him, but I'm not extending your invitation."

Cedric sighed and flopped back onto the couch. "He has nowhere to go, Dray. And I really think he needs to be with friends after what happened."

"Friends? We aren't his 'friends', Cedric."

"You are, in an untraditional sort of way." Cedric leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and sighed heavily. "Look…I don't like the idea of him being here everyday, but it's only for a few weeks. Until he can get around by himself. We can't just abandon him, Draco. We're both better than that."

Draco stood with his hand on the doorknob, his shoulders slumping forward as the urge to fight finally left him. "You don't worry about me being around him everyday? You don't worry about leaving us alone together while you're at work?"

"Do you?"

Draco sighed and turned to face him. "Yes."

Cedric stood and slowly walked over to him. "Is that why you haven't been to see him?"

Draco gave a jerky nod. "I'm afraid that he'll try to tear us apart." He swallowed heavily. "I'm even more afraid that I'll let him."

Cedric attempted a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Well…we'll just have to cross that bridge when it comes."

Draco looked up at him. "No. And that's my final answer. I'll pay for him to stay somewhere else, but he's not stepping foot in our flat." He grabbed his keys and stormed out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

*.*.*.*

Draco stood in the doorway, unobserved, watching his best friend and his ex-lover as they spoke softly to each other. He smiled when he heard a soft snort from Harry, then his smile grew wider when he heard another snort, this time from Pansy.

"If you ever tell anyone that I made that sound," she laughed.

Harry lay back on his pillow, winded from laughter, but the smile never left his face. "I won't," he promised.

"I, on the other hand, can and will make no such promises," Draco said as he walked in.

Harry's smile faltered as he looked up at the blond. "Malfoy," he said softly, then turned back to Pansy.

Draco flinched. _Wow…that was surprisingly painful._ "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thanks."

"I'm going to go get some coffee." Pansy stood and was out the door before Harry had a chance to protest.

"What do you want?" Harry asked.

Draco's brow furrowed. _What the hell?_ He shook off his confusion and forced a smiled onto his face. He was pleased to see that Harry's left eye had healed enough that he could open it again. "Your face looks better."

"Still hurts like a bitch though." Harry picked up the television remote and flipped it on. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Harry…what's wrong?" Draco sat down in the chair next to the bed and tried to take his hand, but Harry pulled away.

"You know…I've been here for four days and I've seen _Cedric_ more than I've seen you," Harry finally said.

Draco let his head fall and he sighed. "I know. I'm sorry."

Harry forced a laugh. "Whatever." He turned the television off and started adjusting the blankets that covered his legs. "If you don't mind, I should sleep."

"Harry…I…" Draco couldn't find the words he wanted to say, so he fell silent.

Harry stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to finish. "Where the hell have you been, Draco?" he finally said when the silence continued. His voice was small and filled with pain.

Draco shrugged and picked at a loose thread on his pants.

"Cedric kept trying to reassure me. He told me you were busy…that you had work to do. He kept promising you'd show up and you didn't." He laughed a soft, bitter laugh. "I never thought I'd see the day that your boyfriend would be reassuring me about you."

"I was…thinking."

"About what? You told me you would be here when I got out of surgery. Why would you lie?"

Draco's head snapped up. "What…I _was_ here when you got out of surgery. You and I talked." His heart leapt into his throat when he realized the truth. "You don't remember." _You don't remember telling me that you love me._

Harry gave him a disbelieving look. "Clearly not."

Draco looked away. "I told you I would be here. I gave you my word."

"I must have been pretty drugged up to not remember."

"So, why didn't you just ask Cedric or Blaise or Pansy if I had been here instead of just assuming that I don't keep my promises?"

"I'm…I'm sorry. I'm not really comfortable talking to them about you…especially Cedric." He blushed lightly and looked down at his hands. "I just didn't want them to know how much it bothered me that you didn't care enough to come see me."

Draco huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "You think I don't_ care_?" he yelled.

Harry flinched and looked away.

Draco's breath caught when he saw a brief flash of fear in the other man's eyes. "Jesus…I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Harry nodded, but wouldn't look at him. He just swallowed heavily and stared at the wall, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

Draco sighed again and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked back to see the smaller man had turned his face away from him and his whole body was shaking with silent sobs.

"Hey," Draco said softly as he moved over to the bed and touched Harry's arm.

Harry flinched violently and let out a short, anguished cry.

Cursing quietly under his breath, Draco kicked off his shoes and slid the blankets back. He climbed into bed with him and gently brought him against his chest, pulling the blanket up around him and holding him so tightly that he was surprised he didn't do more damage. He pressed his cheek to the top of Harry's head and rocked him.

"What…am I…going…to do?" Harry finally choked out between sobs.

"Shh…just breathe, love, you have to breathe."

"I have nothing," he continued, ignoring Draco's pleas for him to calm down. "How do I…I can't pay and…and I don't have a job or a car or a house…" He turned and pressed his face into Draco's neck. "What am I supposed to do? I'm alone again…and…he doesn't love me." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and let out another choked sob. "For fucking years I believed him…I believed that he loved me. But he doesn't. He hates me…he told me he hates me…and he wishes I were dead. He's never gotten so mad before…I was so…scared…"

Draco rubbed his hands up Harry's back and arms, desperate to stop the violent trembling that felt like it was shaking the entire bed. "Breathe, Harry…for me baby, please…just breathe." Draco could feel his own tears threatening to fall, but he ignored them.

Reluctantly, Harry let Draco help him sit up and forced a deep, stuttering breath.

Draco grabbed a tissue from the night stand and dried Harry's face of tears. "Good…again."

Harry took another deep breath and coughed as he exhaled, his tears still falling.

Draco rubbed his back and brought his hand to rest on the back of Harry's neck; his fingertips gently stroking his burning skin.

Harry shut his eyes tight and took another unsteady breath, but it came easier this time.

"You're not alone," Draco whispered as he leaned forward and gently kissed his temple. "I will never leave you all alone. Not when you need me."

"I do," Harry said, his eyes still closed, but his breathing was steadier. "I need you, Draco."

Draco wrapped his arms around him, careful to avoid his casted arm, and guided him back until they were lying against the pillows. "Now, you just concentrate on breathing and listen to me."

Harry nodded.

"I know you're stubborn and don't like to ask for help, but you're going to swallow your pride and let me help you, right?"

Harry hesitated briefly then nodded.

"Good." Draco kissed his head. "You're going to be discharged in a couple hours and you're going to come stay with me and Cedric. I work nights and he works days, so between our schedules, there will always be someone there in case you need us."

Harry was silent for a moment before he nodded. "Thank you," he whispered.

"I already asked the nurse to forward your bills to me. I will pay them in full so you won't have to worry about that."

Harry sat up and turned to him, eyes wide. "Oh no, Draco…I don't think you realize how expensive they'll be. I can't let you do that."

"I know how much it is." Draco gently stroked Harry's cheek. "I have the money, Harry…what else am I going to spend it on?"

"It's too much," he protested.

"Just…let me, alright? I want to do this for you."

Harry gazed into Draco's eyes and seemed to find something there that eased his mind. He nodded and leaned back into the blond's arms. "What would I do without you?" he mumbled softly.

Draco smiled and rested his chin on the top of Harry's head. "Just rest."

Harry closed his tired eyes and was asleep in an instant.

Draco was right behind him.

*.*.*.*

"Dray? Dray, wake up."

Draco groaned softly and pressed his face into a mop of soft hair, shielding his sleep sensitive eyes from the harsh glare of florescent lights.

"Come on, Dray…we have to get Harry ready to go."

Draco sighed. "I'm so warm."

"Draco, wake up!"

His eyes popped open and he turned his head to look up into the smirking face of Blaise Zabini.

"Do you really want your boyfriend walking in on you like this?" Pansy asked from beside her husband.

Draco realized that he had at some point turned onto his side and his body was pressed tightly up against Harry, who was lying flat on his back. Harry's left arm was still in its sling and held firmly against his chest, but his good arm had somehow slid underneath Draco and his hand was under the blond's shirt, his fingers resting gently on the small of his back.

"Cedric is on his way," Blaise told him. "You should probably get up."

Draco shifted slightly.

"No," Harry groaned, sliding his hand to Draco's waist and holding him tighter. "Hm…you're so soft."

"I am not _soft_," he argued, his cheeks flushing a dark pink.

Pansy laughed and turned away when Draco glared at her.

"Harry…let go of me. It's time to wake up."

"I'm tired," the dark hair man whined.

Draco kissed his head. "I know you are, love, but we have to get you home and then you can sleep all day if you want to."

Harry opened his eyes and sighed as he let go of the blond. "You're like the perfect pillow," he said as he sat up.

Pansy snickered again, but this time she knew better than to look at her friend.

Draco's face felt like it was on fire. He was already embarrassed that his friends had caught them curled up in bed together, and Harry's waking comments were doing nothing to help. "Yes, I'm sure Cedric would agree with you."

Harry gave him a funny look. "What's wrong?"

Draco waved him off, but wouldn't look at him. "Nothing. I'm going to get your stuff together." He disappeared into the bathroom and started collecting Harry's things._ Whose stupid idea was this anyway? Having him in our home…we might as well break up now._ He took Harry's things into the main room and put them in the duffle bag that was lying open on a chair.

Cedric walked in with Harry's nurse, who was giving him a rundown of his antibiotics and painkillers. Once satisfied that Cedric understood her instructions, she sat down on the bed beside Harry to go over his discharge papers.

"I knew you'd give in," Cedric said with a slight smile. He tossed Harry's medication into the bag, then threw an arm around Draco's shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Yeah, yeah…you know everything," Draco said, still blushing, even though he was no longer sure _why_ he was blushing. He shrugged Cedric off and continued packing Harry's bag.

"I stopped by my parent's house. My grandmother's wheelchair was in the attic, so they let me borrow it and I brought it over to the flat to help him get around."

Draco gave him a surprised look. "You were that confident I would change my mind?"

Cedric just smiled and shrugged.

"Well, Mr. Potter," the nurse said with a smile as she stood. "You are free to go home now." She looked over at Pansy, Blaise, Cedric and Draco. "You four take good care of him." She gave Harry another soft smile and touched his hand before leaving the room.

Cedric flung Harry's bag over his shoulder. "Help him downstairs and I'll go get the car."

Blaise ducked out into the hallway and grabbed a wheelchair. He helped Harry get settled into it, then moved aside so Draco could take over.

"Grab his crutches," Draco said over his shoulder as he pushed Harry out the door.

"I won't be able to use them anyway," Harry said as he motioned to the sling that held his arm in place against his chest. He looked up at Draco. "How am I supposed to get around your flat?"

"Cedric brought his grandmothers old wheelchair over. The floors are all hardwood and we'll pull up all the rugs and move some furniture around to make it a bit easier. The entire place is pretty open and uncluttered already, so you should be fine." Draco kept his eyes straight ahead while he spoke.

"Thank you again," Harry said as he turned back around.

Blaise put Harry's crutches in the backseat then he and Pansy said their goodbyes to the very odd trio that were piling into Cedric's car and promised to visit them later that week.

Draco waved to his friends, then helped Harry into the passenger seat and climbed in back behind him. The three men were quiet as they headed home, the only sounds being Harry's deep breathing while he slept, his head pressed against the window pane.

"Think he's going to be alright?" Cedric asked after a long silence.

"The doctors say he will be," Draco said softly, his eyes never leaving the back of Harry's head.

"No, I don't mean physically."

Draco's eyes moved to the window, watching how Harry's breaths left little foggy patches on the glass. His black wire framed glasses were crooked and digging into his nose and his mouth hung slightly open. _He looks like a kid like that._

"I can't imagine you so much as slapping me," Cedric continued. He glanced over at Harry with a small, sad smile. "What goes through your head in a situation like that? I mean, yeah, the physical pain of it has to be brutal, but emotionally…" He shook his head and turned his attention back to the road.

Draco swallowed heavily and finally pulled his eyes away from Harry. "He has nightmares." He could remember a few times before, when they had stayed together at night, when Harry had stirred restlessly and cried out in his sleep. If it had been bad before, he couldn't imagine what was to come.

"I'm sure he does. How could he not?"

Draco turned to look out the window.

As if he had heard them, Harry let out a soft whimper in his sleep, his breaths coming faster.

Before Cedric could react, Draco's hand shot out and was stroking the back of Harry's neck.

"Should I pull over?" Cedric asked, looking at Harry in concern.

"No. He'll be okay." Draco leaned forward so his face was resting between the headrest and window and his lips were pressed to Harry's hair. "Harry…you're okay. Wake up now. It's just me…it's Draco." He kissed his head softly.

Harry jerked and let out a deep groan as his face contorted in pain.

Cedric reached over and gently held down Harry's bad arm. "I think he hurt himself. I'm pulling over."

"Harry," Draco said, a little more forcefully. "Wake up."

"No!" Harry sat up, smacking the back of his head against Draco's face.

"Oh, fucking Christ!" Draco hissed as he grabbed his bleeding nose and fell back against his seat.

Cedric continued to hold Harry back as he finally managed to pull over into a parking lot.

Harry tried to push Cedric's hand away. "Stop it," he pleaded softly.

"Calm down and I'll let go of you."

Harry frowned and pushed harder against Cedric's hand. "Don't."

"Will you please just relax?" Cedric took his seatbelt off and leaned over Harry to grab some napkins from the glove box. "Here you go, love."

Draco took the napkins from Cedric and pressed them to his face. He tilted his head back and pinched his nose.

Harry turned to look back at him and his eyes grew wide in alarm. "What happened?"

"You head butted me." _Huh…never thought those words would come out of my mouth._

His eyes grew wider. "Oh God…Draco…"

"It's alright," Cedric insisted, patting Harry's knee a bit awkwardly. "He just got a little too close while you were having a nightmare."

Harry blushed heavily and looked away. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Draco insisted. His nose stopped bleeding, so he sat forward and tried to smile, even though his face was pretty sore. He knew he'd have a bruise, but there was no way he was going to let Harry know that he was in pain.

Harry attempted a smile, but quickly gave up and turned around in his seat.

Cedric looked at Draco who gave him a silent signal to continue their way home.

Harry rested his head against the glass and stared blankly out the window in silence.

*.*.*.*

"Are you comfortable?" Draco asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Harry nodded and smiled. His eyes were red and puffy and were starting to close, but he suddenly jerked and struggled to sit up.

Draco helped him, frowning at him all the while. "I don't understand why you're fighting it," he said as he tucked a fluffy pillow under his fractured ankle and readjusted the blankets. "You look exhausted."

"I'm fine," Harry insisted, though he refused to make eye contact. He looked around the room instead. "You have a really nice place." The room he was staying in was decorated in soft colors. The linens were white and pale blue with curtains on the window to match. There was an old roll top desk by the window and a chair in the corner by the bookshelves, which lined an entire wall. This room had always made Draco feel peaceful and he was hoping it would have the same effect on Harry. "I like it here," Harry said in approval.

"Thank you." Draco tried to look him in the eye, but quickly realized that it was useless. "You need to sleep, Harry. You're not going to heal if you don't rest."

Harry nodded and swallowed.

Draco reached out and took Harry's hand. "If you don't talk to us, how will we be able to help you?"

"You can't help," Harry said softly, though there was a faint trace of anger there. He took a deep breath and finally looked at his companion. "I'm afraid to fall asleep."

"I'll stay here with you until you do."

Harry smiled a sad smile. "And then you'll go sleep in Cedric's arms, safe and warm and loved…" He gently pulled his hand from Draco's and stared out the window.

"Harry…"

"It's fine." Harry tried to force a smile onto his bruised and swollen face. "You deserve to be loved and Cedric's a good man. A better man than me, for sure. I'm glad you have someone like him."

Draco nodded. "You deserve to be loved too."

Harry swallowed thickly and blinked his eyes a few times. "I should go to sleep now."

Draco moved over to the chair and settled in. "I'll be right here," he said with a reassuring smile.

Harry turned his back to the blond and lay down, pressing his face into soft pillows that smelled like Draco. He inhaled deeply, then sighed as his eyes finally fell shut.

Draco leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. _This is going to be a long couple of weeks._

"He's asleep?" Cedric whispered. He walked up behind his boyfriend and gently rubbed his shoulders.

Draco shrugged. "I think so."

"I ran you a bath." Cedric leaned over and gently brushed his lips over Draco's neck. "And I opened a bottle of that wine you like." He kissed his lovers jaw. "Why don't you go get in and I'll bring you a glass. You can relax in there while I make us some dinner."

Draco turned his head and captured Cedric's lips in a gentle kiss. "Have I said today how much I love you?"

Cedric grinned at him. "Nope…that's the first I've heard of it."

Draco smiled as he stood and quickly kissed him. Then he turned back to Harry and adjusted his blankets, tucking him in tight. "Good night," he whispered then he kissed his head before leading Cedric from the room and shutting the door behind him.

*.*.*.*

- June 3rd -

Draco stretched his arms over his head and moaned as the muscles and bones in his back popped and cracked. He smiled to himself as he rolled over toward Cedric, only to find empty space. He glanced at the clock which read 10:07 am. Cedric was long gone for work.

He dragged himself out of bed and grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms from the floor, pulling them up over his hips as he stumbled to the bathroom that attached to their bedroom. He yawned and scratched at his hair which was sticking up in all directions and frowned at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"I think it's cute."

Draco turned to see Harry sitting in his wheelchair, giggling softly. "Look who's talking," he said as he motioned to the brunet's untamable hair. He grabbed his toothbrush and began brushing his teeth. He rinsed, flossed and gargled then turned to see Harry still watching him from the bathroom door. "What?"

Harry just smiled and shrugged.

Draco rolled his eyes at him and grabbed his brush.

"No, please leave it like that," Harry begged as he very slowly and awkwardly pulled himself forward with his right foot.

Draco snorted. "No way. I'm not letting anyone see me like this."

"But I'm the only one here and I've already seen it." Harry stuck out his lower lip. "Please, Draco?"

Draco rolled his eyes again. "Fine." He threw the brush down on the counter and stared down at Harry. "What are you so happy about anyway?"

Harry shrugged for the second time that morning. "Cedric gave me my pain killers about an hour ago, so that might have something to do with it. I've just been wandering around my room mostly. And I found this in the desk." He held up a neatly folded, but obviously worn piece of paper.

Draco's eyes grew wide. "That's mine."

"Well…technically, since I wrote it…"

Draco tried to grab it from him.

"Ah, ah, ah," Harry protested, tucking the letter into his shirt. "What are you willing to do for it?"

Draco glared down at him, his heart pounding. "Fine. It's just a stupid letter anyway." He pushed passed Harry and stormed down the hall to the kitchen.

By the time Harry had caught up to him, Draco was sitting at the table with the kettle well on its way to boiling while he sat at the kitchen table and waited.

Harry was breathing heavily as he finally managed to pull himself through the door.

Draco looked over at him and his face softened when he noticed the sweat on his forehead and the paleness of his face. _God I'm a git._ "You're going to hurt yourself." He stood and wheeled Harry to the table.

"Thanks," Harry said softly.

Draco prepared two cups of tea and brought them to the table. He set Harry's down in front of him, then froze when he saw his letter sitting on his placemat. He sat down and ran his fingers over the piece of paper he knew like the back of his hand. "Thanks for giving it back."

"I didn't know it meant that much to you." Harry had the good sense to look ashamed.

Draco blushed and shrugged. "No one's ever written me anything like this before." He looked up at Harry and smiled. "You were the first person to ever tell me that I'm beautiful."

Harry's brow furrowed. "I find that very hard to believe."

Draco laughed softly and shook his head. "It's true. I've never really been seen as boyfriend material before so kind words were few and far between back then. Or any words at all for that matter."

"That's ridiculous." Harry rolled his chair closer and took Draco's hand. "You really don't know how amazing you are, do you?"

Draco forced a laugh to cover his unease.

"No…really, Draco." Harry reached out and tucked a few unruly strands of hair behind the blond's ear. "You truly are the most beautiful man I have ever met in my entire life." He brushed his fingers over Draco's cheek, chin and lips. "Inside and out."

Draco blushed and ducked his head.

Harry frowned as he took the blond's chin in his hand and forced him to look up again. "I would think that with Cedric, you would believe these things. Doesn't he tell you how incredible you are?"

"Well, yes, but…I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe I'm just used to his compliments."

"Or maybe he's just not saying it right."

Draco frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Harry laughed. "I didn't mean anything bad," he said. "I just…maybe he can't put it into words. I know I always had trouble with it." He gave Draco a sad smile. "He loves you so much."

Draco squeezed his hand. "And I love him."

Harry just stared into his eyes for a long moment before nodding and letting go of his hand. "Yes…I certainly mucked that up for myself, didn't I?"

Draco's heart began to race and he cleared his throat heavily. "Well…things usually turn out the way they should."

Harry gave a bitter laugh and made a vague hand movement, motioning to his broken body. "Really?"

"That isn't what I meant." He took the brunet's hand in his. "No one deserves what that bastard did to you."

Harry nodded and looked down at their joined hands.

"Why did he do it? What set him off?"

Harry seemed surprised at the question. He pursed his lips together and pulled his hands free from Draco's grip, then took a long sip of his tea. "Well…he came home really drunk and…he wanted me to tell him that I loved him. I refused to say it, so he beat the hell out of me."

Draco sat next to him in astonishment. "Why…why didn't you just tell him what he wanted to hear?"

Harry wiped his tearing eyes. "'I love you' isn't something I'm willing to say if I don't mean it. And I didn't love him…I _don't_ love him…so I refused."

Draco stopped breathing, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. "So…you've never said it to anyone?"

"Just my Godfather, Ron and Hermione."

_And me._

Draco sat back in his chair and looked Harry over. From what Draco had learned of him, Harry had never been the most confident person in the world, and what little confidence he had had seemed to be long gone now. His shoulders were hunched forward and his back curved as he slouched in his seat. His eyes didn't shine like they had that first night they had spent together and he seemed to have a problem with holding eye contact. Draco's chest hurt as he looked at his broken ex-lover. He wanted to fix him.

Harry quickly wiped his eyes and looked up, forcing a smile. "I'm tired of crying all the time. I'm tired of being afraid."

Draco took Harry's hand in both of his and softly ran his fingertips over the lines of his palm.

"You know…he didn't hit me for months. He had stopped drinking and was seeing a therapist and he was kind and attentive and fun. Things were really, _really_ good between us."

"What changed?"

Harry shrugged. "We came home from Germany. I don't know if it's his friends here or the culture or his family…I don't know. The day after we got back, he started drinking again. Then the day after that… well…" He motioned to himself. "It was like those three months of peace built up until one day he just…exploded. It had never been like that. It was never that bad."

Draco squeezed his hand, silently encouraging him to continue.

"I had never really thought that he would kill me before. But that night, I really believed that I was going to die. And all I could think about was you…and how your letter was right to tell me to stay away from him and how I would never get to see you smile again and that you…_you_ would never do that to me."

"Hey," Draco moved his chair closer and took the nearly crying boy into his arms.

Harry wrapped his one good arm around Draco and held tightly. "I thought…_fuck_, Draco…I thought I'd never get the chance to see you again," he cried.

Draco kissed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think about what would have happened if Harry hadn't survived. "I would have died," he whispered before kissing his head again.

Harry sniffled softly then he turned his head and pressed his lips lightly against Draco's.

Draco kissed him slowly. He cradled Harry's face in his hands and stroked his cheeks with his thumbs, then gently pulled away and rested their foreheads together.

Harry sighed softly and took Draco's hand. "I need to bathe," he laughed. He blushed and looked away. "Do you think you can help me?"

"Of course." Draco ran his fingers through Harry's messy tangle of black hair, then leaned in and kissed him quickly. "Let's go." He pushed the wheelchair down the hall, passed the guest bathroom and to the one that attached to the master bedroom. He parked Harry next to the large bathtub.

"What do we do about my casts?"

Draco hurried to the kitchen then back with a huge smile on his face. He held up a couple of black trash bags and a roll of duct tape.

Harry laughed.

Draco knelt before him and began fiddling with the air cast that held Harry's left foot immobile. "The doc said you could remove this one for bathing, but you have to keep it on otherwise or it won't heal right." He took a few minutes to remove the soft cast and unwrap Harry's swollen ankle before gently placing it back on one of the footrests. "Feel okay?"

Harry nodded. "Just sore."

Draco eyed the hard plaster cast that covered Harry's left arm up to his elbow. "We'll have to get you undressed before we wrap this one." Draco set the supplies down and gently lifted the sling over his head. He tossed it aside and reached down to pull the t-shirt off.

"Wait," Harry pleaded, his hand grabbing Draco's.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

Harry blushed. "Can we…turn the lights down or something? I…I'm ugly."

Draco stared in shock. "How can you possibly believe that? You are not ugly, Harry. Besides…I've seen you naked many times." He gently took the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it up over Harry's head, being sure not to jerk his arm around. When he finally saw the brunet's chest, he cringed.

Harry used his good arm to cover himself. "I told you," he said softly.

Draco swallowed heavily and had to silently count to ten to keep from exploding in anger._ If I ever see that fucking bastard again, he's a dead man!_

"Maybe I'll just wait until tomorrow." Harry tried to reach for the shirt that Draco was still holding.

Draco realized that his lack of response was only reinforcing Harry's belief that he was unattractive, so he tossed the shirt aside and crouched in front of him. He looked him in the eye for a moment, trying to non-verbally reassure him before letting his eyes move down to examine the rest of his injuries. "He burned you?" He gently took Harry's arm and pulled it away from his chest so he could see the half-dozen or so small, round burns that were just beginning to heal.

Harry managed a small nod, never looking away from Draco's face. "Remember when I said that he didn't like me smoking?"

Draco looked up into sad green eyes and tried to smile. He leaned forward and gently brushed his lips over Harry's wounds. "You're still beautiful," he whispered, his lips caressing skin that was paler than usual.

Harry's body went rigid at the feel of Draco's lips, but he didn't try to push him away.

The blond moved his mouth lower to a horrible purple bruise that was running along Harry's ribs. He gently ran his tongue over the tender skin and smiled when he felt Harry shiver against him. "Still beautiful," he whispered again.

Harry wiped at his tearing eyes, but managed a small smile.

Draco's lips traveled up Harry's side and back to his chest. He licked lightly at a nipple, then sucked it gently before moving up towards what appeared to be a vicious bite mark on his shoulder. It was bruised and the wound had been stitched closed and Draco was sick at the thought of it. He kissed and licked and sucked lightly at the healthy skin around the wounds. "Absolutely beautiful," he whispered.

Harry stopped trying to fight his tears and brought a hand up to rest at the back of Draco's neck.

Draco's fingers brushed over Harry's skin as they moved down to the tie on his pajama bottoms. He pulled the string and sat back. "Lift," he said softly.

Harry hesitated for a moment, then lifted himself enough for Draco to pull them off.

"You haven't been eating enough," Draco commented with a frown. He traced his fingers down the muscles in Harry's stomach and over to finger shaped bruises on his hips. His eyes grew wide and his breath caught. "Harry…did he…did he force you?"

Harry looked away. "Well…not…not really. I just…I thought if I let him, then maybe he would stop hitting me." He shuddered and closed his eyes. "I was too tired and sore to fight anymore."

"Harry…that's still rape," Draco said softly. He took Harry's chin in his hand and tilted his head up. "Did you tell the doctors?"

Harry shook his head. "He didn't really leave me with much dignity…I wanted to hold on to what little was left."

Draco sat back on his heels and sighed. He grabbed a plastic bag and the roll of duct tape and spent a few minutes covering his left arm.

Once satisfied that Harry's injured limb would stay dry, he turned the water on and tested the temperature then slipped off his own pajama bottoms. He turned to Harry and gently lifted him into his arms.

Harry blushed and smiled at him.

Draco brushed a kiss over his forehead and then stepped into the large tub. He lowered Harry and helped him arrange himself so that he was comfortable, then he situated himself behind him, pulling Harry with him to rest against his chest. "Make sure you're not putting too much pressure on that foot. Try to keep it as relaxed as possible."

Harry did as he said.

Draco let the tub fill just passed their waists, then he used his foot to shut off the tap. He grabbed the washcloth and soap that had been sitting on the ledge and began to gently wash Harry's body.

"Hmm…that feels nice," Harry moaned softly.

Draco pressed his face into Harry's neck and gently kissed him. He slowly slid the cloth lower and lower down his chest and stomach, then paused when his hand touched water. He waited for Harry to give him some direction.

Harry put a trembling hand over Draco's and gently pushed it below the surface. He sighed and tilted his head back when Draco's long, smooth fingers finally touched him.

Draco dropped the washcloth and wrapped his hand around Harry's growing erection. He slowly started stroking, his soapy hand sliding over him with ease. "Are you sure about this?" he asked. He let his hand move down further and gently fondled his balls.

Harry's breath caught and he nodded. "Yes…please…I just, I don't want to think about him anymore."

Once assured, Draco brought his hand back up and began to stroke harder and faster. His lips moved from Harry's neck to his ear. "You are so very beautiful," he reassured him once again. His hand moved faster as the other hand slid up his chest to pinch and stroke at his nipple.

Harry grunted and moaned. Draco knew if it hadn't been for the wire that held his broken jaw together, Harry would be gasping and panting and making even more noise than he already was. He missed those sounds.

"The way you move…the way you taste…" Draco slowly ran his tongue from Harry's shoulder, up his neck and to his ear. "The noises you make when I touch you…the smell of your skin…" He buried his face in Harry's neck and breathed deeply. "It's all beautiful. More beautiful than you will ever know." He nibbled gently on Harry's earlobe as he squeezed a little tighter.

"Draco," Harry whispered, his hips rocking gently, trying to force Draco to quicken the pace.

Draco sucked on Harry's neck, though he was careful not to mark him. "I love how you feel against me."

Harry whimpered, his hand clutching at Draco's knee. His eyes fluttered shut and he breathed deeply from his nose as he pushed himself back even harder against Draco's chest.

"And your eyes," Draco whispered, his breathe blowing hot in the brunet's ear. "Just looking into your eyes is enough to make me want you." His left hand slid to join his right, both hands moving over Harry's hardness, making him cry out in ecstasy. "God, Harry…you are so fucking _sexy_."

Harry arched his back and let out a long, drawn out cry as he came all over Draco's hands and his own chest. His body shook uncontrollably and tears filled his eyes as the blond continued to stroke him gently, milking him dry.

Draco nuzzled Harry's neck and finally released him from his grip, letting his hands slowly move up to lightly caress his stomach.

Harry shifted until his upper body was lying sideways against Draco's chest. He pressed his face into his neck and closed his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered.

Draco kissed his head. "It was my pleasure, love."

Harry shifted again, but stopped moving when he felt Draco's erection press into his hip. He looked up at the blond. "What about you?" He yawned and pressed his face back into Draco's neck.

Draco laughed and rubbed his back. "I'm fine. I'll take care of it later." He tilted Harry's head up so he could kiss him. "Now let's finish getting you cleaned up and back to bed."

Harry sat forward and hugged his knees while Draco washed his hair and back for him. He was almost asleep when he felt a warm towel around his neck and heard the sounds of the water draining from the bathtub.

Draco lifted Harry from the tub and set him down to sit on the ledge. He held him up with one arm and quickly dried him off, knowing the now exhausted boy would fall over if he let go for even a moment.

When he had dried him off the best he could, he removed the bag from his arm and made quick work of recasting his leg. He lifted Harry's too light form into his arms, cradling him tightly against his chest as he carried him to the spare room. As carefully as possible, he lowered the fragile man to the bed and covered him, not bothering to dress him first.

He went back to the bathroom to clean up and dress, then he pushed Harry's wheelchair back to his bedside.

"You're still hard."

He looked over at Harry and smiled. "Go to sleep, love."

"Come lay with me," Harry begged, holding out his hand.

Draco pulled back the covers and climbed in. He propped himself on his elbow and gazed down into sleepy green eyes. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but they seemed to be just a tiny bit brighter than they had been earlier. He smiled at the thought.

"I hate this wire," Harry complained. "I want to kiss you so badly."

Draco leaned over and softly pressed their lips together. He ran his tongue over Harry's lips, then gently parted them, licking at his teeth, and understood the other man's frustration. He really wanted to feel Harry's tongue in his mouth.

Harry moaned softly as Draco nibbled at his lips, then sucked his lower lip into his mouth. He pulled away from the blond and moved his mouth to his neck. He kissed and brushed his lips over the sensitive skin below his ear. "Can I touch you?"

Draco moaned and took Harry's hand, guiding it into his pajamas. Harry pumped him slowly, though Draco immediately felt like he was going to explode.

Harry traced Draco's ear with his lips. "I wish I could taste you."

Draco panted and his hand joined Harry's, forcing him to move faster.

Harry breathed lightly in Draco's ear, occasionally kissing him. "How many times have you thought about me when you were doing this?"

Draco laughed breathlessly. "Too many to count." He felt himself getting closer, so his hand covered Harry's, slowing his strokes. He sighed when Harry's lips were suddenly at his throat, gently ghosting over his Adam's apple, his warm breath sending shivers up his spine.

"I thought about you every time I fucked Oliver," Harry breathed against Draco's shoulder. "Every time I slid into him, I would close my eyes and see your face, wishing it was you." He ducked his head and ran his slightly chapped lips over Draco's nipple. "I can't wait until I can suck you again."

Draco's eyes fell shut as he growled softly at Harry's words.

Harry removed his hand from Draco's cock. "Keep going," he whispered. He slid his hand under the covers to take himself in hand and pressed his forehead against Draco's temple, breathing in time with him as they both stroked themselves.

Draco turned on his side so they could look at each other. Their frantic breathing and quiet moans mingled together between them. Draco kissed him softly, then gently bit down on his lower lip.

Harry groaned. He pulled his hand free from the blankets and pushed Draco's hand aside, taking him in his fist and pulling fast and hard.

Draco tried to hold eye contact, but his eyes closed with the force of his orgasm. He threw his head back and cried out as stars of bright white decorated the insides of his eyelids. "Harry," he gasped. He opened his eyes and looked over at wide, emerald eyes filled with lust. Still trembling, Draco pushed himself up onto his knees and threw the blankets back.

"I love your face when you come," Harry said softly, smiling up at him.

Draco returned the smile, then leaned over and took Harry into his mouth.

The brunet gasped and bucked his hips, his right hand clenching into silky strands of white blond hair.

Draco sucked and licked and stroked faster and faster and he could tell that Harry wasn't going to last long. He gently cupped his balls, stroking them, then slid his hand down further.

Harry let his legs fall open, but whimpered in protest when Draco suddenly released his cock and turned his head away.

"Hold on," Draco whispered, then he licked his fingers quickly. He took Harry back into his mouth and sucked at the head. He brought his hand up and gently prodded at his tight opening before carefully slipping a finger in.

Harry let out a long, deep moan.

Draco ran the flat of his tongue up Harry's cock, then wrapped his lips around him, sucking hard and flicking his tongue. He pushed his finger in deep and on the first try, hit Harry's prostate.

Harry arched his back and let out a surprised shout as he came hard, without warning, into Draco's mouth. He lightly thrust his hips a few times, mumbling incoherently and trying desperately to voice his approval, but he was too blissfully tired to get much out other than a few satisfied grunts.

Draco smiled to himself as he licked him clean, then sat up and looked down at him with a soft laugh.

"Good aim," Harry said breathlessly. He chucked softly and closed his eyes.

Draco crawled up beside him and kissed him softly. "Sleep now. I'll wake you for dinner."

Harry was asleep before the blond finished speaking.

*.*.*.*

Draco was sitting on the couch in the dark, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands as he waited for his boyfriend to get home.

He looked up at the sound of the front door opening.

Cedric flashed him a bright smile as he walked in, two bags of take out in his arms, and flicked on a light. "Hey love…how's our patient?"

Draco swallowed back the bile that threatened to choke him at Cedric's casual and almost fond mention of Harry. "He's been asleep pretty much all day. Woke for a little while around two, but he's been out since."

"I brought dinner." Cedric leaned over to kiss the top of Draco's head, then carried the bags into the kitchen. "Why are you sitting in the dark?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Just…thinking." Draco followed him into the kitchen. "I have a bit of headache."

Cedric pulled out some plates and silverware and began to set the table. "Did something happen?"

Draco froze. "What?"

Cedric looked up at his boyfriend's panic stricken face, but didn't seem to recognize the look for fear. "Did Harry have nightmares or something?" he clarified.

Draco breathed deeply, trying to control his racing heart. He managed a shrug. "No, I think he was okay as far as I could tell. Just…it was emotional."

"He talked about it?"

"A little."

Cedric gave a nod. "Well, do you want to go wake him for dinner? I picked up Italian and they had a pretty good soup selection, so I got a few different kinds. We can puree the ones that have veggies or noodles and whatever he doesn't eat today we can reheat later."

"Uh…sure. Sounds great." Draco turned and hurried out of the kitchen, hoping that the distance between them would ease his guilt and nausea.

He knocked softly on Harry's door, then went inside to find him lying on his back, snoring softly.

Draco sighed heavily and sat down beside him. "Harry." He pushed the boy's unruly hair back from his forehead. "Wake up. It's time for dinner."

Harry grunted and gently pushed at Draco's hand. "No."

Draco laughed. "Come on lazy. You've been sleeping all day."

Harry sighed and opened his eyes with a smile. "Hello."

Draco smiled back at him. "Cedric is home. He brought you some soup." He helped Harry sit up.

"Why does he have to be such a nice guy?" Harry asked with a scowl. "It makes it way harder to hate him."

Draco laughed again. "Come on. Let's go eat."

"I wish it was just me and you," Harry whispered as he buried his face in Draco's chest.

Draco sighed and lifted Harry into his wheelchair. "I know you do," he finally replied.

The mood at dinner was surprisingly light, at least for Harry and Cedric. They talked easily as if they were old friends and neither seemed to notice that Draco hardly said a word.

When they were finished, Draco cleared the table, leaving his boyfriend and his lover to continue their conversation. _I guess it wouldn't be such a bad thing if they were friends. _He washed the dishes and left the room, heading for his bedroom to get dressed for work. He and Blaise were getting together for drinks and possible negotiations with a couple of men who owned a fairly successful club on the other side of town. The men were looking to sell and Draco had jumped on the chance as soon as he had heard about it.

"Hey, gorgeous," Cedric said as he slid his arms around Draco's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. He watched in the mirror as Draco effortlessly tied his tie. "How's your headache?"

"Better. Guess I just needed to eat." He managed a weak smile at Cedric's reflection, then gently pulled away.

"Are you sure you're alright, love?" Cedric sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Draco continued to dress.

"Just a bit nervous, I suppose."

"Well, you'll be great, I'm sure of it. Everything will go just fine." Cedric stood and gave him a long, lingering kiss. "I love you."

Draco forced himself to hold eye contact, no matter how badly he wanted to look away. "Love you too." He kissed him quickly, then grabbed his jacket and left the room.

*.*.*.*

Draco was exhausted when he finally made it home. It was two thirty in the morning and Cedric was right, the meeting had gone perfectly. In just a matter of months, he and Blaise would be the proud owners of another highly successful club.

He tried to be quiet as he let himself into the dark and silent flat. It had started raining, so he hung his wet jacket on the coat rack and kicked off his shoes at the front door. He debated making a quick bite to eat, but in the end, he just headed for bed.

He stood shocked in the doorway of his and Cedric's bedroom.

Cedric was lying propped up against a stack of pillows. His laptop was sitting, still running on his lap desk, which had been pushed down to the foot of the bed. His head had rolled back and he was breathing softly through his mouth.

But what shocked Draco, was Harry curled into Cedric's side, an arm slung over his chest and his good leg tucked around Cedric's leg. Harry's glasses were sitting on the lap desk with the computer.

Jealously like nothing he had ever felt before flared up in him so quickly and intensely that he almost crumpled to the floor under the pressure of it. _Don't be absurd. They would never do that to you. You're being stupid, Malfoy. Not that that's a surprise. You've been nothing less than an idiot since the day you met that boy._

He eventually made his way to Cedric's side and sat down. "Hey." He shook him lightly.

Cedric snorted softly, then opened his eyes and looked up at Draco. "Hi." He smiled and lifted his head to kiss him. "How was the meeting?"

Draco looked down at Harry who had stirred slightly and whose head now rested on Cedric's stomach. "What's he doing in here?"

Cedric frowned at Draco in disapproval and softly stroked Harry's hair. "He had a pretty violent nightmare. He was screaming and sobbing and…" Cedric swallowed heavily. "It was really bad, Dray. I didn't know what else to do, so I just carried him in here and held him as he cried." He looked down at Harry with soft eyes.

Draco felt incredibly guilty as he finally noticed the dried tear tracks on Harry's cheeks and the still damp spots on Cedric's shirt. He noticed the almost desperate way that Harry had wound his body with Cedric's and his heart hurt for him. He glanced up Cedric. "Do you mind if we leave him here tonight? I'd hate to move him."

Cedric smiled. "Of course not. I was going to suggest the same thing."

Draco kissed Cedric lightly on the lips, then kissed Harry's head. He changed into his pajamas, then climbed into bed on the other side of Harry.

"Good night," Cedric said softly as he held out his hand to him.

Draco grabbed his hand and kissed it, then he moved himself closer to Harry, though not close enough to touch. He was still holding Cedric's hand as he finally got comfortable and settled in to sleep. As he started to drift off, he felt Cedric let go of his hand. He opened his eyes, just for a moment, and the last thing he saw before his eyes shut again was Cedric's hand rubbing soothing circles on Harry's back.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Please review! And thanks for reading!_


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: So, we've finally reached Draco's breaking point. It's going to get messy and this chapter is probably about as angst filled as they come. Hope you enjoy it! _

Chapter Eleven

- June 4th -

Draco sighed softly as he opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, trying desperately to forget the horrible images he had seen in his sleep. He had been plagued with dreams and worry all night and his eyes were now burning due to lack of rest. He glanced at the nightstand to see that it was only a few minutes after 7:00 am. He had slept for just over three hours. Deciding it was best to go back to sleep, he shifted to get more comfortable, then rolled towards Cedric.

His eyes grew wide at the sight before him. He sat up slowly, his heart clenching painfully in his chest as he stared down at his two lovers, sleeping together in a position that he didn't think could possibly be any more loving. This was the position that he usually woke up in every morning. That he and Cedric woke up in.

They were sharing a pillow, their foreheads pressed together and their lips only inches apart. Harry's left arm was still braced against his chest, but his right hand was being held tightly in Cedric's left, both hands held securely against the larger man's chest. Cedric's left hand was resting on Harry's hip, in what Draco saw as an almost possessive manner, and his left leg was tucked between Harry's knees.

Images from his dreams, or nightmares rather, flashed through Draco's head and he cringed and shut his eyes, unsuccessfully trying to block them out. He had dreamt of walking in on Cedric and Harry making love in his bed, both of them screaming in ecstasy. Even knowing now that it was only a dream, the memory of seeing them in each others arms, their bodies moving together in perfect rhythm, their voices calling out each others names, made his chest tighten and his stomach turn.

He didn't want to look at them again. He didn't want to see the trusting, worry free expression on Harry's face or the relaxed and peaceful look on Cedric's. But the sound of someone stirring caught his attention and he glanced over at them only to feel his stomach drop.

Cedric's hand was rubbing slow, gentle circles over Harry's hip. He sighed quietly and raised his head, his lips brushing over the brunet's forehead. He kissed him softly on his brow, his lips lingering for a few moments too many. Shifting closer to Harry, he nuzzled his cheek with his nose while his hand ran slowly up his side and back down, his fingertips tucking under the waistband of Harry's pajamas.

Harry moaned softly in his sleep.

Before he realized what he was doing, Draco sprang across the bed and grabbed Cedric's hand from Harry's hip, roughly throwing it away from the smaller man's body.

"What the -" Cedric opened his eyes and upon realizing that the person he was holding so close was Harry, he moved back slowly, careful not to wake him. He blinked in confusion, then his eyes finally raised to see a furious Draco kneeling on the bed on the other side of Harry. "Morning, love."

Draco glared daggers at him, then jumped out of bed, storming out of the room and slamming the door as hard as he could behind him.

He wanted to scream, he was so angry, but no sound would come out of his mouth. He wanted to storm out of the flat, leaving them to wonder what had happened to him, but he hadn't dressed, so that was not an option. So, left with few alternatives, he went to the kitchen to prepare some tea, not bothering to be quiet about it.

"What's going on?" Cedric asked from the doorway. He was tying his robe around his waist and frowning at Draco, watching as the blond slammed the teapot down onto the stove and turned on the burner.

"Nothing," Draco growled softly without turning to face him.

"Something is obviously bothering you. What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"If you're so fine, then why are you acting like this?"

"Leave me alone."

"No. Something happened and I want to know what could put you in such a foul mood so early in the morning. Did you not sleep well?" Cedric walked into the kitchen and leaned against the table, knowing better than to try to touch the angry blond while he was in the middle of a tantrum.

"Not as well as you, apparently." Draco grabbed a mug from the cupboard and set it down with such force he was surprised it didn't shatter.

Cedric sighed and scratched at his hair. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Why don't you just go back to bed? I'm fine."

"You're not _fine_. You're being a git and I want to know why."

Draco spun around to face him, his grey eyes shining with fury. "You kissed him."

Cedric's eyes narrowed in anger at the accusation. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you bloody well _did_! I just watched it happen, Cedric! You were touching him and cuddling him and you kissed him on the forehead like you normally kiss me and you didn't even fucking notice that it was someone else in your arms. You didn't notice that it wasn't my hand you were holding or that it wasn't my legs yours were tangled with." Draco looked away, tears of anger and hurt gathering in his eyes that he refused to let spill. "How could you not notice?"

Cedric was silent as he looked at him, unsure of what to say.

"You made him _moan_!" the blond suddenly yelled.

Cedric took a step back, his eyes wide in surprise, both at the accusations and Draco's reaction.

"Go away." Draco turned back to the stove and stared at the teapot.

"I was sleeping, Dray," Cedric said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I don't even remember it happening."

"Go…away."

Cedric watched him for a few moments, then turned and walked out of the room.

_I am not going to cry over this. They can have each other for all I fucking care. I will not cry._ With shaking hands, he grabbed the whistling kettle from the stove and slowly poured a cup of tea, being careful not to burn himself with the boiling water. Feeling exhausted and miserable, he sat down at the table and sipped it in silence.

He heard movement from the other room, so despite the fact that he wasn't even close to finished, he stood and washed out his cup, eager to be away from both of them. The door opened behind him and he heard the soft squeaking sound of Harry's wheelchair as he entered the room. "Good morning," he said cheerily.

_At least someone's happy._ Knowing that Harry was there for tea, but was unable to reach the mugs, Draco grabbed one and prepared a cup for him. He set it on the table before walking out without saying a word.

"Draco?" Harry called out.

There was a painful tightening in his chest as he silently kept walking.

"Don't be a prick to him because you're angry with me," Cedric said as Draco walked passed him.

Draco ignored him and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

He took an unusually long time to get ready that day. He showered for almost half an hour, took well over fifteen minutes to floss, brush and gargle, shaved, though he really didn't need to and spent almost forty five minutes washing his face and doing his hair. When he realized that there was no reasonable way that he could draw out his grooming any longer, he reluctantly left the bathroom and went to his closet to pick out some clothes.

Just as he sat down on the bed to put on his shoes, the bedroom door opened and Cedric walked in. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, blocking Draco's only escape. "Talk to me," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Draco just continued with his shoes.

"You're being irrational, you know that?"

"You're entitled to your opinion," he said quietly, no emotion showing in his voice. He stood and went back into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. As soon as it shut, it opened again and Cedric entered.

Fighting his irritation, Draco pretended to examine his hair and clothes in the mirror.

"How can you possibly be this angry over something I did while I was asleep? It's not like I was fucking him or sucking him off or any of the other things the two of you have probably -"

"Enough!" Draco yelled as he turned to face him. He tried to ignore the roiling guilt in his stomach and the voice in the back of his head that told him that he was a cheating, hypocritical prick and Cedric had a point. "Just…stop," he begged as he pushed past him and went back to the bedroom.

"What the hell is your problem, Draco? Do you think he's going to try something? Do you think I'll let him? I wouldn't let him steal me from you, you should know that."

Draco's face paled at the thought of losing Cedric to Harry. His stomach clenched as flashes of his dreams came back to him. The image of Cedric holding Harry close, his fingers wound in thick, dark hair as they kissed and thrust against each other hit Draco like a freight train. He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed against the nausea and panic that, lately, always seemed to be lurking right around the corner.

Cedric stilled. "Or do you think _I'm_ going to steal _him_ from you?"

His breath caught and his mouth went dry as he shook his head and pressed his palms to his still shut eyes.

Cedric was silent until finally, he let out a soft, bitter laugh. "I can't _fucking_ believe this."

A long silence passed before Draco finally opened his eyes to look at the other man.

Cedric was staring at him in shock. "You do. You think I'm going to seduce your poor, _innocent_ Harry and make him my lover." He cocked an eyebrow and plastered a mocking smile on his face. "But wouldn't that be ideal for you? I mean, if your boyfriend and your lover decide to fuck, then all your problems are solved. We can be one big, happy _fucking_ family!"

"Stop it," Draco said softly, his breath coming back to him in a rush that made his head spin. "Don't turn this around on me."

"Where else am I supposed to turn it? Haven't you ever heard that the people most likely to accuse their significant others of cheating are the ones who do the cheating themselves?"

_He has a point, you know. _"You cheated first."

Cedric stopped breathing and his mouth fell open. "You can't be serious. You're really bringing that up right now? Do you even remember what caused me to cheat?"

Draco's eyes narrowed. "I didn't cause you to cheat! You couldn't keep your dick in your pants, that's what caused you to cheat."

"I cheated because you loved someone else."

"I loved _you_, you stupid fuck!"

"But not only me. It's _never_ been only me." Cedric lowered his voice and stepped closer to him. "I admit, a small part of me suggested that he live here so I could see what would happen. I wanted to know what you would do…if you'd be able to keep your hands off of him. I wanted to prove to myself that I was enough for you."

"You were testing me," Draco stated in a cold voice.

"In a way, yes. But I also felt sorry for him. And as sad as it makes me, I'm not at all surprised that this is where we've ended up. I knew I wouldn't win, but I had to fucking _try_, Draco. I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't."

Draco rolled his eyes and snorted softly. "This is a fucking _game_ to you?"

"Of course it's not!" Cedric was visibly trying to keep his composure, but was failing. Draco watched as his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, again and again. He watched his nostrils flare and his cheeks flush. Part of him wanted to pull the man into his arms and kiss him until he stopped talking, until this stupid argument was forgotten and they were back to the way they were when Harry was in Germany.

But the other part of him accepted that there was no going back.

"I know that you love me," Cedric continued in a soft tone. "And I love you, too. But I can't compete with whatever it is that the two of you have together. You have a connection with him that you don't have with me and seeing it first hand is fucking killing me."

"You're the one who insisted he stay here."

Cedric took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "This argument is pointless. We're just going in circles."

"It's only pointless because you won't listen to me!" Draco shouted, pointing a shaking finger at his agitated boyfriend.

Cedric slapped his hand away and frowned at him. "Can you please just quit with the denial and accept it? 'Cause I'm tired of waiting for the day that you finally realize you love him and walk out on me."

Draco gave him a cold look and stepped back. "I wasn't planning on walking out on you, but if you really want me to that badly, I could probably arrange something."

Cedric clenched his fists in anger and frustration. "Why do you always have to be like this? First you're screaming and angry and hurt, now you're sarcastic and bitter and unfeeling. Why can't we have a serious conversation for once without you turning into a fucking Malfoy?"

Draco growled in anger. "I _am_ a fucking Malfoy! And if that really bothers you as much as it seems to, then I think we may have a slight problem here!"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. So why don't you try saying what you mean. Break it down for me…and use little words since you think I'm so bloody stupid."

Cedric clenched his jaw and rubbed at his weary eyes. "You are completely blowing everything out of proportion." He sighed softly and looked up into stormy grey eyes. "You're blaming me for something that I did while I was _unconscious_ for fucks sake_._ And while I may understand why your feelings are hurt, and for that I am truly sorry, what I _don't_ understand is why all of a sudden the loving, caring man that I fell in love with has vanished and you're now putting it all on my shoulders. You're destroying everything that we've worked so hard to build together over the last eight months and all over something stupid like a kiss on the forehead that meant nothing."

Draco's eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me it meant nothing. I saw it, Cedric."

Cedric took a step toward him, his face angrier than Draco had ever seen it. "If you want our relationship to end because you want to be with him instead, that's fine, but stop fucking blaming this morning for why everything is falling apart! It was falling apart before that and we both know it."

"If you were so fucking miserable with me, why didn't you just fucking leave then?" Draco hissed.

Cedric sighed and pressed his fists against his eyes. "I thought we were worth fighting for. And I thought you agreed."

"Well, maybe I don't agree. Maybe I don't love you. Maybe I never did."

Cedric's breath hitched as he backed away, his hazel eyes flashing with anger and sorrow. He stared hard at him for a moment, then turned and headed for the door. "I don't want to talk to you right now. Not while you're like this." He walked out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Draco couldn't move. _Oh God…I didn't mean to say that! Why the fuck did I say that? _Letting his heavy head fall, he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and tried to breathe through the constricting pain in his chest. He flinched when he heard the front door slam, signaling Cedric's departure. He took a few steps back until he felt the wall pressing into his back and he slowly slid himself to the floor. He hugged his legs to his chest and pressed his face into his knees, holding his breath as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. It was only a matter of minutes before he lost the battle.

He was sitting, slouched dejectedly against the wall, staring blankly at the carpet when a soft knock came at the door. He sniffled softly and wiped at his still tearing eyes.

"Draco? Are you alright?" Harry called softly.

Without a word, he glanced at the door next to him and slowly raised a trembling hand to lock it. He let his head fall back against the wall with a soft thud and took a deep, stuttering breath.

"Draco?" Harry knocked again, this time a little louder.

"Go away," he whispered so softly that he knew Harry couldn't hear him. His voice was raw, his throat burning from the heavy sobs that had wracked his body for nearly half an hour.

"Can I bring you anything?" Harry asked, his voice soft and full of concern.

Draco cleared his throat and winced at the stinging pain. He really wanted some water, but he knew that Harry couldn't help him with that, and would most likely still attempt it and end up hurting himself in the process, so he stayed silent.

"Well…I'll just…I'll be right here if you need me."

Silence fell on the room and somehow, knowing that Harry was waiting for him on the other side of the door eased the pain in his heart just a tiny bit.

"How long has he been in there?"

Draco rubbed his tired, itchy eyes and raised his head, slightly perking up at the sound of Cedric's voice. His neck was screaming in protest of the position it had been stuck in for who knew how many hours, but he didn't care. Cedric was home.

"Since you left. He hasn't said a word and he won't let me in."

"Have you been sitting here the whole time?"

"Yes," Harry admitted without hesitation.

Draco stretched his long legs out in front of him and rubbed his neck. His body was aching, his legs mostly numb from lack of movement.

"Do you have a key?" Harry asked.

"No. Never thought to ask for one. He's never locked himself in before."

"Maybe we should just let him be for now," Harry suggested.

"Maybe." Cedric didn't sound so sure.

"Why's he so upset anyway? I could hear you both shouting, but I couldn't make out much."

"It doesn't matter." The sad, tired sound of Cedric's voice made Draco's heart hurt.

"Are you alright?"

Cedric sighed softly. "No, but I'll get over it. I always do."

Having had enough of listening to them, Draco reached over and unlocked the door.

Immediately, the knob turned and the door slowly swung open, but not one of them moved.

"Draco?" Harry finally said when the silence became too overwhelming for them all.

Draco raised his chin and looked up into concerned green eyes. He felt a pang of regret that he had made Harry worry about him, but he was emotionally exhausted and couldn't hold onto the feeling for long. All of his remaining energy was being used up feeling sorry. He was so much sorrier than he could remember being in years, but he still couldn't make himself look at Cedric. He didn't want to see that pain again and he knew if he looked, it would still be there. He could hear it in his voice.

"Harry, why don't you go into the kitchen and eat your soup before it gets cold? I already set it out for you."

Harry held Draco's stare for a few seconds longer, then nodded and slowly headed towards the kitchen.

Cedric finally entered the room, closing the door softly behind him. He crouched in front of Draco and reached out to tuck his hair behind his ears.

"I didn't mean it," Draco whispered, his eyes tearing up again.

"I know. But you said it."

Draco nodded and looked down at his shaking hands. "I don't know why I say the things I say or do the things I do. The only excuse I have is that it's how I was raised, but I don't think it's really fair to blame my childhood."

Cedric sat down on the floor in front of him and listened.

"My father, he…he doesn't love me." He swiped his hand quickly at his eyes and took a deep, painful breath. "I worshiped the ground he walked on when I was a child. It took until I was twenty three for me to realize what kind of man he really is and that I don't want to end up like him. But maybe it's too late. Maybe I'm already too much like him and that's why I keep hurting you so badly." He covered his face with his hands and choked back his tears.

"No, I don't think that's true." Cedric softly stroked his hair. "You were never exposed to loving relationships. You were only exposed to your father's harsh words. So when you feel threatened, that's your safe place. That's where you're most comfortable."

"I don't want to be like that."

Cedric leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. "I know, love. You'll just have to work at it."

"Will you be here while I do?" He finally looked up and as expected, saw the raw pain that shone in Cedric's watery hazel eyes. He knew immediately what his answer would be.

"No," he said softly.

Draco's heart thundered in his chest. "But…but it's my birthday tomorrow. You can't leave me on my birthday. It was just a fight and you know I really didn't mean any of it and I'm so sorry, you have to believe that. You can't leave after just one fight." _It was more than that and you know it._

"Draco," Cedric said softly, his voice pleading and quiet. He opened his mouth to say something else, but shook his head and said nothing.

Draco could feel his sense of desperation growing, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. His father's voice was clear in his head, angrily reminding him that Malfoy's don't beg. He ignored it, cursing the man who had given him his name and he told himself that if begging was what he had to do, then that was what he would do. He took a deep breath and reached out to grip Cedric's shaking hand.

"I have to leave."

Draco went on as if Cedric had not spoken. "Give me one more chance. If you stay, I'll find new arrangements for Harry and then I'll never see him again. I'll call Ron and Hermione and have them come home or I'll talk to Pansy and Blaise…I'm sure they'll help us figure something out."

"This isn't just about Harry."

"But it's partially about him?"

Cedric said nothing, confirming Draco's suspicions.

"Just…please don't go, Cedric. Stay with me just a little longer. _Please_."

Cedric looked away as he started to cry. "I'm sorry, Draco."

Hearing the breaking sound in Cedric's voice, Draco finally began to accept that this time, he had gone too far and hurt him too deeply to be forgiven. He nodded in understanding and looked away. His shoulders shook as he bit down hard on his lip, trying to hold in the newest batch of tears that struggled to get out.

Cedric moved to his side and slid an arm around him, pulling him against him. "I love you so much," he whispered into his hair. "And maybe this won't be forever. Maybe I can come back after we've spent some time apart." He kissed his temple and held tighter. "I just can't do this _now_."

Draco nodded as he clung to him, his fingers bunched in his shirt and his face pressed tightly into his neck. He tried to breathe him in, to move closer, to hold tighter, but he was so weak. "I love you," he mumbled softly against his skin. "I'm so sorry, Cedric. I love you…I really do. So much."

"I believe you," Cedric whispered, then he pressed a soft kiss to the blond's temple.

Draco let out a sob and burrowed tighter into his neck.

The strength of Cedric's hold on him increased as he rocked him gently and made soft shushing noises, trying to calm him.

_It's over…it's finally over and it's all my fault. I knew it would be my fault in the end, I think we both did. I will never forgive myself._

_I will never forgive Harry._

When he awoke, he was lying in bed alone. It was dark outside and he could hear the rain tapping gently against the windowpane. _He left. You're all alone now because Cedric finally left you like he should have done long ago. _He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, wishing he could turn back time and kick himself in the teeth to stop from saying something so utterly stupid and hurtful.

"Draco?"

_I don't want to see you. _ He rolled onto his side, away from Harry's voice.

"You need to eat something. Cedric made dinner before he…left. He told me to make sure you ate." Harry rolled his chair closer to the bed.

_More reason not to eat anything._

"Will you please talk to me?"

_No._

Harry looked down at his hands and sighed softly. "I'm sorry if I had anything to do with this. I didn't want to mess up your relationship. I admit I was jealous and there were times that I wished he wasn't around, but Cedric was really nice to me and he made you happy."

"Get out." Draco was surprised to hear himself speak, he certainly hadn't been planning to say anything.

"No. You shouldn't be alone right now."

_With you…I shouldn't be alone with you._

"I'll just sit here quietly then, if you don't want to talk."

"Of course I don't want to talk and especially not to _you_!" Draco sat up and glared down at him. "The love of my life just walked out the fucking door because you couldn't sleep in your own bloody bed for one night."

Harry's face paled and he pushed himself back, away from Draco's angry stare. "I…I didn't…I had a nightmare. I wasn't trying anything with Cedric, I just…"

"What? Couldn't stand going more than a few hours without someone touching you? That starved for attention are you?"

Harry recoiled as if he had been slapped. "This isn't my fault."

Draco glared down at him. "Just leave me alone."

Harry's face darkened and he frowned. "Fine." He turned around, pulling his casted arm from his sling so he could use both hands to quickly roll himself to his room.

The urge to argue was still there, so Draco got out of bed and stormed down the hall. He threw open the door to the brunet's room. "And why the hell did you have to make friends with him anyway? Things were fine before, just the way they were."

Harry snorted softly. "Things were not fine, Draco. They were _never_ fine. You used him to get over me and he fell in love with you despite the fact that you're a manipulative, egotistical prick! And that wasn't fair. Not to him."

"And what about me?"

"You did this to yourself."

Draco stomped over to Harry's chair and leaned over so they were face to face, resting his hands on the arms of the wheelchair. "I would have thought you would be thrilled when he walked out the door. Now you can have me all to yourself."

Harry's glare faltered, but he pressed his lips together and raised his chin. "Who says that I even want you anymore?"

Draco flinched.

Harry stared at him, then looked down at his hands. He fiddled with the loose sling and slowly slid it over his head and threw it on the bed.

Draco stepped back and folded his arms over his chest. "Do you?"

Curious green eyes came up to look at him.

"Still want me," Draco clarified.

Harry just looked at him for a moment then took a deep breath. "Always."

Draco watched the many emotions that read in Harry's eyes and felt his anger receding. After a long bout of silence, he realized that he was holding his breath and he slowly let it out. "Alright then."

Harry gave him a small, confused smile and sat up straighter.

"I…" Draco blushed and looked away from him. "I should probably eat something." He turned and headed for the kitchen. "Coming?"

Harry's small smile grew as he followed.

*.*.*.*

- June 5th -

"Happy birthday!"

Draco blinked against the harsh sunlight that suddenly flooded his room. "What the fuck?" He covered his face with his arm and groaned.

"Wake up, darling!" Pansy jumped onto the bed and crawled over to him. She pulled the pillow from over his head and tossed it on the floor.

Draco growled softly and squinted up at her. "I am so not in the mood, Pans."

"Bah," she said, waving a hand at him. "Blaise is helping Harry get dressed and we're all going out."

"What part of 'not in the mood' are you having trouble understanding?"

Pansy laughed and grabbed his arm, forcing him into a sitting position. "You're such a downer, Draco. Get up, get up, get up!"

"I hate you." He pulled his arm free and climbed out of bed. "What the hell are you doing here so early?"

"Early? It's almost one o'clock."

Draco raised an eyebrow in surprise and turned around to glance at the clock.

"What did you get up to last night that has you sleeping so late?"

"Harry and I just watched a bunch of old movies and…" His voice trailed off as his eyes fell on Cedric's red sweater which was lying on the dresser. He swallowed hard and reached out a hand, running his fingers lightly over the soft material.

Pansy stood from the bed and walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back. "I am so sorry, Dray."

He cleared his throat and nodded. "Harry told you?"

She nodded against him. "Don't be angry with him. We drilled him a bit when we saw the state of the kitchen and living room. I knew there would be no way you would live in such filth unless something devastating had happened."

_Devastating…that's the perfect word for it._

"So…where are we going?" He gently pulled away from her and began to dress, eager to change the subject.

"I thought we'd go to lunch and maybe take in a ballet."

He rolled his eyes. "I may be gay, but I'm not that gay. Besides…I don't think that's really Harry's thing."

She laughed. "I was only kidding anyway. I would never subject either of you to that. Or myself for that matter. It's bad enough when Blaise drags me to see that nonsense."

"You married a snob," Draco laughed.

She shrugged and smiled. "But he's my snob."

Draco dressed quickly, for once not too concerned with his appearance, then he followed her out to the living room where they found Blaise and Harry chatting comfortably together.

"So what's the plan?" Draco asked Blaise.

"Right now, lunch," Blaise said as he stood. "I'm starving."

"Just make sure it's someplace that has a large soup selection," Draco said as he gathered his wallet and keys from the coffee table.

Harry smiled softly at his back, a slight blush on his cheeks.

Pansy shook her head and sighed as she observed the exchange.

"Are we ready?" Draco took hold of the handles on Harry's chair and started pushing him towards the door. "I'm thinking Italian."

"You read my mind," Harry agreed.

Pansy, Blaise and Harry did their best to keep Draco's spirits up throughout the day. He only faltered a few times during their afternoon together, but he was always quick to snap out of it.

They ate a quiet lunch at Draco's father's restaurant then spent a few hours shopping. No matter how many times they asked him, Draco insisted that he didn't want to do anything special for his birthday and that he was quite content to just hang out with them and spend some money. A lot of money.

Sometime around four, Harry dozed off in his chair, so Draco said his goodbyes to his friends and started the short walk home.

As he was tucking the brunet into bed, there was a soft knock on the front door. He finished adjusting the blankets and pillows around Harry's broken limbs, then hurried to open the door, staring in shock when he found Cedric waiting on the other side.

"You don't have to knock," Draco said as he stood back, holding the door open for him. He was surprised he could speak through the knot that had formed in his throat at the sight of him.

Cedric gave him a nervous smile. "I didn't want to assume anything." He walked in, hesitating briefly before leaning over to place a soft kiss at the corner of the blond's mouth.

Draco sighed at the contact and let his eyes flutter shut. _I miss you already._

"I wanted to bring you this." He held out a gift wrapped in red paper with a silver bow. "It's not much, but I thought of you when I saw it."

Draco went into the living room and sat down, holding the gift in his lap and staring down at it in silence. He didn't want to unwrap it yet. He wanted to draw out this visit as long as possible.

"What happened in here?" Cedric asked as he looked around the living room, taking note of empty beer bottles, ashtrays full of cigarette butts, candy wrappers and empty cereal bowls.

Draco smiled fondly at the memory of the night before. "Harry was trying to cheer me up. Apparently, cereal, tobacco and Jimmy Stewart movies do the trick for him, so he thought I should give it a try. So I did."

Cedric looked at him with nervous eyes. "How'd that work out for you?"

Draco shrugged. "I made it through the night in one piece, though it doesn't really feel like it." He rubbed gently at his still aching chest.

Cedric cleared his throat and sat down next to him. "Did you have a good day today?"

"It would be a better day if you'd come home."

"I can't do that. Not right now."

"Right." Draco looked back down at the gift. He ran his fingers over the shiny bow and found himself wondering if this would be the last gift he ever received from Cedric. The sudden thought made him unbearably sad, so he set the gift on the table. "Do you mind if I open it later? I'd like to save it."

"Sure."

An awkward silence filled the room.

"Do you hate me?" Cedric asked.

"What? No! How could you even ask that?"

Cedric shrugged and leaned back into the couch. "I don't know. I just woke up this morning with a fear that you did. It scared me. I thought about you all day today."

Draco smiled and leaned back next to him, pressing their shoulders together. "Me too. I missed you last night."

Cedric was silent for a long time before he finally spoke. "Did you…sleep alone?"

Draco fought the urge to get angry and nodded. "Yes."

Cedric nodded, but said nothing.

They fell back into silence. Draco shifted closer and carefully rested his head on Cedric's shoulder, fully prepared to be pushed away. He held his breath for a moment, then slowly moved his hand to touch Cedric's.

With a soft sigh, Cedric took Draco's hand in his, lacing their fingers together and holding tightly.

Draco almost cried at the feel of it. But he had had enough of crying to last him a lifetime, so he just closed his eyes, basking in the contact.

"How's Harry doing?" Cedric suddenly asked.

Draco raised his head and looked over at him. "He's alright. He took off the sling and refuses to put it back on even though it makes his shoulder hurt. He gets around easier without it."

Cedric nodded.

"We had a long talk about Oliver last night. Apparently, he had decided to not press charges."

"_What?_"

Draco nodded. "I think I convinced him to change his mind. If not, I'll have Ron and Hermione talk to him when they get home."

"I'll talk to him, too if you need me to."

Draco frowned as he looked at his ex. "Why do you try so hard with him? Why did you take such good care of him if he was such a threat to you?"

"Because he matters to you."

Draco swallowed through the lump in his throat. He wanted to kiss him, but he knew his advances would not be welcome, so he bit his lip and sat back enough to ease his craving. "You always were too good for me."

Cedric smiled sadly. "Maybe."

Draco laughed and squeezed his hand.

"Did you know his parents died?"

Draco's smile faded fast and he stared at Cedric in shock. "What? No, I didn't know that."

"They died when he was only a baby. He was raised by his aunt and uncle. They were pretty horrible to him."

_Why didn't he tell me that?_

"They had a boy his age. Tormented him on a daily basis and they never did anything to stop it."

"What…when did he tell you this?"

"That night…before you got home. He just started rambling and it all came out. He lived with them for fourteen years until he found his godfather and went to live with him. Sirius Black. He was his father's best friend and he went into a deep depression when James and Lily died so he was in no condition to take care of a baby."

_James and Lily…I didn't even know their names. But he told Cedric. Why would he tell him and not me?_

"He thinks you pity him."

Draco looked at him in confusion. "I don't pity him."

"I told him that. But he just doesn't think it's possible that you might love him."

"I _don't_ love him." _Are you sure about that?_ He swallowed hard at the thought. "I love _you_."

Cedric gave him a disbelieving look. "Draco…it is possible to love two people at the same time."

He shook his head as his eyes began to well up. "Can we not talk about this right now?" He moved closer to the sandy haired man and wrapped his arms around him. He pressed his face into his neck and breathed in his scent. "I just want to be close to you for a few minutes. Please just let me be close to you."

Cedric breathed deeply and brought his arms up to hold him. "I have to go soon."

"Just a few minutes," Draco mumbled. He burrowed closer to him, shutting his eyes tight and trying to memorize the feel of Cedric's fingers stroking softly against his back and his soft hair pressing against his face.

They sat in silence, holding each other close as four o'clock turned to five o'clock and five faded into six.

"I really have to go." Cedric kissed him softly on the head and gently untangled himself.

Draco's heart stopped and he inhaled sharply. He managed a small nod.

"I'll call you in a few days. Maybe we can have dinner or something."

He forced a smile and nodded. "I'd like that."

"Happy birthday, Dray." Cedric leaned over and kissed his forehead, then turned and hurried out of the flat, closing the door behind him without looking back once.

Draco had never felt so alone in his entire life. He stared at the closed door for a long time before getting up and moving towards Harry's room, looking for a distraction from the pain.

_What else don't I know about him? _He went inside and stood next to the bed, staring down at the brunet as he slept peacefully. _Is it pity that I feel? Do I love him? _ He shook off that last thought, not ready to think about it yet, though the sudden painful throbbing in his chest told him that the answer might not be what he wanted it to be.

With slow, careful movements, he climbed onto the bed and crawled over to Harry's side. He stretched out beside him, lying down and resting his head on the sleeping man's chest. He closed his eyes and listened to the quiet sound of Harry's steady heartbeat, letting it lull him into a relaxed state.

"Draco?"

He didn't move, but he exhaled softly, feeling tears again pricking at his eyes.

Harry's hand came up to gently rest on the back of his neck. He stroked his hair and skin and pressed a kiss to his hair. "What's wrong?"

Draco just shook his head. "I feel so empty."

Harry's hold on him tightened.

Draco shivered at the feel of Harry's hand running slowly over his neck and through his hair. He sighed softly, then turned his head up and stared into worried green eyes. "I want you too," he finally said.

Harry smiled at him.

Draco turned, raising himself up onto his elbows and leaned over to kiss him. It started slow and gentle, little pecks on the lips and cheeks, soft touches and whispered sighs. He ran his lips over Harry's face and to his ear, loving the feel of his soft skin and the smell of his soap. He lightly ran his tongue over the shell of his ear, tracing it slowly as his fingers drew lazy lines over the smaller man's chest and stomach.

Harry tilted his head to the side, giving Draco access to his neck and moaned softly when lips and tongue caressed him.

As Draco sucked and licked at the throat that was so trustingly presented to him, he felt the pain in his heart slowly melt away to be replaced by desire. He knew what he wanted, even if only at that moment and he was going to take it. He sat up and smiled down at Harry. "I'll be right back." He jumped off the bed and hurried from the room, returning just seconds later. Quickly pulling his shirt off, he climbed back onto the bed and straddled Harry's hips. He leaned in to kiss him, rocking his hips slowly and moaning at the feel of Harry's cock hardening beneath him.

Harry ran his fingers down Draco's arm, then back up again, over his shoulder and up into his hair. He gripped a handful and gently pulled, forcing his head back.

Draco sighed and closed his eyes when Harry placed a gentle kiss on his throat, his shoulder, his neck, his ear. Unable to stand it any longer, he turned his face and pressed their mouths together, silently cursing the wire that kept their kisses from becoming all that they should be. "Harry," he said softly against his lips while blindly reaching down and pressing something into the brunet's hand.

Harry pulled back and looked down at the bottle of lube that now rested in his hand. Brow furrowed in confusion, he looked back up at the blond.

Draco blushed and leaned in to kiss him again. "I want you to make love to me," he whispered, his voice shaking with nervous excitement.

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "Are you sure?"

Draco nodded and slowly licked Harry's chapped lips. "Yes." He ran his tongue lightly down Harry's throat and to his bare chest. Grazing his teeth gently over a nipple, he reached down between them, sliding his hand into the other man's boxers and finding him harder than he had ever felt him before. He moaned at the feel of it and shivered at the idea of having it inside of him.

Harry squirmed under his touch, breathing deeply and groaning at every stroke. His hand shook as he ran his fingers through Draco's silky hair. "Alright," he finally agreed, then he hissed and arched his back as he was engulfed by the blond's warm, wet mouth.

Draco sucked him hard, but only for a moment, he didn't want him to come too quickly after all. He ran his tongue up the sides and circled the head, looking up to watch Harry watching him. He pulled back and smiled at the look of pure desire that flashed back at him.

"Come here," Harry said, his voice low and husky with want. He pursed his lips as he watched Draco slowly crawl back up the bed towards him.

Draco sat back on his knees and helped Harry remove his boxers before laying down beside him and pulling his own clothes off. He turned into the brunet's waiting arms and kissed him as he rolled, pulling Harry onto him and settling him between his legs. Their erections pressed tightly together and he let out a low moan as Harry began to move on top of him.

"You are beautiful," Harry whispered.

Draco's hands moved down Harry's back to his arse. He dug his fingers into the firm muscles and pulled him tighter against him, increasing the speed and pressure of their movements.

"Wait," Harry said softly as he sat back on his knees.

The blond groaned at the loss of contact and shifted restlessly.

Harry repositioned himself, sitting down between Draco's legs and stretching out his casted leg. Once comfortable, his eyes moved over Draco's pale, flawless skin. His hand reached out and lightly caressed his thighs, pushing them further apart.

Draco was trembling. He was anxious and excited and scared and more aroused than he had ever been. He picked up the lube from where Harry had dropped it next to him and pushed it at the smaller man.

With a soft laugh, Harry took the bottle and poured some onto his fingers. He rubbed his fingers together, warming it, then he brought his green eyes up to meet grey. His breath came faster when he saw the longing look on Draco's face. "I never dared imagine it would actually happen," he admitted with a small smile. "But I've always wanted this." His hand moved up between the blond's parted legs and he gently stroked a finger over his opening. His breath caught when he looked back up into passion filled eyes.

Draco's eyes were wide and a low moan escaped his lips as he watched Harry touch him. Seeing the look of amazement on the brunet's face was more than he had expected and it caused a deep burn to start in the pit of his stomach. "Harry," he whimpered softly. God, how he wanted him. How he wanted _this_.

Harry pushed the tip of his finger inside, watching Draco's face for any signs of discomfort or pain. When he saw none, he was encouraged to go further and pushed slowly inside, all the way. He bent over and ran his lips over the head of Draco's cock.

Draco's breath caught in his throat and he wanted to scream at the sensation of finally having Harry touch him like he was. The feel of his finger moving inside him wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been when he was with Blaise, but he chalked that up to their inexperience. This…this was heaven.

Harry groaned softly when Draco experimentally clenched his muscles down around his finger, letting out an involuntary gasp as he did so. He chuckled quietly at the blond's reaction and looked up at him. "Feel good?"

Draco couldn't speak, so he nodded his head once and exhaled hard through his nose.

"Tell me when you're ready for more," Harry said, then leaned over and continued lavishing attention on the blond's perfect cock.

Draco gasped and arched his back when Harry's lips pressed against the underside of his erection, tracing slowly over the ridge between head and shaft. "More," he breathed softly.

Harry pushed in a second finger and stilled at the sound of Draco's soft cry. He looked up at him with fearful eyes. "Did I hurt you?"

Draco closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "No." He hadn't been expecting the stinging burn that had come with the second finger, but it didn't really hurt. It was mostly just uncomfortable. He wiggled his hips to test himself and found that the discomfort was already gone. He opened his eyes and smiled at Harry. "Keep going."

"Are you sure?"

Draco clenched his muscles down tight and groaned. "Yes. Keep going."

Harry moved his fingers faster and soon, added a third finger.

"_Fuck_." Draco threw his head back on the pillow and sucked in a lung full of air.

"I can stop."

"Don't you fucking dare."

Harry buried his face in Draco's thigh to hide his smirk at the blond's look of death, then continued preparing him.

Draco groaned and moaned and writhed on the bed, gasping and grunting and crying out Harry's name. He was ready. He was so far passed ready that he thought he might actually combust if Harry didn't get on with it soon. His orgasm was already sneaking up on him and he panted heavily as he tried to contain it, but it was a fruitless struggle. "Harry…stop or I'll…_fuck_…Harry…"

"If you come first, you won't be as tight and it won't hurt as badly."

"I don't want…" He arched his back and let out a sharp cry when Harry's fingers brushed against his prostate. "Holy hell. Do that again."

Harry stilled his hand and gave him an evil smile. "Make up your mind, Draco. Do you want my fingers or my cock?"

Draco breathed deeply, trying to force his brain to work. "Your cock," he finally said. "Please. Now. I can't wait any longer."

Harry slowly removed his fingers and sat back up on his knees. "Give me that pillow." He motioned to the unused pillow on the other side of the bed.

Draco grabbed it and tossed it at him, then raised his hips, knowing Harry's intentions.

Harry slid the pillow under him to elevate his hips. "Are you sure you want this?" he asked as he positioned himself.

Draco nodded frantically. "God, yes."

Harry leaned forward, holding himself up on his good hand, and kissed him lightly. He reached down with his casted hand and guided himself in, pushing slowly.

Draco's eyes grew wide and he let out a long, hissing sound as Harry sank deep into him. _Jesus Christ. This is it. This is what I've been waiting for._ He couldn't help the small whimper that escaped as he pressed his lips to Harry's and kissed him.

"Draco," Harry whispered as he continued to push forward. His arm shook with the strain of holding himself up.

Draco wrapped his arms around the trembling brunet and pulled him down on top of him so they rested chest to chest. He gasped for air as they both lay there, completely still.

Harry breathed heavily in his ear, then slowly raised his head to look down at him with eyes wide with amazement. "You feel so good," he whispered.

Draco's hands were shaking as he brought them up to cup Harry's flushed face. He ran his thumbs lightly over the healing bruises then followed the same path with his lips. He sighed softly as his mouth finally met Harry's and they kissed.

Harry started with small, shallow thrusts, pausing in between to give Draco time to adjust to the feel of him. His eyes were glued to the blond as he watched every expression that fluttered across his face.

Once the initial burning passed, Draco tentatively began to push back against him, reminding himself to breathe through the pleasure.

Harry's breath was blowing in quick puffs against his cheek. "Are you alright?"

Draco nodded against him and swallowed the lump that suddenly developed in his throat. _When did I become so bloody emotional?_

"Is it all that you remembered?" Harry whispered against his ear.

_It's better. It's so much fucking better._ Draco shook his head. "This is…" He shook his head again and raised his face to kiss him. "I've never felt…_this_."

Harry kissed his blushing cheeks and began thrusting faster. "Me neither."

Draco ran his hands over Harry's hard body, feeling every muscle and every inch of skin that he could reach, but it wasn't enough. He pushed his hips up, wanting him deeper and harder and faster, but his voice failed him again and again and he was unable to ask. Never had he felt so out of control. And he knew that he would never again be like this with anyone else.

Harry raised himself up onto his knees and moved faster. His eyes traveled over the writhing body beneath him and his hips pushed harder, deeper, as if they knew instinctively what the other wanted.

"Yes," Draco whispered as his eyes fell shut so he could better concentrate on the feel of Harry's cock sliding in and out of him. It was different than any feeling he had ever felt. He felt whole. He felt full.

"I dreamed of this," Harry said softly as he gripped his thighs. "I dreamed of being in you…seeing you…just like this. My dreams were nothing compared to reality."

Draco opened his eyes to look up into shining emerald. There was a tightening in his groin and he gasped when Harry changed up his angle and hit the mark. "There," he whispered, bucking his hips hard against him. He hadn't thought the pleasure could become any more intense, but oh, how wrong he was. "Right… there." He bit down on his lip and his hand slid down to stroke at his aching cock.

Harry held tightly to him as he pushed again and again, keeping his rhythm steady and his aim accurate. "I want to feel you come around me," Harry told him as he pumped faster and harder.

Draco couldn't breathe. He wrapped his legs tighter around Harry's thighs, trying to pull him closer as a strange feeling of drowning began to overwhelm him. _I'm going to die…holy shit…I can't fucking breathe… I'm going…to…_ He threw his head back and let out a choked, breathless cry, his hips bucking erratically, his entire body completely out of his control as he came violently, explosively, all over his chest and stomach. White light flooded his vision and he opened his mouth to scream or to breathe or to say Harry's name…he wasn't really sure which. He just knew that this was what he wanted to feel for the rest of his life. This was perfection.

He was brought back to himself when he felt Harry's fingers digging sharply into his legs, his hips pounding into him, almost brutally. He opened his eyes and smiled tiredly up at the flushing, panting man who was staring back at him, his face tense with his oncoming orgasm. Draco clenched his muscles again and again and moaned softly at the slight aftershocks that rippled through him. "Harry," he whispered and he reached out a hand to touch his face.

Harry's mouth fell open and he pressed his cheek into Draco's hand as he shuddered, coming hard inside of him with a long, deep moan. His hips rocked slowly and he turned his face to press a kiss to the pale, shaking hand that stroked his cheek. When he was finally spent, he turned back to Draco and lowered himself onto him. A tired smile spread over his face as he pressed their foreheads together.

Draco breathed deeply as he ran his hands slowly up and down Harry's sweat covered back. He sighed in contentment. "I didn't want it to end," he whispered.

"Me neither," Harry whispered back to him. He kissed Draco's forehead, his closed eyelids, his nose and each cheek, before brushing his lips softly against the blond's. "Draco…I have to tell you something. It's something that I've been meaning to say for a really long time and…"

"What is it?"

Harry sucked in a nervous breath and pressed his face into Draco's neck. "Draco, I…I -"

Draco gasped as he glanced at the open bedroom door. "Cedric."

Harry raised his head and looked over to see Cedric backing slowly away from the door. "Cedric," he said softly, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Draco pushed Harry off of him and grabbed his pants, almost tripping as he pulled them on. He ran from the room, catching up with his ex-boyfriend just as he was reaching for the front door.

"You said I didn't have to knock," Cedric said softly.

Draco grabbed his arm and turned him around. "Cedric," he said quietly when he saw the tears that were streaming down his face. "It's not…it's just…"

Cedric snorted softly and wiped at his face with his sleeve. "I should have known really. I all but pushed you at him by leaving, didn't I?"

"No, you…" Draco didn't know what to say. "I was sad and lonely. I just…" His shoulders slumped and he sighed heavily, annoyed at his inability to say anything meaningful.

"I don't know why I'm so upset." Cedric frowned as he wiped at the tears that just wouldn't stop. "I mean, you haven't touched me since you found out what happened to him and…I know you were with him that first day, so this shouldn't surprise me." He finally looked up at him. "But it does. I just…I know this is going to sound selfish and petty, but…I can't believe you let him…do that. Why him and not me? Didn't you trust me enough or…" His head fell and he started to cry harder. "Never mind…it doesn't matter."

Draco stepped forward and tried to pull him into his arms. 

Cedric put a hand on his chest and weakly pushed at him. "Don't!"

Shocked at his outburst, Draco stepped back.

Cedric wiped at his face and straightened his clothes. He smoothed down his hair and breathed deeply, trying to regain control of his emotions. Finally, when he was calmer, he looked at Draco. "I had meant to pick up a few things while I was here earlier, but being with you had gotten me all…flustered and I forgot. So…"

"You can get them now," Draco said softly. He had given up completely on fixing this. He knew there wasn't a chance in hell that Cedric was ever going to come back to him now. Not after witnessing what he had just witnessed.

"No, I…I'll come back when you're not here." He turned and walked out of the flat, shutting the door quietly behind him, which Draco couldn't help but think was actually worse than slamming it.

"I'm sorry," Harry said softly from behind him.

Draco just stood motionless, staring at the door.

Harry moved closer. "This is my fault."

"Yes. It is." Draco was surprised by the lack of emotion in his voice.

A long, drawn out silence stretched over them, until Harry finally turned his chair and headed back towards his room. "I'm going to bed," he said softly, then he left the room without another word.

Draco couldn't bring himself to go back to his bedroom. He didn't want to spend another night alone in there. So he slowly made his way over to the couch and collapsed onto it, burying his face in his hands.

He didn't sleep. He lay awake all night listening to the faint sound of Harry sobbing, then talking to someone, then sobbing some more. There were bouts of silence, but they never lasted long, usually ending with a scream followed by more crying. Every terror filled scream caused Draco to flinch. Every sob made his chest ache and the need to comfort him almost overwhelm him. But he didn't comfort him. He just let him cry.

He rubbed his tired eyes and turned to face the back of the couch, hoping that a change of position would allow him to sleep. It didn't.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Sorry to all of you who were hoping this story was going to go in the direction of a threesome. I admit, the idea was tempting! Thanks for reading!_


	12. Chapter 12

**_So, I just uploaded the wrong chapter. Sorry about that! Here's the correct one._**

_AN: Hello, everyone! Hope you're all still hanging in there and enjoying the ride. There won't the 20-25 chapters I originally thought there would be. I've been editing and smushing them together to make longer chapters, so it looks more like 16-18. Depends on how long I make the chapters. Regardless, it won't be too much longer (sadly) before the end._

_In the meantime, please enjoy!_

Chapter Twelve

- June 6th -

Early morning found Draco sitting in silence at the kitchen table drinking a mug of tea. His silver grey eyes were burning with lack of sleep as he stared down at the tabletop, tracing his fingertips over the imperfections in the wood. He wondered if Harry would join him or not. _Can't say that I blame him if he doesn't. Not after the horrible things I said to him last night. _He sighed softly as he glanced at the cup he had set out for the brunet. It was swiftly getting cold and he wondered if he should just dump it out and try to get some sleep.

"Morning."

His head jerked up fast enough to cause a painful twinge in his neck, but he refused to acknowledge it. He looked into bloodshot green eyes and tried to smile, which was a difficult feat. He was fairly certain that he failed in his weak attempt, not that it would matter seeing as Harry had looked away almost immediately.

"Morning," Draco said softly. He stood and picked up Harry's cold tea and put it in the microwave to heat it up. He returned it to the quiet boy who was now sitting at the table, staring down at nothing, and then took the seat across from him.

"Thanks," Harry said softly, though he didn't even reach for the cup.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Draco asked.

Harry shook his head. "Not hungry."

Draco understood entirely that this rift in their relationship was solely his fault. He had been angry last night and as he usually did when angry, whether it was fair or not, he took it out on the smaller man. He gazed at Harry's weary, miserable face and wondered how in the world he would manage to fix it._ And I must fix this. He's all I have left now._

"I have good news," Harry suddenly said, though his face said that the news was anything but.

"What's that?" Draco tried to hold in the relief he felt that Harry was speaking to him.

"I finally called Sirius last night."

"Oh?" Draco didn't quite see why that was such good news, but he smiled and leaned closer. "How did that go?"

Harry shrugged and continued to stare down at the tabletop. "He and I haven't been on speaking terms for awhile now. Ever since I went back to Oliver that last time."

"How did it go?" Draco hated the tension between them. He could feel Harry's anxiety radiating from him and it was making his own heart begin to race.

Harry chewed on a ragged fingernail before abruptly stopping and clenching his hands together in front of him. "He's in Ireland at the moment. He's consulting on a project and he should be home in a few days. When he comes home, I'll be going to stay with him, so…I'll finally be out of your hair."

Draco's breath hitched and he felt the blood drain from his already pale face. _No! I don't want you out of my hair. Tell him you don't want him out of your hair!_ "What…why? Why are you leaving?"

Harry wrapped his hand around his mug and shrugged, though he still wouldn't look at him. "Thought you might like to have the place to yourself."

The blond licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed hard. "But…you live here."

"It was never supposed to be a permanent thing. And I think I've caused more than enough damage."

Draco forced a laugh and stood to wash out his cup. "Don't be absurd. You're not going anywhere."

Harry frowned. "But…but I -"

Draco waved him off, refusing to hear anymore. _I can fix this. I have a few days still. I will fix this._

"You said last night -"

"Don't remind me of last night," Draco said a bit harshly.

Harry inhaled sharply, but didn't say anything. He turned and quickly made his way back to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Draco stared after him in confusion, until he realized what he had said and how it sounded. He cursed softly and headed for Harry's room.

But before he even reached the hallway, he was interrupted by a soft, yet persistent knocking on the front door. Draco paused and glanced at his watch in surprise. It was only eight thirty am so he couldn't imagine who would be visiting at such an early hour. He pulled open the door and glared at the unfamiliar middle aged man who stood in front of him. "I think you have the wrong place," he said as he started to close the door.

A strong hand shot out to hold the door open. "I've come for my Godson."

Draco's heart jumped into his throat. "Harry?" he said softly.

"Yes." The man extended his hand. "Sirius Black."

Draco stared at his hand for a moment. _You're not supposed to be here yet! I'm supposed to have a few days left to fix this._

When Draco didn't shake his hand, Sirius let it drop to his side and frowned at him in disapproval. "Now, I know for a fact that my cousin would never raise her son to treat a guest this way, so I'm going to push the blame onto that father of yours. He always was rather…rude."

Draco looked up at him in confusion. "Cousin?"

"Your mother?" Sirius gave him a small smile. "Not a morning person?"

"I…I haven't slept." _Don't tell him your business! What's wrong with you?_

"Ah…then Harry is not alone in his misery."

Draco just stared at him.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "May I come in please?"

"Oh, yes, of course." Draco stepped back and held the door open for him. "Harry is in his room."

Sirius stood there for a moment, before clearing his throat. "Do you think you might show me the way?"

"What?" Draco blushed heavily when he saw the expectant look on the older man's face. "Oh, yes. Please follow me."

Sirius nodded and followed Draco to Harry's bedroom.

Draco knocked softly. "Harry?"

As expected, there was no answer.

He tried the knob and found it was locked. "Harry. Please open the door."

Still, nothing.

"Let me try," Sirius said softly. He motioned for Draco to step out of the way, then knocked lightly on the door. "Harry, open the door love."

"Sirius?" There was a rustling sound and the door flew open. Harry launched himself out of his chair and threw his arms around his Godfather, tears suddenly flowing down his cheeks.

Draco took an involuntary step back at the sight of him. _Did I do that to him? Did I do the same thing to him that I did to Cedric?_ He felt nauseous as he watched the brunet sob in the arms of his father figure, knowing he was the cause of such intense pain. "I'll just…" He turned and quickly headed for the kitchen. "I'll make some tea."

He slipped into the kitchen and pressed his back to the door, breathing heavily and trying to collect himself. _Harry can't leave me now. Not after last night. Not after we made…_

In a sudden flash of realization, his eyes grew wide and his breath caught in his throat. _Oh my God, he was going to tell me he loves me._ "Fuck."

As quickly as possible, he prepared two cups of tea, though it seemed the kettle had something against him and the water took twice as long as usual to boil. He was desperate to be in Harry's room, to reassure him that last night was perfect in every way and that it really _wasn't_ his fault, what happened with Cedric.

He carried the mugs to Harry's room and knocked softly. "I brought you some tea," he said, his heart pounding in his chest.

The door opened and Sirius gave him a forced smile as he held it open for him.

Draco looked down at Harry, who was now sitting up in bed, a tissue clutched tightly in one shaking hand. The other hand was busy pulling at a loose thread in the blanket Mrs. Weasley had made for him.

"Harry…" Draco cleared his throat. "Are you…are you still thinking about leaving?"

"Yes," Harry said softly.

A hard lump formed in Draco's throat. "But…but why? I want you to stay. I thought I was clear about that."

Harry shrugged. "Maybe you can get Cedric back if I leave."

"I don't want Cedric back." And as the words left his mouth, he realized that they were the truth. A weight lifted from his shoulders as he stared down at the one man that he absolutely _needed_ in his life. "You know, what I said in the kitchen…it…it came out wrong. That wasn't what I meant."

Harry swallowed and let out a soft sigh. "I'm just…tired, Draco."

Sirius took the two mugs of tea from Draco and placed them on the nightstand. "I won't be back for a few more days," he said softly as he sat down next to Harry on the bed. "I only came back for the day because you sounded so…heartbroken."

_Not heartbroken. I didn't…I swear, I didn't mean to._

Harry reached out and took Sirius's hand. "Thank you for coming. I know it's not easy for you to get away while you're working."

Sirius kissed Harry's head. "I'll take a leave of absence after this. We'll have time to get you healthy again and to spend some time together. Perhaps we'll travel when you're ready."

Harry looked up at him with teary eyes. "I'd like that," he said softly before leaning in to him.

Sirius held him tightly and looked up at Draco. He motioned with his head for him to leave the room.

Unable to think of anything to say or do, Draco did as he asked.

*.*.*.*

Draco didn't know what to do with himself. He was sitting on the couch, his elbows on his bouncing knees and his head in his hands. He couldn't keep still, but he didn't want to move from the couch in case Harry or Sirius finally came out of the bedroom. Unable to stand anymore of the sitting and waiting, he flopped onto his back and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself and steady his breathing.

He had suspicions that Sirius was not very fond of him. Not that he blamed the man or anything, he just wished that they had met under better circumstances. Perhaps then he would be an asset rather than a disadvantage.

_He's most likely in there telling him how much better off he is without me. And the worst part is that it's probably true._

He gritted his teeth and covered his head as he rolled onto his side, trying to block out the thoughts.

He tried forcing himself to think about something else. Something like work or the new club or what he was getting Pansy for her birthday or what his mother would say if she knew he was shagging her cousins Godson…

He growled softly to himself. _Mother. This is _her_ fault. _Briefly, he tried to imagine what his life would be like had she not forced her idiotic lessons on him. _I probably wouldn't be in this predicament. And neither would Harry. Or Cedric._

_Of course, I would never have met Cedric and Harry would probably be with Oliver still._

_Alright…so it's not Mother's fault. _The truth was that he knew whose fault it was and the thought of it was eating him alive. _You__ were the one who strung Cedric along for months while cheating on him every chance you got. __You__ were the one who seduced a broken, needy man and lured him into feeling safe before stomping all over what was left of his already damaged heart._

_Stupid git. No wonder they both hate you now._

Clenching his jaw to the point of pain, he sighed heavily. _Count to ten. Just count and breathe…count and breathe…count…and…_

He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep and he wasn't sure how it had even been possible, given the state of his thoughts, but he woke up with a start at the sound of the soft click of Harry's bedroom door closing.

He bolted up from the couch, his heart pounding as he stared at the hallway, waiting.

Sirius emerged a moment later, looking tired and grim. Though he was already across the room from him, Draco took a step back in fear.

Dark grey eyes came up to meet his stare and Draco swallowed thickly at the sight. "I'm sorry," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Sirius frowned. "You should be."

Draco could no longer hold his gaze, so he looked down at his hands which were clenched tightly together. _Why did I wait for this? Why didn't I just go to sleep and try again in the morning?_

"I don't like to see Harry hurting."

Draco nodded. "Neither do I."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

Draco flinched. _You deserved that._

"I can't say that I understand exactly what this is that the two of you share, but I must say that I do not approve of the situation."

Draco nodded solemnly as he continued to stare at his hands.

"If I didn't have to go back to Belfast, I would already have him packed and ready to go."

"I understand," Draco whispered.

Sirius was silent for a moment then he let out a loud sigh. He walked over to the couch and sat down heavily. "Come sit down, Draco," he said softly.

Draco hesitated briefly, then slowly made his way to the couch and sat down on the edge furthest away from Harry's intimidating Godfather.

Sirius crossed his legs and calmly folded his hands in his lap. "I have a couple options in mind. Ron's parents are great friends of mine, so they would take Harry in if I asked them. They've always thought of him as one of their own and would love to have him." An almost unbearable silence fell over the room before he finally spoke again. "The other option would be to leave him here with you."

Draco looked up in surprise.

"With the understanding," Sirius said with a raised eyebrow, "that you will in no way upset him again. You will not speak to him of anything other than what is necessary to get him through each day until I return. Do you think you can manage that?"

Despite the fear he had of this man, Draco was becoming angry. "You want me to isolate him? You want me to just pretend that he's not here unless he calls for me? You want me to act like a servant in my own home?"

Sirius laughed softly, though there was a trace of anger there. "In essence, yes…that is what I'm asking."

"I won't do it."

"Then you leave me no choice but to remove him from your home."

"Sirius, that's enough."

They both looked up to see Harry sitting in his chair at the end of the hallway, an angry scowl on his tired face. He rolled himself into the room, never taking his eyes from his Godfather's. "I know you mean well, but you don't know the whole story."

"Then tell me the whole story."

Harry shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. It…hurts too much."

Draco inhaled sharply and looked back at his hands.

Sirius stood and crouched in front of Harry's chair. "But you choose to stay here instead of with the Weasley's?"

"If I'm welcome, yes." Harry sighed at the sight of Sirius' frown. "It wasn't all his fault. We all played a roll in what happened and I think in a way, we all got hurt. You can't blame him for everything. If you want to blame someone, blame Oliver."

Sirius stared at Harry for a moment. "You're sure you want to stay here?"

Harry stared at him for a long moment, then turned his gaze to Draco. "Can I stay?"

Unable to form any words, Draco just nodded.

Harry looked back at Sirius. "Then yes, I choose to stay here."

Sirius gave him a look that suggested Harry had no idea what he was saying. "You want to stay with him after all he's done to you?"

Harry gave an annoyed sigh and scratched at his messy hair. "I won't be staying 'with him'. I'll just be staying in his flat. There's a difference. I don't want to be a burden to the Weasley's and with the number of people coming in and out of their house all the time, it's never quiet. I need quiet right now. So staying here is the better option of the two."

Sirius sighed and took Harry's hand. "Why torture yourself further? Haven't you had enough of being walked on? Didn't you learn your lesson with Oliver?"

Draco took a step back, his emotions caught somewhere between anger and horror. _He's comparing me to Oliver?_

"He's _nothing_ like Oliver!" Harry said, a bit more forcefully than was probably intended.

Sirius frowned and stood up.

Draco's heart was beating furiously against his ribs as he watched Harry and Sirius argue. _Why does he even want to be here? Sirius is right. He'd probably be better off anywhere else than he would be here. _"Maybe…" His voice failed him when two sets of eyes suddenly turned to him. He cleared his throat. "Maybe he's right, Harry. Maybe it would be better if you went to stay with the Weasley's."

Harry stared at him in shock. "You want me to leave?"

Draco took a hesitant step towards him. "Of course I don't _want_ you to leave. I want you to stay. But mostly, I just want you to be…happy. And it doesn't seem I'm very good at making you happy." He smiled sadly at the brunet. "You need to be someplace where you will be."

"I was happy last night," Harry said with a sad smile of his own.

Draco pressed his lips together and nodded. "So was I."

Harry gave him a look of confusion. "Then what's the problem?"

"I am, apparently." Draco moved closer to him. "Though I don't mean to be. I really…I'm trying really hard, Harry. Maybe with Cedric gone, I'll finally be able to straighten things out in my head. I can think a bit clearer now and I'm not sure exactly what I want, but I do know that I want you to stay, even if it is for just a few more days."

Harry sucked in a deep breath and looked back at Sirius. "It's settled then. I'm staying."

Sirius glared at Draco, but his face softened when he looked back at his Godson. "Alright then. You're an adult and you can make your own decisions."

"Thank you."

"But you call me if he gets out of line again."

Harry managed a small smile. "Of course. Though I don't think we'll be having anymore problems of that sort." He glanced at Draco and his smile faded as he looked back down at his hands.

Sirius rubbed his face and sighed. "Well, since I don't have to be back until the morning, how about you and I spend the day together? I'll take you out to lunch and we'll do some shopping, how does that sound?"

Harry nodded and headed for his room. "Just give me a few minutes to get ready." He vanished down the hallway.

Sirius turned and looked at Draco. "What are you planning?"

Draco's mouth fell open. "Wha…what? I'm not planning anything."

Sirius looked at him closely, then nodded his head. "Right. Just remember, if he ever again calls me in the middle of the night sobbing and incoherent, I will be back here so fast, you'll never know what hit you."

Draco swallowed and gave him a jerky nod. "Sirius…I care about him. I think I may even…" He blushed and looked down, unable to get the words out. _If you can't even think it, what makes you think you'd be able to say it?_

Sirius's stern expression softened as he moved closer and placed a hand on Draco's shoulder. "I'm not saying that your feelings are wrong or that they aren't returned. I just want you to be sure of what it is you're doing. Give yourself some time to process the loss of Cedric and please…please don't hurt Harry anymore than he already is. He's stronger than he seems, Draco, but not when it comes to matters of the heart."

Draco nodded and tried to smile. "I promise I'll be careful with him."

Sirius managed a small smile and squeezed Draco's shoulder. "I guess that's all I can really ask of you."

Draco nodded again.

Sirius gave him a reassuring smile. "You're a lot like your father, but I can tell that you're fighting it. I also get the feeling that you're strong like your mother, so I have no doubt in my mind that you will win that battle. Get your problems sorted and your anger resolved and then, and only then, will you be the man that Harry needs you to be."

Draco stared up at him in shock. "I don't know if I know how to do that."

"You'll figure it out. I have faith."

Harry cleared his throat softly as he rolled into the room. "Ready to go?"

Sirius nodded and patted Draco on the back before leading Harry out of the flat.

Draco stared at the closed door for a few minutes then made his way back to the couch where he collapsed and was asleep almost instantly.

*.*.*.*

"What happened last night?" Blaise asked as he tossed his jacket onto his chair and pulled himself up onto the desk.

Draco's brow creased as he looked up at him. "What are you on about?"

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Don't give me that shit, Dray. What the hell happened? Your eyes are bloodshot and you're just generally a mess. Like you don't even care anymore. That's not like you."

Draco scowled and looked back at the invoice he was reviewing. "I look fine."

Blaise sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Draco…"

Draco threw down the papers he was holding and looked up at his best friend. "Cedric walked in on me and Harry together."

"Yeah? Well you two broke up so what's the problem?"

Draco blushed and looked away. "Well…" He licked his dry lips and cleared his throat. "I was…"

"Spit it out, Dray."

With a loud sigh, Draco finally looked back at his friend. "I…bottomed for Harry last night."

Blaise smirked, but stayed silent as he watched Draco's blush spread down to his neck. He waited until his friend started shifting nervously before he continued. "And Cedric saw?"

Draco nodded.

Blaise laughed and slapped his knee.

Draco glared at him. "It isn't funny! He was really hurt. And I think he heard when Harry started to say that he loves me."

Blaise's laugh faded and he jumped down from the desk. "Are you serious? He told you?"

"Well, no, but I think he was going to."

"Did you ask him?"

Draco blushed again and looked down. "We sort of had a fight. What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, hey, Harry? Remember last night when you started to say something and Cedric walked in and I all but threw you across the bed in my desperate attempt to get to him? What were you going to say to me?' I don't think that would've gone over well."

"What did you two fight about?"

Draco sighed and leaned back in his chair. He told his friend everything that had happened the night before and earlier that day, including the fact that he had listened to Harry cry all night and had done nothing to comfort him. By the time he finished, he felt so guilty that he couldn't bring himself to make eye contact.

Blaise frowned as he walked over to Draco's chair and slapped him hard across the back of the head.

"Ow! What the fuck, Blaise?" Draco rubbed his head and narrowed his eyes at his incredibly pissed off friend.

"You are the world's biggest git, did you know that?"

"What the fuck are you - "

"Why didn't you just _talk_ to him?"

Draco stared at him. "What the hell was I supposed to say?"

"You could have tried telling him how you feel."

"I don't _know_ how I feel, so how am I supposed to explain it to him?"

"You know damn well how you feel, Draco, so stop being such a fucking coward!"

Draco's jaw dropped.

"I know what you're afraid of."

"I'm not _afraid_ of anything, Zabini…so shut it."

Blaise laughed softly and leaned in closer to him. "He isn't Cedric. I know how devastated you were when Cedric admitted that he cheated on you. And as much as you may like to pretend, I don't think you ever got over that feeling of betrayal."

Draco scowled at him and looked away.

"And I know how devastated you were when I turned you down, and words can't begin to tell you how sorry I am that I hurt you, but it happened and we got through it."

Draco rubbed his tired eyes and sighed. "Please stop."

"And I know that you don't want to go through that pain again, but unfortunately, pain is a part of life and you're going to have to learn to deal with that."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Blaise…I know that, you stupid git. Leave me alone." He spun his chair around so his back was to him and folded his arms tightly over his chest.

Blaise grabbed the back of the chair and spun it back around, forcing Draco to face him. "I know your first two shots at love backfired on you, but, Draco…Harry loves you. You know he does, I know he does…we _all_ know he does."

The blond refused to look up, but nodded his head to show he was listening.

"You have to talk to him. Just tell him how you feel, even if you can't actually say 'I love you' yet."

Draco stood and faced his friend. "Just drop it. I'll talk to him when I'm ready."

"Maybe it'll be too late when you're ready. You need him. You _love _him. Why is that so hard for you to admit?"

Draco turned his back to Blaise and breathed deeply.

After a long silence, Blaise walked over and gently rested his hands on Draco's tense shoulders. "Just talk to him. I'm pretty sure that all he wants is to be reassured that you feel _something_ for him."

Draco nodded and sighed in defeat.

They fell back into silence that was soon interrupted by Draco's cell phone ringing. He grabbed it from the desk and flipped it open. "Yes?"

"Draco?" There was a soft sob and some sniffling, but nothing else was said.

Draco's heart jumped into his throat. "Harry? What's wrong?"

"I th-think he's d-dead," he stuttered then he started to sob again.

"What? Who's dead? Harry…what the fuck happened?"

"Please…please come home. _Please_."

Draco had already grabbed his coat and was headed out the door, Blaise on his heals. "I'm on my way. Just…stay on the phone with me."

He could hear Harry's desperate sobs in the background, but the obviously distraught man said nothing else. Even though he could tell that Harry had at some point dropped the phone, Draco didn't hang up.

Blaise drove as fast as he could to Draco's flat and slammed on the brakes in front of the building, not even bothering to find a parking space.

Draco was out of the car before he had even put it in park and flew up the stairs. He slowed when he reached the landing and saw that his front door was wide open. His heart was beating frantically as he put the phone away and stepped into the flat. It was silent.

"Harry?" he called out softly. He turned towards the hallway and stopped in his tracks.

Harry was sitting on the floor against the wall and sprawled on the floor beside him was Oliver, his head cradled in Harry's lap. Harry rocked back and forth as he cried silently, his blood covered hand trembling as he stroked Oliver's matted hair. Oliver's dull, brown eyes stared sightlessly up at the ceiling.

"I'll call an ambulance," Blaise said softly from behind him before stepping out onto the balcony.

Draco was frozen in horror as he stared at the scene before him. The white rug they were sitting on was stained with spatters of blood and Harry's wheelchair was turned onto its side just a few feet away. His eyes frantically roamed over Harry's body, looking for any new injuries he might have acquired and making sure that none of the blood was his. He almost sighed in relief when he found nothing that hadn't already been there.

"Harry," Draco finally managed to get out. He took a few steps closer and crouched in front of him. "Harry?"

Harry looked up and as soon as he made eye contact, he started to sob again. He clutched tighter to Oliver's head. "It was…an accident," he cried.

"Shh…I know…it's okay." Draco moved closer and reached out to touch Harry's cheek.

Harry flinched away and squeezed his eyes shut. He leaned over, hugging Oliver's body closer to him and buried his face in his brown hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Fuck…I'm so sorry."

Draco made his way to Harry's side and carefully placed a hand on his back. He rubbed small circles and leaned in closer. "It's not your fault."

Harry sniffled and nodded. "It is."

"It's not." Draco leaned over and placed his lips close to Harry's ear. "Come on, love. Tell us what happened."

Harry shook his head. "He just…he was…I don't know. I don't know…he was just here…and…" He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut tightly as fresh tears began to fall.

"It's not your fault," Draco again insisted.

"Yes, it is!" Harry looked up at him, his eyes flashing with grief and anger. "It's my fault." His face crumpled and his lower lip began to tremble as he looked back down at his ex-boyfriend.

Draco looked helplessly up at Blaise who was standing silently in the open balcony doorway.

"They're on their way," Blaise said quietly.

Draco nodded, then kissed Harry's head and stood.

They both knew that trying to convince Harry to let go of Oliver's body would be useless, so they moved over towards the kitchen to talk.

"What do you think happened?" Blaise asked.

Draco shrugged and sighed. "I have no idea. He won't really say much, but I'm guessing that he killed him in self defense. I just don't know how he managed that when he isn't strong enough to fight him off." His eyes fell on a box on the coffee table. He immediately recognized Cedric's red sweater and a pair of his shoes and his heart began to race. "Harry." He hurried over to him and crouched down again. "Was Cedric here? Harry! Listen to me! Was Cedric here when this happened?"

Harry mumbled something softly, but wouldn't look up at him.

"He's still here," Blaise said softly from behind him.

Draco stood and turned around. Blaise was standing in the kitchen door and motioned Draco over.

"Is he…alive?" Draco asked, his stomach clenching painfully at the thought of what he might see in the kitchen.

"Yes. He's fine."

Draco sighed in relief and hurried over to the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway and stared at Cedric who was sitting in a chair at the table, staring blankly down at his hands.

"Cedric?"

Cedric looked up at him, his normally vibrant hazel eyes now red rimmed and glassy. "Draco," he whispered with a faint sound of relief.

Draco pulled out the chair next to him and sat down. He took Cedric's hand in his and held it tightly. "What happened?"

"Harry didn't kill him," Cedric said, his voice shaking and quiet. "I did."

Draco held his breath for a long moment before letting it all out at once. "Why?"

Cedric shook his head and looked down at their hands. "He was trying to hurt him again. He somehow found out Harry was staying here and he tried to say he just wanted to talk, but Harry didn't want to see him. They started arguing and I tried to get him to leave, but he was stronger than me and he kept pushing me away. Harry started yelling at him that he was going to press charges and Oliver finally lost it. He rushed at him and pushed him out of his chair and I just…I panicked and…I grabbed the fireplace poker and…it all happened so fast. I just swung and…" He shivered and looked away. "I didn't mean to kill him. I just knew he would kill Harry if he got the chance."

Draco squeezed his hand and leaned over to kiss his head. "It's alright…things are going to be just fine. You did the right thing."

"I _killed_ someone," Cedric said softly, more to himself than to Draco.

"It was self defense," Blaise said as he sat down on the other side of him.

"Go be with Harry." Cedric looked up at Draco and frowned. "He screamed when it happened. He screamed so loud. That's the part that I can't get out of my head. I don't regret doing it, but Harry was…" He swallowed and shook his head. "He was so upset and he told me to get away and…"

Draco reached out and gently wiped away Cedric's tears. "You did the right thing," he said again.

Cedric nodded. "I know."

Draco stood and kissed his forehead. He glanced at Blaise. "You stay with him, I'll stay with Harry."

Blaise nodded and placed a comforting hand on Cedric's shoulder. "And I think it might be time to call Ron and Hermione and tell them to come home," he added as Draco headed for the door.

Draco nodded his agreement and went to check on Harry.

He was still holding Oliver's head in his lap, but his head had fallen back against the wall and he was staring blankly in front of him. He glanced at Draco as he entered the room, then promptly went back to staring ahead of himself.

Draco kept his distance, but he sat down on the floor, just a few feet away and waited for the sirens that he knew were coming any minute now.

*.*.*.*

"They sedated him," Draco said into the phone as he paced in the lobby. "They said he should sleep for the rest of the night or at least for the next few hours. They're going to keep him overnight."

"And Cedric?" Sirius asked.

Draco sighed. "Blaise is with him at the station giving a statement. They seemed to believe his story and Harry answered as best as he could before they sedated him, so I don't think he'll get in any trouble."

"That's good. And I have to say that I'm not sorry that he's dead."

"Neither am I," Draco agreed without a single shred of guilt.

Sirius sighed heavily. "I knew I should have taken him to the Weasley's."

"We had no way of knowing. I still don't know how he knew where to find him."

"I know, I know. I'm not blaming anyone, Draco."

Tired of pacing, Draco finally sat and slumped down in his chair. He rubbed his tired eyes. "Are you going to be able to make it down here tonight?"

"Of course. I'm already on my way. I won't be going back to Ireland. They can get by just fine without me."

"Thank you."

"I'll see you soon."

The line went dead and Draco hung up. He stared down at the phone, debating whether to call Ron and Hermione, but he decided against it and pocketed the phone. _I'll let Harry make that decision in the morning._

He stood and made his way down the hall to Harry's room where he sat silently beside him and watched him sleep.

The reaction that Harry had had when the paramedics had forcefully removed him from Oliver's body was one of the worst things Draco had ever witnessed. The screaming and sobbing had been enough to wake his neighbors, who had gathered on the landing, trying to peek inside. Luckily, Blaise had taken up the job of guarding the door to keep out the nosy people.

The paramedics had tried everything to calm him, but eventually ended up injecting him with a sedative when it became clear that nothing else was going to work. He had passed out in under a minute and had been sleeping ever since.

Draco's eyes were growing heavy, as hard as he struggled to stay awake. But he finally gave in and took Harry's hand in his as he sat back, closed his eyes and attempted to get some sleep.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Please review!_


	13. Chapter 13

_AN: Lots and lots of time jumps in this one, so you may want to pay attention to the dates. Thank you again to everyone for reading. I love you all more than I can say!_

*.*.*.*

Chapter Thirteen

- June 8th -

He was alone. Harry had left the day before and he was now completely alone. Well, technically, Harry had never come back. Sirius had come and packed up Harry's belongings and moved them to his house, then taken Harry directly from the hospital to his new home.

Draco sat on the couch and stared at the empty spot on the floor where the white rug had sat since his mother had bought it for him over two years earlier. He was glad that the blood hadn't seeped into the wood. Having a constant visual reminder would have been too much to bear anyway. And he couldn't imagine what it would have done to the resale value. _Wow…compassionate thoughts there Malfoy. I guess you are your father's child after all._

"Knock, knock."

Grateful for a distraction, he smiled when he heard his best friend's voice.

"I've brought reinforcements," Pansy said as she walked into the room.

Draco looked up and directly into the tearing brown eyes of Hermione. He stood and managed a small smile. "Hello, Granger…or I guess its Weasley now."

She smiled a watery smile and hurried over to him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Draco," she said softly.

He cleared his suddenly tight throat and blinked back his tears. He wasn't sure why or when it had happened, but he had developed a soft spot for Hermione that almost rivaled Pansy. "I'm okay," he finally said when his emotions were under control.

Hermione laughed disbelievingly. "Of course you are." She stepped back and looked up into his eyes. "You should have called sooner. As soon as you two started fighting."

"And said what exactly? Please come home because I let your best friend fuck me and then broke his heart all within the span of an hour?"

Pansy frowned at him. "Don't be so crass."

Draco rolled his eyes and reached out for her, suddenly needing her near. He kept one arm around Hermione and pulled Pansy into his other arm. He held them both tightly against him and closed his eyes as he breathed them in. "Have you been to see him?" he asked no one in particular.

"No," Pansy said softly.

"I called but Sirius said he isn't seeing anyone right now." Hermione hugged him tighter. "How's Cedric?"

"I don't really know. I spoke to him briefly yesterday and he doesn't think he'll be prosecuted, but that's all he really had to say." He pulled them closer. "I can tell that he doesn't really want to talk to me. It's too much drama. I bet he's glad he got out."

"Don't say that." Hermione let go of him and headed for the kitchen. "Come on…let's catch up."

They gathered around the kitchen table to have some tea and talk. Draco asked as many questions as he could think of about Australia, anything really to keep the conversation from turning back to Harry, Cedric and Oliver.

"I think I'm going to sell this place," he suddenly said during a lull in conversation. He hadn't really thought it through before speaking, but just the thought of not living there anymore made him smile.

Pansy's eyebrows shot up. "But you love this flat."

"I used to. I don't feel comfortable here. I don't feel like this is my home anymore." He shrugged. "At least it's something to do, you know? It'll keep my mind busy."

*.*.*.*

- June 15 -

"He still won't talk to anyone?" Draco asked as he sat down across from Hermione and Pansy. He couldn't help the note of bitterness in his voice, even though he tried to hide it.

Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile. "It's not just you, Draco. The only person that he's been willing to talk to besides Sirius is Ron. I think that's because Ron wasn't there that night and he doesn't do the whole touchy-feely emotion thing. He feels safe with him because there are no reminders and no pressure to talk."

Draco raised an eyebrow at her. "Thanks for the pep talk, Weasley, but I was only asking a question." He folded his hands in front of him and tried to act casual.

Pansy and Hermione exchanged a knowing look.

"Stop having silent conversations about me," he snapped. "I'm fine." He stood up. "I'm not really in the mood for lunch? Shall we shop?"

The girls reluctantly agreed and stood to follow him.

*.*.*.*

- June 27 -

"This is just getting ridiculous," Draco complained as he lit up his second cigarette in a row.

Blaise sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Please…give it a rest, Dray. You can't force him to talk to you."

"But he had Pansy and Hermione over the other day. I don't understand why he won't just call me and let me know that he's alright."

"The girls said that he's doing fine. He'll call you when he's ready."

Draco glared at his friend and flopped down onto the couch with a soft sigh. "I miss him."

Blaise sat down by Draco's head and stroked his hair. "I know you do."

*.*.*.*

- July 14 -

Draco dropped his spoon with a clatter. "He _what_?"

Hermione looked down at her hands before looking over at Pansy, her brown eyes troubled.

Pansy reached over and took Draco's shaking hand in hers. "He left," she said softly. "He and Sirius are in America right now. They'll probably spend a few weeks there then they're heading to South America for a while. Then possibly Australia if Harry wants."

"What about his therapy?" Draco asked through the lump in his throat.

"He's doing well," Hermione assured him. "His therapist said that he thought this might be a good idea. Getting away from everything might be the perfect thing to help him get past…everything."

"In my world, we call that running away from your problems," Draco said bitterly.

Pansy sighed. "You always run away from your problems, so don't you dare start on Harry."

Draco gave her a dark look before turning his attention back to Hermione. "Why won't he talk to me? Really?"

She shrugged. "He won't talk _about_ you either. I don't really know his reasons Draco. You're just going to have to be patient with him. Things will work out, you'll see."

Draco sighed and nodded. "Sure. If you say so."

*.*.*.*

- August 29 -

Draco gritted his teeth as he thrust hard into the slim body that was bent over the sink in front of him. His hands ran slowly up the man's back and under his t-shirt, causing the material to rise and revealing a large tattoo of a snake on his upper back. Draco scowled and pulled the shirt down, covering the offensive markings that so clearly reminded him of where he was and who he _wasn't_ with. The pace of his hips increased and his fingers dug deeper into the other man's hips as he leaned forward and gently bit the back of his neck.

"Fuck," the dark haired man whispered. "Harder."

"Shut up," Draco growled at him. He slid his hand around front and grabbed the man's cock, which he stroked fast and hard. He was over it and just wanted to come so he could get this guy the hell away from him.

Soft whimpers and moans echoed through the small bathroom, but none of them came from Draco. He didn't make a sound as he pushed faster and harder. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes tight, trying to imagine sparkling green eyes looking back at him. He imagined Harry's mouth on his neck, his sharp teeth biting and nipping at him, his rough hands tracing the muscles of his back. "Oh fuck… Harry," he whispered.

"My name's…not Harry," the dark haired man managed between panting breaths.

Draco grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his head back. His hips stilled as he pressed his lips to other man's ear. "Two choices…I can keep fucking you and you will deal with me calling you whatever the fuck I want to call you or you can walk away right now." For the first time, he brought his eyes up to the mirror and looked into dark brown eyes. He frowned at the unfamiliar reflection. _This isn't right. I shouldn't be doing this. It's not the same…it'll never be the same._

The man smirked at him. "Well, get on with it then."

Draco stared at him, then pulled out and did up his pants. "I'm not in the mood." He turned and walked quickly out of the bathroom and into the noisy club.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" Pansy yelled as she hurried to his side. "What the fuck took so long?" She glanced over Draco's shoulder and frowned when she saw the dark haired man that followed Draco from the men's room. The dark haired man with shaggy hair and the same build as Harry. She turned her frown to Draco. "Are you kidding me right now?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What? I can't fuck a stranger in the bathroom? I used to do it all the time."

"'Use to' being the key words there. Don't turn back into the old Draco just because Harry is taking some time off to get himself healthy."

"I would have taken him unhealthy," he argued.

She nodded as her anger receded. "I know that, love. But you have to let him go for now."

Draco pushed past her. "I'm not ready to do that yet. Sorry."

*.*.*.*

- September 19 -

"Happy birthday," Draco said as he leaned in and kissed Hermione's cheek.

She was glowing and he could tell that she was just dying to tell him something. He smiled and raised an eyebrow at her, silently asking what was going on.

"I'm pregnant!" she yelled as she threw her arms around his neck.

Draco held her tight and laughed softly at her enthusiasm. "Congratulations." _Can't imagine how excited she'll be when she's pregnant with her own child._

He glanced over the top of Hermione's head and saw Pansy hurrying his way, her eyes filled with tears. "Did Hermione tell you the news?" she asked as she hugged them both.

Draco kissed her head. "She sure did. Congratulations, love."

Pansy smiled up at him, then turned her smile to Hermione. "What would I do without you?" She hugged her friend, then linked their arms together and dragged her back into the living room.

"You just love me for my womb," Hermione joked as she held tighter to Pansy's arm.

"Is there a reason why you're standing in the doorway by yourself?"

Draco turned to face Ron and held out a hand to him. "Not really. Just…thinking about how much has changed since this time last year."

Ron nodded and shook Draco's hand. "I think you need a drink, mate."

The blond smiled at him. "I think you might be right."

"I could use one myself. It's not everyday that a man finds out that his new wife is pregnant with someone else's child." He smiled at Draco.

"You're a good man, letting her do this."

Ron shrugged. "If it were anyone but Pansy and Blaise, I might have questioned it." He led Draco into the kitchen and poured them two drinks.

Draco leaned against the counter, hoping to still the nervous shifting he had been prone to of late. He quietly cleared his throat and stared down at his glass of whiskey. "So…have you spoken to Harry?"

Ron was quiet for a minute before he nodded. "I have. He's doing well. He and Sirius are having a great time."

"Where are they?"

"Well…last I spoke to him was a few days ago and I think he said they were headed for New Zealand."

Draco nodded and looked down into his drink. _Don't ask…you don't want to know the answer. Just bite your tongue, Malfoy._ "Has he…has he asked about me?"

Ron fell silent again.

Draco sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. _Told you so. _"It's alright…just forget I asked."

"I'm sorry, Draco. I really am."

Draco nodded and turned to join the rest of the party in the living room.

*.*.*.*

- October 2 -

"They're back," Pansy said as she sat down on a box.

Draco looked up from his packing and brushed away the hair that was sticking to his sweaty face. "When?"

"Last week. Hermione's been to see him and she said he looks amazingly healthy. That he was laughing and joking around and more animated than she's seen him in years."

Draco sat back on his heals and nodded. "Good. I'm glad he's okay." He grabbed the packing tape and desperately tried to conceal the trembling of his hands as he sealed the box he had been working on. He stood up and stretched his back then sat down and faced her. "I need to see him."

Pansy shook her head. "Not right now, love. Let him get situated and used to be being back. There's bound to be some old emotions that sneak up on him and set him back a bit. He needs a little more time."

Draco stood and pushed the box he had been sitting on back against the wall with the others. "You've seen him too, haven't you?"

She was silent, but from the way she looked down at her hands, he knew the answer.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to be angry with me."

Draco sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He hadn't had a decent nights sleep in months and it was finally starting to catch up with him. He moved onto another box, hoping to distract himself. "I'm not angry with you. I'm just…angry."

She nodded, but still didn't look at him.

"Did Blaise go with you?"

She nodded again.

His stomach turned and his heart clenched as he realized that Harry really was avoiding him. Him and _only_ him. "I'm sure it's for the best," he said softly, though he didn't believe a word of it. There was a sharp pain in his stomach that he tried so hard to ignore.

"I tried to bring you up, but…" She shook her head. "He loves you, Draco, I'm sure of it."

He snorted softly. "Right. He loves me. He just doesn't want to see me and can't stand it when anyone mentions my name, but it's okay because he _loves_ me."

Pansy stood and moved to stand beside him where she took his hand in hers and held it tightly. "He still has nightmares sometimes. He dreams that he was the one who killed Oliver or that Oliver killed Cedric because Harry was too weak to protect him. He blames himself still. And until he gets over that, until those dreams stop, he has to be away from you."

"But _why_?" He threw down the books that he was packing and slowly slid down the wall. "Why _me_ and no one else? I wasn't even there, Pans! It wasn't my fault."

She sat down beside him. "He knows that. At least, I think he does. It's just…" She sighed. "Don't you dare tell him I told you this, but…he feels guilty that Oliver is dead. He thinks if he hadn't told him he was going to press charges against him, Oliver would have eventually calmed down and left him alone…that he would still be alive."

"And I was the one who convinced him to press charges," Draco said softly to himself.

She held tighter to his hand. "He's convinced himself that everything would have been fine if he hadn't told him. He seems to think that Oliver was on the mend and that he was just going to let Harry go and he would never have seen him again."

"But that's ridiculous. Oliver never would have left him alone."

She nodded in agreement. "But he doesn't see it like that. He just looks at it as someone died and it was his fault. And he also thinks..."

"What?" Draco asked when she didn't continue.

"He says that if he hadn't been with you that night, you would have been able to get Cedric back and then Cedric wouldn't have been there that night packing his things. He wouldn't have been forced to protect him and he wouldn't have to live the rest of his life knowing that he killed someone."

Draco's eyes grew wide. "But…I'm thankful that Cedric was there. Harry never would have been able to protect himself. Oliver would have killed him."

"That's what Cedric told him." She looked away quickly when she realized what she had said.

Draco stared at her. "Cedric was there? He'll see Cedric but he won't see me?"

"It's complicated, Dray."

"Yeah…complicated." Needing a change in subject, he looked over at the piles of boxes in the corner. "The sooner I get out of here, the better."

"There are a lot of memories here. Are you sure you want to leave?"

He nodded. "I don't want to stay in the place where I made my worst mistakes. I'm looking forward to starting off fresh."

"Are you going to be alright?" She reached out a hand and gently stroked his cheek.

He tried to smile. "I don't really know."

Pansy moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "You've still got me."

He sighed softly and kissed her head. "I know."

*.*.*.*

- October 20 -

"Did you send him an invitation?" Blaise asked as they walked slowly together through Draco's yard.

Draco nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. His eyes wandered to the large willow tree at the end of his property, over the small pond that lay right beside it and back over to the small white house with the large back porch that was currently crowded with people. _I know Harry would have loved this place. _"I knew he wouldn't come."

Blaise put his arm around the blond's hunched shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "But everyone else is here, Dray. Remember that." He turned him around, forcing him to face their friends. "Every one of these people loves you. Even if they don't say it often enough." He kissed Draco's head. "Don't forget about the whole group just because one part is missing."

Draco sighed and rested his head on Blaise's shoulder.

They stood in companionable silence for a few moments until Blaise finally broke it. "Hey, guess what we found out today."

Draco raised his head and looked up at his friend.

"The baby is due on your birthday."

Draco couldn't help but smile at the thought. _Pansy and Blaise are going to be parents. How fucking weird is that? No more clubbing or drinking or Blaise working until four in the morning. No more barging into their house in fits of rage and dragging them on last minute trips to Paris._ He sighed and settled his head back on Blaise's shoulder.

Blaise laughed at his friend's lack of enthusiasm. "You aren't being a very friendly host. What good is a house warming without the host?"

_Nothing is ever going to be the same again. _A wave of sadness washed over him and he turned towards Blaise, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing his face into his neck to hide his tearing eyes.

"Hey." Blaise held him tightly against him. "What's wrong?"

Draco didn't respond, he just held on tighter.

"Dray? Are you alright?"

Draco shook his head and squeezed him, then suddenly let him go. "It's nothing. I'm fine. Let's get back to the party, shall we?"

"Sure." Blaise forced a smile onto his face to hide his concern, then ruffled his friends hair.

Draco glared at him. "Don't do that again if you want to keep your hands." He smoothed down his disheveled blond locks and headed back towards the house.

Blaise laughed and slung his arm around Draco's neck as he followed his lead.

*.*.*.*

- November 14 -

Draco was strolling slowly down the street, hands in his pockets and his chin tucked into his chest, trying to keep warm against the chilly autumn wind. He glanced into the store windows, browsing, but not really interested in buying. For once.

He paused in front of a pet store and smiled as he looked in the window at the puppies that were all curled up together, sleeping. His eyes fell on the two month old black lab at the center of the small group and his heart gave a painful knock against his breastbone. "Hey, Chuck," he said softly as he placed his hand against the window.

The puppy yawned, stretching its head back and inadvertently waking the other dogs that surrounded him. His warm, brown eyes opened and met Draco's gaze and he immediately jumped up, his small tail wagging as he pawed at the window.

"Sorry, buddy. I never really imagined myself with a dog." He tapped lightly at the glass and the puppy gave a tiny bark and wagged his tail harder. Draco smiled to himself and reluctantly pulled himself away from the window before turning and heading home.

*.*.*.*

- December 24 -

Draco smiled as he sat back in his chair and watched his friends laughing and talking. He glanced around his living room and his smile grew into an ear to ear grin. He was head over heals in love with this house. It was completely opposite from the Manor. The mansion he had grown up in had reminded him more of a museum than a home and as a child he had never been able to shake off the cold feeling that he was left with, even during the summertime.

This house felt like more of a home than anywhere he had ever lived and he had only been there for two months. Instead of the all white décor and sharp angles of the Manor, his home was filled with bright colors and soft, comfortable furniture. He had found a small vintage store in the next town over and with Pansy's help, had decorated the rooms in reds, greens and blues. It was everything that he had always wanted the flat to be.

And the lighting was amazing. Especially the almost floor to ceiling windows in the living room that stood on either side of the large marble fireplace and looked out on the ancient Willow tree and the small pond beside it. He had never imagined himself living anywhere other than downtown, but he had to admit now that this was what he had always wanted, even if he hadn't known it.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a loud screech from the kitchen followed by a bark and the sound of a dish clattering to the ground.

"Chuck!" he yelled as he stood and hurried to the other room. He threw the door open and almost laughed when he found Hermione on her knees and an overly excited black lab puppy standing on its hind legs and licking her face.

"I'm so sorry, Draco," Hermione said as she tried to push away the attention seeking puppy. She motioned to the dropped platter of cookies and brownies that had scattered across the floor. "I tripped over him and it just slipped out of my hands and…"

"Chuck, get down." Draco grabbed his collar and shooed him from the room.

Hermione covered her face and sniffled.

Draco closed the door behind the dog and immediately went and knelt beside her. "Did he hurt you? I swear that dog becomes more of a menace every day."

Hermione turned into his open arms and let him hold her. "No, no…he didn't hurt me. I just…" She sniffled again and straightened up, smiling a teary smile up at him. "Stupid hormones. You know how it is."

He laughed and wiped her eyes. "Are you saying that I cry like a pregnant woman?" he joked.

She slapped his chest and laughed softly. "No…well, maybe sometimes."

"Hey!" He wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her head.

She sighed and snuggled closer to him. "I'm glad that you're finally okay again."

"I'm getting there," he promised her. And he was. He had gone back to the pet store the following day and had brought Chuck home with him. He had never had a pet before and he found that the puppy was tiring and amusing and did a good job keeping him distracted when he wasn't working. And if he occasionally cried when the small dog curled up on his cold feet at night, well, that was no one's business but his.

Pansy and Blaise had not been pleased with the purchase of Harry's dream dog, but Draco found it to be a huge comfort to him. Not spending every day completely alone was a relief and with the number of messes he was constantly cleaning up and the amount of training they had to do, his days were full.

Despite her initial protests, Pansy was now Chuck's number one fan. Draco had strong suspicions that she was beginning to like the dog more than she liked him.

"You're sure you're alright?" Draco helped Hermione to her feet and brushed off the cookie crumbs that had stuck to her pants.

"I'm fine, I promise." She kissed his cheek. "But you get to be the one to break the news that dessert was ruined by that rambunctious child of yours."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the broom and dustpan to sweep up the mess. "Good thing I bought extras then." He finished cleaning up, then opened the fridge and pulled out a lemon cake.

She smiled. "Lemon is Ron's favorite."

"I know." He winked at her. "And don't you dare tell him that I was aware of that. I just figured with everything he's done for both you and Pansy and Blaise, he deserved something special. It takes a good man to be okay with his wife doing something as huge as what you're doing. And he hasn't complained once. I don't think any of us really give him enough credit. I know a cake isn't much, but…" He shrugged.

Hermione wiped at her tearing eyes and beamed at him. "I love you," she said softly then stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. "And there's no better way to Ron's heart than through food. Now you go sit down and I'll bring it out. He'll never know you had anything to do with it, I promise."

"I'm holding you to that." He kissed her head and left her in the kitchen to prepare their dessert.

*.*.*.*

- January 30 -

_Harry's warm, kiss swollen lips pressed tightly to his, his tongue slowly tracing his lower lip as his hand slid into Draco's pants and began to stroke him. "It feels like forever since I've touched you," the dark haired man whispered, then he sucked Draco's earlobe into his mouth, biting down softly._

"_Faster," Draco whimpered as he pushed his hips into the brunet's hand._

_Harry's hand moved faster and squeezed a bit tighter as he licked at Draco's long, pale neck._

"_Fuck, Harry." The blond's eyelids fluttered and closed and he pulled Harry into a rough kiss as he came._

The force of his orgasm woke him and Draco let out a long moan as he continued to push his hips against the mattress, trying to draw out his pleasure. When he finally came down from his high, he sighed and rolled over onto his back. A soft tapping noise caught his attention and he looked over at the door where Chuck was sitting and wagging his tail as he watched him.

"Sorry about that buddy," he said once he had caught his breath. He sat up and scratched at his hair. "You shouldn't be exposed to my perverted ways." He climbed out of bed and stretched before pulling the sheets from the bed and tossing them in the hamper. He showered and dressed, then made a cup of tea to take outside with them.

He watched Chuck run through the yard, chasing birds and the occasional leaf that fluttered in the wind. He tried not to think of the dream that had woken him so pleasantly, but it was the first Harry dream he had had in a while and part of him was reluctant to let it go.

He had stopped asking his friends about him. They all saw the brunet on a fairly regular basis, but Draco was never invited and he no longer asked if he could join them. Seeing the flashes of pain in Hermione's eyes had become too much and he found it was no longer worth asking just to get a negative response in return.

Two months had passed since anyone had even said Harry's name in his presence. _I wonder if that means he's moved on. Maybe he's found someone new and they just don't want to tell me._ He scowled softly to himself, unhappy with his train of thought. He had done so well lately. The pain had finally begun to ease and he had thought he was over it. He snorted softly at his thoughts. _Right… you'll never be over it and you know it._

He whistled for Chuck to come back and the dog hurried back to his side. He fed him and started to prepare his own meal, but was interrupted by his ringing phone.

"Hey, Weasley, what can I do for you on this fine morning?"

Hermione paused briefly. "Sirius died."

Draco was stunned silent. He realized he was holding his breath and slowly let it out. "How? When?"

"Heart attack. Last night."

He swallowed heavily. _I should call Mother and make sure she knows._ "How's…how is he?"

Hermione sniffled softly. "Surprisingly fine, or so he's pretending. He hasn't cried about it and he's…I don't know what he's doing really. But I think it's safe to assume that he's devastated."

Draco nodded, even though he knew that Hermione couldn't see him. He was shocked when he realized how badly his legs were shaking, so he made his way over to the table and sat down. "I can't even imagine." He sighed heavily and patted his leg, absentmindedly calling for Chuck. Just feeling the puppy's soft fur under his fingers calmed his racing heart. "He just can't get a break, can he?"

Hermione let out a soft cry and another sniffle.

"Does he want me to stay away from the funeral?"

"He knows that Sirius is family. He wouldn't ask that of you."

"He's family by blood, but I didn't really know the guy. If he would feel more comfortable without me there, I won't come."

She was silent for a moment and Draco began to wonder if Harry was there and if she was talking to him. He turned his attention to Chuck who was panting softly and staring up at him. He smiled sadly and scratched his ears.

"No, you can come. He doesn't mind."

"Will you tell him that I'm sorry?"

"Of course. I'll let you know the details when I know them."

"Thanks." They said their goodbyes and he hung up the phone. He reached down and pulled Chuck up into his lap, holding him tightly as he began to mentally prepare himself for the days to come.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Umm…yeah, sorry about that, everyone (especially to you KoaL). Feel free to review and tell me you hate me. _I_ kind of hate me, so no hard feelings. Thanks for reading._


	14. Chapter 14

_AN: Ah…more from our good friend Drama…hope you all enjoy!_

Chapter Fourteen

- February 3rd -

Draco stood, leaning against the living room wall of Number 12, Grimmauld Place and silently watched the mourners as they talked quietly amongst themselves. He had sat with his mother during the service, holding her hand and passing her clean tissues every few minutes, but as ashamed as he was to admit it, he hadn't been able to take his eyes off Harry.

Harry had put on weight and it suited him. He was no longer the weak, bony, broken man that Draco had taken care of all those months ago. Instead he looked strong and healthy. His once pale skin was darker than it had been, most likely due to the time spent in South America and Australia. And his jet black hair was shorter and a bit neater than before, though it would never be tame and Draco was glad for that. All in all, he was the same man whose memory he had clung to for over six months now, he was just twice as beautiful as he had been. Except his eyes. His eyes were dull and empty.

They had made eye contact briefly at the service. Harry had walked up to the podium to give Sirius's eulogy and as he scanned the crowd, their eyes had met. He had held Draco's gaze for only a moment longer than the others, but it was long enough for Draco to know that he had been acknowledged. It was long enough to send his blood pressure through the roof.

After the service, he had driven his mother back to the Manor before making his way to Sirius and Harry's home. He had been hesitant about coming, but only finally agreed when Molly Weasley had insisted that he come back to the house for lunch.

But as he stood there listening to old friends and family tell stories about the deceased, he felt out of place. Pansy and Blaise were sitting with Neville and Luna, discussing one of the many events that the group of them had attended without him. Ron and Hermione were with the Weasley's, comforting and being comforted in return. He hadn't seen Harry in the hour since he had arrived and he knew no one else there.

He sighed softly to himself and walked over to Pansy and Blaise to say goodbye. They gave him the same concerned looks they had been giving him all day, but he forced a smile onto his face and insisted he was fine.

As he was headed for the door, he caught a glimpse of black, unruly hair from the corner of his eye and he turned to look at Harry, who was moving towards him at what seemed to be an agonizingly slow pace. The brunet held eye contact with him, and then his emerald eyes darted to the stairs briefly before settling back on him.

Draco took in a deep breath and gave a barely discernible nod.

Harry kept walking, passing him by without a word and headed for the stairs. With a quick glance over his shoulder to confirm that Draco was following, he continued upstairs, not looking back again.

Draco followed him up to the second floor and down a long, dim hallway. Their pace seemed to slow even more the further they went and Draco's hands clenched tightly into fists at his sides, anticipation eating at him. The blood rushing in his ears drowned out the sound coming from downstairs. Just twenty feet ahead of him, Harry came to a stop, but didn't turn to him. Draco also stopped, waiting to see what the other man would do.

After a long, suffocating silence, Harry opened the door on his left and disappeared into the room, leaving the door open behind him in silent invitation.

Draco swallowed heavily as he followed Harry into the room and shut the door, cutting them off from the rest of the world.

The room was quiet except for their breathing. It was dimly lit, just like the hallway, but Draco didn't need light to know that this room, Harry's room, was beautiful. The centerpiece was the large four poster bed in the middle of the room covered in deep red blankets and black sheets that he immediately recognized as satin. There was an over abundance of the softest looking pillows he had ever seen and from the frame hung thin, almost translucent drapes that gave the bed and the entire room a romantic feel.

They stood silently and stared at each other, their breathing synchronized as they took in the presence of the other after such a long absence.

Harry moved first. He slowly closed the gap between them and reached out his shaking hands to smooth over the lapels of Draco's jacket. When he was done examining the material, he pushed it back over the blond's tense shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

Draco could hardly breathe. He never took his eyes from Harry's face as the brunet continued to undress him in silence.

Clumsy fingers made their way to the light blue tie that adorned Draco's neck. When it was finally unknotted, Harry pulled it from the collar of Draco's dress shirt and let it fall to the floor to join his jacket.

Draco's fingers itched to touch the man in front of him, but he was too afraid that he would do something to scare Harry off. He wanted this more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. He _needed_ this. And he wasn't about to do anything to screw it up.

Harry's curious hands finally made their way up to Draco's face. His fingertips brushed lightly over the lines of his cheekbones, the curve of his lips, the bridge of his nose. They traced his eyebrows and his jaw. Then both hands cupped his face and Harry stepped closer.

Draco drew in a ragged breath as Harry softly brushed his lips against his. No longer able to control himself, his hands slowly and gently slid up over Harry's arms to clutch at his wrists, holding his hands to his face. He took a step forward, pressing their bodies together at long last and ran his tongue lightly over Harry's bottom lip, seeking entrance to the mouth he hadn't properly kissed in almost a year.

Immediately, Harry's lips parted and Draco didn't hesitate in making up for lost time. He pushed his tongue into the brunet's eager mouth and his hold on Harry's wrists tightened for just a moment before he released his grip and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Harry whimpered softly into the kiss and his arms wound around Draco's broad shoulders, his fingers clutching at the back of his shirt, bunching the material in his hands.

Draco kissed him harder and pulled him closer. Just feeling those fingers on his face had been enough to make him painfully hard and he was pleased to feel Harry's erection pressing sharply against his hip in return. He shifted their bodies until they were lined up and slid his hands to Harry's ass, grinding their hips together.

The brunet let out a long, quiet moan and let his head fall back, exposing his neck.

Long fingers wound into Harry's hair to hold him in place as Draco attacked the boy's neck with his mouth. Not caring if he marked him, he licked, bit and sucked a line from right below his ear to the place where his neck met his shoulder. "I missed you," he mumbled into his slightly salty skin. "God, Harry…I fucking _missed you_."

Harry grabbed Draco's hair and forced his mouth back to his, pulling him into a long, desperate kiss that made the blond's head spin. Harry stumbled backwards, dragging Draco's body with him and fell back onto the bed, never releasing his hold.

A loud grunt escaped Draco's lips as he collapsed on top of the smaller man. His mouth moved softly over Harry's face as he pressed their hips tighter together, rocking slowly and relishing in every tiny sound the man beneath him made.

Harry craned his neck up to continue kissing Draco as his hands moved between them, making quick work of belts, zippers and buttons. He pulled back from their kiss and shoved at the blond, pushing him up onto his knees and motioned to his pants as he took off his own.

"Shirt," Draco reminded him as he pulled his dress shirt over his head and threw it on the floor, not bothering to unbutton it first.

Harry was almost frantic in his quest to remove his clothing and Draco had to hide a smirk. Now was certainly not the time for laughter.

When both men were finally naked, Harry roughly grabbed Draco by the wrist and pulled him back on top of him.

As their bodies came into contact, Draco closed his eyes and groaned, savoring the feel of Harry's soft, heated skin rubbing against him for the first time in too long. He pressed his forehead to Harry's temple and breathed deeply, forcefully restraining himself from taking him too quickly.

Arms and legs wrapped around him as Harry pushed his hips up against him. "Now," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

"Hold on." Draco tried to pull back, but Harry was much stronger than he remembered.

Harry growled in frustration. "Now!" He licked his own palm and reached down between them to coat Draco's cock.

Draco groaned as Harry's familiar fingers wrapped around him, stroking him quickly. It reminded him of his dream from only a few days before and he had to reach down to still Harry's hand before he came. "I need to…" He gasped as Harry gave a hard squeeze and ran his thumb over the head. "_Fuck_…" He pressed their foreheads together. "I need to prepare you."

Harry shook his head. "No, please. Just do it."

Draco looked down into green eyes that were steadily filling with tears and he swore he felt his heart breaking. "Maybe we shouldn't -"

"Draco, _please_," Harry begged him. "Now."

After only a brief moment of staring down into anguished eyes, he gave in, as he suspected he would always do when it came to this man. Draco kissed him softly and reached down between them to guide himself to Harry's entrance. He pushed slowly, easing himself carefully into the tight body he had been craving for so long. Fearful of hurting the smaller man, he bit down on his lip and watched Harry's face closely, looking for any signs of distress. He sank deep into him and couldn't help the soft moan that escaped his lips.

Harry winced and let out a sharp cry of pain, his fingers digging deeply into Draco's back as he bucked up against him. "Go."

Every last bit of his self control was needed for Draco to keep his hips still. He propped himself on his elbow and looked down at Harry's face. "Hey," he whispered, unable to keep the worry from his voice. He gently stroked dark strands from Harry's damp forehead, then brought his hand down to brush his fingertips against the boy's flushed cheek.

Harry opened his eyes and tears finally spilled down his face and into his hair.

The intensity of the grief he saw in Harry's eyes hit him in the chest like a sledgehammer. He had never before felt that kind of despair and selfishly hoped he would never have to. He swallowed heavily and leaned in to kiss the brunet's lips. "Are you sure you want to do this right now?"

Harry gave a small nod as more tears escaped. "Please, Draco. I just need to feel something…_anything_ but this. _Please_."

Unable to refuse him, Draco nodded and kissed away his tears. Then he slowly and gently began to move inside of him. Cringes and quiet whimpers made it obvious that the first few minutes were uncomfortable for the brunet, but Draco knew that Harry needed this more than he did, so he ignored the painful clenching in his heart and didn't stop.

Soon though, Harry's body began trembling with pleasure beneath him and Draco almost sighed in relief when the tears dried up. He kissed every inch of the smaller mans face, ending with his lips, which he was sure to spend more time on then usual. He pushed deeper and moaned softly, but despite Harry's desperate thrusts, he refused to pick up the pace.

Harry writhed beneath him, trying to urge him to go faster and thrust harder, but Draco stayed steady, letting their climaxes build slowly. Now that he was finally with him again, now that he was finally inside him, he found it hard to believe that he had ever thought it was possible to replace Harry with random strangers. No one else felt this good. No one else made him want to please them like Harry did.

He pressed his face into Harry's thick, dark hair and inhaled the smell of his shampoo and faint traces of smoke. The hairs tickled his nose and he smiled as he trailed his lips down to a perfectly shaped ear and lightly traced the shell with the tip of his tongue.

Harry moaned quietly and thrust up against him when warm breath brushed over his ear and down his sensitive neck. "Draco," he whispered softly. He ran the soles of his feet over Draco's calves and his hands slowly over his back, his fingertips tracing his spine.

Shivering at the feel of calloused fingers on his skin, Draco pressed his lips to Harry's throat and kissed him gently. He had missed those hands more than he realized. Just the feel of them made his cock twitch, the tightness in his groin becoming almost painful. No longer able to control himself, he began to thrust faster.

Harry threw his head back and closed his eyes as he let out a sigh of relief. His hands slowly slid up over Draco's shoulders and down over his collarbones to his smooth chest. He gently pinched and stroked his nipples, increasing the pressure when Draco gasped. His hands moved further down between them and he brushed his fingertips over the blond's cock every time he pulled out.

"_Fuck_…Harry," Draco groaned, his hips pumping faster against him.

Harry inhaled sharply at the increased pace then ran his hands back up his own body to his chest where he pinched and stroked his own nipples.

Draco groaned at the sight of Harry's hands as they expertly caressed his body, giving himself extra pleasure than just what the blond provided. Not to be outdone, Draco raised himself up onto extended arms and pushed faster, pounding deeply into him as he continued to watch, mesmerized.

Harry's mouth fell open slightly as he gasped for breath, his green eyes shut tight and his face tense and flushed. At a particularly hard thrust, he arched his back and white teeth clamped down on his lower lip as his hands finally gave up on his nipples and moved towards his cock.

Draco's eyes followed Harry's hands and he licked his lips when Harry began stroking himself in time with his thrusts while simultaneously cupping his balls and rolling them gently between his fingers. He groaned at the sight and finally looked back up at Harry's face to see him smirking at him.

"Shut up," Draco said with a soft smile, then he leaned in to kiss him quickly before moving his mouth to his chest to suck and lick at his nipple.

"Draco," Harry groaned as he bucked his hips harder and slid his hand faster over his aching cock. He continued to pump himself but brought the other hand up to hold Draco's head against his chest. "Don't stop…more."

Draco nibbled softly and flicked his tongue over the abused nipple, then sucked it between his teeth and tugged gently.

Harry's fingers tightened painfully in his hair as he cried out and wrapped his legs around the blond's waist. "Draco…Draco, please…bite me."

Draco growled softly at the request and almost came on the spot. His tongue traced slow, gentle circles around the sensitive skin, teasing and licking before suddenly biting down harshly.

Harry let out a strangled scream and came. His fingernails cut into the skin of his lover's neck while his heals dug into the small of his back, holding him deep inside as his muscles constricted around him.

Without warning, Draco's arms gave out and he collapsed on top of the brunet as his orgasm, almost painful in its intensity, ripped through his body in long, pulsing waves, setting every nerve on fire. The pleasure was so sharp that his mouth fell open, but not a sound escaped his lips. He couldn't control the tremors or the continued rocking of his hips, so he just buried his face in Harry's hair and rode it out.

They lay there together, both panting heavily, sweat covering their still entwined bodies as they slowly came back to themselves.

Draco groaned and nuzzled his nose behind Harry's ear. "Amazing," he whispered.

Harry sighed and ran his hands slowly up Draco's sides, then up over his shoulders and back down again. "I forgot how soft your skin is," he whispered back. He took Draco's face in his hands and raised it so he could kiss him deeply, his tongue slowly tracing every inch of the blond's mouth. "I missed doing that."

"Me too." Draco smiled and kissed him again.

Harry gave him a soft, sad smile in return as he lay back on the pillows.

Draco leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on Harry's neck, then sighed and rolled off of him and onto his back, taking a few minutes to catch his breath. He felt Harry shifting on the bed and looked over to see he had turned away from him and his shoulders were shaking. Draco moved as close to him as possible, spooning him from behind. "Are you alright, love?" he said softly, then gently kissed the brunet's shoulder.

Harry nodded.

Draco could feel the tension in the smaller man's body and knew that he was lying. He wrapped his arms tightly around him and pressed his cheek to his head, holding him as close as possible. "I am so sorry, Harry."

Harry's body jerked and he took in a shaky breath.

"Sirius was a good man," Draco whispered.

Harry shook his head. "Stop…please."

"He had every reason in the world to hate me for what I did to you, but he didn't. He loved you so much, Harry. More than my father ever loved me."

"Draco," Harry whimpered softly.

"The only bearable part of being away from you for so long was the knowledge that you were with him and that he would keep you safe and happy."

Harry grabbed Draco's arm and pulled it tighter around him as his grief finally overwhelmed him. "It isn't…fair," he eventually managed between sobs.

"I know, love." Draco rocked him and kissed his head.

"I fucking _hate_ this."

Draco shut his tearing eyes and held on tighter. "I know."

Harry turned himself around and buried his face into Draco's chest as his fingers dug painfully into the blond's shoulders.

Draco ignored the pain and continued to rock him, Harry's tears soaking his chest. "You'll get through this," he promised. "You have so many people who love you. You will get through it."

"It hurts." He burrowed closer to him, tucking his leg between Draco's and sliding his arm under his body so he could wrap himself around him. "I can't stand it. I can't."

"You can and you will." Draco kissed his forehead and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Harry?" The door opened and Ron peeked his head in. His eyes grew wide at the sight of his best friend, naked and hysterically crying into Draco's bare chest.

Harry didn't even acknowledge Ron's presence.

"I've got him," Draco said softly. "We'll be down in a little while."

Cheeks flushed and eyes trained on the floor, Ron nodded and closed the door behind him.

Draco held Harry until the trembling stopped and continued to hold him when the tears dried up. He silently vowed to hold him until whenever Harry chose to pull away.

An hour had passed before the brunet finally stirred in his arms and loosened his painful grip. Draco knew he'd have bruises on his back and shoulders, but nothing in the world could have dragged him away from where he was.

"You know," Harry said softly, his hoarse voice slightly startling Draco after such a long silence, "he told me to give you another chance. He said if I could finally forgive myself for Oliver's death and if you could finally forgive yourself for what happened with me and Cedric, we would be good together."

"He was a perceptive man," Draco said softly, trying desperately to ignore the lump that had formed in his throat. _I can never forgive myself for what I did to them._

"So…maybe, when we've both figured out what the hell we're doing…maybe then we can…talk."

Draco nodded and kissed his head. "Sounds like a plan."

Harry lifted his head and gazed up into silver grey eyes that shone with unshed tears. "Thank you." He kissed him softly.

"Anytime." Draco managed a small smile and placed a long, gentle kiss on his forehead before wrapping him tightly in his arms again.

When the time had finally come that Harry could no longer ignore his duties downstairs, Draco sat silently on the side of the bed and watched him dress. And for the first time that he could remember, he feared the future. Not knowing how long it would be until he would see the brunet again was eating at him, but his pride wouldn't allow him to ask.

"Draco?"

He focused on Harry, who was staring at him with a quizzical look on his face and he blushed as he wondered how long the smaller man had been trying to get his attention. "Yes?"

Harry shifted awkwardly and scratched as his already messy hair, only mussing it further. "Can I…well, I was just wondering…would it be alright if I…maybe…phoned you?"

Draco couldn't help the smile that spread across his face and he sighed as relief flooded through his veins. "Of course. I'd like that."

Harry smiled back, though a bit hesitantly. "My therapist doesn't think I should be in a relationship at the moment and I tend to agree with her mostly. I mean, she is the professional, right?" He shot a quick glance at Draco, but looked away almost as quickly. "Sometimes I think about dating again and it just…" He slowly shook his head and forced a too loud laugh which rang completely false in Draco's ears. "Even just considering it seems…_wrong_ somehow." He bit his lip and glanced up at his companion with desperate eyes. "Am I making any sense?"

Draco swallowed and nodded. "Perfect."

Harry let out a soft breath and looked away again, his eyes darting around the room and eventually settling on the messy bed. "I suppose I'm getting a bit ahead of myself anyway. We were never really 'dating', were we? That's not really our thing, is it?" His eyes stayed focused on the bed, but he seemed to be holding his breath as he waited for Draco's response.

_Shit. What's the right answer here? What does he want me to say?_ "Uh…no, I guess not," he eventually agreed and immediately suspected that he may have said the wrong thing, even thought it was, technically, the truth.

Harry exhaled hard and gave a sharp nod. "Exactly…so…I don't want…" He scratched his hair again and his lips pressed together in a thin line as he furrowed his brow. He finally pulled his gaze away from the bed and turned it to the silent blond standing before him. "I have your number," he said softly.

Draco breathed deeply, trying to force back the tightness in his chest and the sudden feeling of hopelessness that was filling him, but he nodded and tried to smile through it. He had dealt with many different versions of Harry in the past. He had seen him angry and hurt and ecstatic and giddy. He had dealt with outbursts that ended in sobbing and yelling, listened and watched as he stirred in his sleep from nightmares that Draco knew he could never even imagine. But somehow, this Harry was different. It was flat out _painful_, the idea that Harry couldn't get a sentence out of his mouth without second guessing what he was saying. An unwelcome uneasiness had somehow developed between them and he hoped it was a cause of their long separation and not something that would permanently hamper their relationship.

"I can't cut you out of my life again," Harry finally blurted, seemingly startling himself as well as Draco. He shook his head again and ran a trembling hand over his face. "I'm sorry about that, by the way. Not talking to you for so long was one of the most painful things I've ever had to do and I still don't know if it was the best course of action, but I think it helped me in a strange way. It helped me get my thoughts straightened out…well, a bit anyway. Part of me wonders if I'll ever get it all worked out or if I'll just…" He sighed heavily, frustrated with his lack of eloquence and his tendency to babble. "What I'm trying to say is…I know it wasn't your fault what happened to…to Oliver…but…" At the mention of Oliver's name, his words failed him and he shrugged as he looked up again, his eyes pleading for forgiveness and understanding.

Draco ignored the sharp sting of rejection that was coursing through his body and concentrated instead on the helpless look on Harry's face. He managed to muster up a smile as he stood and rested his hands on the boy's tense shoulders. "No hard feelings," he said softly, honestly.

Logically he knew that Harry's hesitance to date had nothing to do with him, nor did it reflect the brunet's feelings for him. It was, sadly, the expected result of Oliver's physical and mental abuse. But knowing that did nothing to change the fact that his heart still felt like it was breaking into a million shards of glass. He also knew this was neither the time nor the place for such painful thoughts, so he took a step closer and pressed the lightest of kisses to the corner of Harry's mouth, hoping to reassure him that everything was alright, even if he himself didn't believe it. "You should get back downstairs."

Harry stared up at him for a long moment, as if he wanted to say more, but finally, he nodded and turned towards the door without another word.

"Hey, Harry?"

The brunet stopped in the doorway and turned back to him expectantly.

So many words ran through Draco's head, so many things that he so desperately wanted to say, but couldn't voice. So instead, he forced a soft smile onto his face and let his shoulders slump forward in a sort of half shrug. "It was really good to see you again."

Harry smiled. "You too, Draco." Then he disappeared from the room.

Draco took a deep breath and grabbed his jacket and tie. He shoved the silk neckpiece into his pocket and draped his jacket over his arm before taking a moment to compose himself and heading downstairs.

*.*.*.*

When he left Grimmauld Place an hour later, it was with a quick wave at Harry who was sitting on the couch in the parlor holding the hand of an older man in a shabby sweater, his amber colored eyes red rimmed and glassy with unshed tears. He wondered at the identity of the distraught looking man, but knew his curiosity would have to wait.

He wasn't yet ready to go home to his empty house, despite the fact that Chuck was waiting for him. So instead, he gave in to his sudden need to see his mother again and headed to his childhood home.

"Mother?" he called out softly as he closed the front door behind him. His voice echoed back at him through the large entryway, making him frown at the cold, sterile feeling the house filled him with. He took off his coat and scarf and tossed them onto an uncomfortable looking chair in the corner.

When he received no response, he made his way towards the sitting room to his left where his mother usually took her afternoon tea. He hadn't made it even half way across the hall when he found himself distracted, his eyes drawn to the large family portrait that had hung over the stairs for the last fourteen years. He stared up into his own silver grey eyes. God, how he hated that painting. Per his father's instructions, none of the three family members had been smiling when they sat for the artist. Narcissa was seated in a chair, her elegant sapphire gown bringing out her blue eyes and draping beautifully over her thin frame. Lucius stood at her left in his usual dark business suit, his perfectly manicured hand resting on her shoulder in an almost possessive manner, his face frozen and expressionless. Draco had only been a child when the painting was done, but looking at it now, it was obvious that he had tried his best to copy his father's cold demeanor. He stood on the other side of his mother, wearing a suit that was almost identical to the elder Malfoy's, his still chubby hands folded neatly on the arm of the chair and his face showing none of the signs of childishness or youthful enthusiasm that would normally be seen in the face of an eleven year old boy.

"I've always hated that portrait."

Draco looked up at the sound of his mother's voice and watched her make her way down the stairs, one small hand holding tightly to the banister as she forced a smile down at her only child. Her eyes were a bit red and puffy, but even her grief couldn't take away from her beauty.

She paused on the second from last stair so that she was at eye level with her son. "Your father insists that it shows the best of the Malfoy's." She looked over at the painting and pursed her lips together. "I think it shows a miserable, lonely child. Every time I look at your face in that picture, I wonder if I somehow failed you as a mother."

"Of course not!" Draco protested, surprised at the direction of their conversation. "If anything, you were the one person that I absolutely _knew_ loved me. You have no idea what that meant to me."

Narcissa turned her face to him and smiled sadly.

Draco took her hand in his and squeezed it. "You were and _are_ a wonderful mother." He leaned in and kissed her cheek, hoping to push as much reassurance and love at her as possible.

She sighed softly and stroked his cheek before finally taking the last two steps down to his side. "Come sit with me, darling."

He guided her into the sitting room and they sat close together on a comfortable leather sofa by the window.

Draco held her hand in his as he gazed out at the gardens he had played in as a child.

"Your father isn't here, Draco. You may speak freely."

He visibly relaxed at the news and slouched down into the soft cushions of the couch. "I don't know where to begin."

"You can begin by telling me what it is that keeps you and Harry apart."

He looked over at her in surprise, his mouth opening to speak, but snapping shut almost as quickly when he found that he didn't quite know what to say to that. _She couldn't possibly know…could she?_

Narcissa laughed softly at his startled expression and patted his knee. "Darling…you have always loved Harry Potter. There's no need to hide it from me now."

His brow furrowed as he turned his attention back to the window. "What do you mean by 'always'?"

She stood and went over to a bookshelf in the corner and took down a photo album that Draco was sure he had never seen before. He had spent very little time in this room while growing up and he had never given much notice to any of the books, which he had known to be his mother's and was sure he would have no interest in. Besides, he had had his own small library in which to disappear when struck with the urge to read, so he had never been tempted to snoop through her things.

Narcissa sat down beside him and flipped open the book. She turned a few pages until she found what she was looking for, then set the book down on Draco's lap and pointed to a photograph.

Draco's breath caught as he looked at a picture of himself as a toddler, sitting in a pile of brilliantly colored leaves in the garden behind the Manor. His nose was pink from the cold and a red knitted cap was pulled down over his ears. A blinding grin was spread over his chubby face making him look more carefree and happy than he could ever remember feeling.

And sitting next to him was a child he could not remember ever having seen before, but instantly recognized. Harry's unmistakable sparkling green eyes were looking towards the camera, his mouth turned up into a shy smile and his round cheeks rosy. Tufts of black hair stuck out from under his yellow cap and a white and yellow striped scarf was knotted around his neck.

The caption below the picture read: 'Draco & Harry - October 27, 1981'.

Draco's stomach clenched painfully as he looked up at his mother and frowned. "What is this?" he asked, his voice catching in his throat._ This has to be some kind of joke._

"That was four days before Lily and James Potter died." She smiled fondly down at the picture of the two small boys, but there was a sadness in her eyes that had nothing to do with the recent loss of her cousin. "I was very close with Sirius at that time. Lily and James Potter were two of his best friends, so it was only a matter of time before Lily and I grew close as well."

To say that Draco was surprised at the idea of his mother and Lily Potter being friends was a bit of an understatement, though it was beginning to make perfect sense.

Narcissa absentmindedly stroked the page as she continued. "After they died, Harry went to live with Lily's sister and her husband. Petunia was cold and completely unlike her sister and Vernon was a cruel, bitter man. They already had a child of their own and were not pleased to be taking in another, especially one that was born of a sister that Petunia held such immense hatred for." She frowned to herself for a moment and shook her head. "Harry's uncle was working for your father at the time and didn't want to do anything to anger us, so he and Petunia continued to bring him over here every Wednesday and Sunday so the two of you could play, just as Lily and James had done."

Draco smiled softly down at the picture of baby Harry. _My God…even as a child he was beautiful._

Narcissa turned to the back page and pointed to another picture dated June 5, 1984. "Your fourth birthday. This was the last time you saw Harry before your father and Vernon got into a horrible, silly argument about something that no one even remembers now. Your father fired him and after that, Vernon refused to let Harry spend any time over here."

Draco stared down at the second picture. It was a slightly older him at a table wearing a party hat, his blond hair brushed and styled perfectly even at the age of four. He was standing on his seat and leaning over a large, elaborately decorated cake that held four lit candles. At his side was Harry, also wearing a party hat and his hair messy as always. He was holding Draco's hand in his and was leaning over, preparing to help him blow out his candles.

"I don't remember him," he said softly as he ran his fingers over the picture.

"Of course you don't. You were only four years old after all. After he had fired Vernon, your father refused to let us speak about him. He had never taken to Harry the way you and I did. The Dursley's moved that summer and we lost all contact. Sirius was nowhere to be found, lost in his grief over the deaths of his best friends, so he couldn't help me to locate them. And I did try to find him, darling. For two years, I tried." She reached over and tucked a few strands of Draco's hair behind his ear. "It broke your little heart, the loss of Harry. You cried that first Sunday when you finally realized that we weren't lying to you about Harry no longer coming to visit. You cried every night for a week. Most of those nights, I cried with you as I rocked you to sleep." She stroked her son's cheek. "You eventually forgot him, though it seems, never completely."

"Why didn't father want us to talk about them? Why did he want me to forget him?"_ I could have had him in my life all along!_

"He thought the two of you were much too close." There was a hint of anger in Narcissa's voice, but she pushed it away. "He said Harry made you weak. He didn't want you raised in the same manner that Lily and James were raising Harry. He wanted you to be stronger."

Draco's steely eyes flashed with anger. "But I was only a child!"

"I know that, love. But there was nothing I could do to make him understand."

Trying to forget his anger, Draco turned back to the album, his hand shaking as he reached out again to touch the picture. "Can I have them?" he said softly.

Narcissa nodded. "There are many more in there. I believe there are even a few with Lily, James and Sirius in them. Harry may like to see them." She let out a soft sigh. "He was such a delightful child. It saddens me that the two of you did not get to grow up together as you should have."

He sighed heavily. _It saddens me too. You have no idea how much so._

His mother smiled as she flipped to another page. "You named your teddy Harry," she said as she motioned to a picture of Draco lying in bed holding a small brown bear up for the camera to see. "It was Harry's gift to you on your second birthday. He had one that he called Draco that you gave him just a month later."

Draco smiled at that and reminded himself to search the attic to see if "Harry" was in with his baby things.

Narcissa laughed softly. "You told your father that you and Harry were going to get married when you were older. To say that he was absolutely livid would be the understatement of the century. He sat you down to explain that you had to marry a woman so you could have children…so you could have a 'real' family. You threw a tantrum to rival all tantrums." Her laughter faded. "He expected too much of a child. He didn't know how to act around you and insisted that he was only trying to make you strong. But I was the one who had to comfort you when he set his mind to something."

"So, not much has changed since I was a child?" Draco asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"He means well, dear, though his execution could stand some improvement."

Draco gave a bitter huff. "He's cold and uncaring and it doesn't matter to him if I'm happy or not. It took me a long time to see that. I only wish you could see it as well."

Narcissa pursed her lips together, but said nothing.

After a long silence, Draco finally looked up at her. "Why didn't you say something at the funeral? Why didn't you talk to Harry?"

She frowned, though it was directed more at herself than her son. "I didn't know what to say. He doesn't remember me, Draco. He was grieving and I…I hadn't spoken to Sirius in almost twenty two years. What was I to say?"

"He has no family left. You would be a comfort to him. He would love you, I'm sure of it."

She tried to smile. "Well, maybe you can bring him by sometime. I can tell him stories about his parents and Sirius."

Draco nodded and looked back at the pictures. He couldn't get over the shock of having known Harry as a child or the anger at his father for having torn the brunet away from him.

"I don't mind it, you know."

He looked up at his mother in confusion.

"That you love him," she clarified.

A deep blush stained Draco's cheeks as he realized that he had said nothing earlier to dispel her belief that he was in love with Harry. "But father…" He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. Technically, both of his parents knew he was gay, but his father firmly believed that it was a faze that Draco would grow out of, or at worst, learn to ignore. He fully expected Draco to marry and produce an heir and never failed to remind him of his 'duties' when they were in the same room.

"Your father is stubborn. He will eventually come around."

"No. He won't."

Narcissa sighed softly and patted his knee. "I'll talk to him."

"Why do you stay with him? He doesn't love us. He doesn't love _me_."

"Oh, but he does," she said as she reached over and grasped his hand tightly in hers. "Only he doesn't know how to express it. Just because he can't show it, doesn't mean it isn't there. It's…different than how I love you, but it is _love_, my darling. I promise you that."

Draco didn't believe her, but sensing that the argument was pointless, he let the subject drop. He looked back at the pictures and felt a clenching in his chest as he remembered his and Harry's first conversation on the bus stop bench.

"_Why do you care anyway?"_

"_You remind me of someone."_

"_Who?"_

"_You know…I have no idea. Just…someone."_

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he flipped back a few pages where his eyes fell on a photo dated just a few weeks before his third birthday. He was kissing Harry's cheek. Harry's eyes were shining, a bashful smile spread over his face. "Do you believe in fate?" he asked, his voice hardly a whisper.

Narcissa was silent for a moment as she thought it over. "I don't really know," she admitted, her voice almost as soft as his.

"I thought I believed in it, but…Harry's entire life would have been different if father hadn't fired that vile uncle of his and I refuse to believe that he was fated to be abused. We would never have let him be mistreated. With us, he would have grown up happy and loved. We would have protected him." He finally shut the book and closed his eyes tightly. "_I_ would have protected him."

His mother moved closer and put her arm around him, guiding his head to her shoulder.

"I need him in my life," Draco whispered softly as he clutched the book to his chest. "But everything is so fucked up now and…and I don't know what to do to fix it." Tears pricked at his eyes and he blinked rapidly, hoping to clear them away, but one escaped and slid slowly down his face. "I know that he loved me once. But we hurt each other so badly and with everything that happened…what if he doesn't feel that way anymore?" The thought made a fierce ache develop in his chest and he bit down hard on his lower lip as another tear fell free.

"Oh, my Draco." Narcissa wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly against her.

It had been years since his mother had held him in her arms like this, and the simple comfort was just enough to finally break him. He let her hold him as his tears came faster and harder and before he could stop himself, a flood of words began spilling from his mouth. He told his mother the story, leaving out the intimate details of course. He told her of their first meeting at the café and their second meeting at the club. He told her, to her horror, of Oliver choking him and slamming him into the wall and of Cedric's heroic defense of Harry that ended in Oliver's death. He told her of his cheating and how he broke first Cedric's heart, then Harry's. His tears eventually dried up, but he was too far gone to stop himself and just continued to talk.

His love for his mother only grew when she laughed and cried right along with him. She never interrupted, choosing instead to let him go at his own pace. There had never been a doubt in his mind that she loved him, but he had never opened up like this to her before and as sad and as angering as the story sometimes was, he could tell that she cherished every moment that he sat there, holding her hand as he admitted his faults and mourned his mistakes.

She cringed in disgust and fury when he spoke of the injuries that had put Harry in the hospital. But her eyes lit up with hope when he told her of the whispered "I love you" that had taken him so off guard and had turned his entire world upside down.

"At least that explains your sudden desire for a dog," she laughed softly.

Draco smiled, but it faded quickly.

Narcissa quickly sobered as she watched her sons face fall. She patted his hand gently. "Why did you not tell me about Cedric while you were together?"

Draco blushed and sank further into the couch, managing a slight shrug. "I don't really know," he said softly.

"I would have liked to have met him." She said it in a way that somehow managed to sound both nonjudgmental and disappointed at the same time. Though Draco thought that might have something to do with the immense guilt he was feeling at keeping something so important from the woman who loved him most in the world.

"I'm sorry," he said as he squeezed her hand. "It wasn't my intention to keep him from you. I just never thought to bring him here, especially with father around. Besides, it isn't as if I've ever brought anyone else home for you to meet."

Narcissa raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at him. "Has there ever been anyone else besides him? I was under the impression that until Cedric, there had been no long term relationships."

He felt his cheeks burning and looked away. "There hadn't been."

She reached out and gently touched his chin, bringing his face around to meet hers. "In the future, please do not make such decisions based on whether or not your father is here. I will find a way around him if I must. I can arrange for him to be gone or I can meet you somewhere else. But I do want to meet those who are important to you, darling. I want to see you happy."

He nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, dear." She patted his cheek and sat back against the cushions. "Just promise me that you will bring Harry around when the time comes. It would be wonderful to get to know him again and I would love seeing the two of you interact."

"Don't get your hopes up about Harry." Draco sighed softly and cuddled closer to her, resting his head on her shoulder. "I messed it all up, mum."

"Oh no, I don't think that's true." She kissed his head and rubbed his arm. "Harry will come around, love. You just have to give him time to figure things out. You may not believe in fate, but the two of you have a connection that can't be ignored. He'll come back to you if you just give him some space and time to heal."

Draco nodded against her, though he wasn't sure that Harry would ever really come back to him.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_An: So…I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I'd love to hear your opinion. Thanks for reading!_


	15. Chapter 15

_AN: There might be a bit of a cheese factor to this chapter, but I don't care. I like it! Enjoy!_

Chapter Fifteen

- March 31st -

It had been almost two months since Sirius had died and despite Harry's promises to phone him, there had still been no word from him. Draco was currently seated in the ridiculously comfortable, overstuffed armchair by the fireplace; Chuck curled up on the floor at his feet while he sipped slowly at a glass of wine. He stared into the orange and yellow flames and breathed deeply, trying not to let his anxiety get the best of him.

"He's thinking about selling Grimmauld Place," Hermione said as Ron handed her a cup of tea and sat down beside her on the sofa across from Draco's chair. "I can't say I blame him really, it is much too big a house for only one person."

Draco nodded absently, though he wasn't really listening to her. He glanced at his phone which was sitting on the table next to him and frowned to himself. _Why haven't I heard from him yet? Should I phone him instead? Why am I so worried about him all the time? Hermione would most certainly tell me if something was wrong. I should just phone him and get it over with. One of us has to take the first step and he's obviously not going to be the one to do it._ He reached for the phone, but as was becoming habit, changed his mind at the last moment and went back to staring into the fire.

"How's the new club?" Ron asked.

Draco forced himself to look over at him and pay attention. "Huh? Oh…it's good. Successful so far, though I don't spend much time there."

Hermione winced and shifted in her seat as she gently rubbed at her rounded stomach.

Draco's eyes filled with concern as he watched her. "Are you in pain?" He set his wineglass down and stood, quickly making his way to her side, glad for the distraction.

Hermione inhaled and held it for a moment before exhaling slowly. She smiled as she took Draco's hand in hers. "It's not really painful as much as uncomfortable. I didn't think it would be this hard." She squeezed his hand tightly before letting go. "This little one seems to be quite taken with the idea of kicking me in the ribs as often as possible."

"May I?" he asked, motioning to her stomach.

She smiled and nodded.

Draco knelt on the floor in front of Hermione and nervously rested both hands on her stomach. He had always been uncomfortable around children, but Blaise and Pansy were like family to him, so this child would be family as well and he figured it was time he became accustomed to the idea. In only a few months time, he was going to have a niece or nephew. He was going to be an uncle. Warmth spread through his chest at the thought and he smiled as he felt movement against his palms. "I've never felt a baby kick before," he said softly, his voice filled with awe as another kick moved against his hands.

"Try talking to it," Ron suggested. "I read somewhere that it makes them smarter if you talk to them before they're born."

Draco gave Ron a look of disbelief, but when he looked up at Hermione and saw her nodding in agreement, he made himself a bit more comfortable and leaned in closer. He lightly cleared his throat. "Uh…hello, baby."

Ron snorted, but it turned into a cough as Hermione drove her elbow into his side, effectively silencing him.

The blond glared at his redheaded friend and started to pull away, but was stopped when Hermione covered his hands with hers. "It's alright, Draco. You're doing fine."

Draco fought back a blush and nodded briefly before turning his attention back to her abdomen. "Hi," he said softly. "I'm your uncle Draco." There was another soft flutter against his palm and despite his best efforts he was unable to stop a quiet chuckle from escaping his lips. "You settle down in there, little baby. You owe a lot to your aunt Hermione and you should be a bit nicer to her internal organs." He smiled as there was a flurry of activity against his fingers.

Hermione laughed and leaned back into the couch. "I think she likes your voice."

"She?" Ron asked as he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Just a feeling," she said with a shrug.

"I've never even held a baby," Draco admitted softly.

"You'll do fine." Hermione rested her hands over his and smiled down at him.

Draco sat back on his heals and smiled before standing and heading for the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine. He stopped in the doorway when he heard his phone ringing, his heart beating wildly in his chest as hope filled him for the first time in weeks.

Ron stood and grabbed the phone, looking at the caller ID. "It's Harry," he said softly as he held it out to him.

Draco took a hesitant step forward, but stopped as he was stricken with an irrational case of the nerves.

"Well, aren't you going to answer it?" Hermione hissed at him.

Draco steeled himself, then grabbed the phone and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Oh, um…hi. Draco?"

His breath caught in his throat at the sound of Harry's voice and he internally rolled his eyes at himself for the reaction. "Hello, Harry," he finally managed to say.

"Hi," Harry said softly, his voice sounding shy and a tiny bit nervous.

Draco glanced over at the Weasley's and watched as they pulled on their jackets, preparing to leave.

"I'll phone you later," Hermione whispered, then kissed his cheek and grabbed Ron's hand, dragging him out of the house.

"How have you been?" Harry asked.

Draco made his way back to the chair and sat down. "Good…I've been…I'm…good." _God damn it, Malfoy! Pull it together you inarticulate fool!_

Harry snorted softly. "Me too."

There was a long silence as Draco wracked his brain for something, anything to say. He had been waiting for this moment for weeks and scolded himself for not having prepared anything ahead of time.

"So, how long do you reckon this awkward phase will last?" Harry asked finally.

Draco chuckled softly and relaxed back into the chair. "Seems a bit odd, yeah?"

"A bit," Harry agreed with a quiet laugh of his own. "I tried to phone you so many times, but I was… nervous, I guess."

"Why?"

There was a brief pause before Harry continued. "Our…relationship has never really been based on talking, has it?"

As much as it shamed him, Draco couldn't argue that point. "No, I suppose not."

"That's sort of why I suggested phoning you. It forces us to talk instead of jumping each other the minute we're alone together."

"You never had to 'force' me to talk to you," Draco said softly. "Even if that's all it ever is, I want it, Harry. We don't have to have sex ever again if you don't want to." _Smooth Malfoy. Could you possibly sound any more desperate?_

"Well, let's not be hasty," Harry laughed.

The sound of the brunet's laughter caused a pleasant shiver to run up Draco's spine. He hadn't realized how much he had missed the sound, even if it did still sound a bit forced. "Are you really okay?" he asked.

Harry's laughter faded completely and he lightly cleared his throat. "Well, I'm better," he insisted. "I don't think I'll ever really get over everything that happened, but…it's better and I guess that's all I can really ask for."

Draco nodded to himself and rolled his eyes again when he remembered that Harry couldn't see him. "So…what have you been doing with yourself?"

They talked for an hour, the majority of the conversation about Sirius, Hermione and Ron; Draco's club; Pansy and Blaise and a few small, non intimate subjects. Draco had never spoken on the phone with any of his prior lovers and was having a hard time coming up with topics, so he mostly let Harry lead and on the few occasions where they lapsed into awkward silence, threw in comments about Hermione's pregnancy or Pansy's excitement about being a mother.

Draco eventually began to relax and his barriers started to slip. Harry was speaking to him like he would speak to any of his other friends and though it put him at ease, it also made him wonder what exactly they were to each other. And despite his internal warnings begging him not to, he decided to ask.

"Harry? What exactly are we now? To each other, I mean."

Harry fell silent on the other end.

He hadn't been expecting silence. He felt a sharp pain in his chest and his heart began to race as he waited impatiently for an answer.

"I think we're…friends," Harry's quiet voice finally said.

Draco's racing heart skidded to a stop and his stomach flip flopped. "Friends?" He cleared his dry throat and tried to steady his breathing. "Yes…I guess that sounds right," he forced himself to say.

"With potential to possibly be more," Harry added when he heard the hurt in Draco's voice. "I just think…the best relationships start off as friendships and we kind of skipped right over that the first time."

Draco snorted and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "That's true."

"And in order for us to be lovers, we would have to be friends first if we wanted it to be a successful relationship. If we can't be friends, then how could we ever be more, you know?"

As much as he wanted to disagree, he knew Harry was right. "Yes, I know," he reluctantly said.

Harry was quiet for a moment before continuing. "When Sirius and I were in Brazil I decided that I wanted to get you a gift, you know, sort of as an apology for everything that…" He cleared his throat and began again. "Well, anyway, while I was searching, it occurred to me that I don't really _know_ you. I have no idea the kind of things you would like and that made me really…sad. I want to learn everything there is to know about you, Draco. Your favorite color, your middle name, who your first kiss was, your favorite movie, how old you were when you lost your virginity, your favorite song…everything. All the little things that people know about their friends and family. All the things that I wanted to ask before but never got a chance to."

An ache developed in Draco's chest as he listened to Harry ramble on and he was surprised to find that he wanted to know those things too. He had never realized how little they actually knew about each other and it made him wonder how real his feelings actually were or if they were based solely on lust. The thought that the things he felt for this man might be completely unfounded made him incredibly uneasy and part of him didn't want to know the truth. He opened his mouth, bound and determined to prove his fears wrong, but he was unsure of where to begin, so instead he just let the silence continue.

Harry sighed softly. "Nothing then? Should I take your silence to mean that you don't agree with me?"

That couldn't be further from the truth; Draco just didn't know how to respond. _It's easy enough you spineless git, just answer his fucking questions! _"I've never really…" Draco scratched at his hair and sighed heavily, unsure of why the conversation was making him so uncomfortable. "I feel like this is a pop quiz."

Harry snorted. "Nice to know that talking to me makes you feel so warm and fuzzy. Maybe I should just go…"

"What do you want me to say, Harry? You must admit, this conversation is a bit odd."

"No, there's nothing odd about this conversation!" Harry insisted, sounding slightly breathless. "I don't understand why you have such a hard time talking to me."

Draco clenched his jaw tight, trying to bite back the sudden flood of anger. But it was an exercise in futility. "Now wait just a minute. _You're _the one who fucking disappeared for months and when you finally developed the balls to come back, you continued to ignore me and now you're telling me that our communication problems are _my_ fault? I think you need to rethink your argument, Potter. I most certainly am _not _the one to blame here."

"Jesus…when did this become about blame? All I'm saying is…just…" Harry grunted in frustration and fell silent.

"Just…what?"

"You're not making this easy. Talking to a friend shouldn't be this difficult."

"We did fine for the first hour. Maybe we're just out of things to discuss."

"Or maybe we did fine during the first hour because it was impersonal and nothing of any true importance was said. You talked about the club, Draco. I already know about the club. I talked about Sirius and Hermione and Ron. Nothing new there. I want to know _you_. I don't care about how much money the new club is making or about the new outfit you bought or that your car needs new brakes. I want to know about _you_."

His heart was beating hard and steady against his breastbone and he tried to mentally will it to slow down. He breathed evenly, in through his nose, out through his mouth and hoped that the brief silence would be enough to calm Harry down. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be.

Harry made a soft noise of exasperation. "You know what…just forget it. I have to-"

"Green," Draco suddenly blurted.

Harry fell silent on the other end.

Draco felt a brief moment's panic as he thought Harry had already hung up, but then he heard a soft intake of breath and closed his eyes in relief. "My favorite color is green," he said softly.

"Red," Harry said in return, though his voice sounded a bit hesitant.

"Lucius."

"Huh?"

He cleared his throat. "My middle name is Lucius. It's somewhat of a tradition to use the first name of the father for the middle name of the son. I hate it."

"Mine's James. That was my dad's name. I love it."

Draco breathed steadily, hoping his heartbeat would eventually even out and stop trying to escape his chest. He hated the discomfort of their now stilted conversation, but it was better than nothing, so he forced himself to go on. "I was sixteen."

"What? What happened when you were sixteen?"

He blushed and rubbed at his eyes before continuing. "I lost my virginity when I was sixteen. Her name was Daphne Greengrass."

Harry was quiet for a moment before letting out a sharp laugh. "You lost your virginity to a _girl_?"

Startled by the reaction and immensely relieved by the sudden calming of tempers, Draco laughed along with him. "That's all you have to say? Well, you tell me something then."

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me about your first kiss."

Harry chuckled softly and calmed himself down. "It was with a boy named Dean Thomas when I was thirteen and at summer camp."

A small smile spread over Draco's lips. "Summer camp, huh? Did you and this Dean date?"

"No. We just…kissed. We were in a canoe and the sun was setting. It was very romantic for two thirteen year olds."

"Oh yes, terribly romantic. There's certainly nothing more romantic than floating around a dirty lake in a canoe."

"Don't forget the sunset," Harry added with a laugh.

Draco snorted softly to himself. The sunset part was admittedly romantic, he couldn't deny that, though it wouldn't stop him from trying. "You think _that's_ romantic? Romantic is long, slow kisses in the pouring rain or declarations of love at the top of the Eiffel Tower, not two hormonal thirteen year olds groping each other in a bloody boat." _Whoa…reel it in Malfoy. He was thirteen for Christ's sake!_

"There was no 'groping'. And are you seriously jealous of a thirteen year old that kissed me over twelve years ago?" Harry teased.

Heat flooded Draco's cheeks and he huffed. "Of course I'm not!" he protested a little too strongly.

Harry was obviously enjoying his discomfort. "Dean was the one who made me realize that I was gay."

"Wait a minute…you realized you were gay when you were only _thirteen_?" Draco asked in surprise.

"Well, yeah. Living in such close quarters with eleven other hormonal boys for three weeks can lead to some very surprising revelations."

"Was kissing as far as it went or did you two get naked together?"

"What? No! Well, I did see him in the shower once, but…no, we didn't get naked _together_. I was really shy at that age and he was so sweet to me. He was my first crush."

"Well, good for Dean."

Harry snorted.

"Did you keep in touch?"

"You are ridiculous!" Harry laughed. "No, I didn't keep in touch with him and it was one bloody kiss."

"Was it any good?"

"As far as first kisses go, I suppose. It was a little sloppy and there was some drool involved, but I think we did rather well for two first timers."

"Yeah? Did you write all about it in your journal?"

"Of course I did. It was my first kiss." Harry finally realized that Draco was messing with him. "Stop it, you git."

Draco grinned to himself and settled back in his chair, his temporary jealousy gone. "Do you still keep a journal?"

Harry hesitated briefly. "Yes."

"Am I in there?"

"Yes."

"That's probably one hell of an X rated book."

Harry laughed and Draco could almost hear him blushing. "You could say that."

"Can I read it?"

"No!"

"I'm kidding, Harry. I wouldn't let you read mine if I had one."

Harry was silent for a moment and when he finally continued, his tone had changed from light and carefree to a bit somber. "I've always kept a journal. I didn't have very many friends growing up. My cousin Dudley hated me and he would chase off any friends I did get. So, since I had no one to talk to for so many years, I wrote everything down instead. I had to get it out somehow. It really is quite cathartic."

Draco's chest tightened and his head swam with anger. "Where does this Dudley live?"

Harry laughed, though there was a trace of bitterness there. "Not a chance, Draco. I don't bother with them anymore, so neither should you."

He reluctantly let Harry change the subject and his mood swiftly improved as they returned to lighter topics.

"I should probably get to bed." Harry yawned.

"Sorry if I'm boring you," Draco teased.

"You could never bore me. Not even if you tried," Harry said honestly. "Just hearing your voice again makes me…well…" His voice faded out as if he realized he had said too much.

Draco breathed deeply as he felt a pleasant tightening in his stomach. "Go to bed, Harry," he said softly.

"Good night, Draco."

"Good night." He hung up the phone and sat in silence for awhile, the smile on his face making his cheeks hurt. Finally, he stood and called Chuck before heading off to bed.

*.*.*.*

- April 30th -

Draco had been afraid that it would be another two months before he spoke with Harry again, but much to his delight, not a week had gone by that they hadn't spoken. Their conversations were usually quite short, lasting anywhere from ten minutes to a half hour, but they were enough to ease his loneliness and help him get by. And though they usually kept the subjects from becoming too personal, he was quite relieved to find that his feelings for the brunet had done nothing but grow deeper.

But as much as Draco was enjoying their conversations and the process of getting to know Harry better, the urge to see him was driving him insane. His dreams were playing havoc with his sleep schedule and on more occasions than not, he woke with sticky sheets, gasping for breath and moaning Harry's name.

He tried to keep himself busy in the meantime.

His morning walks with Chuck were extended from a half hour to an hour and a half. He spent more time with his mother and longer hours at the office. He put the photo album of baby pictures away and tried to break his habit of looking through it every night before bed.

He also spent plenty of time shopping, the majority of his money being spent on presents for the baby.

Currently, he found himself standing in front of a small shop a few doors down from the ice cream parlor that he and Pansy frequented on a semi-regular basis. He frowned up at the hand painted sign above the door that read _The Baby's Bottom_ in what his aristocratic tastes considered tacky gold writing. _What a horrendous name for a shop._ He rolled his eyes and almost turned away before reminding himself that this was where Pansy had registered. He groaned softly, then turned and walked into the small, brightly lit store.

A tiny, white haired woman looked up at him and gave him a wide smile. "Welcome dear. Can I help you find anything?"

"I'm only looking at the moment." He smiled back at her, then began browsing the merchandise, which he was reluctant to admit was quite charming. Everything in the shop had an antique feel to it and he quickly realized how Pansy had become so enamored.

He was closely examining a small, intricately engraved silver rattle when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Hello, Draco."

His entire body went rigid with shock and he took a deep breath before forcing himself to turn around. "Cedric. Hi."

Cedric smiled a bright smile at him and came closer. "Shopping for Pansy and the baby?"

Draco nodded and fixed a smile onto his face. His heart was beating rapidly and he was surprised to feel his hands trembling. He set the rattle down before it had a chance to give him away and slid his hands into his pockets.

"Me too." Cedric continued to smile at him and sighed softly as he looked him up and down. "Wow…you look really good."

"Thank you. So do you." And it was true. Cedric looked healthy and even more beautiful than Draco remembered and he found himself aching for the days when the expected reaction to their close proximity would be to pull the taller man into his arms. His eyes roamed the face of this man who had once been so important to him. Cedric's smile lit up his entire face and Draco tried his hardest to give him a matching smile. "You look…happy."

Cedric laughed softly. "Oh, I am. Quite."

Draco nodded. "That's…that's wonderful, Cedric. I'm happy that you're happy."

Cedric finally seemed to notice Draco's discomfort and his blinding smile faded as he stepped closer to him. "Are you alright?"

Draco swallowed the sudden lump that developed in his throat and gave a jerky nod.

Cedric's brow furrowed. "You don't look alright."

Draco took a deep breath and forced a smile back onto his face. "I've just…got a lot on my mind." _That's not a complete lie. _

Cedric didn't seem to believe him, but dropped the subject anyway. "I heard you moved out of the flat and to a house outside the city. Who would have thought it? Draco Malfoy, the biggest big city guy I've ever known abandoning his posh flat for a cozy cottage in the country?" He laughed and lightly hit Draco's arm.

Draco smiled. "It surprisingly suits me."

"Does Harry like it?"

The unexpected question took him off guard and a slight frown replaced his forced smile. "What?"

Cedric's smile also faltered. "Does Harry like the house?"

"He hasn't seen it."

Hazel eyes widened with obvious shock. "Oh…I'm sorry, Dray. I thought you and he…" He looked away for a moment and Draco swore he saw a brief look of relief pass over his features.

Draco straightened his jacket and pushed his shoulders back, determined to keep his composure. "No. We still…talk, but we're not together."

Cedric nodded and looked back at him, a faint blush staining his cheeks. "Well, I must say I'm surprised to hear that. It sort of seemed inevitable. You two were clearly meant to be."

It was Draco's turn to look shocked. "You think so?"

Cedric smiled. "Of course."

Despite how uncomfortable Draco had become with the conversation, he was hesitant to end it. Being in Cedric's presence again was nice, even if a bit awkward and he wanted to draw it out as long as possible. He looked up again, surprised to see that Cedric had moved closer to him and was looking at him in concern. The sudden closeness made his heart race and he swallowed heavily as he forced himself not to take a step back.

"I've missed you, Dray."

Draco sighed and closed his eyes. "Me too."

Cedric reached out and tucked a stray lock of blond hair behind Draco's ear, then let his fingertips slide softly down his face, tracing his jaw before he finally pulled his hand back. "I hate that you seem so sad."

"I'm not sad, I'm just…" He looked up, his brow furrowed and his lips pressed together tightly in a thin line. "Jesus, Cedric…I'm so sorry."

Cedric frowned. "What for?"

"For everything. I'm so sorry for how I treated you when we were together." He cleared his throat and blinked rapidly, trying desperately to keep his emotions in check. This was something he had to do in order to move on and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to get his life straightened out so he could go to Harry and offer him something worthy of him. "I'm sorry that I…cheated and…" He looked away and took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry that I hurt you so badly. I loved you so much and I took you for granted every day and you didn't deserve that. I never gave you any of the things that you deserved. I betrayed you and I walked all over you. I was a really crap boyfriend."

Cedric laughed softly and took a step forward.

Draco's head shot up, surprised by the reaction.

"You weren't a crap boyfriend, Draco." Cedric took his hand and squeezed it tightly. "You just fell in love with two people at the same time. I can't even begin to imagine how confusing and frustrating that was, especially for someone like you who is so reluctant to allow love into your life. You managed it the best you could and you actually treated me quite well for the most part, so please don't put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Nobody is and we all make mistakes. _I_ made mistakes in our relationship as well. You weren't the only one at fault." He gave him a hesitant smile. "You seem to have forgotten my bad deeds and as much as I hate to admit it or remind you of the fact, I didn't manage fidelity well either."

Draco couldn't look him in the eye, so he settled for nodding. He glanced around the store and suddenly found it ridiculous that they were attempting to have such a serious conversation in a baby store of all places. He lightly cleared his throat and finally looked up into Cedric's sad eyes. "Do you maybe want to go next door and get some tea?"

Cedric raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to reply, but was distracted by the bell on the door ringing as someone entered the shop. He looked over Draco's shoulder and his eyes lit up as that same blinding smile from before slowly spread over his face. But this time, Draco knew that smile wasn't for him.

"Sorry I'm late." Someone brushed passed Draco and stood on their toes to give Cedric a quick kiss.

Draco took a step back, his eyes widening in shock. "Theo?"

Theodore Nott turned and looked at Draco, surprise etched all over his face. "Draco. This is… unexpected." He looked nervously up at Cedric and took a step closer to him, slipping his hand into the taller mans.

Cedric smiled down at the uncharacteristically insecure man at his side. "Draco and I just ran into each other," he said in a reassuring voice. "We were just saying some things that needed to be said. Things we never got around to saying before."

Theo frowned and gripped Cedric's hand tighter, but his eyes were glued to Draco's face. "Oh yeah?"

Draco tried to smile at his old friend, but he was still consumed with shock. "How…when did you two…?"

"Pansy introduced us a couple of months ago," Cedric said as he slid his arm around Theo's waist. "We've been together ever since."

Draco's mouth opened, then immediately closed again when no words came. He shook his head and suddenly let out a soft laugh. _Of course Pansy introduced them. Why wouldn't she?_

"Draco?"

He looked up at Cedric and smiled a real smile for the first time since he had walked into the store. "You two look good together." He turned his smile to Theo, hoping to reassure him.

Theo smiled back at him and visibly deflated when he realized that the blond was no threat to his relationship with Cedric. "Thank you," he said softly.

Cedric reached out and took his hand. "It was so good to see you, but we have to be somewhere soon."

Draco squeezed his hand and let go, smiling in understanding. "Of course. I'll see you at the baby shower?"

Cedric nodded and turned to lead Theo out of the store.

Draco turned and watched as they headed for the doors, amazed at the relief that flooded through him now that he knew Cedric was happy again. The guilt he had felt for hurting him so badly faded and he silently thanked Pansy for taking care of Cedric now that he was no longer around to do it himself. He realized that he still had one more thing to say, so he hurried after them, following them outside. He grabbed his ex-boyfriends arm. "Cedric?"

Cedric stopped and turned to him with a small smile.

Draco swallowed heavily and let go of his arm. "It occurred to me that I never properly thanked you for… for saving Harry's life…and, well, I just wanted to say that I'm grateful. I'm sorry you had to do what you had to do, but if you hadn't…" A cold chill ran up his spine and he shuddered and shook his head, trying to clear those horrifying thoughts. "Well anyway…I just…thank you."

Cedric's smile grew and he let go of Theo's hand to step closer to the blond. "I'm not sorry that I did what I did so you shouldn't be either. I've come to peace with my actions that night and I would do it again in a heartbeat." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Draco's flushed cheek. "But you're welcome." He smiled at him one last time, then turned back to Theo and led him away.

*.*.*.*

"Pans?"

"In the nursery," came a shout from up the stairs.

Draco hurried up the staircase and made his way to the last room on the left. He leaned against the door frame and laughed silently as he watched his artistically challenged friend try to balance herself on a ladder as she slapped yellow paint onto the wall, no particular rhythm to her strokes. "Maybe you should just stick to the decorating and leave the actual execution of your plans to the experts." He pulled off his jacket and tossed it aside before making his way over to her. He rolled up his sleeves and held out a hand in silent invitation.

She sighed heavily and ran the back of her hand over her sweaty forehead, leaving a streak of yellow paint that Draco smiled at, but had no intention of telling her about. She dropped the paintbrush into the bucket, took his hand and let him help her to the floor. "I just want to do something, you know? I feel a bit selfish, knowing that Hermione is suffering through mood swings and heartburn and viscous kicking and here I am, just waiting for her to pop and hand me my child. It isn't really fair, is it?"

Draco climbed up the ladder and took out the brush. He ran it over the sides of the bucket, cleaning it of excess paint, then began to even out the dripping mess she had made. "Hermione offered to do this for you Pans. There's no reason to feel guilty. She may be a bit sad when it's all over with, but it's not like she's never going to see the baby. She'll be over here everyday and you know it."

Pansy sat down on a box in the corner and watched as he used long, careful strokes to fix the mess she had made. "I just wanted to do something myself. I thought I could do this, but I realized a minute in that I had never painted a wall before."

Draco snorted as he climbed down from the ladder. He stepped back, admiring his handiwork, then grabbed a roller from the corner and a tray for the paint. "It's much easier if you use this."

They were quiet as Draco painted and Pansy supervised, both of them content to just be in the presence of the other. He was never as peaceful with any of his other friends as he was with Pansy and he welcomed the change from his recently roiling emotions. She centered him and made him relax even when he didn't want to and that was a lot of the reason he had shown up when he did.

"So, what's bothering you?" she asked as they sat down on the floor for a break, each with a cup of tea in hand.

He shrugged. "Saw Cedric today." He watched her carefully as he took a long sip.

"Was he with Theo?" she asked casually, trying to hold back a smile.

He nodded and frowned at her. "Why didn't you tell me? If you were really my friend, you might have given me some sort of warning."

Her smile grew into an ear to ear grin. "Well, it's not really your business anymore, is it?"

He was taken aback by her response and it showed on his face.

Pansy sighed and set her cup down. "Here's the thing, Dray…you know that I love you more than most, possibly more than anyone, besides Blaise. But Cedric is still my friend and has been my friend for years now. I loved the two of you together, well, most of the time anyway, but he needed to move on and be happy again. Do you have any idea how utterly depressing it was watching him mope around the museum everyday?" She took another drink, but held up a hand to stop him when he opened his mouth to speak. "Let me finish."

Draco scowled at her, but nodded his assent.

She set her cup down and reached over to hold his hand in hers. "I ran into Theo a few months ago and he was asking me about you and I realized that he also needed to move on. So, I figured I'd set them up together and they could commiserate over you together, possibly do a little Draco bashing and maybe they'd find a common connection _other_ than you." She laughed softly and held tightly to his hand as he frowned and tried to pull away. She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I didn't tell you about it because I knew you would try to talk me out of it."

"I would have done no such thing," he protested.

She arched an eyebrow at him and smirked. "Please…Draco Malfoy always gets what he wants and you and I both know that you never would have allowed it. You would have immediately become possessive of both of them and depending on your mood you may have even gone so far as to try to win Cedric back solely to keep him from Theo. That would have been unfair to all three of you."

He frowned at her and looked down at his tea, refusing to acknowledge that she was right. "I don't _always_ get what I want," he muttered.

She gave him a sympathetic look and rested her hand on his knee. "Harry?"

He said nothing, which they both knew was as good as agreeing.

"He's getting better though?"

He nodded. "We've been talking a lot of late. Most of the time it's nothing really serious or too deep, but then sometimes we have these short, ridiculously passionate discussions or arguments that make my heart race and my dick hard and I have to go jerk off just to keep myself from driving to his house and taking him on the floor of his entryway."

Pansy tossed her head back and gave a very unladylike laugh. "You're so crude, Draco."

"I can't help it!" He jumped to his feet and grabbed the roller to continue painting, hoping to hide the heavy blush that flooded his cheeks at the mention of Harry. "He gets to me in a way that no one ever has before. I _want _him, Pansy."

"He'll come around," she tried to reassure him.

He snorted as he finished one wall and turned to the next. "He better," he muttered softly. "I think I'm developing tendonitis from wanking myself raw like a fucking teenager. I haven't been so sexually frustrated since before I realized I liked cock."

Pansy sputtered and choked on her tea before laughing and throwing a rag at him.

"Ah, vulgar gay talk and tea snorting," Blaise said as he walked into the room. "I'm home just in time." He smiled fondly down at his still giggling, paint covered wife as she wiped the tea from her face then he turned his attention to his flushed and agitated friend. "Your mother phoned me. She said you aren't returning her messages."

Draco shrugged. "She wants me to come to the manor for dinner in a few weeks. My father is having out of town company and I really don't want to see him, so I'm doing the avoidance thing."

"That's all fine and well until she starts phoning me instead. Ring her back so I don't have to feel guilty lying to her."

"I can't help that you harbor a wholly inappropriate childhood crush on my mother."

Pansy laughed. "Your mum is rather lovely, Dray."

Draco scowled down at her. "You support this disgusting behavior?"

She shrugged. "He's been in love with your mother longer than he's been in love with me. I can't compete with the Lady Malfoy."

Blaise dropped to his knees beside her and pulled the tiny woman tightly against his broad chest. "There's no competition, love," he said with a smirk. He kissed her softly at first, but it quickly escalated to him pushing her back onto the floor and attacking her neck.

Pansy let out a squeal of delight as she pulled him closer.

Draco nudged Pansy's hip with his foot. "Hey! Stop that right now, Parkinson! We were talking about me, remember?"

Pansy pushed her husband away just enough so she could peek around him and look at her friend. "We are going to have a baby in two months. We have to get in as much sex as we can before he or she arrives. So you can either stay and watch or be on your way."

Blaise turned and raised an elegant eyebrow at him. "You have one minute before I take my pants off."

"Right. Don't mind your best mate's imminent mental breakdown. I'll leave the two of you to the _important _things in life and just go drink myself into oblivion. But don't worry your pretty heads about me, I'll be fine." Draco frowned at their lack of reaction, a mix of anger and annoyance marring his beautiful features. With a great sigh, he grabbed his jacket and hurried away before he was subjected to any nudity from his two randy friends. "I hate you both," he muttered under his breath.

"Bye, Dray!" Pansy yelled as he pulled the nursery door shut behind him.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: What's that, you say? A chapter where no one dies and Harry and Draco managed not to blubber all over themselves or each other? It's a fluke, I promise! Thanks for reading!_


	16. Chapter 16

_AN: Warning…Super drama ahead! I know…you never expected it, did you. :) __Hope you like!_

Chapter Sixteen

- May 7th -

"I ran into Cedric last week," Draco said, trying his hardest to sound casual. He downed his second glass of whiskey and set the crystal tumbler on the nightstand. He sprawled himself out on his bed in what he was sure his father would consider an undignified way, not that he much cared. He toed his socks off and stretched his legs before sliding under the covers and settling back against his pillows, his head pleasantly clouded with alcohol.

"How's he doing?" Harry asked a bit nervously.

"Wonderful, actually. He's dating Theo." Draco couldn't help the slightly bitter snort that escaped at the thought of the two of them together. "He seems genuinely happy. I guess he moved on rather quickly." _That's completely unfair and you know it._

"Well that's a bit unfair," Harry said softly, echoing Draco's thoughts. "He's had just as tough a time as we have, maybe even worse if you consider the fact that he…killed someone." Harry was silent for a long while before continuing. "I think he deserves a little happiness."

Draco frowned, pouting softly to himself at Harry's gentle reprimand despite the fact that he had just been thinking almost the exact same thing. "I know. I'm happy for them, I really am. It's just… strange to see him with someone else. And not just someone else, but someone that I've slept with." The mental image of Cedric and Theo together made him cringe and he sat up to pour another double shot of whiskey which he immediately drained.

"Well, my God, Draco," Harry said with a soft, teasing laugh. "If he isn't allowed to be with anyone you've slept with, then he'd have to leave the country if he ever wanted to get laid again."

Draco almost choked on his drink as he laughed, surprised by Harry's comment. "Or switch to girls," he added with a grin. His smile quickly faded though as Harry's words sank in and worry began to overwhelm him. He had never really cared before what others thought of him, but Harry was a completely different story. "It doesn't really bother you, does it?"

"What?"

"My past."

"Of course not! I was only teasing. I'm sorry that I said that, it must be the alcohol talking and I just…" He sighed softly. "That was a stupid thing to say. It was a bad joke, which you can ask Hermione, I'm known for. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. I'm fine with the teasing. Lord knows I'm used to it, having Blaise and Pansy as best friends. I just wanted to be sure that it didn't bother you. I mean…I was with a _lot_ of people."

Harry was silent as he thought it over. "Your past is your past, Draco. Just like my past is my past. I can't hold your old lovers against you or use them to judge your character just like you can't use Oliver or the Dursley's against me."

Draco flinched and gnashed his teeth together in anger at the thought of Harry's so called 'family'. "Why did you tell Cedric about your childhood and not me?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

"I…" Harry fell silent.

"I'm sorry, forget that I asked. I don't even know why I said that." Draco shut his eyes and silently cursed himself for his stupidity. He had promised himself that he would never pry into Harry's past, that he would let him tell him when he was ready and here he was, whining about not being told before his ex.

The truth was that he was fine with Cedric being with Theo and, surprisingly, he found them to be quite the charming couple. But ever since he had run into them, he hadn't been able to forget the fact that Harry had divulged his secrets to, in Draco's opinion, the wrong person. Jealousy had been eating at him for days as he thought about it and the idea that Harry had trusted Cedric more than he trusted him was heartbreaking.

"They weren't very nice people," Harry said softly, interrupting his train of thought.

Draco held his breath, waiting to see if he would continue.

"I don't like talking about it."

"But you know you can tell me anything, right? And if you were comfortable telling Cedric, you should definitely be comfortable telling me." _Shut up you fucking idiot!_

"Draco…"

Other than the admittedly irrational jealousy he was fighting and the alcohol that was only fueling his curiosity, he couldn't explain why he was so desperate for Harry to tell him about his horrible home life. It wasn't as if knowing how Harry had been hurt was going to make him feel any better, if anything, it would only anger him and frustrate him with the fact that he could do nothing to change the past. And he knew that it hurt Harry to talk about it, but he was almost desperate for him to trust him enough to tell him. "My father thinks my being gay is something that I'll grow out of," he suddenly blurted. "He still expects me to get married and have children to pass on the family name. He thinks I'm disgusting."

He could hear Harry's unsteady breathing, but he didn't say a word in response.

Draco's heart began to pound hard against his ribcage. "I thought maybe if I told you something about my family, you would tell me something about yours."

"Those people are not my family."

"Well, the Dursley's then." _Why can't you just let it rest? _"Come on, Harry…you told me about the things Oliver did to you and it didn't kill you, and he did some horrific things. Why can't you share this too?" He closed his eyes and braced himself, recognizing immediately that he had pushed it too far.

"I'm sorry, Draco, I…I have to go," Harry said softly. There was a soft click, then nothing but silence.

Draco held the phone to his ear for a long moment before snapping it shut and throwing it down on the bed beside him. He should have known better than to drink so much while talking to Harry. Alcohol had always loosened his tongue and caused him to act like a jealous schoolboy.

He jumped out of bed and grabbed the bottle of whiskey that was already more than half empty. He took long drinks as he began to pace back and forth, ignoring Chuck's soft whining as he watched his owner mumble to himself and occasionally pull at his own hair.

_You stupid, insensitive prick! Why are you so determined to ruin this? He's just starting to trust you again and you go and pick at wounds that are in no way even close to being healed._

He finished off the whiskey and tossed the bottle on the bed before grabbing the phone and, after two failed attempts, successfully managed to dial Harry's number. A soft growl escaped his lips when he went straight to voice mail. "God _damn_ _it_!" He tossed the phone back on the bed and stood there for a moment, one hand on his hip and his teeth gnawing on the thumbnail of his other hand. He glanced at his warm, comfortable bed and considered just curling up under the comforter and sleeping off the sudden drunkenness and the heavy heart that was twisting painfully in his chest. It was tempting. But he really wanted to talk to Harry. He _needed_ to talk to Harry. _You have to apologize before it has time to fester._ "Right," he said softly to himself as he pocketed the phone and slipped on a pair of shoes.

Before he could even consider the potential consequences of his actions, he was in his car, speeding down the deserted road and mentally going over the directions to Harry's house on Grimmauld Place. He had only been there one time, for the funeral, but he was sure, even through his alcohol clouded mind, that he would be able to find it again.

Luckily, he came across very little traffic. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he was so eager to get to Harry that he shut out the part of his mind that was screaming at him that he was in no condition to be on the road.

After driving slowly around a dark and quiet neighborhood that looked vaguely familiar, he finally spotted what he thought was Harry's house. He parked his car rather crookedly, jumped out and practically flew through the gate and up the steps where he immediately began pounding on the door. "Harry?" he called out in what he was sure in his drunken mind was a quiet voice, but which was actually a near shout. He stood back from the door and leaned over the railing, trying to peak in through the dark living room window, but frowned when he couldn't see a thing. When a minute had gone by with no response, he resumed his frantic knocking and pressed the doorbell at the same time. "Harry!"

The door opened so quickly that Draco stumbled forward and would have fallen if two hands hadn't reached out to grab his shoulders and steady him. He straightened himself and looked up into the face of a confused and somewhat angry Harry Potter.

"Hiya, Harry." Draco flashed a crooked grin at him and reached out to pat his chest.

Harry frowned as he looked down at the blond's hand which was now lightly clutching his shirt. "Please tell me that you didn't drive here, Draco."

Draco's grin faded and he let his hand drop to his side where it began to nervously pick and pull at the hem of his own shirt. "I just…you know…" He tried for a casual shrug, but it came off more like a twitch and he silently cursed himself. "I had to see you. I had to make sure that you weren't angry with me." He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "I needed to see you, Harry."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest, but glanced over Draco's shoulder to see his car parked in front of his house, the front tire up on the curb. "Give me your keys and get in here." He held out his hand.

Draco bit his lip and handed over his keys, then stumbled when Harry grabbed his arm and dragged him into the dimly lit entryway. "Why are you so mad at me?"

As soon as the front door was shut and locked, Harry roughly dropped Draco's arm and stepped back from him. "You're lucky you didn't kill anyone! Are you that bloody stupid, Draco?"

"I…I just wanted to see you." Draco stepped back, confused by the intensity of Harry's obvious anger. He leaned heavily against the wall, hoping it would help support his wobbly legs and give him a chance to regain his balance.

"You should have just waited until the morning then. I turned off my phone for a reason."

Draco frowned as his worry over Harry's anger faded and his own anger took over. "Being rude isn't much of a reason if you ask me."

Harry's emerald eyes narrowed and his hands tightened into fists at his sides. "_Excuse_ me?"

_My God…he is so fucking sexy when he's angry. _A wave of lust washed over him as he stared into anger filled eyes. Without any conscious decision he shoved off the wall and moved closer to him, stepping directly into his personal space. He flashed him a bright smile and licked at his dry lips. "Harry," he whispered softly, his voice instinctively falling into a low, seductive drawl that he had mastered years ago to aid him in his all too often quests for the next one night stand. A part of him acknowledged what he was doing, that he was using such an impersonal tool against Harry and that he deserved better, but the other part only acknowledged the sudden tightness of his pants and his desire to be rid of any clothing separating the two of them. "Let's not fight, Harry…I hate fighting with you." He reached out and tried to take Harry's hand, but the brunet yanked his hand free and took a step back, effectively pinning himself against the wall. The blond stepped even closer until they were merely inches apart. Draco's lashes fluttered and he sighed at the feel of Harry's alcohol scented breath brushing softly against his face. "It's been far too long since we've seen each other." He raised an eyebrow and smirked down at him. "We should fuck."

Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah…that's not going to happen."

He leaned in until his lips were closer to the others ear. "Come on, Harry. Fucking is what we're good at, or don't you remember all those times I was buried to the hilt inside of you?" His hands roamed over a hard chest and up to caress Harry's jaw and neck, stopping briefly at his throat to feel the racing of his pulse and the heat of his flushed skin. There was a faint trace of stubble on his face and he stroked it, loving the rough, prickling feeling against his fingertips. Harry had always been fairly clean shaven when they had been together in the past and he couldn't help wondering how it would feel scraping over his smooth chest, down his stomach and across his thighs. He bit back a moan as he pushed himself closer.

With a soft snort and a stern look, Harry pushed Draco's seeking hand from his face. "What do you _want,_ Draco?"

Silver eyes flashed dangerously and the blond growled as he took the man's chin in his hand, forcing him to hold eye contact. "I'll tell you what I want…_Harry_," he whispered, ghosting his lips over the other his cheek and mouth. "I want to go upstairs and tear your clothes off." He flicked his tongue quickly over Harry's bottom lip before continuing. "I want to touch you, lick you, suck you…I want to fuck you so hard that you can't walk properly for a week. I want to make you scream my name again and again and again until you're so hoarse that you can only speak in whispers." He sucked the brunet's lower lip into his mouth and bit down gently, holding back a smirk at the slight whimper that escaped and the darting tongue that pressed against his teeth, trying to gain entrance to his mouth. "_Fuck, _Harry…I miss being inside of you…I miss coming in you." He thrust his hips sharply against the trembling man in his arms and sighed at the lovely friction it created, though it wasn't nearly enough. "Let's go upstairs." He smiled to himself when he heard Harry's breathing hitch and felt eager hands clutching tightly at his shirt. He lowered his lips to his neck and sucked and licked a line from his shoulder up to his ear as he pushed his erection harder against him. "God…do you see what you do to me…how fucking _hard_ you make me? Can you feel how much I want you?" He continued to lick and suck at his ear and neck as he grabbed Harry's hand and guided it to his painfully hard cock. "No one else has ever made me this hard…only you, Harry."

Harry moaned softly and began to stroke him roughly through his jeans. He wrapped his free arm around the blond's neck and kissed him violently, his tongue plunging deep into his mouth, his lips sucking, his teeth biting.

"Yes," Draco mumbled around the kiss. This was what he wanted. This was what he _needed._ He thrust himself into Harry's hand as he reached down between them and frantically began to undo the brunet's pants.

Reality came crashing down on Draco as Harry suddenly pulled his hand away and placed it on his chest, pushing him back roughly. Harry's cheeks were flushed and his breaths came in hard, gasping pants, but he struggled and eventually managed to calm himself enough that he could finally speak. "You are aware that my parents were killed in a car crash, yeah?"

Draco blinked at him through lust fogged eyes and frowned, the words seemed jumbled and he tried desperately to make sense of them. "What?"

Harry just stared at him in silence, emerald eyes that only a moment ago had been darkened with lust now turning cold and hard. He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and just shook his head as he turned and walked down the hall, disappearing through the swinging door at the end.

Left alone to his thoughts, Draco silently cursed himself when Harry's unspoken words finally sank in. _See…you're a fucking idiot._ He sighed softly in defeat and followed him into the kitchen.

Harry was standing at the sink, staring blankly at the tea kettle on the stove and waiting for it to finish boiling.

"I'm sorry," Draco said softly as he wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly ashamed of his behavior in the hallway. "I shouldn't have said what I said on the phone and I shouldn't have driven, I know that now, hell I knew it _then_…but I can't change the fact that I did something stupid, so I'll just call a cab and go."

"Sit down."

Draco frowned at Harry's back, but didn't move a muscle.

With a heavy sigh, Harry's shoulders slumped forward and his hands tightened their hold on the edge of the countertop. "Just…please sit down, Draco."

Grey eyes drifted over to the surprisingly large table and he found himself looking longingly at a comfortable looking chair. After a few moments of silent deliberation, he moved on shaky legs and fell into the chair, his legs grateful for the rest.

Harry didn't say another word as he continued preparing their tea. After many long, tension filled minutes, he brought two cups and a plate of cookies to the table. He set the cookies and one of the cups in front of Draco before sitting down across from him. "You should eat something. It will soak up the alcohol."

Draco ignored his comment, or more accurately, he didn't even process that Harry was speaking. "I didn't know…about your parents, I mean," he whispered. He wrapped his hands around the mug, hoping the warmth would ease the chill in the room. His eyes wandered, looking at anything but Harry.

The obviously exhausted brunet shrugged. "How could you have? I never told you."

Draco glanced up at him, but immediately looked back down at his tea. "I know I push you too much. I keep telling myself that you'll tell me in your own time. And really, I'm alright with that. I don't know why I keep pushing."

The room fell into silence and Draco wrapped his free arm around his stomach, silently cursing himself and wracking his brain for a way out of this unbearably tense situation that he was well aware he had caused.

"You have no idea how tempting it was to let you just take me right there in the hallway," Harry's quiet voice came from across the table.

Draco bit his lip and looked up at him with cautiously hopeful eyes.

Harry was staring at a point on the wall, somewhere over Draco's shoulder. "But, despite what you seem to think, there was a perfectly valid reason for why I wanted us to talk on the phone. I really meant what I said about us getting to know each other better."

"Well," Draco said softly, his voice cracking and causing a blush to spread quickly over his pale cheeks. He cleared his throat. "I think we know each other well enough."

Harry just nodded, never once taking his eyes from whatever spot he stared at so intently.

Draco huffed softly and leaned over the table, trying to force eye contact. "Why won't you look at me?"

Harry shifted in his seat and finally looked down at his tea. He picked up the cup and drained it in two long swallows. "I don't want to cave in. Looking at you makes it hard to think straight and I need to be clear right now."

Draco slammed a hand down on the table, startling both himself and Harry, though he shook it off faster than his counterpart. "You need to be clear? _I_ haven't been clear for almost a year, Harry! You've done something to me and…and…I don't like it!"

Harry's mouth fell open as he finally looked at the angry blond across from him. "I haven't done anything to you."

Draco snorted bitterly and rubbed both hands over his face. "Jesus, Harry…you…you got under my skin or something. I don't know what you did, but…I was never this…messed up before. I've never been as nervous around another person as I am around you. I've never thought about anyone as much as I think about you and it's driving me insane! It's like…" He sighed and tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. "It's like you haunt me." He inwardly cringed at the emotion that he could hear in his own voice and prayed that Harry hadn't heard it as well.

Harry's mouth opened and closed, again and again as he struggled for something to say in response. "Draco…"

As the seconds ticked by, Draco found himself becoming embarrassed by the things he had let slip. He tried to wait patiently for Harry to continue, but when nothing else was said, his embarrassment turned to fury and he stood up quickly, pushing his chair back and sending it sliding back to thump heavily against the wall. "Why did you get to decide how we handled everything that happened anyway? Why were you allowed to push me away? Why do you _always_ get to make up all the bloody rules?"

Harry shook his head slowly and looked down at his hands which were folded so tightly together in his lap that his knuckles were white.

Draco stared down at the mop of messy black hair and hated that he knew how soft it was. He hated that he still wanted to touch it, run it through his fingers, bury his face in it and just hide from the world. He scowled down at the brunet, even though he wasn't facing him to see it. "None of it was fair. Being left in the dark…not knowing if you were alright or not…having to hear from Pansy and Hermione that you left the fucking country!" Adrenaline was pumping through him, clearing his clouded mind and causing his hands to shake with hurt and resentment. There was a small part of him that told him that if he kept going he was going to say something he didn't mean and would regret it in the morning, but mostly, he didn't care if he hurt Harry. Because Harry had hurt him.

"You have no idea what I was going through," Harry whispered, though there was a lack of conviction in his tone. "If you knew…if you had been me…you would have done the same thing."

"Bullshit! Stop playing the fucking martyr with me, Potter. You weren't the only one who lived through it. I took care of you after what he did! I was there. I witnessed the aftermath and if you think seeing you lying there broken and bruised didn't affect me than you're either blind or stupid."

Harry shifted in his seat and kept his eyes trained on his cup. "I never asked you to take care of me."

"You didn't have to ask. I did it because I wanted to. But do you have any idea how hard it was for me to look at the things he had done to you and try to keep a smile on my face and assure you that everything was going to be alright? He broke you, Harry, body and spirit, and it fucking killed me to witness it."

"If I was such a bloody nuisance, then why didn't you just leave me in the hospital and let me fend for myself?" Harry's voice had turned cold and sarcastic and his cheeks were flushed with color. "I don't want anyone's pity, certainly not yours, so if you didn't care, you should have –"

Draco saw red. "I ruined the best fucking relationship of my entire bloody life for you so don't you dare even _suggest_ that I don't fucking _care_!" Blood rushed in his ears and his heart thumped so violently in his chest that it caused him actual physical pain. His head was swimming from the roller coaster of emotions and the large quantities of alcohol he had consumed and all he could think about was that he couldn't remember ever being this angry.

Harry shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths before finally looking at him again. "Are you done yelling at me?"

Draco huffed in frustration and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "I'm not yelling at you, I'm only trying to make a point."

"Certainly sounds like yelling to me."

"Oh, come off it, Potter," Draco said, rolling his eyes dramatically. "We have to talk about this. You keep pushing me away and it's completely unfair and – "

"Unfair? How fair is it that you're standing in _my_ kitchen, _uninvited_, and reprimanding me for doing what I had to do to get my life back in order?"

"This isn't a reprimand; it's a reminder that you are not the only person who was hurt by everything that happened. So don't sit there spouting your sanctimonious garbage and expect me to fall at your feet and beg for forgiveness because I wasn't the one to leave you behind to figure it out alone!"

Harry stood and faced him, crossing his arms tightly over his chest in a defensive stance. "Nothing I did was done to make you feel that way."

"You fucking _abandoned_ me!"

Green eyes widened in surprise and a sharp intake of breath was the only sound that permeated the deafening silence that surrounded them. Harry opened his mouth as if to speak, but instead just swallowed heavily and averted his eyes.

Draco's own eyes grew wide at his unplanned accusation and he found himself quickly turning away, wondering how long he had been thinking of Harry's lack of contact as such a betrayal. He was slightly embarrassed that he had shown such weakness, but he couldn't ignore how much lighter he felt. Once his racing pulse had slowed and his ragged breathing had steadied, he turned around and glanced at Harry to see him still frozen in shock and staring at the worn wooden floor. Draco sighed softly and ran a shaking hand through his hair before finally dropping back into his chair, utterly exhausted.

Harry slowly sank into the chair across from him and raised his head to stare at him, dumbfounded.

"You keep pushing that you want us to get to know each other better," Draco said softly, his throat raw and scratchy from yelling and drinking. "And I…I just want to be near you."

Harry slouched in his chair and let out a harsh breath.

"Say something," Draco begged when the silence had gone on for longer than he could stand.

"Like what?"

He shrugged and looked down at his still trembling hands. "Tell me that you don't hate me."

Harry immediately sat up and reached across the table, taking one of Draco's shaking, clammy hands in his. "Of course I don't hate you. I could _never_ hate you."

The blond swallowed the thick lump that was threatening to choke him and clutched at Harry's hand, watching as their fingers instinctively wound together. He couldn't bring himself to look into those eyes again, so he just stared at their hands and studied the contrast of their skin tones. "I'm not used to caring so much. Even when I was with Cedric, I never worried so much about what I said or did… about how he was going to take things…if he was going to cut me out of his life forever."

"I wouldn't do that," Harry insisted.

"You already tried once."

Harry's grip on his hand tightened, but he said nothing.

"Sometimes I wonder if…if Sirius hadn't died, would you have ever spoken to me again?"

"Of course I would have," Harry insisted, his grip becoming almost painful. "It was never my intention to _not_ talk to you, it just…happened."

Draco snorted in disbelief. "Sure."

"Really." Harry never released his hand as he stood and quickly moved to the seat beside him. He placed a hand on Draco's knee and brought their joined hands to his chest to rest over his pounding heart. "At first, I just needed a break from anyone and anything that reminded me of Oliver. After a week, I was missing you so terribly that I think it only added to my grief. But by then, Sirius was already making plans for our trip and I told myself that it would be best if I didn't see you before I left."

"Best for you maybe," Draco said softly. "But what about me, Harry?"

Harry gave him a small, sad smile and rubbed his thumb softly over the blond's knuckles. "God, Draco… I'm so sorry that I hurt you. But my leaving wasn't about you." He reached out and gently pushed a few fallen locks out of sad silver grey eyes and let his fingertips gently graze his cheek before eventually, and reluctantly, pulling away. "I had to be selfish for awhile. And it helped in the long run."

Draco took a deep breath and finally looked up at him. "You don't trust me."

Harry's brow furrowed as he sat back, though his hold on Draco's hand never faltered. "Of course I trust you. What does this have to do with trust?"

"You won't let me near you. You are always the one to phone me. You don't seem to want to be seen with me in public and you won't give me a chance to prove that…that we could be really happy together."

For the second time that evening, Harry's eyes widened in shock. "I wasn't aware you wanted a chance to prove we could be happy together. You never said anything."

_Shit…you're saying too much. Tone it down before you scare him off. _Draco pulled his hand away as he stood and began pacing the length of the table. "I'm just saying… You get to call the shots. I have no say." He avoided Harry's gaze, not liking the way his eyes seemed to see right through him.

"Draco…are you…" Harry lightly cleared his throat. "Do you want to…_date_ me?"

The blond forced a strained laugh as a strange sense of panic seized him and caused his chest and stomach to tighten in either fear or excitement, he wasn't sure which. Maybe it was a bit of both. "I didn't say that," he said with a soft shake of his head.

"Oh."

_Oh for fucks sake! Just tell him the fucking truth already! _He gathered up all his courage and forced himself to stop pacing. He looked down at Harry – who was staring at the wall again, his lower lip wedged tightly between his teeth – and took a deep breath. "But…what if I _did_ say that?"

A light blush covered Harry's cheeks as he looked at Draco, then away. "I don't know," he whispered. "Maybe someday, but…" He shook his head and looked down at his hands.

Draco's face fell and he sat back down, slouching into his seat. "Why not?"

Harry shrugged. "What do I know about dating, really? My experiences haven't all been good ones."

"That's no reason not to try," Draco said softly.

Harry looked up at him. "I can't, Draco. I'm too scared."

"What if I talk to you more? What if I promise to tell you anything that you want to know? We can go as slowly as you want to, Harry. I won't rush you and I swear I won't push anymore." He hadn't realized how badly he wanted this until Harry made him say it out loud. But now that he had voiced it, he could finally admit to himself that he wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything in the world.

Harry looked thoughtfully at him for a moment as he chewed on his bottom lip. "Do you really think that we could make it work? We fight more than anything and you have a hard time opening up with me. I'm afraid we'll ruin what we have and at least right now we have _something_."

"I'm afraid too," Draco said softly. "I'm afraid that if you get to know me better…you won't like me anymore." He let his tired eyes close and took a deep breath as he awaited a response.

The room was perfectly still and silent. Draco couldn't even make out Harry's breathing and his heart clenched painfully in his chest at the implications of that silence.

His mind raced, trying to come up with some plausible way to take back what he had just said, to pass it off as a joke or as a drunken misunderstanding. He couldn't deny that he wanted Harry, but he couldn't handle another rejection like Blaise or to have his heart shattered again like it did the night Cedric had come home from Japan. He wanted to leave and before he realized what he was doing, he was standing and swiftly making his way out of the kitchen and back towards the front hall.

A very unmanly squeak, which he would later deny adamantly, escaped his lips as he was grabbed from behind. An arm was around his waist and he was being tugged back against Harry's body, which he could feel trembling from head to toe. Shaggy hair tickled his neck and hot breath was heating his already too warm skin, but he stood still and let himself be held as he waited to see what the brunet would do or say.

"Don't leave," Harry softly begged him. "I couldn't stand it if you walked out on me right now. We're both always walking away and it never gets us anywhere." His other arm came around Draco's middle and he held him tightly as he buried his face deeper into his neck.

Draco felt himself deflate as Harry's words washed over him, soothing his frazzled nerves. Without dislodging Harry's arms, he turned himself around and wrapped both arms around his neck. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered as he nuzzled the hair behind Harry's ear.

Harry sighed and relaxed against him.

For many long moments, they just stood in the kitchen and held each other. It occurred to Draco that they had never really done that before and he found that he liked the closeness of it. The smell of Harry and feel of his chest rising and falling with each soft breath seemed so natural to him that he could easily envision a world where this was an everyday occurrence.

The closest they had ever come to this was that first Christmas Eve well over a year ago when Harry had asked him if he loved him. Draco closed his eyes as he remembered and held Harry even closer.

"I don't think we should talk about this anymore tonight," Harry said as he ran his hands slowly up then back down Draco's back. "We've both had too much to drink and I don't know about you, but I could fall asleep just standing here if I let myself."

Draco laughed softly, for he understood exactly what Harry was saying. "I'm quite tired myself," he said as he finally pulled his head back. He looked down at the brunet and smiled. "Mind if I crash on your couch?"

"Or you could sleep in my room with me," Harry suggested with a shy smile and a blush. He looked away for a moment before taking a step back. He held out a hand. "We've never just slept together before."

Draco nodded and took his hand, knowing that even though he would normally be concerned about not being able to control himself while lying half naked in a bed with Harry, his libido would not be a problem tonight. He took Harry's hand and let him lead him upstairs where they undressed and climbed into the giant, curtained bed together. Harry wrapped his arms around him from behind and gently kissed the back of his head.

"I can't imagine anything you could do or say that would make me not like you," the brunet whispered against his ear. "I adore you, Draco, and…" He sighed softly and fell silent.

"And…?" Draco whispered back, his heart pounding as he waited for Harry to continue.

"And…I just…I like this. You in my arms. It's…nice and I'm really happy that you're here." He ducked his head into Draco's shoulder and inhaled deeply before placing a soft kiss there.

Draco sighed in contentment as he fell quickly into sleep.

*.*.*.*

When he awoke, he was alone. His mind immediately wandered back to that day over two years earlier when he had woken alone after his first night spent with Harry. He shook off the familiar feeling of despair and sat up, looking around and trying to get his bearings.

He could hear the melodic patter of heavy rain against the window and the sky outside was beginning to lighten as dawn approached, though the storm clouds kept the day looking dreary and miserable.

He pulled on his jeans and t-shirt and made his way to the attached bathroom where he quickly relieved himself. He smiled when he found a new toothbrush and a washcloth sitting on the counter and after a few minutes spent cleaning up, headed downstairs feeling much better about the day to come.

But Harry wasn't in the kitchen, which was where Draco had expected to find him. He wandered slowly through every room on the main floor and when he found no trace of Harry, he headed back upstairs.

On his way back to Harry's room, he noticed a soft light glowing at the end of the hall and could hear the sound of running water, which had initially been masked by the steady rains outside the window. He made his way towards the light and stepped into a dimly lit bathroom decorated in green glass tiles and black marble counters and floors. His eyes were immediately drawn to an enormous shower set so deep into the wall that no divider or curtain was necessary. Draco licked his lips and inhaled sharply, thankful for the lack of barrier between his no longer sleepy eyes and the sight that he was sure would be permanently etched into his memory until the day he died.

Harry was standing under the dual showerheads, his silky black hair plastered to his forehead and neck, drops of water clinging to his long lashes and his chin tucked against his chest. The slight muscles in his left arm bulged as he supported himself against the tile, his fingertips pressed tightly as if trying to grip the glass to keep himself steady.

Draco bit his lip to hold in a whimper as his eyes followed Harry's right arm down to where his hand was wrapped tightly around his cock, pumping furiously, his breaths coming in harsh pants and gasps with the occasional quiet moan interlaced. The sight of a naked, wet Harry was almost enough to undo him, but the sight of a naked, wet and _hard_ Harry _was_ enough to have him tearing at his own clothes in a race to get undressed so he could join him.

"Oh, fuck," Harry whispered as his hand squeezed tighter and slid faster over slick skin. "Oh, God… _Draco_."

At the breathless sound of his name, a raging fire swept through Draco's body, leaving him impossibly hard. He abandoned the need to continue undressing and hastily threw his shirt over his shoulder. He stepped directly into the shower, his jeans soaking through immediately and clinging to every inch of him as he moved towards the desperate, naked man in front of him. His fingers were itching with the need to touch him and his stomach gave a painful lurch at the sight of the muscles in Harry's back trembling and twitching as he stroked himself and continued to whisper his name.

Harry gasped softly and threw his head back as he let out a low moan. "Yes," he groaned, his hips now moving along with his hand. "Yes…Draco…_please_…"

The soft begging stripped away the last of his control and Draco suddenly found himself pressing his chest against Harry's back. He quickly slid one arm around Harry's waist to pull him closer and to help support him, while at the same time, his right hand tightly gripped Harry's wrist, stilling its frantic movements.

Harry let out a startled cry when he was grabbed, but immediately began pushing back against Draco's jean covered erection, grinding his ass urgently against him as the volume of his moans only increased.

Draco brought Harry's right hand up and pressed it against the wall beside the left. "Keep them there until I say you can move them, understand?" He nipped sharply at the brunet's earlobe before moving his mouth to his neck where he left messy, open mouthed kisses against the burning skin.

Harry gave a jerky nod as a shudder wracked his frame. "F-fine…just touch me, will you?"

Draco growled softly at the needy sound of Harry's voice and slid both hands up the smaller man's wet torso until he located his hard nipples. "I wasn't pleased when I awoke to find you gone." One hand pinched harshly while the other stroked softly, teasingly, the contrasting sensations causing Harry to groan and grunt as he writhed against him.

"Woke up so hard," Harry murmured. "Dreamt 'bout you." Another sharp pinch and he threw his head back against Draco's shoulder and let out a deep, throaty moan.

"You should have woken me," Draco whispered as he flicked his nail lightly over a nipple before pinching it again.

"No," Harry said softly, his body still writhing against the taller man. "Wanted to prove…" He hissed sharply as Draco bit down hard on his shoulder. "…I could resist you."

"I don't see you doing much resisting right now."

"Don't want to resist anymore." Harry turned his head and ran his tongue over the curve of Draco's jaw line. "Please…stop teasing."

Draco turned his head to capture Harry's lips in a deep, passionate kiss. He tugged at the brunet's lower lip with his teeth then swiped his tongue upward to run underneath his upper lip.

Harry whined softly and turned his face away. "Need to come, Draco…please touch me."

"But I am touching you," Draco whispered against his ear, his lips tracing the shell while his fingers continued their slow torture. He let his thumbs brush softly against his abused nipples and smirked when a stuttering breath caught in his lover's throat. "So sensitive." He repeated the action and ground his hips harder against the firm arse that was pressed against him.

"My cock," Harry begged him. "Touch my cock."

"Not yet."

Harry let out a frustrated groan and removed his right hand from the wall.

"No," Draco said firmly. He grabbed Harry's hand and forced it back to the wall. "What did I just say?"

Harry exhaled harshly. "I was doing just fine 'til you got here. Why do you have to torture me?"

"I can leave if you want…let you finish this alone?"

Harry let out an involuntary whimper and shook his head. "No." He said it so softly that it was almost swallowed up by the sound of the rushing water that surrounded them.

"Good." Draco slid his hands back down Harry's chest to his stomach, reveling in the feel of the muscles as they tightened and released under his touch, loving the fact that it was his hands that caused such a reaction. He dragged his nails gently over Harry's firm abdomen, leaving light pink scratches from his naval to his narrow hips which he gripped tightly, guiding the smaller man's movements as he continued to push back and rub against him. The friction caused by Harry's tight arse and the coarse material of his wet jeans was almost too much, so he forced Harry to still his movements and took a step back so he could breathe.

"Damn it, Draco," Harry groaned as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to the tiled wall.

Draco hummed softly and he watched Harry's wet body flex as it settled into place. "Don't move," he ordered as he hastily began loosening his belt. He tossed it aside and cursed softly as he struggled with the wet button and zipper, letting out a soft cry of triumph when he finally managed to free his painful erection. He gave himself a few firm strokes, enough to ease the frustration of his arousal. "I want to fuck you," he said as he moved closer to Harry's trembling body and ran his hand from the back of the brunet's neck all the way down his arched spine and to his arse. "Jesus, Harry…you have no idea how fucking beautiful you are, do you?"

Harry moaned softly, his body curving to press tighter into Draco's hand as it moved. "I've wanted you since last night. Please, Draco…I'm not going to last long."

"Well, in that case, we'll save the fucking for later."

Harry let out a sigh of disappointment. "Draco…"

"What else do you want, Harry? What do you want me to do to you?"

"I don't bloody well care as long as you make me come!"

Draco chuckled softly. "Testy." He brushed his hand over Harry's tense shoulder. "Do you want me to use my hands…or my mouth?" He leaned in and ran his tongue teasingly over the back of Harry's neck.

Harry shivered and tilted his head forward to give Draco even better access to his skin. "Either… both…I don't care."

"I'd like to taste you," Draco said softly.

"Then taste me."

"Tell me to suck your cock."

Harry groaned, his hands on the wall clenching into tight fists.

"Turn around and tell me to suck your cock, Harry."

Harry took a deep breath before finally turning around, his lust darkened gaze settling on Draco's face. His emerald eyes ran down Draco's pale, half naked body, lingering on his exposed erection and the wet jeans that still clung to his hips. His lip twitched slightly as he looked up to meet stormy silver. "Suck my cock," he said softly. He leaned back against the wall, angling his hips out, offering himself to the blond.

Draco smiled a wicked smile and dropped to his knees in front of him. "I thought you'd never ask." He gripped the base in his hand and wrapped his lips around the tip, swiping his tongue over the head and moaning softly at the taste of Harry's precum. He let his eyes fall shut and he sucked harder.

"Jesus Christ," Harry groaned as he bucked his hips, forcing himself deeper into Draco's mouth. "I love your mouth."

"Hmm," Draco hummed softly. He took him in deeper until he could feel the thick head pressing against the back of his throat. He swallowed once and slid back slowly until only the very tip was surrounded by his lips.

Harry grunted and slid his fingers into Draco's hair, gripping tightly and guiding his head to move faster.

It surprised him every time he allowed Harry to control him like this. It was something he had never allowed anyone else to do, not even Cedric, but as Harry continued to fuck his mouth, Draco felt himself growing even harder. So he allowed Harry to guide him and just went with it. He pressed his tongue tightly to the underside of his straining cock, tracing the thick vein and licking lightly at the leaking slit, causing Harry to let out a long, deep sigh of pleasure.

"I'm so close," Harry whispered.

Draco slid his free hand up one of Harry's trembling thighs and guided his legs further apart, giving him easier access to the parts of his body he was most eager to touch. He lightly traced Harry's opening with a water slicked finger and when he heard a quiet gasp, pushed his finger inside slowly and at the same time began to suck again, hoping to distract from the slight sharp sting that he knew the brunet was feeling.

Harry was panting heavily and mumbling incoherently as he spread his legs even further and ground himself down against the finger inside of him. His hold on Draco's hair loosened and one hand let go completely to brace against the wall and keep him from falling over.

Draco felt the increased shaking in Harry's legs and heard the frantic pace of his breathing and sucked harder, his tongue circling the head before he took him deeper and into his throat. He quickly added a second finger and then a third and began searching for that magical spot that he knew would send Harry over the edge. After three quick jabs, he found it, if Harry's loud moan and wildly bucking hips were any indication. Draco swallowed repeatedly, letting the muscles of his throat massage the head and he knew it wouldn't be long now. He pumped his fingers faster and harder, again and again.

"Oh, my God." Harry's thin frame shuddered almost violently and he pressed himself back against the wall. He gripped Draco's shoulders to help support himself as he gasped for breath. "_Draco_…"

Draco pulled his fingers free from Harry's tensing body and wrapped a hand tightly around the base of his cock, holding off his orgasm.

"You fucking bastard!" Harry cried as he tried to thrust himself into his hand.

Draco laughed softly and scrambled up onto his feet. He kissed Harry deeply, hoping to distract him from his irritation. "I don't want you to come until I'm inside of you," he said against his lips. "Now turn around."

Harry didn't hesitate in obeying. He turned his back and leaned over as much as he could, bracing his forearms against the tile and pressing his forehead into them. "There's lube on the shelf."

Draco gave him a curious look before turning to the shelf on the wall to his left and easily locating the item for which he was searching. He grabbed the surprisingly expensive bottle of lube and poured a liberal amount into his palm. The scent of vanilla invaded his senses and his erection throbbed in response. He set the bottle on the floor, slicked his cock with a couple quick strokes and stepped forward, placing a hand on Harry's tense back. "Lean over a bit more."

Harry repositioned himself and gasped loudly as Draco grabbed him by the hips and began to push into him with no warning.

Draco squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, trying his hardest not to come at the first feeling of tight heat gripping him almost painfully. Only half way in, he stilled his hips and pressed his nose into Harry's silky, citrus scented curls. "Don't…move," he whispered softly.

He had thought he had perfect control, but he had always underestimated his body's response to the man beneath him. He struggled to regain that lost control and momentarily feared his fight would end in embarrassment and disappointment, but finally, Harry's body began to loosen around him and he could feel the sharp edge of orgasm receding. He could breathe again.

Harry squirmed against him, soft moans and heavy breaths muffled by the arms he buried his face in.

Once again in control, Draco leaned over to suck softly at the nape of Harry's neck as he slowly, so very slowly pulled his hips back and then pushed forward again. His breath caught at the brilliant sensation of being caressed by Harry's body and he had to hold tighter to the brunet's hips to keep himself from slamming forward and accidentally hurting him.

Harry let out a soft sigh and pressed back eagerly. "Come on," he muttered softly. "Draco…_move_."

He kept his thrusts slow and deep, leaning back to watch himself disappear again and again into the body that fit him like a second skin. He ran his hands over the quivering muscles of Harry's back, noticing for the first time that, unlike most of their previous encounters, no bruises marred his flesh. A sharp stab of remembered anger and grief gripped him and he pressed his chest to that back and placed gentle, loving kisses on the neck exposed to him and he moved his hips faster, determined that his lover would never again know the pains and agonies of mistreatment. "You're beautiful," he mumbled against wet skin. "You're so beautiful…so…_perfect_."

"Draco," Harry moaned. He turned his head to kiss him, placing his palms flat against the wall to help steady him so he could press back harder.

Draco kissed him slowly and ran his fingers up Harry's arms and covered his hands with his own. He slid his long, pale fingers between shorter, darker ones and gripped tightly.

Harry's grip was just as tight and he kissed Draco harder, sliding his tongue deeper into his mouth, tasting every inch of teeth and lips and tongue that he could reach.

This wasn't what he had planned when he had so hurriedly undressed. All he had wanted was a quick, hard fuck and a release for the frustrations and desires that had plagued him through the night. But this was a thousand times better than the unfeeling, frantic tumble that his imagination had supplied for him when he had first witnessed Harry wanking and whispering his name only fifteen minutes earlier.

Harry finally released his mouth and looked up at him with heavily lidded, piercing eyes. It was a look that Draco didn't fully understand and part of him wanted to ask what it meant, but as fast as the look had come, it was gone again. Harry turned his head away and let it droop forward so his chin rested on his chest.

Draco groaned as he felt Harry squeeze around him and he stilled for a moment, enjoying the feeling for as long as he could.

"No," Harry whined softly. "Keep going…please…_please_ don't stop!"

Draco began thrusting in earnest, rewarded by murmured curses and quiet moans and sharp cries and gasps. His hips seemed to have suddenly developed a mind of their own. He released one of Harry's hands and pulled him tighter against him so that he was almost standing upright. He moaned at the clamping of muscles around his cock as the smaller body shifted and relaxed against his chest. This was pure heaven. Warm water continued to cascade down on them, increasing the slickness of their bodies as they moved together, amplifying the sounds of their skin smacking together, plastering their hair and Draco's jeans to their bodies. _I want this…forever. I want him…if he'll have me._

Underneath Draco's strong grip, Harry's hand clenched tightly and a soft tumble of indistinguishable words poured from his mouth between desperate panting breaths.

Draco could feel the tightening in his belly, the tingling in the soles of his feet, the slow, steady burn in his veins and it gave him more pleasure than he had ever known when he realized that Harry must be feeling the exact same thing. _I did this. I made him feel this way._ He turned his head and flicked his tongue against the brunet's throat, then his ear, then the corner of his mouth. He nibbled softly on the lobe of his ear and the skin that stretched so beautifully over his shoulders and neck.

"Draco…" Harry whispered. He let out a soft sobbing sound as his body momentarily froze. Then he jerked, again and again, his come splattering over the wall in front of them in long, powerful spurts. Even after he had been milked dry, he continued to writhe and whimper as his overly sensitive body did it's best to help Draco along.

Draco let out a long, throaty moan as Harry's muscles contracted around him, an intense pressure that seemed to suck the very air from his lungs. The suffocating grip eased until only a soft fluttering remained and he let that softness carry him over. He clenched his teeth tightly and buried his face in Harry's neck and cried out his completion, surprising himself with the desperate, longing sounds that escaped his mouth. It was intensely powerful and felt as if it had gone on for minutes instead of mere seconds and when he finally became still again, he was reluctant to move in fear that his leg muscles might give out and leave him on the floor in a boneless heap.

He finally raised his head and looked down at Harry. He had pressed himself against the wall, his cheek resting against their entwined fingers as he breathed deeply through his nose, trying to calm himself. His body shook and Draco knew that the only thing keeping him on his feet was the hard wall and the arm that was still wrapped securely around his waist.

"You alright?" he asked as he leaned in to place a gentle kiss on his shoulder.

Harry chuckled softly, but managed a short nod. "You?"

Draco pressed his forehead to the back of Harry's still trembling shoulder. "Fantastic."

Harry laughed again.

"Think you can walk?"

Harry shifted slightly and snorted. "Maybe if you get off me."

Draco smirked, then carefully slipped out of him and took a step back on shaky legs. He watched as Harry turned himself around and leaned heavily back against the wall.

His smirk turned into a full fledged smile when he saw the satisfied look on his lovers face. He stepped forward and took that face into his hands and kissed him deeply.

Harry rested his hands over Draco's and sighed against his lips. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"I know," Draco whispered, his lips still brushing lightly over Harry's.

"We were supposed to talk…get to know each other better."

"What did you expect me to do when I walked in here and saw you like that?" Draco kissed his neck and nuzzled the hair behind his ear. "You smell good."

Harry ran his hands over Draco's shoulders and down his back. "I dreamt about you and when I woke up I was so bloody hard that I felt like I was going to burst." He sighed softly as Draco's warm breath brushed over his ear. "I was just going to wank right there next to you, but after only a minute I knew that I wouldn't last another second without attacking you, so I came in here."

"You left the door open." Draco bit down on his earlobe then soothed the sting with a swipe of his tongue.

Harry tilted his head back. "I was in a bit of a rush."

Draco snickered as he looked up into Harry's eyes. "Let's go back to bed and have another go and I promise we'll talk when we wake up from our nap."

"Nap? We just got up, Draco." Harry moaned softly as long, pale fingers traced slow circles around his still sensitive nipples.

"Oh, you're definitely going to need a nap when I'm through with you." Draco smiled a bright smile as he stood up straight and grabbed Harry's wrist, pulling him away from the wall. He turned the taps off and motioned with his head for the brunet to follow him.

"I don't recall agreeing to your terms," Harry half-heartedly protested as he let Draco guide him down the hall and to the bedroom.

Draco pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his waist. He wrapped his fingers around Harry's already reawakening erection and smiled at the soft moan he heard. "Sure…keep telling yourself that, Harry."

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Mmmm…there's nothing sexier (in my mind, anyway) than Draco Malfoy in wet jeans…tasty! Hope you enjoyed!_


	17. Chapter 17

_AN: Super short chapter…sorry everyone. We're coming into the home stretch now, so there are only a few chapters left. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed and to those who favorited this story. Your feedback has been amazing and you all have made my day every day for the last two weeks. Thank you for so much for taking the time to read._

_And…on with the story…_

Chapter Seventeen

- May 8th -

When he finally woke again, it was to a faint thumping in his temples and numerous aches and pains throughout his entire body. He groaned softly and rolled onto his side where he froze as he felt a cool hand gently stroking at his sweaty, sleep matted hair.

"Don't touch me, I'm gross," he muttered, turning his face into a pillow.

Harry chuckled and carded his fingers through tangles of damp blond. "You are the complete opposite of gross and you know it," he reassured him in a quiet voice. "Come on now, it's time to get up. It's already well past noon and I made you some tea."

"My whole body hurts." Draco breathed in deeply, the faint scent of Harry that lingered on the pillows doing more to ease the aches in his tired body than anything else he could think of.

"Here." Harry gently caressed the back of his neck. "Sit up and take these."

Draco sighed and forced himself to turn over and look up at his lover. He couldn't help the smile that blossomed on his face as he took in Harry's groggy, disheveled appearance. Thick black hair, which was messy on the best of days, was sticking straight up on the left, yet was matted flat against his head on the right, the result of falling asleep with still wet hair. Vibrant green eyes sparkled with unbridled happiness despite the tired redness and slight shadow of too little sleep that surrounded them. He was wearing a wrinkled pair of green and white striped pajama bottoms that hung low on his narrow hips and Draco's appreciative gaze immediately focused on the dark line of hair that trailed down his stomach.

Harry was completely oblivious to Draco's wandering eyes as he sat down beside him and gently nudged him. "Sit up." He held out a hand which held three small white tablets.

With a great, heaving sigh, Draco finally pushed himself up into a sitting position and took the proffered pills. "Thank you," he said softly before tossing them into his mouth and taking the glass of water that was suddenly held in front of his face. He drank down the entire glass then promptly threw himself down onto his back and sighed again as he sank deep into overstuffed pillows.

Harry stretched out beside him and propped himself up on an elbow. He brushed the hair from where it clung to Draco's forehead then leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Good morning," he whispered as his lips trailed down to his cheek.

"Hm," Draco hummed. He let his eyes fall shut and turned his face to meet Harry's lips in a soft, lingering kiss. "Morning." He sighed in contentment as Harry's fingers wandered aimlessly over his chest and stomach, his arms and his neck, leaving a trail of goose bumps as they roamed.

"Are you feeling sick?" Harry asked him. He leaned over and kissed Draco's shoulder then rubbed his nose against his sleep warmed skin.

"No, not sick," Draco said. "Just tired and sore."

"Hm." Harry kissed his cheek again. "Too much drinking, yelling and fucking?"

Draco laughed and reached out blindly, trying to locate Harry's hand. He had to open his eyes to find it, but as soon as he felt those cool, calloused fingers against his, his silver eyes fell shut again and he snuggled closer to the brunet. "Something like that," he agreed.

Harry laughed softly. He wrapped his arms around Draco's shoulders and they lay there together in silence for quite a while, just enjoying each others presence.

Draco shifted restlessly until he found a comfortable spot with his head on Harry's chest. He felt himself being lulled to sleep by the strong, steady beat of his lover's heart, but jerked awake when Harry suddenly spoke.

"What's your earliest memory?"

The blond raised his weary head to look at him. Harry was chewing on his lower lip and gazing back at him hesitantly, looking as if he regretted voicing his question. Draco gave him a reassuring smile and reached out his hand, brushing his thumb lightly over the reddened skin of his mouth, nudging the teeth away before they could do any further damage. "I was probably about four," he finally answered. He traced slow circles over the smaller man's abdomen, hoping to sooth away the sudden tension in his body. "I had had a bad dream and snuck into my parent's room. My mother woke before I even touched her and gently hushed me, and then she picked me up and took me downstairs to her sitting room. She just held me in her arms and we stared out the window at the rain and she sang to me."

Harry took in a shaky breath. "What did she sing?"

"I don't really remember. It's all a bit fuzzy, you know?"

Harry gave no response, but his fingers clenched around Draco's. "I don't remember my mother."

A dull, sympathetic ache throbbed in Draco's chest as he looked up into brilliant green eyes. He swallowed heavily and brought Harry's hand to his mouth. "I'm sorry, love." He brushed his lips over his knuckles before turning the hand in his and placing a soft kiss on his wrist. "What _do_ you remember? What's your first memory?"

Harry was silent for a long time, his eyes watching Draco's mouth as it continued to glide over his skin. "I was twelve the first time I can remember being hugged," he eventually told him, his voice hardly louder than a whisper. "When I met Ron, we were only eleven and neither of us had many friends. We sat next to each other in class and we just clicked. One day he asked if I wanted to come over that weekend. No one had ever asked me to come over before and I wanted to go so badly that I immediately agreed, not even considering what my aunt and uncle would say about it."

Draco draped his arm across Harry's middle and rested his head on his shoulder. "Go on," he gently prodded, knowing that Harry needed to get this off his chest.

"I…" Harry took a deep breath and held it for a moment before releasing it slowly. "I knew they would say no, because they always said no to anything that would make me happy." He frowned for a moment until Draco's hand once again rose and stroked at the tight line of his lips. He kissed the blond's fingers and sighed softly. "I didn't tell them about the invite. I got directions and an address from Ron and decided that I would wake up really early on Saturday morning and walk over there myself. It was about twelve miles away, but I was determined that I could do it."

"Ron didn't let you walk all that way alone, did he?" Draco asked, surprise and a bit of anger lacing his tone.

Harry quickly shook his head. "No. No, he didn't know. I told him that my uncle had somewhere important to be and that he had dropped me off at the end of their drive. I got there a bit after ten that morning. I left my house a little before seven. I was dead tired by the time I got there, but I was so happy to be with a friend, with someone who actually _liked_ me, that I didn't let it show." He breathed deeply again, then turned his face into Draco's hair. "Then I met the Weasleys."

Draco pulled Harry closer and kissed his forehead. "And…?"

"And…they just…they _loved _each other so fucking much. I hadn't expected that. I mean…I didn't really know that families were supposed to love each other like that…that they were supposed to be _happy_ just spending time together. I'm sure you can imagine my confusion."

_Not at all, actually. And I'm so sorry for that._

"I was always told that I was a burden and a troublesome child and how I would be lucky if anyone ever loved me, because _they_ certainly didn't." Harry's voice was dripping with bitterness, his agitation apparent by the tension in his body and the grinding of his teeth.

Draco saw red. He breathed heavily through his nose as he tried to keep himself in check so Harry could finish his story.

Harry didn't seem to notice Draco's silent distress. "But…the Weasleys were..." He shrugged and his hand clenched against a pale shoulder. "When I was leaving, his mum just wrapped me up in her arms and I wasn't sure what to do. I felt suffocated and protected and warm and dizzy and I had never felt anything like it before and…"

Draco squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his hand lightly over Harry's chest, hoping it would calm him.

Harry's hand clenched and unclenched at his side before he recognized what he was doing and brought it to rest on his chest, close to Draco's hand. "God…I cried so hard when I got home. I just didn't know what to do with all the feelings they made me feel. It was like…before that day, I could ignore the fact that nobody loved me because I couldn't remember it being any other way. I just didn't understand how I could suddenly miss something that until that day I had been unaware of, you know?"

Unsure of what to say, or even if he should speak at all, Draco just held him closer and scooted himself up enough that he could press his face into Harry's neck. He kissed him lightly then settled into place.

"I continued to visit him every Saturday for a couple of months. I would leave the house early in the morning and it would take me what felt like forever to walk over there, but I don't think I can put into words how much it was worth it. Anything was better than being in that bloody house with my so called family. And as long as I got my chores done, they didn't care what I did. One night I didn't even get home until one in the morning and they never even noticed that I was missing. I was only twelve years old and they had no idea that I was gone all night." He fell silent and the nervous fingers that had been tracing abstract patterns on Draco's back suddenly dropped away. "They had locked up the house and gone to bed without even checking my room first." He snorted and it was a harsh, bitter sound. "Or maybe they did check and just didn't care," he whispered. "I spent the night on the front porch. Thank God it was only early fall and it didn't get too cold out. I hid in the bushes when I saw the lights come on inside and when my uncle came out to get the paper, I just snuck right inside and they never knew."

They were both silent for a few moments and Draco was beginning to think that Harry had fallen asleep. He cleared his throat softly and turned his face to nuzzle against his shoulder.

The actions seemed to jolt Harry back to awareness and he continued his story. "I figured since they didn't notice that I had been missing for an entire night that I would just stay over the following weekend. I started spending every Saturday at Ron's. I would wake up at four in the morning to walk home and as long as I was back at the house before they woke up for breakfast, everything was fine. That continued for about two months."

"They caught you?" Draco whispered after the silent tension had gone on too long.

Harry nodded and turned his face into Draco's hair. "That was the first time my uncle hit me. I had slept in until almost seven so it was well after nine by time I got home and that was with running half the way. He had never hit me before, besides the usual cuff to the back of the head, so when it happened, I was…I don't know. I guess I was terrified. He didn't mark me or beat me or anything. He just gave me a couple of hard slaps across the face, just enough to split my lip and make my nose bleed. Then he dragged me up the stairs by my hair and shoved me to the floor in my room. I…" He turned his head away to look out at the grey, dreary sky. "For some reason it doesn't sound as bad when I say it out loud as it seems in my head."

Draco licked his too dry lips and cleared his throat. "Abuse is abuse, Harry. And you were just a little kid. You didn't deserve that."

"It wasn't really abuse," Harry protested weakly. "It was mostly just neglect."

Draco clenched his teeth against his mounting anger. _How dare he defend those that hurt him so badly?_ "Did he ever hit you again?"

Harry hesitated before nodding. "I had just turned fourteen and he found a…_magazine_…I had stolen it from a store when I first realized that I liked boys." He blushed heavily as he continued to stare out the window. "He slapped me and called me a deviant and a faggot." He swallowed convulsively and took a deep, shaky breath. "He said that he couldn't believe that he had allowed his wife to talk him into taking in such a freak as me. Said he was afraid for me to be around my cousin and that I couldn't be trusted to have access to their rooms at night in fear of what I might do to them. He put locks on my bedroom door. I spent the rest of that summer locked in my room. They let me out for an hour in the morning to do my chores and a few times a day to use the bathroom. Sometimes they forgot to feed me." He flinched when Draco's hold on him became a bit too tight. "But it wasn't all that bad being left alone. Dudley couldn't torment me when I was in there and I didn't have to listen to my aunt yell. I mostly just sat in my room and daydreamed about the places I would go when I was finally free and how I would never talk to them again or have to see them."

Draco's aching heart pounded an erratic rhythm in his chest. He didn't think it was really helping, but he couldn't keep his hands from touching Harry. They stroked his chest and his neck and his cheek… anywhere they could reach as they instinctively tried to comfort him and make him forget all the hurtful things he had experienced. He hated the dead sound of Harry's voice and the vacant look in his eyes and the way he seemed to tense when Draco's hands roamed over his body, but he couldn't bring himself to just lay there and do nothing.

"Luckily, Sirius found me not too long after." Harry gently, yet insistently nudged at Draco until he could slide out from underneath him. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and reached for the cigarettes on the nightstand.

Draco tried to ignore the flash of hurt that soared through him when Harry pulled away. He wrapped his naked body in the thin sheet, attempting to stave off the cold that had overcome him and quietly cleared his throat. "You do know that everything that happened with them wasn't your fault, yeah?"

Harry was silent as he took a long hit off his cigarette. He held the smoke in his lungs for what seemed like hours before exhaling slowly. He stood and went to the window, staring out at the lashing rain and the flashes of lightning and the swaying branches. "Until I was eleven, my bedroom was the cupboard on the ground floor, under the stairs."

Harry had spoken so softly that for a moment, Draco was absolutely positive that he must have heard him wrong. _Surely, no one would make a child sleep in a fucking cupboard? He must be remembering it wrong. That can't be true._

But the clenching in his gut told him that he had not misheard anything, as much as he might wish that he had. He struggled to control his breathing as he stared at Harry's tense back, watching his muscles twitching as he fought to keep the true depth of his emotions hidden. When Draco finally realized that his mouth was opening and closing, making an effort to speak, but that he had no idea what to say, he snapped it shut with an audible click.

Harry leaned forward, pressing his forehead to the dewy glass and sighed heavily. "I'm not sure if it's my first memory or not, but I had to have been about four or five. I remember sitting in that cupboard and sobbing. I was hungry and cold and I had dreamt about my mother and I was so sad and… they just left me there, completely alone. I was always so fucking alone."

Draco tried to swallow, but his throat was completely dry and there was a lump forming that threatened to choke him. "Harry…" he whispered, but it was all he managed to say. _What the fuck do I say to something like that? What am I supposed to do?_

"You don't have to say anything," Harry said with a soft, bitter laugh. "Ron and Hermione didn't know what to say when I told them either. It's alright. I just…I thought you might still like to know."

_Actually, I'm quite sorry that I ever asked. I'm sorry I made you relive it just to ease my ridiculous curiosity._

Harry eventually turned and leaned back against the windowsill. "I know that you never understood my relationship with Oliver or why I continued to go back to him. To tell you the truth, I didn't really understand it myself until Sirius forced me into therapy." He went to the nightstand and lit another cigarette, but didn't sit. He slowly paced the short distance from the window to the bed, occasionally glancing at Draco's still form before returning his attention to the floor.

Draco wanted to go to him, to comfort him, but he couldn't seem to make his body move. Only fifteen minutes earlier he had been awakened by soft kisses and touches and a general sense of unbelievable happiness and now it was as if he were looking at a different person. Selfishly, he wanted the other Harry back. But logically, he knew these things needed to be said if he was ever going to understand where Harry was coming from.

"I met Oliver when I was twenty one. He was my first and only lover for three years…until I met you." Harry stopped pacing and looked at Draco. "I thought you were some arrogant, rich snob when I met you in the café, but you changed my mind so quickly. I had never wanted anyone like that and it scared the living shit out of me."

Draco managed a small smile, but didn't say a word.

"You were so perfect that night. But Oliver…" Harry's face grew tense again and he turned away. "Oliver told me that he loved me the first night that we were together. Hearing those words from someone who wasn't Sirius or Ron or Hermione…I can't explain what it did to me. I wanted so badly to believe him. I _needed_ to believe him. And after hearing it for so long, I truly did begin to believe it. He and I were broken up at the time I met you, but the unbearable guilt of having wanted you and letting you be inside of me…it ate at me. I had never let him do that and I just kept thinking how he said that he loved me and how he cried when I had broken up with him and how devastated he would have been if he had known that I was with you. It wasn't fair that I had given myself to a stranger instead of someone who loved me as much as he said he loved me. I knew that I didn't love him in return, but I thought, maybe if we tried again, maybe he wouldn't hurt me and I could finally let myself fall in love with him. As soon as I went back, I regretted leaving you, but he just smiled at me and told me that he would never stop loving me and I just…I couldn't walk away from that. I needed it so much and even if they weren't true, I needed his words more anything. I know I'm not making a whole lot of sense, but those words were _so_ important to me, even if they were all lies."

Draco cleared his dry throat. "I don't think he lied to you," he said softly, though he couldn't bring himself to look at Harry. "I believe that he loved you, he was just really messed up, Harry. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know that now. At least, I think I do." Harry finally sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out for Draco's hand.

Draco didn't hesitate in moving closer. He was feeling a bit desperate and alone, but as soon as he had Harry's hand in his and their legs were close enough to touch, the feeling left him.

"I never stopped thinking about you. Every single day that I was with him, I wondered what you were doing or who you were with or if you were happy. It made me a little crazy. I had no idea what your name was or how to find you, so I tried to forget it. But I had dreams at night of a happier life that included you. Even when I started to forget the sound of your voice and the smell of your hair, I never forgot your eyes or your smile." He smiled softly as he reached out to tuck a few loose strands behind Draco's ear. "Oliver and I fought a lot more then. It wasn't so easy to forgive him when he hit me and his temper was even shorter than it had been to begin with. In April, just a month after I met you, he pushed me down the stairs."

Draco opened his mouth to say something, but Harry pressed his finger to his lips to quiet him.

"I know that I denied it," Harry said softly. "But I can accept now that what he tried to convince me was an accident, wasn't. None of it was an accident." He removed his finger from Draco's lips and took his hand again. "I haven't even admitted it to Ron and Hermione, but I know now that the things he did to me were all intentional."

A sad sigh escaped Draco's lips as he squeezed Harry's hand. "I'm sorry that you had to live through all of that." He looked down at their joined hands, unsure of what else to say.

Harry shrugged, trying to brush off the comment. "And I'm sorry about all the shit I put you through."

"Harry," Draco said softly, clutching his hand. "I understand. You didn't – "

Harry cut him off with a quick kiss. "I couldn't accept that it would be different with you." He kissed Draco when he tried once again to speak. "I couldn't accept that someone as good as you would want anything to do with me other than sex." A heavy blush stained Harry's cheeks. "I couldn't allow myself to get my hopes up or I would have realized how miserable I was with him. It was easier to go home to him and try to forget you and just pretend that he loved me and we were happy."

Draco licked his too dry lips and nodded. "I can understand that, I guess." He rubbed his thumb over Harry's knuckles and squeezed his hand again.

"Things were getting better," Harry eventually continued. "The trip with Sirius did a lot to heal me and my relationship with him. It seems he and I had been fighting nonstop since Oliver came into the picture. He always recognized that something wasn't right there, but I wouldn't listen. I was stubborn and I was convinced I knew better than him."

"We all go through phases like that," Draco reassured him.

Harry shook his head. "I should have listened to him. I just didn't want him to be right."

"Hindsight is always twenty-twenty." Draco gave a weak attempt at a smile.

Harry leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to Draco's temple before abruptly letting go of his hand and returning to his spot in front of the window. When he finally spoke again, his voice was so low that Draco had to lean forward to hear it clearly. "Sirius and I had a horrible fight the night that he died. He was worried about me, and rightly so and I just ended up being a complete and utter prat to him. We were eating dinner and I hadn't said a word and somehow complete silence turned into me screaming and throwing things while he sat there silently, just watching me act like a child having a tantrum. I told him…" Harry shifted and swallowed hard. "I told him that he had no right to be worried and that he should stop prying into my life and get a fucking life of his own. I said that he wasn't my father and never could be and that he was never the adult that I needed him to be and he just fucking sat there and took it."

"He loved you, Harry." Draco knew the words weren't enough, but it was all he could bring himself to say.

Harry covered his eyes with a shaking hand and leaned heavily against the windowsill. "I didn't mean any of it and I don't even remember what he said that made me so angry, but I can't take it back now. I can't tell him that I'm sorry and that I love him and that he was more of a father than I ever hoped for." He swiped angrily at the tears on his cheeks and took a deep, stuttering breath. "I stormed out of the room without letting him say another word. About two in the morning, I decided to come downstairs to get something to drink and he was just…lying there. On the floor. He was already cold and I just sat down next to him and stared at him like a fucking idiot. All I could think about was that I was alone again. It was almost morning when I finally forced myself to call Hermione."

Draco ran a trembling hand through his tangled hair and over his face before sighing heavily and climbing to his feet. He approached Harry slowly, unsure of how he would react, and rested his hand gently against his back, between his shoulder blades. When he wasn't shrugged away, he stepped closer and slipped his arms around his waist. "You're not alone now," he whispered as he brushed his lips over the brunet's neck.

Harry exhaled a shaky breath and leaned back into him. "I know." He rested his hands over Draco's and closed his eyes.

Draco kissed his neck and shoulder. "Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me."

Harry turned himself around and buried his face against Draco's neck.

When Draco felt the splash of tears on his skin and heard the soft sniffles that came from the face pressed against him, he just held on tighter and didn't say a word.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Please review. And thank you for reading._


	18. Chapter 18

_AN: Happy Sunday, everyone…hope you all enjoy …_

_Also, I received a very touching review from someone and I wanted to say thank and wasn't really sure how. So, I know it's not much, but crusadingangel1388, this chapter is dedicated to you. Thank you for your review and for sharing your thoughts with me. Your review made me a little teary and I am honored that you feel the way you do about this story. I'm so happy that it helped, even if only a little. Thank you for sharing._

Chapter Eighteen

- May 26th -

For the first time in his adult life, Draco Malfoy was ridiculously, unbelievably and if you asked his friends, obnoxiously happy.

He and Harry had been an unofficial couple for almost three weeks and in Draco's opinion, things couldn't be going any better than they were. They had seen each other every day and Draco had spent the majority of those nights at Harry's place, cuddled up close to the smaller man. He had never thought of himself as a cuddler, but there was no way to deny it now. He knew that there was nowhere else he would rather be more than Harry Potter's arms.

He had been bursting to share the news with his mother and had finally caved in and returned her phone calls. She had been patient as she listened to him ramble on and on about how amazing Harry was and she had seemed so genuinely happy for him that Draco couldn't deny her invitation to dinner, even though he knew his father and his father's out of town associates would be present.

He sighed heavily as he straightened his tie in the large mirror in the entryway of Harry's home. He fiddled with his already perfect hair and smoothed down the nonexistent wrinkles in his dress shirt. Deeming himself presentable enough for dinner at the manor he grabbed his keys from the table and before he could talk himself out if, wrenched open the front door.

He had only made it two steps onto the porch when a strong hand grabbed him by the elbow. "Draco."

Draco turned around and grinned at Harry's sleepy, disheveled appearance. They had spent the majority of the afternoon in bed just talking, laughing and cuddling and Draco hadn't had the heart to wake him when he was leaving. "I'm sorry if I woke you," he said softly as he took Harry's hand. "I wrote you a note."

Harry just smiled a sleepy smile and leaned in to place a soft, quick kiss on his lips. "Good luck," he whispered against Draco's mouth. He ran gentle, calming fingers down Draco's cheek and jaw and kissed him again, this time lingering for awhile before pulling away. "Don't let your father push you around. And tell your mother that I look forward to meeting her."

Draco felt a pang of guilt at not correcting Harry's statement about his mother. _I'll tell him tomorrow_ he promised himself for the hundredth time. He didn't quite understand his hesitance to confess their shared history to his lover, but he could never seem to come up with the right words.

"I'll tell her," he promised. He kissed Harry one more time and squeezed his hand before heading to his car. As he started the engine and glanced back at the house, his heart warmed to see Harry standing there, leaning against the railing and smiling at him. He waved once and sped away before his desire to go back inside and drag Harry back to bed overtook him.

The short, yet tense drive to his childhood home was filled with a jumble of thoughts, mostly pertaining to Harry, Harry's surprising flexibility, Harry's talented tongue and hands and what exactly Harry might be doing at that very moment.

But there were other thoughts as well. Guilt ate at him when he thought about how little time he had been spending with Chuck of late. Pansy had been quite enthusiastic about taking in the dog so that Draco and Harry could spend more time in the 'honeymoon' phase of their relationship. Or so she had said. But Draco knew that that arrangement couldn't last. Hermione was due in ten days time and everything would change.

Before he knew it – and well before he was ready – he found himself parked in front of the three story ancestral home of the Malfoys. He took a few moments to collect himself, preparing for what was sure to be an awkward and uncomfortable evening spent with his decidedly unpleasant father and his associates.

A glance at the dashboard clock revealed his near tardiness, so he took a deep breath and headed inside.

When he let himself into the manor, he was met with silence. He headed directly for his mother's sitting room, hoping to put off any confrontations with his father until a later a time, but he was sorely disappointed by what he found.

His mother was sitting on the couch with her back to him, facing the large picture window. The same couch they had sat on when she had showed him the pictures from his childhood and he had confessed his feelings to her.

But instead of being drawn to the vibrant reds and purples blooming outside the window, his eyes were drawn to the chair to the left of the window. His father was sitting there, looking regal and perfect as Draco had come to expect. Lucius's dark grey suit was tailored to perfection and his black shoes shined like Draco had never been able to get his own to do. Long blond hair that was now mostly white was pulled back into a tail at the base of his neck, not a strand out of place. And the grey eyes that Draco had inherited looked up at him with none of the warmth of the usual father looking upon his only son.

Lucius stood, an artificial smile plastered onto his handsome face. "Ah, here he is." His voice was deep and commanding. He made a grand sweeping gesture with his arm that drew Draco's attention to the three strangers in the room. There was an older man, probably in his early fifties who sported a bald head and rather large brown eyes. His nose was a bit small and Draco couldn't help but think it made him look like an owl.

The man stood and smiled in Draco's direction, though much like his fathers, it felt false. Draco had to force a smile back as he inclined his head in greeting. "Good evening," he said as his eyes darted back to his father. "Father." He nodded his head again and headed over to the couch. "Good evening, mother," he leaned over and kissed her cheek, trying to hold back his annoyance at having been put in this situation.

"Draco, this is Lester Mulligan, one of my associates from Ireland and an old, dear friend. Lester, this is my son, Draco."

Lester extended his hand to Draco and gripped tightly when Draco grasped his hand in greeting. He inwardly cringed at the feel of a cold, sweaty palm pressing against his. When the handshake ended, he had to make a conscious effort not to wipe his hand on his trousers.

"It's good to meet you, young Mr. Malfoy," Lester said with a crooked grin. "May I present to you my wife and daughter?" He turned to the two women who were still seated on the couch perpendicular to his mother. The women stood and joined them. "This is my wife, Eleanor."

A short, plump woman with badly dyed red hair stepped forward and took Draco's proffered hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Mulligan," he said, plastering his most charming smile onto his face.

Eleanor Mulligan blushed and giggled like a schoolgirl. Her warm, open smile lit up her rosy features and surprised Draco when it revealed the hidden beauty in her face. _She just needs a little work. A new hairstylist to begin with. Whoever invented that ghastly shade of orange should be drawn and quartered._ He gently squeezed her hand and released it as he turned with dread to meet the daughter.

"And my daughter," Lester's proud face beamed as he looked at her. "Margaret Mulligan."

The girl was quite striking, Draco had to admit, and if he had been at all interested in woman, she was probably what he would look for. Her hair was thick and long, hanging past her shoulders in chestnut brown waves. Her eyes were large and brown, like her fathers, but hers were surrounded in long, dark lashes that fluttered as she blinked nervously at him. She was small in stature, a good bit shorter than Harry, who was already shorter than Draco. She was curvy, yet trim and when she reached out a small, perfectly manicured hand towards him, there was no hesitation as he took it in his and leaned over to kiss it.

She laughed softly and gently pulled away, stepping back to stand between her parents. "It's nice to meet you, Draco," she said softly.

"The pleasure is mine, Miss Mulligan," he said with a smile.

She blushed and nodded at him, then looked away quickly.

Draco glanced over at his father who was smiling a rather terrifying smile at Lester Mulligan. He clenched his jaw as the truth of the situation finally dawned on him. _And why wouldn't he try to force his colleague's daughter on you? How else are you supposed to continue the family name unless you marry a woman?_ He found himself disgusted by the thought and had to hold back a laugh. He glanced at Margaret who was standing near the window, staring blankly out at the cloudy sky. Eyes that only moments ago had been so open and friendly were now shuttered and cold and Draco had the feeling that Margaret Mulligan knew exactly how he felt at the moment.

"Let us all move into the dining room. Dinner will be served momentarily," Lucius offered his arm to Narcissa as she stood.

Draco finally glanced at his mother and she stared back at him with sad eyes. "I'm sorry," she mouthed at him.

Draco forced a smile and shook his head. He knew she wasn't to blame for any of this. All he had to do is get through the evening and then he would never have to see these people again.

Lester had offered his arm to Eleanor and they were following the Malfoy's out of the room. He shot a quick look over his shoulder, making eye contact with his daughter. He jerked his head in Draco's direction and gave her a hard look.

Draco knew what was expected of them, so he took a deep breath to calm himself then walked over to the window and offered his arm to Margaret. "Shall we?"

She gave him a small smile and took his arm.

"I know how you feel," he said softly as he led her from the room. "I have someone waiting for me as well."

Her small, tight smile melted into an honest, relieved one and she squeezed his arm. "Thank you, Draco."

"You're welcome, Margaret."

"Please, call me Maggie."

Draco smiled and ushered her into the dinning room. "Of course…Maggie."

As he expected, they were seated beside each other, which he was surprisingly okay with. Under different circumstances, he could see himself befriending this girl. She was intelligent, witty and he could sense a wicked temper not far beneath the surface. During small talk, he discovered that she was only just nineteen and a sense of anger toward her parents for trying to sell her off at such a young age coursed through him. He shook it off and continued to chat pleasantly with his new friend.

"Look at them," Lester Mulligan said from across the table. "Wouldn't they make a fine couple, Lucius?"

"Indeed," Lucius agreed with a smirk.

Neither parent was making much of an effort to keep their voices down and from the corner of his eye Draco could see Maggie's mother agreeing silently and his own mother flushing with embarrassment for her child.

"They would be the envy of our entire circle," Lucius said, a proud gleam making his normally cold eyes shine. "Just imagine what it could do for the Malfoy and Mulligan names should the two families join."

Maggie blushed and stared down at her plate.

Draco cleared his throat softly and wiped his mouth with his napkin before setting it back on his lap. "Mother," he said as he turned to look at her. "How are the gardens coming along?"

Narcissa smiled at him. "Very well, dear. The new roses are blooming quite beautifully and the daffodils are the most perfect yellow. Make sure you see them before you take leave."

"Maybe you and Margaret could take a walk in the gardens after dessert," Lucius suggested.

"Yes," Lester agreed; his delight at the situation making his eyes widen even further. "Margaret has always enjoyed the gardens at home, haven't you, dear?"

Maggie nodded and glanced at Draco, who gave her an encouraging smiling. "Yes, father," she agreed.

"The gardens at home are quite lovely," Eleanor added. "I'm particularly fond of lilies myself. Have you any lilies, Narcissa?"

Draco let their mothers continue their discussion on flowers and leaned in closer to Maggie. "So, what's his name?" he whispered.

Maggie gave him a startled look, and then smiled when she saw the curious look in his eye. "His name is Liam," she said, just as quietly. Her face softened as she said his name and Draco knew that this Liam was her Harry. "His mother is dead and his father is a farmer. He is poor and I've been told I'm not to see him again." Her face took on an angry, determined look and her fists clenched in her lap. "He asked me to run away with him."

"Do you love him?"

She nodded with no hesitation.

"Then do it. Or you'll never escape this." He gestured with his head to three of their four parents who were not so subtly discussing how close their children already seemed to be. "Trust me. I know."

"Draco?"

He looked up at his father and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, father?"

"Your mother and I recently received an invitation to the marriage of Daphne Greengrass and Gregory Goyle. Did you receive your invitation?"

Draco was momentarily surprised at the idea of the girl he lost his virginity to marrying one of the dumbest people he had every met in his entire life. Daphne had been stunningly beautiful when they were in school and she had had her choice of almost anyone she could have wanted. He had to hold back a snort at the thought of their union.

He wasn't sure if he received an invitation or not, but he did recall seeing an extravagant, parchment envelope in his stack of mail a few days earlier. "I believe so, father," he finally said.

"Their wedding is sure to be one of the highlights of the season," Lucius told Lester and Eleanor. "I'm sure your daughter would fit in just perfectly with Draco and his friends."

"Those people are no longer my friend's, father," he said before he could stop himself.

Lucius glared at him in warning before continuing to the elder Mulligan's. "I'm sure Margaret would enjoy herself immensely." He turned back to Draco. "You could introduce her to Pansy and Blaise and I'm sure Daphne herself would take a liking to her. Daphne always was a delightful girl."

Draco smirked, but said nothing about the 'delightful' things that he and Daphne had gotten up to back in their school days.

"So, Margaret dear," Narcissa began. "Are you planning to attend University?"

Cold grey eyes narrowed at Narcissa before Lucius turned his attention back to Maggie. "Are you fond of the theater, Margaret? Draco quite enjoys it and I'm sure he would love to have someone to accompany him when he sees _Hamlet_ next month."

Maggie's face was flushed and Draco could feel the discomfort radiating from her. He had already cursed his father for putting him through this awkward situation, but his anger on Maggie's behalf was worse. "I don't enjoy the theater father," he said with a slight frown. "I haven't been in years."

Lucius Malfoy's face was clouded in anger. "But I've already bought the tickets for your birthday, Draco. I spent a lot of money on them."

"Regardless of the fact that I don't wish to attend, I couldn't possibly have Miss Mulligan accompany me." Draco adopted an apologetic look as he turned to Maggie's parents. "I'm sorry, but you see, I am already involved with someone and I must say, it is _quite_ serious." From the corner of his eye he saw his mother raise her napkin to her mouth to cover a pleased smile.

Eleanor looked crestfallen. "Well, that is a shame," she said with a soft sigh. "May I ask who the lucky woman is?"

"His name is Harry Potter," Draco said with a smirk, his eyes glued to his fathers face.

Several things happened all at once. Lucius slammed his fist down on the table, his face looking as if his head might explode in a fit of rage and embarrassment; Eleanor Mulligan gasped and pressed her hand to her chest, his cheeks flushed with disbelief; Lester Mulligan choked on his water and had a coughing fit so violent that Lucius had to thump him on the back to help clear his airway; Narcissa looked away from the scene to hide her amusement; and Maggie Mulligan threw her head back and laughed as she clutched at Draco's forearm.

Once the chaos had subsided, silence fell on the room and everyone except Maggie stared at a smug looking Draco Malfoy who was now quite enthusiastically digging into his roast and fresh vegetables.

"My son has always had an…_interesting_ sense of humor," Lucius said between clenched teeth.

"Oh." Draco wiped his mouth again and looked over at Lester and Eleanor. "I'm sorry if my father has just now given you the impression that I am joking, but I assure you, I am not. I am very happy in the relationship that I am in." He looked over at Maggie and gave her a fond smile before turning back to her parents. "You have an incredible daughter and I do hope that you recognize that. I could never make her happy and if she ever does find that someone that lets her be, I hope you give her your blessing and don't insist that she choose between family and love."

Eleanor had the decency to blush as she looked at her only daughter. But Lester Mulligan just stared at Draco, a look of disgust poorly hidden on his round, owlish face. Draco stared him down until the other man looked away and then finally looked back to his father.

Lucius' face was its usual pale. There was nothing to give away his extreme anger except two small spots of pink high up on his perfect cheekbones. He stared at his son as if his eyes alone could will the boy to take back all of the horribly embarrassing and disgusting things he had just said, but Draco happily ignored him and went back to chatting amiably with Maggie.

The parents at the table were silent, none of them making eye contact with the others. Draco gave his mother a soft smile, hoping to reassure her that he knew what he was doing, but he couldn't keep away the small feeling of dread that grew tighter and tighter in his chest the longer his father seethed in silence.

When dinner and dessert had been finished, the Mulligans were quick to retreat. Mr. Mulligan all but pulled Maggie away from Draco as they said their goodbyes, his eyes never meeting Draco's as he hurried the girl and his wife away.

Narcissa took Draco's arm and squeezed it as she guided him into the sitting room. Draco leaned in and kissed her cheek, thanking her for her silent support of his choices.

"Draco," Lucius said, his tone quiet, but icy with anger.

Draco stood tall and turned to face his father, but said nothing in return.

Lucius' jaw clenched and unclenched as he stared down at his son. "I don't think you understand how much you embarrassed me and your mother tonight."

"Oh, Lucius," Narcissa said softly. "I wasn't – "

"Quiet," Lucius snapped, his eyes never leaving the face of his son. "He is dishonoring the name of Malfoy and I am putting a stop to it right now!"

Narcissa bit her tongue as she stood beside her son and clenched her hands together in front of her.

Draco took a deep breath, trying to reign in his anger. "I apologize if you were embarrassed by my comments, father, but you really didn't give me many options. You gave the Mulligan's the impression that I was to court their daughter when I have no intentions – "

Lucius took two quick steps forward until his face was only inches from Draco's. "I don't care about your _intentions,_ Draco," he hissed in anger. "You will cease this foolishness immediately and you _will_ do what is right for this family. I did not raise you to behave this way."

"You didn't raise me at all," Draco pointed out to him. "That was all mothers doing."

Lucius scowled at him and took another step forward. "I worked myself to the bone to make sure you and your mother had everything you could have ever possibly wanted!"

Draco snorted and folded his arms over his chest. "Everything? And what if I just wanted my father to love me? Or hell, even _like_ me?"

A stunned look melted the anger from Lucius' face and he took a step back. "Of course I love you, Draco. You're my son…my heir."

Before he could quell the desire, Draco rolled his eyes. "Right. So, you love me, but you just don't like me then. Admit it, father. I mean, how can you like me when I'm something that you so clearly despise?"

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence for a few short moments before the elder Malfoy turned his attention back to his son and continued with their earlier conversation as if nothing had happened. "I have two tickets for the symphony for tomorrow evening. You will escort Miss Mulligan – "

"No," Draco protested harshly. "You're not listening to me! She doesn't want me and I don't want her."

"Love will come with time, son."

"I'm sorry, father, but I won't. Maggie is a nice girl, but I don't want to be with her. I'm perfectly happy with Ha – "

"Don't you _dare_ say Harry Potter," Lucius growled as he shoved a finger into his son's chest.

Draco bit his lip to hold back a smirk. "His name is that distasteful to you?"

"That boy has poisoned your mind."

"He's a good man," Draco said through clenched teeth. "You don't know him."

"And _you _shouldn't know him either," Lucius said softly. "If you would just give this relationship with Miss Mulligan a chance, I think you will see that a woman can offer you so many things that a man would never be able to give you. A child, for instance. A son."

"If I ever decide that I want children I can adopt."

"Malfoy's do not _adopt,_ Draco. Be a fucking man!"

"Lucius," Narcissa said softly. She reached out and touched his arm, trying to calm him.

"Why not?" Draco asked, a bitter smile fighting its way to the surface. "There are plenty of little _girls_ out there who could use a good home and I have the money, so why not help them?" He knew purposely trying to anger his father was never a good idea, but he couldn't hold it in any longer.

Lucius shook free from Narcissa's grip without even glancing her way. "You will cease seeing Mr. Potter immediately and you _will_ escort Miss Mulligan to the symphony tomorrow. I will _not_ have any more of your dishonorable behavior tainting the Malfoy name. You are twenty six years old, Draco. It is far passed time for you to grow up and stop acting like a petulant child."

"I won't do this," Draco said calmly, though his heart was racing wildly.

"_Yes_, you will."

The Malfoy men stared each other down in silence, both faces frozen into a frown, both sets of grey eyes narrowed and full of anger.

"Lucius," Narcissa said as she again rested her hand on his arm.

"Stay out of this, woman," he snapped at her.

Draco growled softly. "You don't get to control my life and you don't get to control Mother either."

"Watch your tone, young man."

"Or what? I'm an adult and I'm not afraid of you anymore." _Ha…that's a complete and utter lie._

Lucius straightened his shoulders and looked down at his defiant son. "You will be engaged to her no later than September."

"I won't do it," Draco whispered through the lump in his throat. _I'm not leaving Harry. There's nothing he could do to me that would make me leave him. Not now._

"I expect a wedding by January and your first child to be born within the year." Lucius' face was stony, any trace of anger that had marred his complexion only moments ago was now gone. He stared calmly down at his son. "You will write a letter to Mr. Potter informing him of your imminent engagement – "

"No!" Draco could feel the tears of anger and frustration stinging at his eyes and he cast a desperate, pleading look at his mother, but she was staring down at her tightly clenched hands. His chest tightened as he looked back at the person he had come to loathe more than any other.

"You will inform him of your engagement and sever all ties. You will not contact him again or speak _of_ him to anyone, or so help me, Draco – "

"I love him!" he yelled over his father. He faintly heard his mother gasp, but had no time to react to his own confession before he found himself stumbling backwards, a sharp, stinging pain blossoming across his left cheek and the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth as he hit the floor.

"You do not _'love him'_!" Lucius screamed as he hovered over him. "I did not raise you to be a faggot!"

The blood rushing in Draco's ears almost drowned out the sounds of his father's fury, but he couldn't completely block out the words or the deep, cutting pain they caused. He struggled to his feet and ran the back of his hand over his mouth, blood staining the pale skin red. "I do love him," he said calmly. His eyes darted over to his mother who was crying quietly into her hands. She gave him a small, sad smile and a slight nod before he turned back to face his father.

"If this is the way you insist on living your life, make sure you are aware of the consequences," Lucius growled softly.

"Lucius, no," Narcissa softly begged him.

"No son of mine is going to live a life of sin. I won't sit back and watch you destroy everything that I have done for this family. I won't watch you destroy our name with your filth!"

Draco's heart clenched painfully in his chest as he began to suspect his fathers intentions.

"If you do not sever ties with Mr. Potter…and any other man you've had inappropriate relations with…I will no longer call you my son."

Narcissa let out a quiet sob and turned her back to them.

Draco licked his suddenly too dry lips and nodded curtly. "I suppose since I have no intentions of giving him up that I should leave your property then…Lucius?"

Lucius flinched slightly, but quickly schooled his features and nodded. "I will visit my attorney in the morning. As of then, you will no longer be entitled to any monies, properties or possessions of the Malfoy family."

"I don't need your money," Draco told him. "I have the club and that's more than enough for me."

Lucius let out a quiet laugh. "You and I both know that that disgusting club of yours does not make enough money to sustain your way of life. You depend on the money that _I_ give you. Without your monthly allowance, you will be broke by the end of the year."

Draco swallowed hard; unable to refute what he knew to be the truth. The club made decent money, but it was nowhere near what he spent. He would have to cut back on his spending habits, possibly even sell the house, but despite the fear that struck him at the idea of being poor, he refused to back down. "I will get by," he said and he was pleased to hear how steady his voice sounded, even if he felt shaken and sick on the inside.

"If you've made your decision, then you are free to go."

Draco looked at his father and nodded before turning to face his mother. Narcissa still had her back to him and she hadn't said a word other than her feeble protests against Lucius' decision. He wasn't sure what to say to her. He was confused as to why she had just stood there and said nothing in his defense as his father had hit him and called him names and so easily expelled him from their family.

"Mum?" he said softly, all pretense of steadiness now gone, his voice sounding as shaky as his hands felt.

After a short pause, Narcissa turned to him and attempted a smile. She took a step forward and kissed him softly on the cheek. "I'm sorry, love," she whispered as she turned away and fled the room.

His eyes burned as he watched her go. This was different. He had gotten past the idea that his father didn't love him, but his mother had always been there. How could she have given up on him so easily?

Lucius cleared his throat and motioned toward the door that led out to the foyer. "Shall I see you out?"

Draco shook his head, but didn't look at him. He moved to the foyer in a daze, unable to believe that what had just happened was real. When he and Harry had been jokingly thinking up worst case scenarios for the evening, this hadn't come to mind. It would have been bearable had his mother tried a bit harder to stand up for him, had she done or said _anything_ to defend him, but she hadn't and his heart felt like it was a stone sinking into the pit of his stomach.

He was still in a daze when he reached his car and he looked up in surprise when he heard the crunch of gravel beside him.

"Draco," Narcissa said as she swiped at a tear that fell down her pale cheek. "I'm sorry, darling. I'll talk to him, I promise. I'll fix this, love."

A tight lump formed in his throat as he looked at his mother. He cleared his throat and tried to swallow, but he felt like he would choke. He cleared his throat again. "Why didn't you stand up for me?"

Narcissa bit her lip, but moved closer, her normally crystal clear blue eyes sparkling with tears and roiling with emotion. "You know how your father is when he's made up his mind about something, no matter how crazy it may be. There was no reasoning with him and I – "

Draco stepped back as she reached for him. "You could have defended me! You could have told him that I'm not all those awful things that he said I was! Why didn't you stand up for me, mother?"

She let out a soft sob as she again reached for him, only to have him move even further away. "I'm sorry, Draco. I couldn't go against him and he just…it would have made things worse!"

"I told you he didn't love me and you promised me I was wrong! You _promised _me!" A bout of nausea hit him so hard that he had to swallow multiple times to force it back. His stomach was clenching and twisting and he pressed a hand to his abdomen and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to think about any of this. He didn't want to talk to his mother or listen to her begging and useless promises. He needed to get away.

"He does love you," she insisted, her tone of voice edging towards desperation. "Draco, you are his only child. How could he not?"

"Because he doesn't love _anyone_! I shouldn't be surprised by that, I've known it for years. But that doesn't make it hurt any less."

"Just give me a couple of days." Narcissa stepped closer to him. She was breathing hard and her face was flushed as she stared at him, her eyes begging for him to forgive her; to believe her.

"I just don't understand," he said softly, almost to himself. He frowned and blinked furiously, trying to keep his own tears from falling. "How could you just stand there and…those things that he said… why didn't you…?" He pressed the palms of his hands against his stinging eyes and took a shuddering breath, trying to calm his wildly pounding heart and ease the tightness of his chest. He exhaled sharply as he dropped his hands and looked back at the house. "You know what, I don't care anymore. I don't need you or him or your fucking money!" He turned for his car as the first tear escaped and fumbled with his keys to unlock the door.

Narcissa grabbed his arm to try to stop him, but he managed to shrug her off and open the door.

"I'll fix it, Draco; I promise you I'll fix it."

He slammed the door and jammed the key into the ignition. He threw the car in drive and sped away before he had to listen to anymore of his Mother's pleading cries.

*.*.*.*

- May 26th -

Draco was leaning heavily on the polished oak bar, his head swimming with the results of too much liquor imbibed far too quickly. His hands had yet to stop shaking, so he grabbed the whiskey bottle in front of him and gulped down another mouthful, completely ignoring the glass of ice at his side and the angry glance from the man behind the counter.

"Maybe you should slow down, Mr. Malfoy," the bartender said a bit hesitantly.

Draco frowned at him. "Do you like working here?"

The bartender returned the frown, but nodded.

"Then kindly shut the hell up." Draco took another swig and slammed the bottle down on the counter.

The club was mostly empty at that hour so he felt no need to put on airs, to pretend that he wasn't currently as devastated as he was.

"Is…is something troubling you, sir?" the bartender asked.

The discomfort that his employee was radiating at him caused a smile to break out on the blond's face, but he ducked his head and turned away. "Nothing a little whiskey can't fix," he said softly as he walked away, bottle still in hand.

He wandered over to the dance floor, which was empty but for four young men and a woman, all of them seemingly together and none of them nearly drunk enough to do much other than sway softly and cast quick glances at each other from the corners of their eyes.

Draco walked up to the group and smiled brightly, even though it was a challenge to force his face into anything but a scowl or a pout. "How are you enjoying my club?" he asked a bit too loudly in his drunken state. He waved his arm around dramatically, motioning to the nearly empty first floor.

The tallest of the group, a boy with shaggy brown hair and dark eyes smiled at Draco and moved closer to him. "It's wonderful," he said as his gaze moved up and down Draco's swaying body. "You own this place?"

Draco nodded and took another mouthful of whiskey. He held the bottle out to the boy in front of him. "Want some?"

The boy took the bottle and drank deeply from it, his dark eyes never leaving Draco's. He licked his lips as he handed the bottle back, purposely brushing their fingers together as he let go. "I'm Alex," he said softly. He stepped closer to Draco, eyeing him carefully. "You looking for company tonight?"

Before he had met Harry, Draco wouldn't have hesitated to take the boy up on his offer. He was attractive, quite fit and stylishly dressed. He was taller than Draco, which he wasn't used to and didn't normally care for, but Alex carried himself with grace and his thin limbs and narrow hips worked completely in his favor.

Draco shook himself from his perusal and glanced around behind him, his eyes falling on Blaise who was standing at the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, giving Draco a dirty look.

"Shit," Draco said softly to himself. He turned back to Alex and took a step back. "Sorry, Alex. I have something I need to do. Maybe we'll run into each other later, yeah?"

A frown of disappointment crossed Alex's face before he shrugged and turned back to his friends. "Sure," he called softly, without giving a second look.

Draco made his way over to Blaise and took in his angry stance. "What?" he asked as he set the whiskey on the counter. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What were you just doing with that guy?"

"Nothing. I was talking. Why the hell does it matter to you anyway?"

"Because Harry is my friend and you're not going to do this to him or yourself." Blaise moved closer and set a hand on his friend's tense shoulder. "What is going on with you? Did something happen at dinner?"

Draco shrugged him off. "Fuck off, Blaise. I wasn't going to fuck that guy or anything. It's just nice to know that people still want me." He completely ignored the question about dinner and fervently hoped that his friend would forget the question as well.

"You should call Harry and have him come get you. I can get by tonight without your help."

"I don't need Harry to come rescue me, Blaise," Draco bit out.

Blaise sighed heavily and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Either tell me what the hell happened that's got you so bent out of shape or go somewhere else and be a prat."

Draco growled at him. "You're the prat," he muttered softly.

Blaise rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from the bar, heading for the stairs to their office.

Draco settled back onto his stool and stared gloomily down at the water rings his glass had left on his pristine bar. He rubbed at the ring with his fingertip, smearing the still cool liquid into squiggly lines and spirals. Trails of moisture spread out in an ever widening pattern in front of him and began to dry, leaving smudged fingerprints in their wake.

He had no idea how long he sat there, his eyes half shut as he only partially recognized the increasing volume of the music and the growing crowd around him.

"So, I'm starting to think you were just looking for an excuse to get away from me."

Draco looked up at the voice coming from his left to find Alex sitting there, a glass of something fruity looking in his hand. Grey eyes lingered on the brightly colored drink for a moment, before lifting to look at the friendly, smiling face. "Just had some things to discuss with my partner," he explained before returning his attention to nothing.

"Partner," Alex said in obvious disappointment. "That's too bad, though not surprising in the slightest."

Draco smiled, but didn't look at him. "My _work_ partner," he said softly.

"Oh!" Alex perked up immediately and scooted his stool closer. "So, no _life_ partner then?"

Draco thought about it. _It's too soon for all of that, isn't it? Harry isn't my _partner_ exactly. I'm not even sure if he's my boyfriend. _His heart seemed to stutter in his chest as he remembered his fight with his father and finally admitted to himself what he had said to the man that had made him strike him. _I love him. _"I don't know that I care for that term. Life partner…it sounds so…clinical…cold."

"Sounds lovely to me," Alex said with a wistful sigh. "What about a boyfriend? Have you got one of those?"

Without even thinking, Draco nodded. _I love him_ he thought once again and he silently delighted at the warmth that spread through him. _I love Harry Potter._ Part of him wanted to run upstairs and shout it to Blaise; call Hermione and Pansy and tell them that he finally figured it out; track Harry down and kiss him until they were both breathless; but the other part of him wanted to keep it close and quiet. He didn't want to share that feeling with anyone because it was his. No one else's but his.

_And Harry's. Harry should know._ He glanced around as if his lover would just magically appear in front of him and was slightly startled, though not at all unpleased to see Harry walking directly towards him.

His hair was perfectly messy and his eyes were shining brightly from behind the frames of his glasses. He was wearing an old, threadbare t-shirt that clung to all of the right places and his jeans were dark blue and slightly frayed, a thick black belt holding them up around his trim waist. Draco couldn't help the affectionate smile that spread over his face as he glanced down at the raggedy green converse that covered the man's feet. He had once hated those shoes with such a passion, but now he couldn't imagine Harry wearing anything else.

Alex gently caressed Draco's arm, trying to get his attention back. "Do you want to dance?" he said as he leaned in close, his breath ghosting over Draco's ear and neck.

Draco turned his head and stared down at the fingers that stroked his arm. "I'm sorry, Alex. I can't."

"Draco?"

Hearing Harry's voice made his heart thump heavily and he spun around quickly to face his lover.

Harry smiled at him, though a bit hesitantly and glanced over at Alex. His eyes fell to Draco's arm, which Alex was still touching. "Who's this?" he asked as he looked back at Draco.

Draco stood, forcing Alex to move his hand and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck.

"Draco, who – " But Draco pressed his mouth tightly to Harry's, cutting off any other words he may have wanted to say.

_I love you._ Draco kissed him harder, trying to wordlessly relay his thoughts. He nibbled softly at Harry's bottom lip and slipped his tongue into his lover's tea flavored mouth. He groaned as he twined his hands into unruly locks of soft hair.

After only a few short moments of confusion, Harry melted into the kiss, his hands coming to rest at the small of Draco's back to pull him closer.

"Take me home," Draco whispered against his lips. "Take me home and fuck me, Harry. Show me that I'm yours."

Harry's breath caught and he moved his mouth to Draco's long, pale neck. He left a trail of soft, possessive kisses against the heated skin, marking the flesh with his tongue, teeth and lips, leaving no doubt to anyone who would see that Draco was taken.

Draco gripped Harry's hair. "Please," he moaned softly. "Harry…" _I love you. I fucking love you._ "Please take me home. I want you."

Harry raised his head and crashed his mouth to Draco's, kissing him brutally, his teeth nipping almost painfully at Draco's already swollen lips. "Yes," he finally agreed.

Draco kissed him again and reluctantly let go of his hair. He glanced at Alex, who was staring at them with lust filled eyes, his mouth open as his breaths came in harsh pants. "This is the boyfriend, I take it?"

Draco nodded and looked back at Harry.

Harry's eyes shone with surprise and happiness. "Boyfriend, eh?" He grabbed Draco's hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss it. "I didn't know you were going around telling people I was your boyfriend." Harry turned Draco hand around and held eye contact as he ran the tip of his tongue over his palm.

Draco's cheeks flooded with color as he nodded. "Is that alright?"

"Oh, it's more than alright," Harry said softly. He took Draco's face in his hands and stroked his cheeks with his thumbs as he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Let's go." He let go abruptly and turned away, dragging Draco behind him as he headed for the door.

The drive home was tense and silent. Draco shifted in his seat, his cock already hard at the thought of what was to come. He glanced over at Harry who was staring intently at the road as he chewed on his lower lip.

"You're fucking gorgeous, do you know that?" Draco turned slightly in his seat and leaned back, his hand falling down between his legs, resting on his growing erection.

Harry glanced over at him and his eyes grew wide as they fell to Draco's lap. "Fuck," he muttered as he snapped his eyes back to the road.

Draco watched Harry's Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed again and again. He moaned softly as he rubbed himself a bit harder, desperately trying to ease the ache that just looking at Harry caused.

"You need to stop that," Harry said softly. "You're going to distract me and what good will it do you if I crash the car?"

Draco smiled and undid the button on his pants. "Don't mind me then. You pay attention to the road, I'll concentrate on this." He slipped his hand into his boxers and took himself in hand, squeezing gently and ripping a surprisingly loud groan from his own lips.

"Draco," Harry breathed softly. He reached over, blindly grabbing at his lover with a trembling hand.

Draco reached out his free hand and entwined his fingers with Harry's, bringing them to rest on his thigh. He gave the fingers a squeeze and held tightly to Harry's hand as he began to stroke himself faster. He couldn't pull his eyes away from Harry's flushed face.

Harry somehow managed to steer the car with one hand and keep his eyes on the road, despite the quiet moans and sighs coming from the passenger seat. He let go of Draco's hand and turned his hand over, gently massaging Draco's tense thigh through his trousers.

Draco tilted his head back and let out a soft whimper. "Harry," he whispered softly. He used his free hand to finish undoing his pants and pulled his cock free. He sighed as cool air hit his overheated skin and he ran his thumb over the leaking head, spreading the milky fluid over his length.

Harry let go of Draco and put both hands back on the wheel. He stepped harder on the gas as he approached his street, then almost slammed on the brakes as he turned the corner, his tires squealing in protest. When he pulled up in front of his house, he threw the car in park and ripped off his seatbelt.

Draco watched with heavily lidded eyes as Harry frantically scrambled onto his knees in the drivers seat. He let go of his cock to pull his lover to him and then finally, Harry's tongue was in his mouth, his hand was on his cock and Draco sighed in relief.

But just as quickly as their kiss had started, it ended. Draco cried out in disappointment, but his disappointment faded when Harry suddenly leaned over and closed his mouth around his erection.

"_Fuck!"_ He bucked his hips forward and gripped Harry's hair in both hands. "Coming…" he muttered softly. "Oh fuck…oh my…_fuck_…Harry…" Three hard sucks was all it took and he was coming down Harry's throat in hard, thick pulses that seemed to go on and on and on. He threw his head back and pumped his hips, unable to hear anything except the blood rushing in his ears and his own loud moans.

Harry moaned softly as he licked Draco clean and sat up slowly. His cheeks were flushed and the bulge in his pants unmistakable.

Draco stared at Harry's hard cock and smiled lazily. "Want me to take care of that right now or are you saving it for later?" Draco asked, his eyes glued to Harry's crotch.

Harry smirked at him then leaned in to tuck Draco away and do up his pants. "As much as I'd love for you to suck me off right here, I'm a bit afraid of what the neighbors might think."

"You didn't think about the neighbors while my cock was in your mouth."

Harry laughed and leaned in to kiss him. "I didn't think about _anything_ while your cock was in my mouth." He kissed him again then turned for the door. "Come on."

Draco stumbled out of the car and into Harry's waiting arms. He couldn't keep his hands to himself and growled with frustration as Harry continually batted his hands away as they made their way up the walkway.

"Can you wait until we're inside please?" Harry laughed. He fumbled to unlock the door, Draco's arms wrapped tightly around his waist and his lips attached to the back of his neck. "You're making this much more difficult than it has to be. We'd be inside already if you'd let me concentrate."

Draco smiled against Harry's neck and nipped him gently before letting go. "Fine. But we're still going to fuck, right?"

Harry smiled over his shoulder. "Like I could ever turn that down." He got the door unlocked and they finally made it inside.

Draco headed straight for the stairs. He pulled off his jacket and tossed it over the railing, to be quickly followed by his shirt. "Coming?"

Harry hurried after him and caught up with him on the first landing. He spun him around and kissed him, pressing him into the wall and rubbing his erection against Draco's hip. "I can't wait to have you inside of me," he whispered against his ear.

Draco shivered at the feel of Harry's breath on him, but when his words registered, he pulled back. "I thought you were going to fuck me," he said with a frown.

Harry smiled up at him and snaked a hand up his chest to gently squeeze his nipples. "You're only saying that because you've been drinking. I'm not fucking you while you're drunk just to have you regret it in the morning." He licked at Draco's neck and lightly twisted one of his nipples.

"But I want you to," Draco moaned as he reached between them to feel Harry's arousal. "I want you, Harry. I won't regret it. Please, fuck me."

Harry laughed and let go of him. He pulled his shirt over his head and headed into the bedroom. "You should take a shower and sober up a bit. You'll change your mind once you do."

Draco growled softly and stormed down the hall after him. "Stop telling me what I do or don't want, Potter. I wouldn't have asked for it if I didn't want it."

Harry sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up at him in concern. "What's up with you? Blaise called me and told me you were upset about something so I hurried down there. I barely get two words out of my mouth and suddenly you're all over me, asking me to fuck you. What happened at dinner?" He stood and went to his boyfriend, taking his hands in his.

"Nothing fucking happened. I'm just horny and I want to fuck. What's wrong with that?"

"The only time you've ever let me be inside of you was when you were upset about Cedric leaving."

"That's not why I let you!" Draco shouted and he inwardly cringed at the emotion in his voice. He pulled his hand away and turned his back to him. _That's what he thinks? He thinks I only let him because of my breakup with Cedric?_ He was surprised at how much Harry's comment hurt and he fisted his hands at his side, digging his nails into his palms.

"Just tell me what happened, Draco."

"I've been disowned," he said as he spun around to face him. "My fucking sorry excuse for a father disowned me. He had one of his associates there with his family and they tried to force the daughter on me. He wanted me to court her. I said no and he disowned me."

Harry stared at him in silence, his mouth half open and his eyes wide.

"My mother didn't defend me," he continued mostly just to cover the silence. He crossed his arms tightly over his bare chest and stared down at the floor. "As of tomorrow, I will be a Malfoy in name only. I'm sure my father would have forced me to change that as well if he could have." He laughed a soft, bitter laugh and fell silent.

"Why would he do that?" Harry said softly. He took a hesitant step toward Draco. "Why…but you're his son. Shouldn't he want you to marry for love? Doesn't he want you to be happy?"

Draco licked at his lips, running his tongue over the cut that his father had given him and that Harry hadn't noticed. "He doesn't care if I'm happy. As long as I'm with a girl, that's all that matters to him."

Harry stepped back. "He disowned you for being gay?"

Draco nodded. "I told him I wouldn't leave you. That I was happy with you."

Harry fell silent, staring at him in shock. "Why would you do that?"

The horror in Harry's voice stunned him, putting a heavy damper on his lingering arousal. "What do you mean?"

"They're your family, Draco! Why would you give them up for me?" Harry ran his hands through his hair and over his face. "Fuck…I can't be the reason that you don't have a family. I grew up without one and I know what it's like. If someone had given me a choice…I don't think there's anything that I wouldn't have given up to have them in my life."

Draco scowled at him. "You think so little of our relationship to suggest I walk away from you in order to keep my father in my life? My father who _hates me_ in case you've forgotten."

"They're still your family!" Harry shouted. He paced toward the window and back again, biting his lip and looking anywhere but at Draco. "You shouldn't have done that."

"It was my choice and I chose you." He stared at Harry, his heart thundering against his ribs, his hands cold and clammy where the gripped at each other. "Why are you so upset about this? I thought you would be happy that I chose you."

"It was stupid to shut them out, Draco. Do you even realize what you've done? I could never have given up my family. Not for anyone."

"Yeah, well your family loved you, Harry. There's a difference."

"You don't know that," Harry said softly to himself. He kept his back to Draco and stared out the window in silence.

_But I do._ He took a few small steps closer to his distraught lover and sighed heavily. "It's too late now," he said. "I'm not changing my mind."

Harry spun around, his face a cloud of anger. "Go back to them and apologize. I'm sure they'll forgive you if you just – "

"_Forgive_ me?" Draco shouted. "I don't need to be fucking forgiven, Potter, because I didn't do anything wrong!" He pulled at his hair in frustration and glared down at the smaller man.

"But if you would just talk to them, I'm sure – "

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Harry, so just drop it. It's already done."

Harry grabbed at Draco's arms and stared up at him with tears in his eyes. "But why are you okay with it? I understand that you don't get along with your father, but he would have come around eventually."

"No, he wouldn't have." He pulled away from Harry and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You're going to regret it," Harry said softly as he returned to his spot in front of the window. He stared outside for a moment, then turned and leaned on the windowsill, facing Draco. "You'll regret it and you'll grow to resent me and I don't think I could take that, Draco. So just, go back and – "

"I love you."

Harry fell silent, his eyes blinking rapidly in shock.

Draco took a deep, shaky breath, surprised at himself for saying it aloud. "He wanted me to write you a letter and tell you that I was getting engaged. I told him I wouldn't leave you." He stood and wrung his hands together in front of him as he moved nervously toward his silent lover. "The girl that he wanted me with, Maggie, she had someone at home waiting for her too. We didn't want that, Harry. I just…I love you and I'm sorry it took so fucking long for me to say it and I'm sorry that I'm not the best at showing it, but it's true, I swear it and…would you please just fucking say _something_?"

And Harry was across the room in a flash, pressing their mouths together in a feverish, painful kiss. Draco could feel tears of relief burning at his eyes, but he forgot them as he was pushed down onto the bed, his body covered with Harry's.

Harry sucked and licked and bit at his neck and jaw, his fingers tore at Draco's clothes until, before he realized it, he was down to his boxers. "Harry," he whispered.

Harry stood from the bed and stared down at him with wild eyes. Draco wasn't sure, but they looked a bit glassy and he wondered if Harry was going to cry.

"Take them off and turn over," Harry said as he began to undo his own pants.

Draco breathed in and held it for a moment before exhaling slowly. He slipped his boxers off and rolled over onto his stomach, pillowing his head on his folded arms. He tried controlling his pounding heart with slow, steady breaths, but just knowing that Harry was preparing to fuck him was enough to send his pulse racing out of control.

He could hear the rustling of clothes being discarded and he glanced over his shoulder to see Harry standing there, looking down at him with wide green eyes. He was stroking himself and staring at Draco's arse and Draco felt tingling warmth run down his spine and straight to his groin.

He turned and buried his face in his shaking arms. He anxiously shifted his hips, restlessly grinding against the firm mattress and feeling his cock hardening at the thought of what was to come.

He felt the bed dip as Harry climbed on and he almost jumped out of his skin when a warm palm rested on his thigh. Harry's hands slid slowly up his legs and over his arse, his fingers alternating between soft, gentle touches and deep kneading and groping.

Draco squeezed his eyes shut when he felt unsteady breaths wafting over the small of his back. Then a velvety soft tongue touched him, lightly tracing over the dip at the base of his spine. Lips sucked at the curve of his hip and traced down over the swell of his arse. Sharp teeth bit at him and he moaned as he pressed himself up, trying to get Harry to bite him harder without saying a word.

He opened his mouth to protest when he felt Harry's strong hands on his arse, spreading him open; exposing him. But before he could get a single word out, hot breath and an even hotter tongue were teasing and lapping at his entrance and his brain promptly shut down, only able to concentrate on that tiny yet suddenly hugely significant part of his body. He had never had anyone do this to him before, he had never allowed it and he was beginning to wonder why as he felt his body turning to jelly under the overwhelming and wholly unfamiliar sensations. Goose bumps erupted over his shuddering body, making the fine hairs on his arms and legs stand on end. His nipples hardened to painful nubs and he rubbed his chest against the bed, trying to create some sort of friction to ease his discomfort.

A startled cry was pulled from him as he was forced up onto his knees. Harry pushed his legs further apart before returning to his task of making Draco lose his mind.

"_Harry_," Draco panted. Had he not been so out of his mind with lust, he may have been humiliated by the way his hips pushed back so eagerly against Harry's face, urging his tongue deeper inside of his body. But at that moment, he didn't care what he looked like or sounded like or what he was saying as long as Harry didn't stop.

He whined when Harry pulled back, but then there was a finger in his slightly loosened hole and it didn't hurt at all like it had last time. He pushed back, forcing the finger deeper and moaned when Harry ducked his head lower and ran the flat of his tongue over his balls.

"Fuck me," Draco grunted. He buried his face in his arms, keeping his knees firmly planted beneath him to support himself. "Harry…_please_." His head snapped up and he arched his back as a second finger breached him and brushed lightly over his prostate, making his cock pulse and throb. He wondered if he'd even last or if he would come before Harry even got inside of him.

"You look fucking _amazing_ like this," Harry breathed against the skin of his arse. He forced a third finger in and pushed deep.

Draco hissed at the slight sting, but bucked his hips back against Harry's hand. "Now," he moaned. His fingers clenched tightly in the sheets below him and he gritted his teeth, trying to hold back his orgasm. "Harry…fuck me _now_."

Harry pumped his fingers a few more times then Draco was suddenly empty. He let out a soft sigh of disappointment and looked over his shoulder to see Harry grabbing the lube from the bedside table. He watched as Harry poured the clear, fragrant liquid into his hand and lathered his cock in a few short strokes. Green eyes met grey and they stared at each other for a moment, no sound in the room except the labored sound of their breathing.

Harry reached out and ran a gentle hand over Draco's hip. "Say it again," he whispered.

The corners of Draco's lips turned up into a soft smile. "I love you."

Harry smiled a blindingly bright smile then moved into position behind him.

Draco resettled himself on his forearms and pressed his forehead against the bed. He clenched his eyes shut and tried to relax as he felt Harry rubbing the smooth head of his cock against his opening. He pressed in slowly and Draco held his breath as the head slipped inside of him.

Harry ran one hand in slow circles over the small of Draco's back, his other hand holding tightly to one of his hips. "Alright?" he murmured.

Unable to speak, Draco nodded and pushed back, forcing Harry deeper inside of him. He groaned as his body stretched to accommodate the welcome intrusion and sighed in contentment when he felt Harry's balls pressing against his arse.

Harry kept his hips still and continued running his now trembling hands over Draco's back in a comforting manner. "Still alright?" he whispered.

"Yes," Draco sighed. He shifted his hips cautiously and when he felt only a slight tingling of pain, pushed back against Harry. "Please…move."

Harry slowly slid out about halfway and quickly pushed back into him.

Draco gasped and fisted at the sheets, bunching them into his hands. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of Harry's cock dragging over that sensitive bundle of nerves that were sure to be his undoing any minute now.

"Not gonna last," Harry groaned as he began to thrust faster and harder.

"Mm," Draco moaned in agreement. He managed to raise himself up on shaky arms and looked back over his shoulder, desperate to see Harry moving inside of him.

Harry's face was flushed with exertion, his fingers almost white where they gripped Draco's hips. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed, his mouth open as he sucked in as much air as he could between thrusts. "So good," he moaned softly. "Fuck, Draco…you feel so…_fucking_…good." He lowered his head and opened his eyes, meeting Draco's gaze.

"Kiss me," Draco whispered.

Harry stilled his hips as he repositioned himself, his arms planted firmly on either side of Draco. He pressed his chest to Draco's back and kissed him, though the position wouldn't allow much more than a brushing of lips and tongues.

Draco continued to push his hips back, even after Harry had stilled and he clenched his muscles around him, hoping to get him moving again.

Harry groaned and pressed his forehead to Draco's shoulder as he began to thrust in earnest. He slid a hand over Draco's chest and down to his cock, which he gripped tightly as he began to pull in time with his thrusts.

"Oh, God." The slow burn in his stomach and balls began and Draco knew it was only a matter of moments before this was over. "Harry…" He clamped down around Harry's cock, trying to speed Harry's orgasm along.

"Fuck, Draco." Harry kissed his shoulder and brushed his lips over his ear. "I love you," he moaned. "Draco…I love you."

Draco came with a cry that sounded and felt like a sob; Harry's softly spoken words increasing the intensity of his orgasm ten fold. He pressed his face into his violently shaking arms as his body shook spectacularly, his hips still moving, trying to prolong his pleasure. His vision had gone cloudy and dim as he struggled to catch his breath and he thought it might very well be the most perfect orgasm he had ever experienced.

"I love you," Harry muttered against the back of his neck as he continued to thrust into him. He released Draco's spent cock and slid his hand up his pale chest to rest over his wildly pounding heart. "_Draco_…" Harry's whole body froze and he moaned loudly into Draco's neck. His hips jerked and his breath caught as he released himself inside of his lover.

Draco's eyes burned with tears and he squeezed them shut when he finally realized that he was crying. He pressed his face into the sheet beneath him and clenched his teeth tightly, trying to hold in the sob that was so desperate to escape. _He loves me._

Harry placed dozens of lingering kisses on Draco's sweaty back before slowly pulling out of him and guiding Draco's trembling form down onto the cool sheets of the bed. He eased himself down beside him, facing him. "Draco," he whispered. He leaned in close and pressed his lips to the blond's temple. "Hey."

Draco turned to him to see Harry's brilliant emerald eyes also shiny with unshed tears. He managed a small, exhausted smile and a soft sigh in response. _He loves me._

Harry smiled as he brushed the tears away with his fingertips, tracing Draco's jaw line and chin with gentle strokes. He leaned in and kissed his forehead, then rolled onto his back, pulling the blond close against him.

Draco pressed himself tightly to Harry's side and buried his face in his neck. He let Harry hold him until he finally drifted off to sleep, warm and happy and surrounded by the scent of the man he loved.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Hope it was worth the wait! Please review._


	19. Chapter 19

_AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. If I haven't gotten back to you, I apologize and please know that every review is read and taken into account. You are helping me to become a better writer and I can't thank you enough for your feedback. Please enjoy the last chapter of Dismantle Repair. I made it nice and extra long for you all! _

_OH! And a wonderful reviewer named Made of Glass asked if they could translate my story into Portuguese, but I'm not sure how to get into contact with them. Made of Glass, I would be honored if you wanted to take on a task like that. Just send me a pm with your email and we can discuss it._

_And now…on with the show!_

Chapter Nineteen

- June 3rd -

Draco lounged outside on the wicker chaise on the back porch, idly scratching Chuck's head with one hand and clutching a glass of merlot in the other. He scowled as he stared out at the gloomy, grey sky and the swaying of the branches of the willow tree. There was a thunderstorm on the horizon and despite his usual dislike of rain and wind he was actually looking forward to it. The tempestuousness of a summer storm fit his mood ideally.

Harry was acting strangely. He had been since that day just over a week ago. The day that they had finally – after years of dancing around and behaving like childish gits – admitted that they loved each other. The same day that Draco had been legally declared an orphan by his wretchedly sorry excuse for a father. The best and the worst day of his life rolled into one long, wonderful, emotionally exhausting, royally fucked up day. When he allowed himself to dwell on it, which was much more often than was probably healthy, the part of the day he concentrated on, either the happy part or the sad, depended solely on what sort of mood he was in at any given time. Today, it was the latter.

He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day and set his wine on the green tinted glass coffee table to his right. It had been a housewarming gift from Blaise and Pansy, both of whom usually shared his impeccable eye for sleek and modern furnishings. Draco hadn't had the heart to tell them that he found it rather unsightly, so he had simply placed it on the back porch instead of in the sitting room, where Pansy had no doubt intended it to go. He inwardly shrugged. Pansy hadn't seemed to notice, and besides, it was his house and he could do as he wanted.

He slouched down lower into the chaise and slid to the side, creating a large enough space for Chuck to cuddle up with him. He patted the cushion and whistled quietly.

Chuck whined softly as he hesitated, unaccustomed to being invited onto furniture other than the bed, but after a little cajoling from Draco, he was curled up beside him, his furry head resting on his owner's chest.

He was busy, Harry had told him. He had to help out a friend who was having a rough time. Draco snorted softly and mentally rolled his eyes. He had heard brief stories about Remus Lupin and had even caught a quick glimpse of the man at Sirius's funeral, but he didn't understand why he was suddenly being pushed aside in favor of someone Harry hardly ever even spoke of. He didn't understand why Harry spending time with Remus Lupin meant that he couldn't see Draco as well, even if only at night.

"I'm being a selfish prat," he said softly as he nuzzled Chuck's head with his nose. "Just like when I left you with Pansy for all that time." He scratched the dog's chin and kissed him. He knew he was being ridiculous, wallowing in self pity, but he missed Harry and he couldn't shut off the small part of his brain that was insisting that his boyfriend was avoiding him.

They hadn't seen each other in four days, which was longer than they had been apart since they had gotten together. And his birthday was only two days away. Harry had promised him that they would spend it together, but Draco didn't want to wait that long to see him again.

"I don't share," he muttered into the dog's furry neck. Chuck just wagged his tail and raised his face to lick Draco's hand. "You don't seem to mind my spoiled behavior." He smiled and wrapped his arms around Chuck's neck. "You love me unconditionally, don't you, boy?" Chuck's tail wagged even harder and Draco laughed. "At least someone does." He buried his face in soft black fur and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Draco."

His head darted up in surprise when he heard the soft, hesitant sound of his mother's voice. He stared at her in shock for a moment before remembering himself and arranging his face into a cool mask of indifference. "What are you doing here?"

Narcissa cleared her throat and looked out towards the pond for a moment. "It really is beautiful out here," she said after a long, drawn out silence.

"Mother," Draco said, his tone sharp. "What do you want?"

She took a deep breath before looking back at her son. "I left him."

Draco paused for a moment then gave Chuck a gentle push so he could stand. "Permanently?"

She nodded and bit her lip. "I filed the papers today."

He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't find the words. He turned back to the chaise and sat down heavily, shocked.

Narcissa took a step closer and clenched her hands together in front of her. "You were right about him all along and I…" She shook her head and let out a small mirthless laugh. "You were right, Draco. And I never saw it."

"Are you alright?" Draco asked when he finally found his voice.

She managed a small nod, but Draco could see the trembling of her hands and the fear in her wide blue eyes. His parents had been married since they were nineteen years old. She had never been on her own before and he could see how terrified she was at the idea of going it alone.

He stood again and went to her, his earlier anger towards her completely gone. "Come sit." He gently took her arm and guided her over to the chaise. He refilled the wine glass and pushed it into her hands, silently urging her to drink.

"I thought he would listen to reason," she said softly. She wrapped both shaking hands around the wine glass to keep it steady as she drank deeply. "He said so many things, Draco. So many nasty… things…" She shook her head again and held the glass out to him, her troubled eyes fixed steadily on the swaying willow tree.

Draco refilled the glass for her then took a long swig out of the bottle, hoping to calm his own rattled nerves. "I'm sorry, mum," he said softly. But that was a blatant lie and they both knew it. He had never been _less_ sorry in his entire life. His mother was an intelligent, proud, beautiful woman and she deserved so much more than Lucius Malfoy. "What are you going to do?"

A soft sound, partway between a laugh and a sob escaped her lips and she took another long drink from her glass. "I have no idea," she said softly, almost to herself. She swiped at the tears on her pale cheeks and let out a shaky breath before forcing a smile onto her face and looking back at her son. "Can I…?" She made a vague motion with her hand, directed at the house behind them.

He sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Of course you can stay with me," he said as he pressed his lips to her head.

She let out a choked sob and pressed her fingers against her lips. "I'm so sorry," she mumbled. "I'm sorry I didn't defend you, love…I'm sorry I was such a coward."

"Shh," he hushed her and squeezed his eyes tight. "It's alright, mum. I understand." He held her closer and kissed her head again. "And you are not a coward. A coward would have stayed."

"I should have left when you did." She rested her head on his shoulder and forced a deep breath.

"Stop it," he softly demanded. "You're here now and we're going to get you settled into the spare room and we'll have some dinner and before you know it, you'll be feeling right at home and you'll forget all about that bastard."

"Draco," she scolded with a soft laugh. "Language."

He kissed her cheek and stood up, holding a hand out to her. "Do you have any bags with you?"

"I left them in the car." She took his hand and stood. "Are you sure I won't be intruding dear? What about Harry? He won't feel awkward with me here?"

Draco frowned. "Trust me. You're not in the way," he said in lieu of an answer.

Narcissa returned the frown. "Did you two break up?"

He rolled his eyes and turned to head out to the car. "We're fine mother. He just doesn't come over here. I go to his place."

She followed him and made a soft tsking noise. "Well that's rather silly, darling. Why would you want to go all the way out to London when it's so peaceful and quiet out here?"

"You'll have to ask Harry," he said, trying to keep his tone light. "He's been invited over. He just usually talks me into coming over there instead." Draco didn't understand Harry's reluctance to come over, but he could tell the idea of it made him nervous, so he had stopped pushing.

Draco steered the conversation in a different direction as he carried his mother's suitcases into the spare bedroom and helped her get things organized. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, waiting for another breakdown, but besides looking exhausted and sad, she held up like the strong woman he knew she was.

They had a light dinner of soup and salad as they chatted about the baby and Draco's work. It was early when Narcissa suddenly stood and kissed his cheek. She thanked him and headed off to bed, leaving him alone. Draco suspected she was only trying to spare him from witnessing more tears, for which he was thankful. He was more than accepting of the fact that he had never grown comfortable with other people's emotions.

Only once he was alone and the house had fallen silent did he realize that his phone had not rung once all day, which was an odd occurrence when one was best friends with Pansy Parkinson-Zabini. Remembering that he had left it on the back porch, he whistled softly to Chuck who was lounging on his cushion by the fireplace, and headed back outside to retrieve it, the dog softly padding behind him.

He picked up the phone from the hideous green table and saw that it was on vibrate, explaining why he hadn't heard it ring through the open windows.

He flipped the phone open and his heart jumped and began to race when he saw that he had nine missed calls. He dialed into his voicemail and held the phone to his ear.

"Draco, it's time!" Pansy's voice cried out excitedly. "I'm going to be a mum! Can you believe it? Hurry up and call me back. Blaise is on the phone with Ron right now and they're getting ready to leave for the hospital. Contractions are coming quick so it shouldn't be long now. Bye, love!"

"Fuck." He headed back inside and towards his room to get changed and silently cursed himself for not keeping his phone on him when he had known that Hermione was due any day. He deleted the message and continued listening as he threw open his closet doors to find a change of clothes.

"Dray, where are you?" Blaise said, his voice sounding quiet and a bit shaky. "We're having a fucking baby and I'm suddenly scared out of my fucking mind and you're not picking up, you fucking wanker!" There was a heavy sigh and a long pause. "Call me back."

He chuckled softly as he pulled on a clean white cotton button down. He went to the next message.

"Hermione asked where you were," Pansy said and now she sounded angry. "We're at the hospital. Call me."

Draco tried to balance on one leg at a time as he pulled on his boots and eventually gave up and sat down on the edge of the bed to finish tying them. He moved on to the fourth message.

"Hey, it's Ron. Pansy and Blaise are starting to get really angry so I would get my skinny arse down here if I were you. I already have enough to deal with, what with my wife trying to break my fingers and screaming bloody murder, so I would appreciate the help, mate. Call one of us soon."

He finished lacing his boots and grabbed his keys and wallet from the nightstand, shoving them into his pockets. He deleted Ron's message and went to the next one.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," Pansy growled. "I will hate you forever if you aren't here to see my baby born."

Draco snorted. _Oh, she is going to be an absolute _joy_ when I get there._

He knocked lightly on his mother's door, and then peeked inside when there was no answer. He found her lying on the bed, fast asleep. Instead of waking her, he covered her with the throw blanket from the chair beside the bed, kissed her head and left her to sleep.

He jotted a quick note in the kitchen as he listened to the sixth message.

"Alright, now I'm just getting worried," Blaise said and he sounded more stressed than Draco had ever heard him. "You always have your phone with you and we're all going a bit mad wondering if something happened to you. Can you please call someone and just let us know that you're alright?"

Guilt flooded through him as he locked up the house and raced out to his car. He didn't bother listening to the rest of the messages and was halfway through dialing Blaise when his phone rang. Harry's name and number popped up on the caller ID.

"I'm so sorry!" he said before Harry could say a word. "I left my phone outside and I didn't notice. My mother came over and I didn't realize it wasn't on me."

Harry took a deep, shaky breath on the other end and exhaled loudly. "Thank God you're alright," he said softly.

Draco's chest tightened and he couldn't help but smile at the sound of relief in Harry's voice. "You were worried about me," he laughed softly.

"Yes, I was." Harry didn't sound nearly as amused. "Blaise and Pansy had me convinced you were dead in a ditch somewhere."

"I'm on my way right now. I just pulled out of my driveway and I should be there in twenty minutes. Tell Hermione to keep her legs together and I'll be there before – "

"It's already done. The baby's already here," Harry interrupted.

Draco felt himself deflate. He hadn't realized how excited he was until the disappointment hit him. "I missed it?"

"It happened really fast," Harry said, his tone softer than it had been only a moment before.

"When?"

"About three hours ago."

Draco hit the steering wheel and sighed heavily. "Well, what is it?"

"It's a girl," Harry said and Draco could hear the smile in his voice. "She's so beautiful, Draco. Wait until you see her."

"How's Hermione? Everything go well? Is she in a lot of pain?"

Harry laughed. "She's too doped up to feel much pain. But yes, she's fine. Everything went smoothly and she should be able to go home in a day or two."

Draco stopped at a red light and rubbed at his eyes. "Are Pansy and Blaise angry?"

"No, I think once they saw her, they forgot all about being angry with you."

Draco smiled and let out a breath of relief. "What did they call her?"

"Nothing yet. Still debating." There was a sudden ruckus in the background and Harry laughed loudly as he pulled the phone away from his ear and said something to someone that was too quiet for Draco to hear. "I should go," he finally said. "Blaise is summoning me to Hermione's room. Apparently, Hermione says that Molly Weasley is driving her insane and that she will be more than happy to use hormonal imbalance as an excuse to commit murder if I'm not there in five minutes."

Draco laughed. "Go on then. Tell her I'll be there to see her as soon as I can."

"I will. Bye, Draco."

"Bye. I love – " But Harry had already hung up.

Draco bit harshly at his lower lip as he tried to ignore the embarrassment and hurt that exploded in his chest. He threw the phone down on the passenger seat and stepped on the gas.

*.*.*.*

By the time he had parked the car, bought flowers at the gift shop and made it up to the maternity ward, Draco was out of breath from running and uncomfortably damp from the rain. He stood outside Hermione's room for a moment, listening to the soft conversation that flowed from inside and the soft rolling thunder in the distance. Once he had caught his breath, he pasted a smile onto his face and walked in to join Hermione, Ron and Molly Weasley in the small, private room.

"Draco!" Hermione said as she lifted a hand to him. She smiled brightly at him, her eyes shining with happiness and a few tears.

"I am so sorry," he said as he took her hand and sat beside her. He set the flowers on the side table and leaned in to kiss her flushed cheek. "How are you doing, love?"

Her smile faded a bit, but she squeezed his hand and waved off his question. "Have you seen her yet? Oh, Draco…she's so amazing! I knew she would be, but…she's so tiny and perfect and I never…I never imagined…" She sniffled and brought a shaking hand up to cover her watery eyes.

Ron sat down on the other side of her bed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "It's alright to be sad, love," he said as he pressed his lips to her temple. He looked up at Draco and gave him a weak smile and a helpless shrug.

Draco swallowed hard as he held tighter to her hand, unsure of what to say. He glanced over at Molly Weasley who was wiping at her eyes as she gazed sadly down at her daughter in law. "You'll have your own in time, dear," she said softly. "You're young still. You have plenty of time yet."

Hermione took a deep breath and nodded. She kissed Ron's cheek and clutched tightly to Draco's hand as she exhaled heavily and opened her eyes. "You should go see her. Pansy and Blaise are down at the nursery. Pansy hasn't stopped crying since they told her it was a girl."

Draco managed a smile and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

Hermione nodded and smiled back at him. "Of course I'll be alright. I'm going to be her godmother. It's the next best thing, really."

Draco's forced smile morphed into a genuine grin. "I don't think I've ever known anyone quite as remarkable as you, Hermione Weasley. What you've done for them…" He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "There aren't words enough to thank you and I will never forget it."

Her brown eyes flooded with tears again and she swatted at his arm. "Get out of here. You're just making me all emotional and I need to sleep."

He kissed her hand again and stood. "I'll be back before I go. Get some rest." He smiled and slapped Ron on the shoulder then nodded at Molly as he turned to head to the nursery.

Pansy and Blaise were nowhere to be found. But standing alone in front of the window, one hand resting against the glass, was Harry. He was smiling and whispering softly at something out of Draco's line of sight, something that he correctly assumed was the baby.

Draco walked up behind him and slid his arms around Harry's waist. Tension he hadn't even realized was there melted away when he felt his boyfriend leaning back against him. Draco rested his chin on his shoulder and followed Harry's gaze down to the sleeping baby wrapped in a white and pink blanket that was lying in the cradle closest to the window. Hermione was right, she was tiny.

"Isn't she amazing?" Harry whispered as he rested a hand over Draco's. He turned his face to the side and gently kissed the curve of Draco's jaw. "She looks like Pansy."

"She's beautiful," Draco agreed. He pulled Harry tighter against him as they both looked back at the baby girl. "Do you want this? Do you want children?" He had been debating for weeks whether to bring the subject up. He himself did not want any, but he knew he would reconsider in a heartbeat if Harry felt differently.

Harry shrugged in his arms and was silent for a long while. "I don't think so," he said eventually, his voice soft. "When I was little I used to imagine the family I would have when I was grown, but…" He shook his head. "No. I don't think so anymore. I can't imagine myself with a child."

"I bet you'd be a wonderful father." Draco brushed a kiss over Harry's neck and turned his attention back to the baby.

"I don't know about that," Harry said. He sighed heavily. "It makes me a little sad that there will never be a little Lily running around, or a James. But I've been through a lot of messed up shit in my life and I have a feeling that none of it will ever really leave me. I don't want to push those fears and insecurities onto an innocent child." He broke free of Draco's grip and turned to face him. "Why? Do you want children?"

Draco looked down into wide green eyes that were staring back at him expectantly. Harry looked nervous, even a little scared. "No," Draco told him. He brushed Harry's hair back from his forehead and kissed him softly. "I never really did want them. I'm too selfish for a child."

Harry exhaled heavily and gave him a small, relieved smile. He turned back to face the baby.

Draco ran a hand down Harry's back and stepped closer to him, wrapping his arm around the smaller man's waist. "Do you think I could see you tonight?"

Harry watched the baby for a moment then shook his head. "I told Remus that I would – "

With a loud, annoyed huff, Draco abruptly pulled away from him.

"He's going through a really tough time, Draco. Sirius was his best friend."

"It's been five months already," Draco snapped at him.

Harry frowned, his emerald eyes flashing with anger. "Yes, thank you for reminding me. I had no idea how long it had been since the last of my family _died_."

Draco felt his cheeks grow warm and mentally cursed his fair complexion, knowing Harry could see his embarrassment. "You know that's not what I meant. I'm sorry it came out that way, but why the fuck are _you_ the one who has to take care of this guy? Isn't he an adult? Shouldn't he be able to take care of himself by now?"

"You don't get it," Harry muttered as he pushed past him and started down the hall.

Draco grabbed his arm and spun him around to face him. "What the hell is going on, Potter? We never see each other anymore and when we do, you're completely distracted and don't even seem to want me there. If you don't want to be with me just fucking say so already."

Harry scowled as he shoved at him, pushing away his grasping hands. "It's not always about _you,_ Draco! I'm sorry if I've been distant lately, but I've got a lot of shit on my mind! Forgive me if I'm having a hard time of late, but it seems like I'm constantly surrounded by things I would rather not remember."

Frustration and confusion warred in Draco's head and he tried his hardest to calm down and just listen, but Harry was making no sense. Everything had been perfect only a few weeks before and now everything was going terribly wrong and he hated not understanding what he did to cause this horrible tension between them. A lump was forming in his throat; his breaths coming faster and harder as he once again reached for his evasive boyfriend. "Will you please just…just tell me what's going on with you! You won't talk to me and I don't know what I did, but – "

"June 6th," Harry stated. He crossed his arms over his chest and just stared up at him. "It's in three days."

"What?" Draco wracked his brain, trying to remember what had happened on June 6th of last year when it suddenly hit him like a wrecking ball to his gut. "Oliver," he said softly. _Fuck. Even in death, he'll always come between us._

Harry flinched, but nodded. "Yes."

Draco scratched at his hair and took in a deep breath. "So, every year around my birthday you're going to be moping about because Oliver got what he _deserved_?"

Harry's face went red as he took a menacing step towards his boyfriend. "You are a selfish prick," he growled. "I'm sorry that I can't just forget what happened that night. But you weren't fucking _there,_ Draco! You didn't see…" He paused, looking suddenly stricken and swallowed heavily before pushing on. "You know what? Never mind. I don't even _want_ to see you tonight, how's that for a fucking _reason_? You're a selfish, arrogant prat and I don't think this is going to work out."

Draco's throat went dry and the color drained from his already pale face. "Stop it," he choked out. "You don't mean that."

Harry just stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Don't do this, Harry," he said, taking a step closer. "I'm sorry that I've been such a complete prat lately, but…" He grabbed Harry's fisted hand and pulled it to his chest, holding it tightly against him, right over his rapidly thundering heart. "Fuck, Harry, I'm sorry."

Harry let Draco hold his hand for a moment before pulling away and shoving both hands into his pockets. "Remus hasn't said anything, but I think they were lovers."

Draco couldn't find his voice, so he just stared at Harry, willing him to go on.

"If that's the case," Harry said, looking away, "and I'm pretty sure it is, then I don't blame him for being so devastated. If anything happened to you, it would fucking kill me."

Warmth spread through Draco's chest as he listened to his love and he felt even more horrible for how he was behaving. "I just miss you is all," he eventually said in his own defense.

"I know," Harry said with a nod. "But we can't be together all the time. I have to help him. He's the last link I have to my family."

"I understand." Draco moved closer to him, but he felt a bit hesitant to touch him.

Harry pulled his hands free from his pockets and ran his fingers through his dark hair, creating an even bigger mess than usual. He roughly scrubbed both hands over his face and sighed heavily.

"We're okay, right?" Draco asked.

Harry rubbed his eyes and sighed again before finally looking at him. "You should go find Pansy and Blaise. They just ran downstairs for a few minutes to make a couple phone calls."

Draco swallowed heavily, not missing the fact that Harry seemed to be avoiding his question.

Harry glanced at his watch. "I'm running late. I should go." He started to walk past Draco.

Draco grabbed his arm and leaned in, kissing Harry softly on the cheek. "I love you," he whispered.

"Love you too," Harry said. He kissed Draco quickly on the mouth, then stepped back, looking him directly in the eye, seemingly searching for something in his gaze. After a long, tense silence, he nodded and without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving Draco with nothing to do but to watch him go.

*.*.*.*

"Do you want to hold her?" Pansy asked, hovering over Draco as she gently rocked the small precious bundle that was her daughter.

Draco bit his lip and glanced over at a sleeping Hermione and an exhausted looking Ron, neither of which were in any sort of condition to save him. "Hmm… maybe you should let someone else have a turn," he suggested. His eyes darted over to Molly Weasley who was sitting in the chair at Hermione's bedside and humming softly to herself as she knitted what looked like pink booties.

"Nonsense," Pansy laughed. She held the baby out to him. "Cradle your arms together…yes, just like that. Make sure you support her head." She placed the baby in his arms and adjusted the blanket before stepping back and covering her mouth with her hands. "Perfect." She started to cry as she stared down at them. "Blaise, bring the camera over here and get a picture of them."

Draco was tense, utterly terrified that the ridiculously tiny infant would slip from his arms if he moved the wrong way. He shot a panicked glance at Blaise who just snapped a couple of pictures and went back to leaning against the wall and chuckling softly, obviously enjoying his best friend's uneasiness.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Draco asked as he stared down at chubby cheeks and dark, fluttering eyelashes. He relaxed minutely and when it seemed that the baby was still secure, he leaned back in his seat, attempting to make himself a bit more comfortable.

Pansy frowned and looked over at Blaise. This was obviously something they couldn't agree on. Draco mentally rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the sleeping baby. _She'll be lucky to have a name by Christmas with the way their arguments usually go._

"I like Gretchen," Blaise said, returning Pansy's frown.

Pansy rolled her eyes at her husband and made a gagging motion. She looked back at Draco and smiled. "I like Delilah," she said with a bright grin.

Draco groaned softly. "Ugh…no," he vetoed.

Blaise laughed. "I knew you had my back."

"I certainly don't like Gretchen either," Draco shot him down. "But Delilah sounds like a stripper's name."

Pansy gasped in horror. "No it does not!"

"I think I actually knew a stripper named Delilah once," Blaise said with a smirk.

Pansy gave him a dark look. "And how exactly is it, my dear husband, that you would have occasion to know _any_ strippers?"

Blaise's smirk faded quickly and he cleared his throat. "Uh…Draco made me go," he said quickly.

Draco glared at him. "Don't even blame the only homo in the room, Zabini."

"Anyway," Pansy said, waving a hand to dismiss their former conversation. "I would like my daughter to have a pretty name. Not something that would remind people of a grandmother."

"Hey! My grandmother was a very lovely woman!" Blaise shot back at her.

Pansy raised an eyebrow and smirked at his outburst.

Draco ignored their argument in favor of watching his niece sleep. _I can't believe it, but I am actually smitten. She'll have me wrapped around her finger in no time._ He held her closer and leaned over to brush a light kiss over her downy black hair. "What about Lily?" he said quietly, thinking of his conversation with Harry earlier. _Yes…she definitely looks like a Lily._

The Zabini's went silent.

Draco looked up at them to see them staring at each other, both with rather approving looks on their faces and having what seemed to be a silent conversation. Pansy was all pursed lips and raised eyebrows and Blaise had cocked his head to the side, the corner of his mouth turned up in a half smile as he stared back at his wife.

"It's pretty," Draco said as he sat up straighter. "It doesn't sound like a stripper or a grandmother and it's a flower, just like you, Pans."

Pansy's face lit up as she looked down at her child. "Lily," she said softly. She looked back at Blaise. "What do you think?"

"I like it," Blaise said with a wide grin.

Pansy clasped her hand together as her smile grew. "We're giving her Jean as a middle name, in honor of the saintly woman who carried her." She smiled over at their dozing friend who had given them their child. "She flat out refused to let us use Hermione as a middle name. She said, and I quote: 'I will kill you both if you saddle the poor thing with a name like that'."

Ron snorted softly from his spot at his wife's side.

Draco grinned over at him, and then looked back down at the sleeping child in his arms. "Well hello there Lily Jean Zabini." He frowned and looked up at his best friends. "I don't think I like the Jean Zabini part."

"Me neither," said a soft, tired voice.

They all looked over to see Hermione struggling to sit up in bed, smiling at them.

"Lily is a beautiful name though," she added as she settled back against the pillows that Ron tucked behind her.

"We could use Gretchen as a middle name," Blaise suggested.

"We are not using Gretchen for _any_ part of her name," Pansy barked at him.

Blaise frowned at his wife and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine," he muttered under his breath.

Draco chuckled quietly as he cradled Lily closer and slowly stood. He carefully made his way to Hermione's bedside and sat down beside her, tilting his arms towards her so she had a clear view of the baby. "I think Hermione should be the one to pick her middle name, don't you think?"

"Oh, of course," Pansy agreed. "What do you think, 'Mione?"

Hermione smiled fondly down at Lily and reached out a hand to run her fingertips over her cheek. "What about Grace?"

"Oh, I like that," Pansy said as she sat down and grabbed Hermione's hand. Tears started to fill her eyes as she squeezed her friend's hand. "Lily Grace Zabini. Does it meet your approval, Uncle Draco?"

He smiled, never taking his eyes off the peacefully sleeping Lily. "It's perfect," he whispered.

*.*.*.*

"Do you think Harry will mind that they called her Lily?" Draco asked from his position sprawled in the chair next to Hermione's bed.

It was just the two of them. Pansy and Blaise were down at the nursery with Lily and Molly and Ron had gone home to get some sleep at Hermione's insistence. It was late and Draco was tired, but his fight with Harry had left him shaken and he wasn't in a hurry to go home to his lonely bed.

"No," Hermione assured him, squeezing his hand. "I don't think he'll mind at all."

Draco nodded and sighed. "So…how are you feeling? Mentally?"

Hermione shrugged as she turned onto her side to better face him. "I know I'll be alright in the long run, but I didn't really expect it to hurt so much." She smiled, but wiped away a stray tear with her fingertips. "It was so worth it though. Pansy and Blaise deserve to have such a beautiful little girl and I feel honored that I was able to give that to them. I just…I don't think I really thought about how hard it was going to be to not be the first person to hold her. Or to not get to take her home with me once I'm out of here."

Draco moved from his chair to her bedside. "Budge over," he said as he patted her hip.

Hermione scooted over and made room for him.

Draco kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed with her. Once he was comfortable, he slid his arm around her and pulled her against him.

Hermione sighed as she rested her head over his heart. "I don't think I'm really ready for children yet," she said softly. "But when I am, I hope they're as perfect as she is."

"They will be." Draco kissed the top of her head and held her tighter. "I think Pansy is worried that you're going to grow to resent her. She kept watching you while you were sleeping and she seemed really nervous."

"Never," Hermione said with no hesitation. "I know we've only known each other for a few years, but Pansy is like the sister I never had. We just clicked immediately. And I love her and Blaise and Lily so much. They are going to be the most perfect little family and as long as she lets me be a part of it, there will be no resentment."

"You don't have to worry about that," he promised her. "Give her a couple of months and she's going to be calling Aunt Hermione for babysitting duties on a weekly basis."

"I can't wait," she laughed softly and snuggled closer to him.

They lay in silence together for a while before Hermione finally spoke up.

"Are you going to tell me what happened that put that look on your face?"

"What look?"

"When you came back from visiting the nursery you had this look on your face like someone had stolen Harry _and_ Chuck."

Draco laughed softly, but it was forced and faded quickly. "I just have some…insecurity issues, I think."

"Ah…so, it is Harry then?"

He nodded.

"He's been acting a bit strange lately."

Draco nodded again, his heart rate jumping, as it was prone to do at the thought of his boyfriend's behavior of late.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you. You're all he talks about, you know."

Draco took a deep breath. "I love him so fucking much, Hermione."

She laughed and hit him lightly on the stomach. "Of course you do, you silly prat. We've all known that for years now."

Draco nodded again and stared blankly up at the ceiling.

"He told me what happened with your father," she said a bit hesitantly.

Unable to look at her, Draco just closed his eyes and swallowed heavily.

"That was a really brave thing you did. And kind of romantic if you ask me."

He let out a shocked laugh and turned his head to look down at her. "Romantic? It was hardly romantic."

She shrugged and smiled. "I thought it was. The dashingly handsome prince rebels against his father, the tyrannical king and declares his love for the man who melted his once frozen heart and turned him into the perfect storybook prince charming."

He snorted softly and kissed her head. "At least you got the 'dashingly handsome' part right. I don't know about the 'perfect prince' though."

"What happened with Harry?"

Draco shrugged. "Just a stupid argument. I think he tried to break up with me for a moment there. Well, no…he _did_ try to break up with me, but I managed to put a stop to it. I think." He shifted nervously and finally turned onto his side to face her. "I don't know what I'd do if he really left."

Hermione smiled and tucked his hair behind his ear. "I don't think you need to worry about that, love. Harry has a tendency to speak before he thinks about what he's saying. He isn't going anywhere; not without you anyway."

Draco nodded and took her hand in his. "Do you want me to leave so you can get some rest?"

She squeezed his hand and smiled. "Do you think you could maybe stay until I'm asleep?" she asked, an uncharacteristic hint of vulnerability in her voice. "I don't really want to be alone at the moment." Her brown eyes filled with tears again, but she blinked rapidly until they were clear.

"Of course I'll stay," he whispered. He had no desire to be alone either, so he turned onto his back and pulled her back into his arms. "I'll stay all night if you need me to."

"Thank you." She buried her face in his chest and eventually fell asleep.

Draco stared up at the ceiling for hours until he finally fell asleep as the sun rose.

*.*.*.*

- June 4th -

He awoke to the incessant sound of someone knocking on his door. He groaned as he rolled over and checked the time on his alarm clock. It was well past three in the afternoon and he sighed as he flopped back against his pillow and threw his arm over his face, shielding his eyes from the midday sun. "What?" he barked out, irritated at the nonstop noise.

The door swung open and Narcissa stuck her head in, a cheery smile on her face. "You've been sleeping for hours, darling. Get up and come have some lunch."

"I'm not hungry, mum." He rolled over and pulled the covers back over his head. He growled only a moment later when said covers were pulled away and his mother sat down beside him.

"How was the baby? Is she as beautiful as I would imagine?"

"There're some pictures on my phone," he said, though he made no move to show her.

"It's time to wake up now, Draco." She gently rubbed his back. "You've been asleep all day."

"I pay the mortgage therefore I can sleep as long as I like." He tried to shrug her hand off, but was unsuccessful. "Come on, mother…I only slept for an hour or two at the hospital and I didn't get home until almost eleven. I'm tired."

"And cranky," Narcissa pointed out.

"Yes, and cranky. So leave me be."

"I've made cookies, dear."

He cracked an eye open and looked up at her. "You did? What kind?"

"Peanut butter chocolate chip. And they're still warm."

He heaved an overly dramatic sigh and sat up. "Well, since you're _obviously_ not going to leave me alone…"

Narcissa smiled and kissed his cheek before leaving him alone to clean up.

After brushing his teeth and changing his clothes he grabbed his phone and joined his mother in the kitchen where she had set three cookies and a glass of milk on the small round table. He ate the cookies and drank his milk as he showed off the pictures of his niece to his mother. Narcissa cooed and was thrilled by the idea of Draco naming the beautiful little girl. He feared the birth of the baby would kick her grandmotherly instincts into overdrive, but she didn't even bring up the idea of him one day reproducing, for which he was more than thankful.

Draco snuck another cookie and kissed his mother on the head before heading back towards his room to finish getting ready for the day.

"What are your plans for the day?" he asked as he shoved his wallet in his back pocket and grabbed his keys from the bowl by the front door.

"I was going to give Pansy a call and then maybe go visit the baby. Other than that, I thought I would clean up a bit around here and maybe take Chuck for a walk."

The dog jumped up from his spot by the fireplace, his tail wagging frantically as he hurried over to Narcissa.

"Now that you've said it, you must do it," Draco told her. "It's his favorite word and he'll sulk all day if you go back on it."

Narcissa patted the dogs head and smiled at her son. "Have a good day darling. Should I expect you for dinner?"

"I don't know yet. I haven't spoken with Harry, so I'm not sure."

"Well, let me know when you are sure and I'll make enough for both of us if necessary." She kissed him on the cheek and opened the door for him.

"Keep cleaning up after me and baking me cookies and you can stay here for the rest of your life."

She swatted at his arm and pushed him out the door. "And, Draco…do bring your young man home some day. I would really like to get to know him again, especially since he's so important to you."

He gave her a small smile and nodded then hurried out to the car, suddenly eager to get away from her and to get back to work.

*.*.*.*

After giving it a lot of thought, Draco and Blaise had decided to hire a full time manager for the bar, leaving both of their schedules open and allowing them to come and go as they please.

Draco spent the afternoon showing Hannah the ropes. She had plenty of experience in bar settings and seemed to fit in nicely with the rest of the staff, so come eight o'clock, Draco was completely at ease with leaving her to close. The rest of their employees were familiar enough with the closing process to help her along should it be needed.

Once he was out of the club and into the fresh air he had time again to be irritated by the lack of contact from his boyfriend. He lit a cigarette as he leaned against his car and dialed Harry's number.

He didn't bother leaving a message when the phone rang twice then was sent straight to voicemail.

He finished his cigarette and took a few minutes to calm himself down before getting in the car with a vague plan of picking up greasy take out and visiting Hermione.

Before he could even start the car, he received a text message from Harry that read: '_Can't talk right now, have company. I told you I would be busy today. Talk to you when I'm free'._

Draco growled and had to restrain himself from throwing his phone out the window. "No, you did _not_ tell me you would be fucking busy," he muttered to himself as he started the car and tore out of the parking lot, heading towards Harry's house. _I've had enough of this. Remus can live without him for one fucking day!_

He was considerably calmer by the time he pulled onto Harry's street, despite the fact that he had to park three houses down for lack of a closer free space. He gathered his courage and spent another minute taking a few deep breaths to calm himself then headed to Harry's house.

But the breathing exercises were futile. As he walked up Harry's front steps, he couldn't help seeing into the open window and what he saw set his blood on fire.

Harry was slouched down on the couch, his eyes closed and his head resting on Cedric's shoulder. Cedric had an arm around Harry's shoulders as he rested his head against the smaller man's.

Draco was frozen in shock, but was jolted back to reality when he heard their voices.

"I don't know what to do," Harry said softly, but they were sitting close enough to the window that his voice drifted through clearly. "It seems like all we do is fight anymore and I'm really tired of it."

"What causes your fights?"

"Mostly Remus. But it's not his fault. And it's not my fault that he needs me. I can see how lonely his is; how sad. Someone has to be there for him."

With a soft sigh and a quick squeeze, Cedric untangled himself from Harry and turned on the couch, pulling his legs up underneath him. He took Harry's hand and held it in both of his. "Can I be completely honest with you?"

Harry nodded and rolled his head to the side so he could look at him.

"You keep pushing Draco away, claiming that Remus needs your help. But you seem to forget that I've seen Remus, Harry and he seems to be doing just fine."

Draco's heart stuttered in his chest. He may have been jealous of the amount of time and attention Remus Lupin received, but he had never for one moment guessed that his need for said attention was a lie. _And how the bloody fuck does Cedric know Remus?_

"You seem to be using Remus as an excuse to spend some time away from Draco," Cedric said softly, his voice gentle. "Is that what you're doing?"

Harry stared at Cedric for a moment before looking down at their entwined fingers and clutching them tighter. He shrugged. "It makes me feel better when I'm with him. I feel like I have a family and I don't miss Sirius as much. I feel loved and needed."

Draco's breath caught and he bit down on his lip so hard that his mouth was filled with coppery tang of blood.

"Draco doesn't make you feel loved and needed?" Cedric sounded incredulous. "He and I had our problems, I'm the first to admit, but I almost always felt loved. Needed, maybe not so much because I don't know that Draco knows how to show that kind of vulnerability, but I always knew he loved me."

"It's different when I'm with Remus," Harry almost whispered.

Draco's eyes went wide and he almost choked.

Cedric's face unknowingly mirrored Draco's. "Uh…it's not a romantic thing, is it?"

"Oh God, no!" Harry protested immediately. "Ew…Cedric, that's just…_ew_." He shuddered and shook his head. "No. It's not romantic in the slightest. I just…" He sighed and ground his teeth together, clearly frustrated. "I can't explain it. When I'm with Remus, I can just…_be_. I don't have to say a word all day if I don't want to. But Draco…well, there are times when being with him just doesn't…work."

That was a direct blow and Draco felt it all the way down to his toes. He inhaled sharply and took a step back, desperate to get away, but still reluctantly curious about what Harry would say next. As badly as he wanted to, he couldn't make himself leave.

"Don't you think you should talk to him about how you feel instead of constantly pushing him away? I can see his side of things and I'm sure he's feeling a bit uneasy at the moment. I know I would."

"There are things I can't say to him. Sometimes I feel like…like I can't talk to him. I told him all about my past and about the things the Dursleys did and the night Sirius died, but…" He shook his head and pulled his hand away from Cedric. "It isn't his fault and he did nothing wrong, I just need space sometimes. I feel… smothered."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Cedric assured him. "But I really think you should talk to him. How's he supposed to know how you're feeling if you don't tell him?"

"I'm thinking about…" Harry took a deep, shaky breath and moved away from Cedric. "I'm thinking I should maybe break things off with him." He hung his head and rested his elbows on his knees, refusing to look at Cedric and looking absolutely miserable.

Draco flinched, his heart beating violently in his chest.

"Is that really what you want?" Cedric asked after a long silence.

Draco didn't wait to find out. A low growl escaped his lips before he could stop it and he quickly spun on his heel, taking the porch steps two at a time, unwilling to listen any longer. His chest hurt and he couldn't take a deep breath. He felt humiliated; that Harry would talk to his ex-boyfriend about their relationship; that the constant blow offs in favor of Remus had been Harry's need and not Remus'; that Harry was feeling smothered and was thinking about breaking up with him when Draco was so desperate to spend more time with him.

Angry and hurt beyond belief, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Harry's number as he jumped in the car and sped off.

Surprisingly, Harry answered on the third ring. "I can't talk right – "

"Don't worry, Potter, I'll make this quick," Draco interrupted, his voice as cold as steel.

"What's wrong?" Harry suddenly sounded worried and Draco secretly reveled in that fact.

"I just wanted to let you know that you're a fucking _liar_ and we are done with."

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"You can take your precious Remus and fuck off for all I fucking care!" he continued in what he would later admit to himself was a childishly petulant tone.

"Draco, what's going – "

"I'm tired of you pushing me away and I'm tired of worrying that you're going to break up with me and I'm just bloody tired of _you_ in general."

"Will you please – "

"You've been avoiding me and don't you dare fucking deny it!"

"I haven't – "

"Ever since I opened my stupid mouth and told you that I fucking _love you_, you've pushed me away. Well, don't expect me take it back, Potter, because as much as it pains me to admit it, it's completely true and I won't do that."

"Of course I don't want – "

"I won't take it back," he repeated, more to himself than Harry. "But I should never have said it. Things were perfect until then. It ruined everything just like it always ruins everything." He sighed heavily as he pulled up to a red light and let his head drop back against the headrest, all of the fight suddenly leaving him. "I thought we were done with this, Harry. I thought we were in a really good place and…I _love you_, you stupid git. But I can't do this anymore."

There was a sound like a choked sob on the other end, but Harry said nothing.

Draco hesitated a moment then continued. "Tell Cedric that I said hello." He flipped the phone shut and brushed the back of his hand over his tearing eyes as he continued down the road, no destination in mind.

*.*.*.*

"What are you doing out here?"

Draco hugged his knees closer to his chest and continued to stare at the reflection of the moon off of the surface of the pond. "I don't want to talk right now, mum. Please just leave me alone."

Narcissa tied her robe more tightly around her and settled on the ground at his side, keeping enough space between them so Draco wouldn't feel crowded. She set a folded afghan and a silver thermos between them. "Pansy called me in quite the tizzy. Imagine my concern at getting a phone call in the middle of the night, your best friend telling me that no one knows where you are."

"Well, you found me," he muttered, his lips pressed against his knee.

"Thankfully I noticed your car out front or I may have called the police."

"It wouldn't be the first time you've overreacted."

"You're my only child, Draco. Protecting you is not an overreaction."

He rolled his red rimmed eyes and snorted softly. "I don't need to be protected."

Narcissa watched him in silence.

"Did you need something else, mother?" he finally asked when he could no longer stand the feel of her searching eyes on him.

"She said you turned your phone off and no one can get a hold of you."

"So?" He curled his fingers in the cool grass at his side before viciously ripping it up and tossing the clump aside.

"Harry is devastated," she said softly.

Draco glared at her. "Don't," he warned, his voice coming out in a low growl.

"He eventually called Pansy when he couldn't get through to you. Said there was some sort of misunderstanding?"

"It wasn't a fucking 'misunderstanding' mother, he's a fucking _liar_."

"Language, Draco," she scolded.

"God…will you please just leave me the fuck _alone_? I'm not a child anymore. I don't need you to try to fix everything and I don't need your reprimands. Just go away so I can be angry for awhile. I think I've at least earned that right." He roughly swiped at the tears on his cheeks, his anger magnified by the fact that he was crying in front of her. He didn't want to cry in front of anyone. He just wanted to be left alone.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Narcissa finally stood and brushed herself off. "It's almost two in the morning. Will you at least come inside?"

He leaned back against the willow tree and folded his arms over his chest. "I'm fine right here."

"I brought you a blanket and some tea. It's getting a bit chilly."

Draco ignored her and sat forward again, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face in his knees. "Please just go away."

"Can I bring you anything else?"

He shrugged. "Do whatever you want."

She sighed softly and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. "I love you. And happy birthday."

"Yeah, happy fucking birthday," he muttered under his breath.

With one long last look, she left him alone to continue his brooding and nurse his broken heart.

*.*.*.*

- June 5th -

Chuck came barreling at Draco, a bright yellow ball clamped between his teeth and his tail wagging at top speed as he flew through the grass. He skidded to a stop in front of his owner and dropped the ball at his feet before crouching down, his ears perking up and his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. He barked twice and jumped in place, waiting to chase his toy again.

Draco picked up the slobbery ball, ignoring the dampness that covered his hand and threw it as hard as he could, smiling as he watched him take off.

They had been there for hours, in the large field down the road from Draco's house. It was a huge empty lot with long grass and plenty of wild flowers and Chuck could spend hours digging through the grass, chasing his ball and occasionally turning his attention to chipmunks and squirrels.

And Draco just wanted to avoid his mother. And everyone else for that matter.

He had left his phone at home and said a quick goodbye to Narcissa, pleading for her to just let him be and to not worry. That had been almost three hours ago and despite the fact that he was dead tired from no sleep and thirsty from the warm sun, he just sat back down on the large tree stump and watched Chuck play.

The dog had gotten distracted and was currently digging a hole, dirt and clumps of grass flew all around him and Draco reluctantly accepted the fact that he would have to bathe the dog when they returned home.

He heard footsteps crunching through the gravel behind him and he clenched his jaw, inwardly cursing his mother for not being able to leave him alone no matter how much he begged.

"It's _my_ birthday, for fucks sake," he snapped, not even looking at her. "Why can't you just accept that I want to be alone?"

"I just wanted to see you."

His shoulders tensed when he heard Harry's quiet, hesitant voice behind him, but he didn't turn around. "I especially don't want to see _you_," he said.

There were a few more crunches of gravel and a shadow fell over Draco, alerting him to how close the man stood.

"Is that Chuck?" Harry asked after a long, uncomfortable silence.

Draco ignored him.

"I've heard a lot about him from Pansy and Hermione. I never pictured you with a dog."

_Sure you have, you just don't remember._ "What do you want, Potter?"

"I just spent two hours with your mum. She's a nice lady."

"She has her days."

"I remember her, you know."

Utterly surprised and unsure of what to say to that, Draco just silently watched Chuck who was now rolling in the dirt, his legs kicking in the air as he coated himself in dust and grass.

"I recognized her at Sirius' funeral, as soon as I saw her. I used to dream about her when I was young and I was never sure who she was."

"You knew and never said anything?"

Harry walked over and sat down on the ground at his side. "You never said anything either."

Draco nodded in concession. "I didn't know what to say."

Harry shrugged. "It doesn't matter anyway. That's the past." He picked at a few blades of grass and tossed them aside with a heavy sigh. "Though it would have been nice if we had gotten to share that history. I think I would have liked growing up with you."

Draco still wouldn't look at him. His heart was racing and all he wanted was to pull Harry into his arms and beg him to take him back, but his pride was about all he had left and he refused to give it up.

"I didn't mean what I said to Cedric last night."

Draco swallowed passed the lump in his throat and reached for his cigarettes. He lit one with a shaky hand and took a long hit as he attempted to compose himself. "Why are you here, Harry?"

"You mean besides the fact that I love you and it's your birthday?"

After another long hit, Draco nodded. "Besides that."

Harry shifted up onto his knees and moved closer. "I decided to go back to therapy."

Draco raised an eyebrow at the abrupt change of subject. "Good to know."

Harry reached out a hand as if he would touch Draco's knee, but pulled it back at the last moment. "I think I still have some issues to work out. You know, Sirius and Oliver and all that."

Draco nodded.

"What did you hear last night?"

Draco finally looked at him and was shocked to find that Harry looked worse than he did. There were dark smudges under his bloodshot eyes and his skin was pale. His hair was its usual mess, but dull and without the charm it normally held. He looked beaten down and…sad.

"I heard you say that I smother you and you were going to break up with me." It was much harder to say out loud than he thought it would be, but he was proud that he managed to get it out without stumbling over his words.

Harry bit his lip and nodded, looking down at his clenched hands. "So, you missed the part right after where I told him that I love you more than I've ever loved anything and that I couldn't do it, even if part of me wanted to?"

Draco's heart jumped with joy, but he kept his expression neutral. He looked back at Chuck who was lying in the grass and chewing on his ball. "Yeah, must have missed that part," he finally said.

Harry hesitantly touched his knee, his fingertips just grazing over the rough material of his jeans. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He moved closer and gently took Draco's tight fist in his hand, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. "I panicked. I never wanted to come over here because…Oliver…" He shook his head and unsuccessfully tried to force Draco to loosen his fist.

Draco snorted softly and shook Harry's hand from his. "Oliver," he said softly, his voice dripping with disdain. "It always comes back to him, doesn't it?"

Harry hung his head, his hands resting on his thighs. "Things were fine until I moved in with him. He never raised a hand to me until I had been there for a few weeks. I had already given up my apartment and Oliver was spending all of the money my parents left me. Sirius and I had had a huge row about him, so I couldn't go to him. I had nowhere else to go, so I stayed."

"That has nothing to do with me," Draco said. He stubbed his cigarette out and tossed the butt behind him into the road.

"I just…I didn't want to give up my house. I wanted us to be together, but I had this stupid fear that if I started coming over here, we would be on your turf and I would lose control and…" He shrugged. "It was stupid."

Draco stared at the top of his head. "You thought I would start acting like him?" he growled, his anger threatening to burst out of him.

"Yes…no…" Harry shook his head, his brow furrowed and his green eyes troubled. "I don't know. I told you it was stupid."

A heavy sigh escaped Draco before he could stop it. "It's not _stupid_," he said softly. "But I can't believe you would think that I would ever hurt you like he did."

"Rationally, I know you wouldn't," Harry said and finally looked back up at him. "But my fear when it comes to these things isn't exactly what you'd call rational, is it?"

Draco stared into his eyes for a moment and shook his head. "Why did you lie about Remus?"

Harry blushed and looked away, watching Chuck as he sunbathed. "I don't really know. He was a convenient excuse." He looked back at Draco and shrugged. "I don't know why I do half of the things that I do. I mostly end up regretting them after."

They fell into silence again and Draco hated the awkwardness of it. He shifted a bit on the large stump and patted next to him. "You can sit here if you'd like. The ground can't be very comfortable."

Harry jumped to his feet and was next to Draco in an instant. He leaned into him slightly so their shoulders touched, but he stayed silent.

Draco watched him fidgeting from the corner of his eye and wished he knew what to say to make things better. But he couldn't find the words.

"I didn't mean to lie about where I was yesterday," Harry eventually said. "After our talk at the hospital the other day, I decided that I would go visit Oliver's grave and try to get him out of my system so that it wouldn't ruin your birthday." He rested his hand on Draco's knee again and let out a huge breath before continuing. "I ran into Cedric at the cemetery. He stayed with me while I was there and since I was really in no condition to get myself home, he drove me. I was supposed to meet with Remus, but he cancelled on me so I invited Cedric in and we had a couple drinks. I just needed someone to talk to and I didn't want to talk to you because you get so upset when Oliver is mentioned and I _hate_ upsetting you."

Draco felt a brief pang of remorse that his actions had given Harry the impression that he couldn't talk to him. "I never meant to make you feel like you couldn't bring him up," he said. He covered Harry's hand with his and his heart soared when Harry immediately turned his hand over and wound their fingers together. "I just…I hate him for what he did to you."

"Me too," Harry choked out. He leaned in and rested his forehead on Draco's shoulder. A soft sigh escaped his lips and he gripped Draco's hand tighter. "I love you so fucking much, Draco."

Hit with the overwhelming desire to have him closer, Draco pulled his hand free and wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulder. He tugged him close as he pressed his lips to his hair. "I love you too."

Harry hid his face in Draco's neck and let out a soft sob. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too." Draco turned to face him directly and pulled him into his arms, squeezing him tight. He buried his nose in Harry's citrus and smoke scented hair and felt the tension begin to bleed from his body at the familiarity of it. "My God, I love you," he whispered again, his throat and eyes aching and burning. He took Harry's face in his hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs as he leaned in to kiss him.

Harry made a soft, desperate noise against his lips as he kissed him harder. He grabbed the collar of Draco's shirt and held on tightly, murmuring soft apologies and "I love you's" between kisses.

Draco jumped and laughed against Harry's lips when a wet nose and a rough tongue brushed over his arm. He pulled back enough to look down at Chuck who pressed closer to them, trying to wiggle his way in between.

"You're interrupting a very important moment," Draco scolded him playfully.

Harry dropped a hand into Chuck's fur and scratched his shoulders. "He's so soft." He pressed closer to Draco, refusing to let the dog push them apart.

Draco stroked Chuck's head and leaned in to place a lingering kiss on Harry's neck. "Want to go back to the house? I'm sure if we hint around enough mother will think of somewhere to go so we can spend some time making up."

Harry smiled brightly at him and Draco's chest grew tight at the sight of it. "That sounds perfect," Harry agreed.

Draco stood and held his hand out to his boyfriend. He pulled Harry to his feet and kissed him hard, one hand gripping his dark hair, the other brushing down his back to grab his arse. He squeezed and smiled into the kiss when Harry made a squeaking noise.

"I missed you," Draco whispered against his lips.

"I missed you too," Harry murmured when they finally pulled apart. He bit lightly at Draco's bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth.

"Fuck," Draco groaned, clutching at Harry's shoulders. He abruptly pulled away and grabbed Harry's hand, whistling loudly to call Chuck to his side. He started dragging Harry down the street, almost breaking into a run in his eagerness to get back to the house and into his bedroom.

Harry laughed breathlessly as he struggled to keep up.

*.*.*.*

TBC…

_AN: Epilogue up next…God, that went by fast! Hope those of you still with me enjoy it. Thank you for reading and please tell me your thoughts._

_Oh, and I apologize to anyone named Gretchen or Delilah. I do not in any way dislike either name (I think they're both quite lovely, actually), but Draco was just being a bitch because he didn't like the names! Hope I didn't offend anyone!_


	20. Chapter 20

_AN: So, this is it folks! When I started writing this story years ago, it was never meant to be shared with anyone. Then my friend Jenn convinced me to let her read it and based on her reaction I let another friend read it and it snowballed from there. And I'm really, really glad that I decided to post this. The response has been overwhelming and I love you all for giving me such wonderful feedback and for making me laugh on a daily basis. I'm really sad that this is over, but it was a great experience. I'm going to have to get cracking on another story right away so I can keep this feeling._

_Thank you again to all of you. You rock!_

Epilogue

One Year Later…

Draco unlocked the front door and was greeted with silence. His meeting had run much later than expected, but he had hoped Harry would wait up for him. But the living room was dark, the only light in the house that was on was over the mantle in the living room. It showcased various framed pictures of Harry and Draco as small children along with one enlarged photo of James and Lily Potter holding a brightly smiling dark haired little boy between them.

"Harry?" he called out as he dumped his keys into the bowl on the table and dropped his briefcase next to the coat rack.

Chuck came padding out into the living room, wagging his tail and brushing against Draco's pants.

Draco patted his head and muttered a soft "hello" then headed toward their room, expecting to find Harry asleep on the bed. He had had therapy that day and he usually passed out early on those days.

But Harry wasn't there. Instead Draco found a note and a red rose on his pillow.

He smiled as he picked up the rose and sniffed it before setting it down and picking up the letter.

_D._

_Put on some comfortable clothes and join me outside. _

_Happy Birthday, my love._

_H._

Draco kicked off his shoes and quickly undressed. He pulled on a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans then headed for the backdoor, not bothering with shoes.

The weather had been beautiful that week and Harry had been spending the majority of his free time either lying out in the sun or splashing around in the small pond. Draco had tried to tell him that it was unsanitary, but Harry wouldn't hear it and had on more than one occasion bodily dragged Draco into the cool, clear water.

Draco shut the door behind him, keeping Chuck locked up so he wouldn't have to keep an eye on him and made his way down towards the water.

The sun was close to setting and there was a warm breeze rustling the trees. His eyes tracked over the neatly cut grass and the ancient willow tree and finally fell on the shape beneath the tree.

He laughed softly at the image of Harry, half tangled in a blanket, his arms sprawled in the grass at either side of him and his mouth open as he snored softly. The upper half of his face was covered with his shirt, which Draco knew he used to keep the sun out of his eyes. It wasn't the first time he had fallen asleep out there and it surely wouldn't be the last.

Draco's gaze moved over the picnic basket and backpack that were lying next to his prone boyfriend. He walked over and flipped the lid to the basket and his stomach flip flopped when he saw that Harry had packed them a lovely snack of strawberry's, bread, cheese, chocolates and wine.

"Damn it," he said softly as he realized that Harry had probably been waiting for him for hours. Half of the strawberry's had been eaten and the bottle of wine already opened.

He kneeled next to his love and carefully untangled the blankets from his legs. He spread the blanket out and gently lifted the shirt from Harry's face.

Harry mumbled something in his sleep and turned his head away, exhaling heavily.

Draco smiled down at him. Over the last year, watching Harry sleep had become one of his favorite pastimes. The facial expressions and the soft sounds he made caused Draco's stomach to flutter and his heart to race. Harry was beautiful. And he was all his.

He debated lying down beside him and taking a quick nap when Harry suddenly moaned and shifted again.

Draco's grey eyes went wide and a wicked smirk twisted his lips as he looked down to see the beginnings of an erection tenting Harry's shorts. Suddenly desperate to make up for his meeting running late, he chuckled softly and moved very slowly, being particularly careful not to wake his sleeping lover.

He lifted his leg to straddle Harry's knees and watched his face closely to make sure the movement didn't wake him. When he was sure the man was still oblivious to his nefarious intentions, he carefully freed the button and unzipped his shorts. He moved forward to straddle his thighs and slid his hand into Harry's pants to release his rapidly hardening cock.

Harry groaned in his sleep and his hips gave an involuntary thrust. Draco wrapped his fingers around him, loving how he fit so perfectly into his hand, and stroked him slowly.

At the brush of a thumb over the sensitive head, a low moan came from Harry's parted lips and Draco could no longer resist. He leaned forward and ran his tongue slowly over the fullness of Harry's bottom lip as he increased the tempo of his strokes.

Harry rolled his hips and his breath caught, but he still didn't wake, even as Draco's licks turned to nibbles.

Draco kissed a path over Harry's chin and neck, making his way over to his ear. He sucked lightly on his earlobe before tracing the shell with his tongue and squeezing his cock a bit harder.

Harry arched his back and let out a soft cry. One hand lifted to rest on Draco's back and Draco raised his head just in time to see his lashes flutter and his eyes open.

"Draco," Harry whispered, his voice deep and low, a rumbling that Draco could feel through his chest. The vibrations went straight to his already painful erection and he pushed against Harry thigh, trying to relieve the unbearable pressure.

Draco swooped in and kissed him deeply, his tongue licking and tasting as his lips sucked at Harry's. He bit down lightly and just as quickly as the kiss began, he dropped his head to kiss Harry's exposed throat.

"You're late," Harry protested weakly, his hips still thrusting as Draco continued to stroke him.

"Sorry, love," Draco muttered against his skin. "My mother and Lupin took all fucking night reading the papers for the shop."

Harry carded his fingers through the soft hair at the nape of Draco's neck, sending shivers down Draco's spine. "Did they get approved?"

"Mm hm," Draco confirmed as he licked a path over Harry's neck and down to his chest. He ran his teeth lightly over a collarbone, nipping softly and leaving small marks behind. Goose bumps erupted over Harry's tan skin.

"Who would have thought it?" Harry managed as he squirmed restlessly beneath the blond. "Your mother working in general is strange, but at least a flower shop fits her. I never saw Remus owning a flower shop. They're very odd business partners. "

"Odd roommates too," Draco said. He nipped at Harry's shoulder and slid his hand down to gently massage his tightening balls.

Harry groaned and threw his head back. "Someone had to live at Grimmauld Place," he said.

"Can we please stop talking about my mother while I have your bits in my hand?"

Harry snorted and laughed, but it quickly turned into a moan when Draco took an erect nipple between his teeth and nibbled.

"I'm sorry I was late and ruined your surprise," Draco said between kisses to Harry's chest and throat.

"It's alright." Harry smiled and brushed his fingers through his pale blond hair, pushing it out of his eyes. "I had plans though."

Draco looked up into sparkling green eyes. "Yeah? What sort of plans?"

"Well, they mostly revolved around your cock and my arse," Harry told him.

Draco snorted.

Harry grinned. "I didn't say it was an especially complicated plan." He groaned as Draco finally eased down between his spread legs, pressing their erections together and rocking slowly. "Even brought the bag." One hand made a vague motion towards the backpack that Draco knew hid many useful items.

"Mmm…wonderful plan," Draco agreed. "I agree whole heartedly." He flicked his tongue over Harry's nipple then blew on it, watching as it grew harder under his watchful eyes and the coolness of his breath.

Harry grunted and clutched at his back. "Can we get to it then?"

Draco laughed. "In a hurry?"

"Yes!" Harry confirmed. He thrust his hips up. "I feel like I'm going to explode! I've been waiting for you for hours."

"Aw. My poor, poor Harry." Draco placed a kiss just over Harry's heart and traced his ribs with his fingertips. "Do you know how much I love you?" he whispered.

"Do you know how much my cock loves your mouth?" Harry countered, sounding vaguely disgruntled.

Draco laughed and shimmied slowly down Harry's body. "Alright, alright," he mumbled. He licked and sucked his way down Harry's torso and pushed his knees further apart so he could lie comfortably between them. He looked up, staring directly into Harry's eyes as he slowly ran his tongue up the length of his shaft.

Harry hummed softly under his breath, his eyelashes fluttering as he slid a hand into Draco's silky hair. "I love you," he muttered.

Draco smiled and licked a slow path back down to the base. He ducked his head and gently ran the pointed tip of his tongue over the highly sensitive skin of his balls.

Harry sucked in a breath and thrust his hips. "Come on," he whispered, trying to urge him along.

Draco brought a hand into play. He raised his head and took the tip into his mouth, swiping his tongue over the damp head and moaning as the salty sweet taste of Harry burst over his taste buds. He cupped Harry's balls for a moment before sliding his hand further back. When his fingers met slick skin, he pulled up from Harry's cock and stared up at him, shocked.

Harry grinned a toothy grin and raised an eyebrow. "All prepped and ready to go," he said with a wink. "Now just fuck me already."

The image conjured in his mind of Harry stretching himself, preparing himself for him left Draco almost speechless with desire and his cock gave a painful throb, growing impossibly harder. "_Fuck,_ Harry," he groaned. He scrambled up to his knees and hurriedly undid his pants, watching as Harry quickly divested himself of his shorts. He wasn't patient enough to undress completely, so he pushed his pants down around his knees and moved into position.

Harry reached between them and took Draco's leaking cock in hand. He gave it a couple of quick pumps then guided it into place.

Draco pushed forward and moaned as the familiar tight pressure engulfed him. He sank deep inside with one thrust, then stilled. He pressed his mouth to Harry's in a gentle kiss that quickly turned heated as Harry wrapped his legs around his waist, pulling him closer and deeper.

"I love this," Draco said as he pulled back. He propped himself on his elbows so they were face to face and thrust his hips forward sharply.

Harry drew in a harsh breath. "Me too," he whispered.

"Fucking you every day," Draco muttered. He thrust again and a burning jolt of pleasure ripped through him at the strangled sound Harry made. "Sleeping beside you every night." He raised himself onto extended arms and began to thrust faster. "Waking up to you every morning. I love all of it."

Harry panted heavily through his open mouth as he pushed up against him.

Draco ducked his head down and bit gently at Harry's stubbly chin. "I love when you don't shave," he whispered.

"I know," Harry smiled at him.

Draco shifted back. He took hold of Harry legs and pulled them from around his waist. He guided them up so that his calves rested over his shoulders and leaned forward again, resting his weight on his hands.

"Oh _fuck_," Harry groaned, his face and neck flushing and his body jerking with every thrust.

Draco smirked. After years of fucking, he knew Harry's body well enough to know the signs of impending orgasm, so he kept his thrusts steady, brushing again and again over his prostate. Unlike with any of his past lovers, Draco enjoyed giving Harry pleasure almost more than he enjoyed his own pleasure. There was nothing like the sound of Harry's breath catching or the sight of fluttering eyelashes and clenched teeth. And the moaning…Draco thought he could possibly come just from listening to Harry's various noises.

"Close," Harry whined. "Draco…oh God, Draco…_please_…touch me."

Draco licked his palm and slid it between them. Two strokes over Harry's heated flesh and he went tense, his muscles clenching tightly as his orgasm burst from him, painting their chests in stripes of white.

Draco's stomach and groin began to tighten and burn as he leaned forward to kiss his panting lover. "Love you," he whispered.

Harry sighed in contentment and ran his hands down Draco's sweat slicked back. He gripped the cheeks of Draco's arse and lightly brushed one finger over his opening.

Draco's mouth fell open and he felt his orgasm suddenly approaching at full speed. He slumped forward on top of Harry and pressed his face into his neck. "Yes, Harry, yes," he groaned. His fingers clawed at the grass on either side of his lovers head as his hips continued to thrust frantically. Harry's fingertip brushed him again then carefully pushed inside and Draco clamped his teeth down on the brunet's neck as he came with a muffled scream.

Harry laughed softly as he continued to rock his hips, easing Draco through the intense pleasure. When Draco's erection finally started to wane, Harry stilled his hips and grabbed two handfuls of hair, pulling him into a rough, sloppy kiss.

"Can't…breathe…" Draco managed between wet kisses and gasping breaths.

Harry laughed again and moved his kisses to Draco's neck.

"That was bloody brilliant," Draco said even as he tilted his head to allow Harry more access to his overly sensitive skin.

"That it was," Harry agreed. He nibbled at Draco's earlobe and shifted against him, pressing his already reawakening cock up against his stomach. "Care to have another go?"

Draco laughed a startled laugh as he felt Harry's hardness pressing against him. "Give me five minutes." He rolled onto his side and off of his lover, throwing an arm over his eyes and attempting to catch his breath.

Harry sat up and began the task of pulling Draco's legs free from his jeans. Once they were both completely naked, he collapsed back at his lover's side and cuddled close to him. "I supposed you can have a short break, but then it's back to the plan."

"Of course, love." Draco blindly grabbed for the edge of the blanket and pulled it over their bodies and heads, wrapping them into a tight cocoon. He turned onto his side and shifted until their foreheads were pressed together.

"Just a short nap," Harry reminded him.

Draco nodded and clutched at Harry's hand. "I know. We have to get ready to go to Ron and Hermione's soon anyway." He sighed, reluctant to move. He didn't want to leave the house again.

"I cancelled," Harry said as he brushed a light kiss over Draco's forehead. "Told them we'll see them tomorrow."

Draco smiled and pulled him closer. "I knew there was a reason I kept you around."

Harry smiled and closed his eyes, pulling Draco's hand up to rest against his still racing heart.

There was a short silence and Draco began to think that Harry had already fallen asleep. He opened his eyes for a quick peek and saw Harry staring straight back at him.

"I love you," Harry said for possibly the five thousandth time since they had made things official the summer before.

But hearing those words, and especially from Harry, never got old. Draco moved closer and kissed him softly, returning the sentiment.

**THE END**

_AN: Like? Love? Hate? Please let me know what you thought and if you were satisfied with the ending. I'm really crossing my fingers that I didn't disappoint any of you._

_And for the final time (this story, anyway) thank you all so, so, so much for reading and reviewing. I love you all!_


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